The Legend of Zelda:Fire of the Gods
Episode One: Looming Destruction
Scene One: INT- THE TEMPLE OF TIME. (the temple of time appears to be more of a church at this point in time, with pews leading up to the steps). Camera zooms in on two priests sitting in the back pews, talking to each other.
Priest: Divinatio, the Elders are denouncing Din and Nayru as part of our faith.
(Divinatio does the equivalent of a serious, dramatical, facepalm)
Divinatio: Then the prophecy is true. There will be a holy war, make no mistake of it.
?: What are we to do? Shall we inform the Royal Family?
Divinatio: The Elders have surely sent word of the situation. Time runs short…
Scene Two: EXT- HYRULE FIELD (we notice that Lon-Lon ranch is under construction in the distance, and that a ring of fire is above Death Mountain) Camera pans across the field until a figure is visible. The camera zooms in on the figure who is sitting against a tree, obviously lost in thought)
Volcanus: *sighs*. *he closes his eyes and the scene fades into a flashback*
(the camera dramatically zooms in, out a bit, and in again. We see three Hylian Knights standing in a row, one in front of the other two. They are scrutinizing someone in front of them, of which we can only see that person's back)
Exodus: You cannot quit the Hylian Knights, Volcanus. What you are committing is treason. You will be exiled and branded a traitor and everyone will despise you.
Volcanus: (in a quiet, but dark and serious tone) Go ahead and try to brand me, see if they despise me.. We both know what happened last time you challenged me, and I believe the scar remains.
Exodus: *discretely pulls up the sleeve of chain mail on his right arm and notices the large, jagged scar of a well-placed slash* *scoffs* Lucky strike…
Volcanus: *shakes head* No Exodus, you're just arrogant and unskilled. You're only a knight because daddy is a servant of the Royal Family.
Exodus: *a drop of sweat rolls down his forehead* Seize him and throw him out of the castle!
-*all of the guards make a slight motion towards Volcanus, but stop in their tracks due to over-whelming fear*-
Volcanus: I will be leaving now. Enjoy your bloodbath. I hope you're proud of yourselves.
-*Volcanus turns around-* (the camera zooms in on his face, showing his medium blonde hair and blue eyes. There is a flash and the scene is Hyrule Field again)
Volcanus: *picks up his sword next to him and rises to his feet. He looks off into the distance toward the castle (the camera is in a first-person view so that it pans across the field)*
Volcanus: [begin monologue] They'll go to war with races they once considered allies and brothers, all because some Goddesses decided to get in a altercation over jealousy. I won't have it. (the camera is now behind his back, off to the side [a closer version of the RE:4 camera]. Everything but Volcanus is blurry, then the background becomes clear as he pivots a bit, facing the direction of the forest).
Scene Three: EXT- GREAT DEKU TREE'S GROTTO IN THE KOKIRI FOREST (The Great Deku tree appears to be talking to a tall figure in a cloak that covers their entire body and face)
Farore: (in a sad, disappointed tone) …So you won't fight for me? I made this Forest, and granted it the gift of life.
Great Deku Tree: (gravely) You have changed Farore. You have become something other than the courageous, loving spirit you once were. You are now dark and full of loathing, and your human-form reflects that. You wont show your face to the little Kokiri because you know that they've become afraid of you. We Kokiri will not take sides in this petty war.
Farore: (bitch-mode) I could destroy all of you. In a snap.
Great Deku Tree: Please, don't waste my time with threats against your own children. Besides, we both know that your life force is linked with this very Forest. If you were to destroy it, your sanity would be lost.
Farore: Someday, you will see the light and you will join me. You'll see *disappears in a flash of green light*
-* a Kokiri sticks her head out from behind the small pathway's wall*-
Saria: Is it safe Deku Tree?
GDT: Yes young Saria, you may come out now. She's gone.
Saria: Why is mother mad at us?
GDT: Mother is jealous of her sister's power, and her other sister's knowledge. She feels insecure. But we wont take part in a fight over such…trifle matters, will we Saria?
Saria: No Great Deku Tree, we wont. As long as the baddies stay out of our Forest, we will not resort to violence.
GFT: You are wise Saria. Maybe someday, you will be as wise as me (dry laughter). Until that day comes, please continue to visit my grove and grace me with your presence.
Scene Four: EXT- DEATH MOUNTAIN, ON THE MOUNTAIN TOP (camera zooms in on Daron's face)
Daron: (yelling) I, Daron, leader of the Gorons, pledge allegiance to the mighty Din! Her power is stronger than that of anything else, and her will is infinite! The Gorons will fight for you!
(camera lowers and angles so that you can see the ring of fire above the mountain. The ring flares up and grows a little bit)
Daron: *turns around and faces Darunia* What ails you brother? Does the thought of War scare you?
Darunia: Of course not! I am ready to crush the human scum! *he looks to the ground, slightly uneasy* (hint hint, he's obviously feeling some guilt there)
Daron: That's what I wanted to hear! And of the (tone of disgust) Zoras?
Darunia: *rage fills face* I WILL CRUSH THEM BETWEEN MY HANDS! THEIR PUNY SPINES WILL CRUMBLE BENEATH MY POWER AND MIGHT! (war cry)
Daron: *laughs* There is a reason you are my top soldier Darunia. Someday, you will probably become the leader of the Gorons.
Darunia: Me? No, for you are a far more superior leader than I could ever hope to be, sir!
Daron: Don't kid yourself brother. We all know how strong you are. Who else could have sealed off that infernal river with that great boulder besides you? Most of us would have ripped our muscles to shreds even attempting such a feat!
Darunia: Ah, you jest. It was nothing really… *Darunia walks away.*
(scene cuts to Darunia is his private room meditating on his sleeping mat. Camera zooms in on his face, which begins to twist into terrible expressions. Images flash on-screen of Darunia carrying a boulder and clogging Zora's river with it)
Scene Five: EXT- LAKE HYLIA (camera is focused on the sun. Pan down-left [show glare during pan]. A pair of Zora soldiers float above the entrance of the Water temple on the surface of the lake)
Vance: *muttering to self* Gotta watch for those overly-masculine rock-eating freaks…
Other Zora: Vance, what the Hell? Why do we have to watch for Gorons? They can't even swim and we're on an island. What the hell man?
Vance: For all we know, they might be able to breathe underwater. In that case, they could walk to the Water Temple. If we left it unguarded, they could destroy our main water source. I like being alive, I don't know about you.
Other Zora: Go die in a fire Vance.
Vance: We have to remain vigilant. We are the the watchmen of this sacred place.
*Ganondorf jumps down from a tree and crouches on the island* (camera is in front of Vance, where you can see Ganondorf, dressed in a hooded-cloak and leather armor)
Ganondorf: Ah, but who watches the watchmen?
*Vance whips around to see Ganondorf, who is now standing up- (He looks young and wild, with all the vigor of a young thief)
Vance: Get lost thief. You and your kind are not welcome around here.
Ganondorf: Ooh, look at the scary Zora. Try your skill against me.
*Vance dives deep down into the water and touches the bottom with his feet. He crouches, and springs up, rocketing upwards out of the water- landing on the hill in a frontward combat roll. He brandishes his spear and points it at Ganondorf*
Vance: I said get lost thief.
Ganondorf: NO U *Ganondorf draws twin scimitars and lunges at Vance, bringing the swords inward in a decapitation-pose*
Vance: *steps back and holds out his spear, blocking the attempted fatality. He thrusts the spear forward, knocking Ganondorf back a few yards, and off balance. Vance rushes in and brings the butt of his spear up from his right side, delivering a fierce blow to Ganondorf's face.*
Ganondorf: *gets knocked on his ass* unngh *struggles to his feet* You'll pay for this, Zora.*throws a Deku nut and disappears*
Vance: *shields his face* Hrm. What was a thief doing here at the lake?
Other Zora: Maybe he found out about the…
Vance: Shh! Silence. No one must know about the door in the forest…
Scene Six: EXT- GREAT DEKU TREE'S GROTTO (the GDT is seen talking to Saria yet again)
GDT: A man has just entered the lost woods. He is not a Kokiri.
Saria: Should I warn the others?
GDT: Hm.. No. I cannot sense a hostile presence. He is either lost or…
Saria: Or he's looking for it.
GDT: It will not open for just anybody. Only those who possess certain… qualities may enter. His destiny must be fairly important if he manages to get in…
(scene flashes to Volcanus traveling through the Lost Woods on a small path)
Volcanus: Where the hell am I? *looks around, still walking*
(the camera is following him at a side angle. The camera moves back and to the left, showing the path ahead of him and a tunnel)
Volcanus: Another tunnel? I hope I'm not going in circles. *Volcanus walks through the tunnel and finds a series of logs sticking up in the ground, leading to another tunnel* This should be easy.
(camera is positioned inside the tunnel)
Volcanus: *leaps from log to log with great agility and ease. He walks forward into the tunnel and falls off of a cliff*
(camera is in the same position as it was in Majora's Mask. We see Volcanus fall onto the Lilly pad) [Volcanus screams while falling]
Volcanus: Ungh. What a fall. How am I…? *looks up* Damn. *uses the Master Buster (imagine the Buster Sword and the Master Sword combined. You know it's awesome) to prop himself up* I guess it's forward from here. *walks out of the room and down the tunnel* What the hell?
(the camera shows THAT room, the scattered enormous logs with deku flowers on it)
Volcanus: How am I supposed to…?
*a Deku hovers up in front of Volcanus*
Deku Man: Need a lift?
Volcanus: *nods*
*the Deku man grabs ahold of Volcanus' arm and flies him across the chasm, dropping him off at the tunnel at the opposite end*
Volcanus: Thanks.
Deku Man: Not a problem! Hey, if you happen to stop by Deku Palace, can you tell the butler that his son says…*thinks for a second* 'I'm sorry and goodbye father'
Volcanus: Yeah…sure…alright… *waves and continues down the tunnel into the Clock Tower*
Volcanus: A giant clock? *walks up the stairs and approaches the door* I can hear people!
*shoves the door open*
(a bright light fills the screen as he opens the door)
Scene Seven: EXT- HYRULE FIELD (a small army of Hylian Knights has grouped in front of the castle gates. A small row of priests stand in the very back. We can see Exodus in the very front of the formation, and Divinatio at his side)
Exodus: Let them come. The fools think they are invincible because they are made of rock! Hah! We'll show 'em, won't we boys?
Soldiers: AH-OO, AH-OO, AH-OO! (fuck off, I can make them Spartans if I want to)
Divinatio: Why do they attack us? We have done nothing.
Exodus: Because we are a threat. Priest, do not concern yourself with Knightly affairs. Your job is to heal the wounded and to gather the dead. Do your job, and stay out of our way.
(camera moves behind the formation to see a handful of Gorons rolling over the hill towards the Castle)
Exodus: ARCHERS! FIRE!
*a flurry of arrows fly over from behind the soldiers at the Gorons. The arrows hit them, and the Gorons uncurl*
Exodus: Defend the Castle at all costs!
Battle Mode;
A Goron charges at Exodus and throws a mighty punch. Exodus blocks the swing with his shield and slashes at the Goron's stomach, causing him fall back while the other Gorons move forward. One of the Gorons charges up in a curl and annihilates a line of soldiers and a priest. Divinatio screams and casts a binding spell on the Goron, who receives a cloud of arrows. Half of which enter his face and torso, killing him.
(the camera pans around as more fighting ensues)
Exodus thrusts his blade through the middle of a Goron, twisting it as he shoves. The other Gorons see this and flee.
/Battle Mode
Exodus: THE DAY IS MINE!
(camera pans across the battlefield to see that only seven Priests remain, and two handfuls of Knights)
Exodus: Half of my men? Damnit!
Divinatio: He is not here. That is why.
Exodus: SILENCE! WE SHALL NOT SPEAK OF THE TRAITOR!
Scene Eight: EXT- CLOCK TOWN (the screen is white, but slowly fades to Volcanus' boots. The camera pans up, then comes down at an angle below his face pointing upwards at the tower)
Volcanus: *looks up for a second, then takes a few steps forward and looks up at the Tower again)
(camera is zoomed out a bit so you can see the entire tower)
Volcanus: Where in all of oblivion am I?
(cue "Oblivion" by Mastodon)
*cut to credits*
Episode Two: Revelations
Scene One: INT- MILK BAR (Volcanus sits at the bar talking to the Bartender)
Volcanus: Thanks for letting me in.
Bartender: Nah, you look tired, like you've come a long way. In fact, you don't look familiar. Are you from around here?
Volcanus: No, actually. I kinda stumbled into…uh…into…
Bartender: Termina.
Volcanus: yeah… Termina… *Volcanus looks down the bar at an attractive, shy-looking woman*
Volcanus: I'll be right back… *he walks down to the end of the bar and addresses the woman*
Volcanus: I've seen you before…but not here. You're from Hyrule too, aren't you?
Helena: Yeah, I was a nurse in the Knight's barracks. I recall seeing you only on a few occasions. My name's Helena.
Volcanus: You're the one that took care of me after I dueled with Exodus.
Helena: Yup, 'twas me. You messed him up a whole lot worse than he did you though.
Volcanus: I suppose. So what do you do now?
Helena: I actually work at the Stock Pot Inn across the street, I could get you a good deal on a room.
Volcanus: I think I'd like that. (someone's getting laid…)
Scene Two: EXT- DEATH MOUNTAIN, MOUNTAIN TOP (Daron is having a meeting with his two advisors, Darunia and Biggoron)
Daron: How many have we lost?
Darunia: Twenty. We've lost twenty of our Goron brothers.
Daron: *slams his fist against the mountain*
Biggoron: We have taken half of the Time priests and a handful of Hylian Knights though.
Daron: This is decent news. Any Zoras?
Darunia: *looks at Biggoron uneasily* Actually…they anticipated our attack at Zora's Domain.
Daron: What? How?
Darunia: I don't know sir, but they cornered our brothers and killed most of them. They let one go.
Daron: They will pay…
*a Goron rolls up to them and uncurls in a hurry*
Goron: Sir, it's the Zoras! They're attacking the city!
Daron: Repel them! We cannot lose the Mountain!
Scene Three: INT- THE STOCK POT INN (Volcanus and Helena stumble into a room, drunk as hell)
Volcanus: *hugs Helena in close and slams the door shut in the camera's face*
Scene Four: INT- THE STOCK POT INN (Volcanus wakes up and looks over at Helena who is sleeping next to him. He gets out of bed in his long johns and begins putting on his chain mail and armor)
Volcanus: *putting on armor*
Helena: *wakes up* Good morning my shining Knight
Volcanus: That was cheesy and you know it.
Helena: *laughs a little* I suppose you're leaving town soon
Volcanus: Not to go back to Hyrule of course, they don't like me there. I will not take part in a war of brothers. *buckles the Master Buster onto his belt on his back* I'll be back in town soon enough.
Helena: Goodbye then.
Volcanus: Farewell. *leaves the Stock Pot Inn and starts walking towards the East Exit*
Guard: Halt! Who are you?
Volcanus: I am Volcanus, son of Link Hyrule. Can I go through?
Guard: I don't recognize you, therefore, I don't trust you.
Volcanus: Look, I don't mean anyone harm. I come from…elsewhere.
Guard: 'Elsewhere'?
Volcanus: Yes. Another land. Let me through, time is wasting.
Guard: No. You're going with me to see the head guard and he'll decide what to do with you. I'm sick of you outsiders taking advantage of the town and leaving whenever it suits you fancy.
Volcanus: *looking pissed* I will do no such thing. Let me through or you'll force me to carve a path through you.
Guard: Threatening a guard eh? REINFORCEMENTS! WE HAVE A VIOLENT ONE!
Volcanus: *draws the Master Buster and turns around to see a group of guards encircling him* Really, is this necessary?
*the guard behind Volcanus draws his sword and begins to draw back for an attack*
Volcanus: No. *swings the back-end of the Master Buster backwards toward the guard, smashing his face in*
*the guard drops to the ground, very dead*
Battle Mode:
The other guards move in on Volcanus who darts back and swings, slashing a few guards' chests open. The others move in with their pikes. Volcanus blocks most of them, but right as one is about to pierce his armor and his heart, time freezes and everything but Volcanus turns black and white/greyscale
/Battlemode
Volcanus: *looks around* What's this?…
?: Not your time yet.
Volcanus: *looks up and around* Who are you? Show yourself!
?: As you wish.
*a bright blue light appears and from it steps the Goddess of Time*
GoT: Your journey does not end here. It has only just begun.
Volcanus: Journey? What do you mean?
GoT: You have done something quite extraordinary. You have actually changed your fate Volcanus.
Volcanus: My fate?
GoT: Oh yes, you were supposed to die today. Just a few moments ago. But that cannot happen. You have changed everything.
Volcanus: Tell me, who are you exactly?
GoT: Isn't it obvious? I am the Goddess of Time. And last night, you have started someone else's journey. Someone that Time itself did not foresee.
Volcanus: What are you even talking about?
GoT: You are going to have a son, Volcanus. That woman you spent the night with, you got her pregnant with your child. And his journey will determine the fate of your old world and this one.
Volcanus: Hyrule and Termina? My son?
GoT: He is destined to be a great hero. But fate does not have the tools necessary for him in place.
Volcanus: So suppose I didn't procreate last night. What would have happened?
GoT: A doom so sudden and powerful that even I cannot stop it. Hyrule to be ruled under the oppression of an evil king, and Termina to be destroyed entirely by a looming lunar monstrosity.
Volcanus: And you mentioned he needed help?
GoT: Time has not made certain…accommodations for your son. You will have to aid him in your own time, so that in the future, he can succeed.
Volcanus: Hm. Why couldn't I just wait for him to be born and help him then?
GoT: I cannot see you alive in his future.
Volcanus: So I'm going to die?
GoT: Yes.
Volcanus: *looks at the ground with a painful expression* Do I get to see my son?
GoT: No.
Volcanus: *tears in his eyes* How will he know who I am!
GoT: Only time will decide. You must pave the way for his success. Your son will need your strength to prevail in his journey to save the worlds.
Volcanus: And how am I supposed to do that?
GoT: The temples in this world can house certain items that will aid your son. They have many traps and perils, and they will also be the source of curses that your son will break.
Volcanus: And what about the temples in Hyrule?
GoT: If the races of Hyrule manage not to destroy each other, they can each enter their own temples and place the items themselves. Time is short, and you may not even live to see Hyrule again.
Volcanus: …
GoT: He will never get past the dangers in them, unless you offer aid ahead of Time itself.
Volcanus: Yes. I understand what I must do. What are the items?
GoT: Take this bag *hands Volcanus a bag* It is full of the things he will need. In this world, there are four temples. In the swamps, you must leave behind a small bow. In the Mountains, an enchanted arrow that can melt ice. In the ocean, another enchanted arrow that can freeze water. In the Tower in the canyons, you must leave an arrow as bright as the stars.
Volcanus: Is that all?
GoT: There are certain…beings that do not belong in your old world. Dark Interlopers that are taking on the forms of others. Be vigilant.
Volcanus: And what if I need your assistance?
GoT: Take this, and when you have completed your quest, give it to the Royal Family of Hyrule. *hands Volcanus the Ocarina of Time*
Volcanus: *puts the Ocarina away* No help then. Fine.
GoT: Go now towards the Swamps. The guards wont remember you, I have fixed that.
(the screen flashes white and Volcanus is in Southern Clock Town)
Volcanus: To the swamps I guess.
*A man bursts out of the Clock Tower, pissed as hell, tearing off his arm and chest armor plates*
Prymus: I guess I'm not good enough for the Fighter's Association! Fine then! *walks up to Volcanus* who are YOU?
Volcanus: I'm leaving.
Prymus: Where are you headed? *tears off leg armor, revealing his badass pants*
Volcanus: The swamps.
Prymus: Mind if I join you? I'm not exactly welcome here again anytime soon…
Volcanus: If you don't mind temples and giant monsters that inevitably lurk within, then sure.
*they both walk out of Clock Town*
Scene Five: INT- GORON CITY (Zoras are coming in through the door, engaging in combat with the Gorons)
Vance: *uses spear as a pole-vault and throws himself feet-first into the chest of a Goron*
Battlemode:
Vance knocks the Goron back off of the path, causing the Goron to fall on a bomb flower and detonate it. He jumps down and repels toward the center of the room using his pike. He then jumps down from the center island to the bottom floor where a really big Goron blocks the way into Daron's chamber. He attempts to stab the Goron, but the biggun dodges and uppercuts Vance into the isle dangling in the middle of the ceiling. Vance falls back down to the ground, bleeding to death.
/battlemode
Big Goron: *steps aside as Daron approaches the dying Zora*
Daron: You are truly inferior. I will ease the pain of your insignificant existence. *swings the Megaton hammer down* (camera cuts to an outside, slowly zooming-out shot of Death Mountain. The familiar hammer sound is heard)
Scene Six: INT: A DARK ROOM, GANON'S LAIR (Ganondorf is sitting in his chair, thinking deeply)
Ganondorf: (/aside) So he found the entrance…Big deal. He probably hasn't learned…
*a ugly pig faced-ghost appears in front of him*
Ghost: You are wrong and you know it.
Ganondorf: Shut up Ganon!
Ganon: He has entered the other world and the entrance is closed. There is no way he has not learned of the… (hint of disgust) child.
Ganondorf: Can't you just tell me when he returns so I can go kill him?
Ganon: She, that infernal witch!- Has blocked my sights. It is as if there is nothing in the future. The fates! She must have relieved them…
Ganondorf: What does this mean?
Ganon: The time of fates is over. Nothing is written in stone anymore. I cannot see what we are to do. However, there is another side. The Goddess of Time cannot help the Outcast either.
Ganondorf: And what about the Dark Ones? They crawl in the shadows at night!
Ganon: Don't you mind them. Consider them our… Ace in the hole.
*evil laughter*
Scene Seven: EXT- TERMINA FIELD (Volcanus and Prymus are making their way towards the swamps)
Prymus: So why the swamps?
Volcanus: Convenient. Also, I have a promise to keep.
Prymus: O RLY?
Volcanus: Yes, really.
*they enter the beginning of the swamps, when the moon moves over the sun, casting shadow on the land*
Volcanus: Darkness? What is this?
Prymus: Ssh! I can hear them…Volcanus: Them?
Prymus: The birchmen…
(cue "Colony of Birchmen" by Mastodon. If you aren't sick of Mastodon by the time this series is over, I applaud you)
*a birchman appears from the thicket of trees and lunges and the two* (Birchmen are basically giant fucking tree-people that use branches to rip travelers to shreds)
Battlemode:
Prymus decks the birch man in the face, knocking a huge chunk of wood out of him. Volcanus draws his Master Buster and slices the Birchman in half. Multiple birchmen appear and the two heroes go back-to-back. They fend off birch man after birchmen, Volcanus cutting them this way and that, and Prymus unleashing a fury of Martial-Arts on the brutes. The birchmen fall back a bit, and the two charge. /battlemode
(the following lines are on-cue with the music)
Volcanus: Run!
Prymus: Run!
Volcanus: With!
Prymus: With!
Both: DEATH!
*Volcanus his sword out flat, behind his back, and Prymus jumps on top of it. Volcanus swings the sword forward, throwing Prymus through the air. Prymus shoots through the line of Birchmen so fast that they are set on fire. They die in a fire.*
Volcanus: Damn, that was intense.
Prymus: *gets out some sunglasses* I guess we were…*puts them on* too hot to handle.
Both: ! (gotta love CSI: Miami jokes)
(allow the rest of "Wont get fooled again" by The Who to play throughout the credits)
*cut to credits*
Episode Three:
Scene One: EXT - THE GREAT DEKU TREE'S GROTTO (Saria is still sitting on the grass in front of the GDT)
GDT: It seems the war has gotten worse since the Outcast has left our world.
Saria: What do you think he's doing Great Deku Tree?
GDT: I do not know, child. What I do know, is that an aspiring Zora warrior has been killed by Daron.
Saria: *gasp* Daron? But you said that Daron was a gentle Goron!
GDT: He has apparently changed though I cannot tell why. Wait…*grunt of pain*
Saria: What's happening?
*dark purple clouds swirl around at the entrance of the grotto. Enter the Dark Interlopers*
Dark Interloper 1: Surrender your power to us, the light of which you hide.
GDT: I have no such light.
Dark Interloper 2: *shoots a bolt of darkness at the GDT, causing apparent aging to occur* Tell us, or you will soon wilt.
GDT: *panting in pain* I have…no…such light…
*A bright light appears behind from the tunnel. From it steps Divinatio, now in Holy Armor*
Divinatio: Back you fiends! *draws his sword and runs his fingers across it, giving it a divine glow*
Dark Interloper 1: I'll handle this. *dashes at Divinatio, claws extending from his hands*
Battle Mode:
The Dark Interloper slashes at Divinatio who puts up his shield, which deflects the swipe. He shoves the Dark Interloper back and swings with his sword. The DI ducks and dashes swiftly to the right, shooting a beam of darkness at Divinatio. Divinatio gets hit and gets knocked back a bit. He shakes it off.
Divinatio: I can do that too.
Divinatio holds out his sword at the DI, charges up, and fires a white beam of energy at him, blowing his bitch ass into a bunch of tiny black squares that fly up into the sky.
/battle mode
Dark Interloper 2: Hmph. *dissipates*
Divinatio: *sheathes his sword* I apologize for invading your forest Great Deku Tree.
GDT: Ah it is nothing Holy Knight, for if you hadn't I would surely be gone.
Divinatio: You look older since we last met.
GDT: Those fiends you just saw, placed a curse on me. I have lost a significant amount of my years to it.
Divinatio: Damn them…
Scene Three: INT - THE HYLIAN KNIGHTS ROUND TABLE (Exodus is sitting at the head of the table, around the table are Knights. One seat is empty)
Exodus: So our ONE Holy Knight has left us? This is TREASON.
Knight: *mumbling* everything is treason to you…
Exodus: What was that?
Knight: nothing…
Exodus: *childishly smacks his goblet off of the table* We are getting slaughtered by Gorons and Zoras, and he's off hunting some Dark Beings from another dimension? Fool! There is no such thing as the interlopers!
*the Door to the room is blown apart by darkness*
Ganondorf: *walks in, followed by two Dark Interlopers* Oh I beg to differ.
Exodus: *draws his sword* Thief! Have at thee!
*the other guards attempt to get up and draw their blades but the Dark Interlopers make quick work of them*
Exodus: *jumps off the table in a jump-strike*
Ganondorf: *ducks, and as he flies over, kicks Exodus in the chest*
Exodus: *flies into a wall*
Ganondorf: (evil laugh)
Scene Four: EXT - ENTRANCE TO THE DEKU NUTS' PALACE (Volcanus and Prymus look up at the monstrous palace that lies before them)
Volcanus: What is it with you people and elaborate entrances?
Prymus: *shrugs*
(the two walk in and cross the bridge when they are confronted by two guards)
Deku Guard: What business brings you here?
Volcanus: *thinks for a second* I have a message to deliver to the Butler. It's from his son.
Deku Guard: *moves quickly* Right. In you go.
Prymus: *looks at Volcanus, surprised*
Volcanus: *nods forward and the proceed to the King's Chamber*
Deku King: It appears we have visitors! Look around you, it is not every day that a non-Deku sees this room
Volcanus: We are honored. I have a message for th-
Deku King: Yes, Yes! To my butler! Jeeves!
*the Deku butler appears*
Jeeves: Yez?
Deku King: This gentleman has a message for you.
Volcanus: Your son says 'Sorry, Goodbye Father' I don't know what he means by that.
Jeeves: *sad noise*
Prymus: Sorry to bring you bad news…
Jeeves: Ah *sniffle*. We all choose our own paths in life. Thank you for delivering the message. Is there anything I can do for you?
Deku King: Jeeves is my most favored servant, anything you want is yours.
Volcanus: I would like access to the Swamp Temple
Deku King: You mean Woodfall? I must warn you, a giant resides inside the temple as a guard. If you upset him, I cannot see you living through that affair.
Prymus: We won't upset anyone. I prooommmiseee *stupid smiley face*
Deku King: Very well then. Here is a map *hands them a map* Farewell wanderers.
Volcanus: Farewell Deku King.
Scene Furv: EXT - SOUTHERN SWAMP (Volcanus and Prymus are climbing up a wall with vines on it that leads to Woodfall)
Volcanus: Don't slip.
Prymus: *hauls ass up the wall and throws himself up onto the ledge* And they said I lack dexterity. *laugh*
Volcanus: *climbs on top of the ledge and brushes himself off* Let's continue.
*the two walk through the entrance to Woodfall and look around at the scenery (wooden stumps rising out of the water here and there, and a temple in the middle)*
Prymus: We're going in that, aren't we?
Volcanus: Yes we are.
*the walk up a path way into the temple*
Scene Six: INT - IMPA'S HOUSE (A dark room with Shiekah place around the room)
Impa: We should swear allegiance with the Hylians. I hear that they are trying to put a Monarchy into place.
Sayuri: So? With those Dark fiends and with the war going on, it's hard to believe that there will be anyone left to govern.
Impa: Nonsense. True enough, the Hylians will most likely perish, but with our help they may have a chance. We could take care of the Dark Ones.
Sayuri: But they have the Thief King leading them. How can we defeat them?
Impa: True, they do have Ganondorf as their Leader. However, something tells me that he won't be a problem?
Sayuri: Not a problem? We're talking about the damn King of Thieves!
Impa: You are forgetting about the Outcast.
Sayuri: And that's another thing! Why would we partner with those who cast out our only hope?
Impa: We are left without choice. We, and everyone, will die if we do not help the Hylians. Innocent people will burn, and you'd watch them burn because a certain ego freak sent the hero away from home?
Sayuri:…
Impa: Exactly. Tomorrow, we make journey to the Hylian Knights.
Scene Seven: EXT - CASTLETOWN MARKET (Ganondorf and the Dark Interlopers gathered at the gates)
Ganondorf: Listen you…Dark Interlopers… THIS, is our town now boys. The people here have no care for you or your talents! Make them burn in the streets!
*"Ninjas" jump down from the rooftops and surround the DI's and Ganondorf*
Impa: No. This is my town.
*Impa jumps at the DI in front of her and slashes it's throat open, spilling blood all over the sidewalk*
-huge fight ensues between the DI's and the Shiekah. Ganondorf slips away quietly into the night, toward the deserts.-
Scene Eight: INT - WOODFALL TEMPLE (Volcanus is setting the bow in the chest. He turns around and Prymus has his ear against the wall)
Volcanus: *places the bow inside of a chest* There. Now to get out of here.
Prymus: There's something moving around in the room next to us.
Volcanus: It couldn't have been easy could it? Let's take a look. *they exit the room and investigate. Upon arrival they hear the door opposite them shut. The room's water is now purple and poisonous*
Volcanus: Ungh! That smell! There's no way that we can swim in that.
Prymus: But what was that noise?
*cue the Odalowa warcry*
Volcanus: What the fuck? (there goes the "T" rating…)
Prymus: It came from the central chamber!
*the two run across a platform into the central chamber where they see Odalowa with his hand in the water, turning it into poison. Odalowa warcries again, and plows through the door. They chase him, but arrive in time to see him leap across the abyss and enter the Boss Chamber*
Volcanus: Still got that rope we used to traverse the first room?
Prymus: YUP. *hands Volcanus a bundle of rope*
Volcanus: *pulls out a series of poles. He assembles the Master Pike and ties the rope to one end*
Prymus: That is so badass.
Volcanus: *grunts and throws the pike across the pit. It stabs into the edge of the platform across the room*
Prymus: Tightrope? -
*they walk across the rope. Volcanus picks up the pike and rope and puts it away*
Prymus: Ready to kick some Boss ass?
Volcanus: Doing it live! *grabs the bottom of the door on one side. Prymus grabs the other. They heave it up and walk inside*
Battlemode:
Odalowa jumps down from the ceiling and warcries again. Volcanus draws the Master Buster and locks swords with Odalowa. Prymus runs around from behind and draws his fist back. "FALCONN…PAAWNCH!" he yells as he hurls his fist forward in a fiery fury. The punch connects with Odalowa's spine and the brute topples forward. Volcanus rolls back out of the way, just missing the painful death by crushing. Odalowa jumps back up and swings at Prymus, who slides under the sword and runs in-between Odalowa's legs. Volcanus swings at Odalowa who bats the swing away with his sword. Odalowa starts dancing, but Volcanus recovers and leaps through the air, delivering a diagonal slash to Odalowa's chest. Odalowa falls to his knees and Prymus roundhouse kicks him in the face. Odalowa gets up again and pounds the wall with his fist. Boulders start falling down like crazy. One of them falls on Prymus who catches it. He grunts as he tries to lift it off of him. He screams, and chucks the boulder who hits Odalowa right in the chest. Odalowa falls to his knees again. Seizing the opportunity, Volcanus runs towards him, jumps off of Odalowa's knee, and buries the Master Buster into the monster's face. He backflips off of the Boss, who stands up, face pouring blood with the sword still stuck in it. Odalowa drops his sword and falls flat on his face, pushing the sword up all the way through his head. His body dissolves and all that remains is a blood-drenched Master Buster and the Remains Mask of Odalowa.
/Battlemode
Volcanus: *picks up the Mask* We should leave this in here. I mean, the door is locked and everything.
* a blue light appears in the middle of the room*
Prymus: I think that's our way out. Let's leave.
*they walk into the portal and a blue light fills the screen. They appear at the entrance to the Southern Swamp*
Volcanus: One down. Three to go.
*cut to credits. Original piece preformed by Parathesia*
Episode Four: Mirrors
Scene One: EXT - CASTLE MARKET (The Shiekah and the remaining Hylian Knights are talking in the center of town. Corpses of interlopers are scattered about them)
Impa: We will join forces with you, and swear eternal allegiance to the throne of Hyrule, in exchange for living fees and housing.
Exodus: Oh please, we don't need you.
Impa: Oh really? It looked like you were being slaughtered before we showed up. Besides, we outnumber you. Just accept the deal and stop being such a prick.
Exodus: *grumbles and signs a deed set out on the edge of an empty fountain*
Impa: When will the King step in and end all of this?
Exodus: We have kept him hidden so that he would survive.
*Enter Link the first, from Minish Cap. Aged, very much so*
Link: My name is Link Hyrule, and I shall take back this Kingdom. I have saved it from turmoil with the help of my wizard friend Ezlo, and I believe that I can lead us through these tough times.
Impa: Where is Ezlo now?
Link: *turns around to reveal the back of his conical hat. On the back of the hat lies two eyes and a beak*
Ezlo: Not. One. Word.
Scene Two: EXT - FOOTHILLS OF SNOWHEAD (Volcanus and Prymus are fighting an uphill battle towards Snowhead)
Volcanus: Why did it have to be winter? UNGH
Prymus: FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU-
*Volcanus and Prymus collapse. A figure walks up next to them*
(cut to the inside of Goron Village. Darmani watches over the two as they slowly wake up)
Volcanus: Wha-
Prymus: Where are we?
Darmani: I found you unconscious in the snow. That's pretty brave of you two, but why were you trying to get to Snowhead?
Volcanus: *sits up* It's kinda complicated. Basically, I was charged with a quest by the Goddess of Time. I cannot indulge in the details, but I need to place this *takes out the fire arrow* in the temple for someone to recover in about a decade. I cannot fail.
Darmani: I'm sorry to disappoint you, but Snowhead is sacred. The guard will only let Gorons pass.
Volcanus: I understand, but I cannot fail. My son's life depends on it…
Darmani: *scratches his chin slowly* I will place that inside of Snowhead. There are two chambers in the Temple, one of which houses a dark, evil power. I shall put it in the other one.
Volcanus: Thank you Darmani. You have done a great thing for my son and your land.
Darmani: When you are ready, you may leave the Village. Come visit anytime.
Prymus: Will do. But do you guys have any food?
Darmani: Only the finest rocks around! Straight from Dodongo Cavern!
Prymus: NEVERMIND.
Scene Three: INT - SNOWHEAD TEMPLE (Darmani rolls across a platform and jumps across a chasm)
Darmani: There should be a secret exit in the next room. I have fulfilled my promise…
*Darmani opens the door to see a black swarm moving towards a mask sitting on a pedestal*
Darmani: NOOOOO!
*the giant blob goes into the mask and morphs into Goht*
Darmani: It resurrected Goht!
*Goht wails and takes off around the "track"*
Battlemode:
Darmani curls up and rolls after him, catching on fire while spikes extend from his body. He speeds up and flies off of a ramp into Goht's leg. The boss screams in pain and speeds up. Boulders fall from the ceiling, Darmani swerves around them. Goht stops and shoots lightning out of his forehead at Darmani. Darmani jumps off another ramp but gets hit with lightning in midair. He falls to the ground and shakes his head.
Darmani: This is going to go on forever. Musn't let Goht win.
A boulder falls down from the ceiling near Darmani.
Darmani: ARGH!
Goht comes around the corner, speeding at him. Darmani tries to get up. Just before Goht collides into him, a pike sails through the air and hits Goht in the hind leg. Goht trips and falls, flying over Darmani. Darmani looks over and sees Volcanus and Prymus. Prymus flashes him the "thumbs-up" symbol. Darmani walks over to a wall, just as Goht starts to get up. Darmani punches the wall and a ton of boulders fall from the ceiling around Goht, encasing him. Volcanus grabs the Ice Arrow and stabs it into Goht, freezing the Boss in a crystal of ice.
/Battlemode
Volcanus: Kept you waiting, huh?
Darmani: If you hadn't shown up, I'd be dead. However, I don't think the other Gorons will be too happy about this. You should probably leave the Mountains as soon as possible.
Volcanus: Goodbye Darmani.
*the two heroes walk away, leaving Darmani in front of the crystallized monster*
Scene Four - INT - HYRULE CASTLE KING'S QUARTERS (Link Hyrule is sitting at the end of the Knight's table. Impa, Exodus, and a couple of Priests surround him)
Link: So tell me Exodus, why have you driven my son away from these lands?
Exodus: (nervous) I…he! He refused to fight!
Link: Not only have you gotten rid of the most efficient soldier in battle, but I have no clue as to the whereabouts of the HEIR of Hyrule is. He might be dead, and in that case, you have damned us all.
Exodus: *sinks into his chair in shame*
*At this point, the door flies open and in comes Divinatio, out of breath*
Link: Divinatio! The Holy Knight, please sit and breathe. We'd rather you not die of exhaustion.
Divinatio: *breathing hard* I have spoken to the Great Deku Tree. And with someone else.
Link: Whom?
Divinatio: I was visited by the Goddess of Time herself!
*the whole room gives him the O_O face*
Impa: The Goddess of Time? What did she tell you?
Divinatio: Volcanus is alive, but he is stuck in a minor predicament.
Link: What ails my son?
Divinatio: A prophecy. That was all she would tell me. He is on some sort of grand Quest, and is currently stuck in another land. He won't be able to leave that place until his quest there is finished. He also needs the cooperation of the races here in Hyrule.
Link: I would like to see the Kingdom united. Send messengers to the Zoras and Gorons, for if a Goddess herself has visited us, that prophecy surely must have some importance.
Exodus: Divinatio, when exactly did a lowly priest like you become a Holy Knight?
Divinatio: I was once THE Holy Knight of Hyrule, the one you have read about in books and heard in stories of old. My place on the battlefield eventually become something that was no longer needed, so I hung up my armor and became a priest. After the fight at the gates with the Gorons, I decided I was needed once more.
Link: Exodus, you are walking on thin ice. Be aware of this.
Exodus: Whatever then! I shall not associate myself with the likes of you fools!
*Exodus storms off like a bitch out into Hyrule Field*
Exodus: Stupid Link…stupid priests… They don't recognize my talent and potential.
*a dark cloud swirls on the ground and Exodus turns to see it. He draws his sword*
Exodus: Interlopers! Your demise shall be swift.
*Ganondorf and two Dark Interlopers appear from the mass*
Ganondorf: Put that away, you stand no chance.
Exodus: What do you want Thief?
Ganondorf: So the Kingdom of Hyrule has no place for Military Talent I see…
Exodus: Your silver tongue can't persuade me.
Ganondorf: That is rather disappointing. It's a shame that the power of the Dark Interlopers will remain in my control. So much power, and I just wanted to share it…
Exodus: Power?
Ganondorf: The power to command the Interlopers! Absolute Darkness! All you have to do is bow to me, and I shall make you a Knight of Evil. The Knight of Darkness!
Exodus: *sheathes his sword, and bows to Ganondorf*
Ganondorf: *evil laugh*
*Ganondorf holds out his hands and pours a dark cloud over Exodus who is engulfed in the darkness. The cloud fades and Exodus's armor has turned shiny black,. He now has a black cape with a violet inter-lining. Exodus now has the same dark skin as Ganondorf, complete with orange irises*
Ganondorf: Rise Evil Knight. Your soldiers await your command.
Exodus: *rises up and looks at the Castle* Soon, we shall strike. They stand no chance with their current numbers. We must plan. Take us to your base of Operations, my King.
Ganondorf: With pleasure *snaps his fingers, a dark cloud appears on the ground that sucks them all in*
Scene Five - INT - THE STOCK POT INN (Helena is throwing up in a toilet, visably pregnant)
*A child walks into the hallway.*
Young Anju: Helena, are you sick?
Helena: I'm okay. It's the baby, that's all. *pats Anju on the head*
Young Anju: *rubs Helena's belly* He's going to be someone special someday isn't he?
Helena: I'm not sure. But I'm sure you two will meet. I'll bring him here to visit!
Young Anju: Wait, does this mean you're leaving?
Helena: Not right now child. But when *points at stomach* his father is done with his errands here, I'll be returning to Hyrule with him.
Young Anju: What's Hyrule?
Helena: It's where I'm from. It's a land far away, not unlike Termina.
Young Anju: I wanna go!
Helena: *laughs* Oh no, your mother would kill me!
*they both share a laugh, despite Helena's sense of doom creeping up her spine*
Scene Six: EXT - TERMINA FIELD (Volcanus and Prymus stand below a Mushroom-like structure fighting off Dodongos)
Volcanus: How do we keep getting into situations like this! *chucks a bomb into a Dodongo's mouth*
Prymus: Fuck it! *jumps into the air and slams his fist down onto the Dodongo previously mentioned, forcing it's mouth shut down onto the bomb. Prymus jumps back as the beast explodes* *they begin walking towards Great Bay*
Volcanus: It's been months and that damn Bay hasn't cleared up one bit!
Prymus: Fuck it, we're doing this live.
Volcanus: What exactly do you mean by that?
Prymus: We're gonna split our lungs with Blood and Thunder, that's what.
Volcanus: No.
*cut to Volcanus and Prymus standing in front of a raft*
Prymus: GENTLEMEN! BEHOLD!
Volcanus: I am the only one here, how can that be plur-
Prymus: MY LATEST CREATION!
Volcanus: It's a fucking raft. *face palms*
Prymus: Not a FUCKING raft, it's an EPIC raft.
Volcanus: We're riding that to the temple aren't we?
Prymus: Yes.
*cue the portion of "Blood and Thunder" by Mastodon that starts with "SPLIT YOUR LUNGS WITH BLOOD AND THUNDAH, WHEN YOU SEE THE WHITE WHALE"*
*the two are out at sea epically sailing through a storm*
Prymus: *singing along with Mastodon*
Volcanus: I feel like some amazing band is narrating our lives.
Prymus: BREAK YOUR BACK AND CRACK YOUR OARS, MEN
Volcanus: IF YOU WISH TO PREVAIL
Prymus: THIS IVORY LEG IS WHAT PROPELS ME
Volcanus: HARPOONS THRUST IN THE SKY
Prymus: AIM DIRECTLY FOR HIS CROOKED BROW
Volcanus: AND LOOK HIM STRAIGHT IN THE EYEE!
Both of them: WHITE! WHALE! HOLY! GRAAAILL!
*they sail into the temple and complete silence ensues. They disembark the raft and high five each other*
Scene Seven - EXT - DEATH MOUNTAIN MOUNTAIN TOP (The King of Hyrule stands before Daron and Darunia)
King Link: I'm urging you Daron, we know for a fact that all of Hyrule has been fooled! The Goddesses are not who you think they are.
Daron: You heretic!
King Link: The Dark Interlopers posed as Goddesses to get Hyrule to go into civil war! Can't you see that?
Daron: And you have proof?
King Link: The Holy Knight saw one posing as Farore herself! It's all an illusion!
Daron: The transgressions committed by the Zora shall continue to be punished! We may not attack the Hylians, but we will never align with those puny fish!
*Daron's eyes glow yellow and his shadow disappears*
King Link: Darunia, get back. He's possessed! *reaches for his sword as Daron punches him in the chest, knocking him back several feet. The King slides on his feet, not falling down. He shrugs off his royal cloak, revealing a golden chain mail tunic*
Fair Enough. You don't want to talk. *unsheathes a royally badass broadsword*
Battlemode:
King Link and Daron circle each other epically. The King holds his Broadsword and charges at Daron, delivering a mighty slash across his chest. Daron bounds back and retaliates with an uppercut. King Link sidesteps the uppercut and hacks at Daron, who blocks a series of hacks with alternating arms. Daron throws up his dukes and the King kicks him square in the gut. Daron drops his arms and the King punches him in the face. Daron yells in anger and curls into a ball. He then starts peeling out as re revs up for a roll-attack. The King at this time climbs up to a small jut in the Mountain and waits for the roll-attack to commence. As Daron is about to pass by underneath, the King jumps down and jump-attacks Daron with a mighty "HYAAAAHHH!"
Daron gets up and grabs the King around the neck. As he raises the King in the air, choking the life out of him, Link's hat springs to life. Ezlo bites Daron in the face who drops the King. King Link catches himself and lands, crouching. With a mighty swoop, he gashes Daron's legs open. The Goron drops to his knees and the Dark Interloper speaks through him "YOU CAN'T EXPEL ME. I'LL TAKE HIS BODY WITH ME!" The King then decapitates Daron. /battlemode
Darunia: It had to be done. There was no other choice.
King Link: I have never gotten used to it. Killing, you know. 'S why I gave up adventuring after I saved Hyrule and became king.
Darunia: I will need to talk over all of this with my brothers. In the mean time, all attacks on Hylians will cease.
King Link: Send word as soon as you have an answer.
Scene Eight - EXT - ZORA'S DOMAIN (Divinatio stands before King Zora and his advisors)
King Zora: You're telling me that I should swear peace to a race that has killed many of my top soldiers? They blocked our dams and tried to eradicate us entirely.
Divinatio: You must understand, they were fooled! Tricked. Like you.
King Zora: We have already disposed of the false Nayru, for your information.
Divinatio: That's wonderful news, but please consider that the fate of more than your Domain is at stake here. The fate of the entire world is. If we do not all join forces against these harbingers of darkness, we are sure to crumble.
*a Zora advisor whispers in King Zora's ear. He then sinks back away*
King Zora: My advisor informs me of a man named Volcanus. This man apparently requires our assistance?
Divinatio: I do know that every race in this land holds a precious treasure. My divine connections tell me that each of the races is to take these sacred treasures and secure them in the seven temples.
King Zora: Our Longshot? Why would we give up an item like that?
Divinatio: You fought against me and the Gorons because the "Goddesses" willed it, but when a real Goddess wills that a man's son must complete a quest to save the word that needs your item, you find yourself struggling to oblige?
King Zora: Touché.
Scene Nine - EXT - GERUDO DESERT IN FRONT OF SPIRIT TEMPLE (Ganondorf is sitting on the ground in front of the temple arguing with himself)
Ganondorf: My plan will work! You'll see!
Ganon: Not a chance you fool! They shall expose us and all hope of obtaining the sacred Triangles will be lost!
Ganondorf: Shut up Ganon! With Exodus leading the Dark Interlopers, no one will suspect me as the perpetrator. Even if the Hylians pull through this, I will be of little threat to them. In their eyes, anyway.
Ganon: You think the Hylians will win? Hah!
Ganondorf: Regardless. I WILL obtain the Triforce. One way or another. World domination will be mine!
*Kaepora Gaebora flies overhead. The owl then drops a bee's nest near Ganondorf. The next explodes and bees fly out, swarming on Ganondorf like the Young-Ocelot [MGS3] reference that he is*
Ganondorf: SON OF A BITCH!
*credits roll*
Episode Five: Leviathan
Scene One - INT - GREAT BAY BOSS LAIR (A giant Whale/Fish/Leviathan thing [LeviGyorg] is swimming around a HUGE body of water. The two warriors stand atop a island in the middle of this huge body)
Prymus: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?
Volcanus: I'm going to go Ahab all over that thing. *pulls out the components for the Master Pike and starts assembling them rather quickly* Hey Prymus…
Prymus: Yeah?
Volcanus: Got any bright ideas on how to fight this thing? *LeviGyorg slams into the island, nearly knocking them over*
Prymus: Remember when we were singing earlier?
Volcanus: *clicks the last pieces into place* Yeah!
Prymus: Aim directly for his crooked brow.
Volcanus: *looks at LeviGyorg as the boss charges towards the island. Volcanus throws the Pike which has the rope attached to his belt* OH SHI- *is dragged under by the boss*
Prymus: SHIT PISS FUCK
Battlemode:
LeviGyorg jumps out of the water and Volcanus audibly gasps for air. The fish goes under again and Volcanus unsheathes his sword. Still underwater, he stabs LeviGyorg in the eye a few times. The rope looses from the Pike a little from LeviGyorg's thrashing, and Volcanus is able to swim to the surface and breathe. Prymus dives into the water and grabs onto the Boss as it starts swimming. Prymus climbs toward it's side and punches 'Gyorg in the not-injured eye. The fish shakes him off. Volcanus and Prymus haul ass to the island in the center. LeviGyorg swims in circles around them, making a huge whirlpool. Volcanus sees this and readies his sword in front of him. He leaps through the air and stabs the Boss in the top of the spine, stopping the fish dead in it's tracks. Gyorg gives one last heave and dissolves into the water. Volcanus swims back to the island and enters the light with Prymus. /battlemode
Scene Two – EXT – KAKIKARO VILLAGE (Exodus and his small army of Interlopers stand at the entrance of town. Opposite them are all of the Shiekah, the Holy Knight, and two Hylian Knights. [one of which has a helmet])
Exodus: Surrender, you have no chance against me with my new powers.
Divinatio: Light shall always come before darkness. You will not succeed.
Exodus: Oh now I beg to differ.
Battlemode:
Exodus charges up a beam of darkness and fires it, causing the good guys to break ranks and split. The beam misses them all, but the Interlopers pour into town, and the fight begins. Sheikahs and Knights battle Interlopers one-on-one. Exodus makes his way to the graveyard with Divinatio following him.
Exodus runs into the Graveyard and puts up a force field at the entrance. /battlemode
Divinatio is powerless to get through, and Exodus laughs at him.
Exodus: For you see, this is not a mission of conquest. It is time to raise the fallen. *Exodus raises his arms to the sky and yells epically. Beams of dark purple color burst from the graves and zombies rise up from them.
Divinatio: Zombies?
Exodus: Oh yes. Zombies. No Flash animation is complete without them! (Fuck the fourth wall, I do what I want!)
Divinatio: WAT
*the forcefield drops and the Zombies march onward*
Divinatio: Must warn the others. *he runs back into town and yells "ZOMBIES!". This causes everyone, literally everyone, to flee the town. Interlopers drop down into their dark portal-puddles, Villagers and Shiekah flee. Two Hylian Knights and Divinatio remain*
Divnatio: Let's see if we can shorten their numbers! Bottleneck them at the Entrance! *they move toward the entrance, the zombie army approaching*
Battlemode:
Blah blah blah they fight zombies. This continues for a time. The Knight wearing a helmet gets his shit wrecked. Divinatio and the other Knight leave after this.
Scene Three - EXT - TERMINA FIELD NIGHT (Volcanus and Prymus are walking through the field towards town)
Volcanus: *falls down on his knees and starts coughing and hacking*
Prymus: Are you alright?
Volcanus: *cough* Yeah. I'm fine. *cough*
Prymus: I don't think you are. I think you're hiding something.
Volcanus: I'm in my forties Prymus, and I've got something inside me that's killing me.
Prymus: Cancer?
Volcanus: Yeah. Even if we succeed, I'll still probably die.
Prymus: Maybe we can find a cure or…
Volcanus: Look, don't bother. I'm not worth it. I'm no hero. Never was, never will be. I can only hope that my son becomes twice the man I ever was.
Prymus: Don't say that…
Volcanus: What?
Prymus: Nevermind…
Volcanus: *hacks and coughs* HNNNG *collapses* (scene fades out)
Scene Four - EXT - ZORA HALL (Volcanus is lying on a bed, surrounded by Zora doctors and Prymus. Helena is right beside him, and is due rather soon)
Volcanus: I can't give up. I have to complete my quest.
Zora Doctor: You won't live another month. Why not spend the rest of your time with your lover?
Volcanus: Because… I just can't give up. This will be my last quest, I accept that. But there is no other option.
Helena: The Kingdom of Ikana has been invading Stone Tower. One of our best soldiers has brought them the Sacred Light and instructed them on where to place it. Your job here is done.
Volcanus: But that's only half of it. *starts getting out of bed* I'm not done yet. Hyrule needs to keep it's end of the bargain and I have to help…
Helena: I can't go… *looks down at visible preggers belly*
Volcanus: If I fail, he'll fail. I mustn't let that happen. Cancer be damned… *starts putting on armor*
6 HOURS LATER
Volcanus: Remember. Leave for Hyrule tomorrow. Before dawn.
Helena: *nods*
*Volcanus and Prymus walk away into the forest*
Scene Five - EXT - HYRULE CASTLE (All of the races are gathered around a huge table. King Link is making a speech)
King Link: My son has been fighting in another land for a son who he'll never meet. We've been sitting around bickering and being fooled, and he is selflessly putting his life in constant danger for the sake of his son, and our worlds. That's right, if he does not complete his quest, the fate of our world could be in jeopardy. I ask all of you to put aside any disputes and feuds you have. We need to band together to take down these Dark Interlopers, once and for all.
Darunia: Enough feud! Let's drive them from our dimension altogether!
*chorus of cheers*
King Link: As everyone is aware, every person in this room is a leading figure of a race of Hyrule. Each of you posses a item which happens to be of value to your race. A certain Goddess of Time asks that you hide these items in the temples of this land.
Desert Representative: But why would we do that? We've been fooled before.
King: This is a real Goddess, and I'm not sure about you but I'd rather not anger a deity with the power to bend time. She asks that you take these items and hide them. According to prophecy, a hero will arise and save our world, using them. His strength and courage is tested by the trials he must endure to acquire these items. Just do it.
Zora Rep: We the Zora shall comply.
Divinatio: On behalf of the Kokiri, we comply.
Darunia: The Gorons do so comply.
Impa: Comply.
Desert Rep: We shall comply.
Scene Six - EXT - HYRULE FIELD (Exodus and his army of zombies and Interlopers stand before him. The sky is dark)
Exodus: Soon, we shall storm the castle and kill every last one of those who DARE oppose us!
Dark Army: *war cries of various natures*
Exodus: And Volcanus won't be here to lift a damn finger! HA.
*credits roll*
Episode Six: This is the part where they die
Scene One - EXT - HYRLUE FIELD
Volcanus: *approaching the castle* You hear that Prymus? The screams?
*they run atop a hill and see intense warfare. In front of the castle, the races have banded together and are battling the evil forces.
Prymus: Holy ass balls…
*scene changes to Divinatio facing off against Exodus*
Exodus: You won't win Holy Knight!
Divinatio: *dons helmet* We shall see about that, traitor.
(cue "The Last Baron" by Mastodon)*Divinatio and Exodus are fighting epically. Volcanus and Prymus are hauling ass towards them, but Exodus catches Divinatio off guard and cuts his chest open, a fatal wound. Divinatio hits the ground, and dissolves into squares of white light that thrust up into the sky. Prymus sees this and leaps through the air, attempting to punch Exodus in the face. Exodus grabs his fist and throws him. Prymus hits the ground next to Volcanus who continues walking toward Exodus. (Lyrics on cue: "We can set the world ablaze") A ring of fire pops up around the two*
Exodus: After I finish you, I'm going to kill your friend. Then your father. Then your wife and your child.
Volcanus: You will do no such thing. Prepare to die, maggot.
Battlemode:
(Filler battle content of epic proportions all the way up until about 7:00 into "The Last Baron") Exodus throws an energy ball at Volcanus who gets stunned. Exodus knocks Volcanus down with a nasty spear-butt. Volcanus drops, but swoop-kicks Exodus who gets knocked onto his back. Volcanus leaps up, and in mid-air, points the Master Buster down. He brings the sword down onto Exodus's torso, but right as he does this, Exodus grabs his Trident and impales Volcanus on it. (song begins it's repeat of the intro, at about 11:15 or so) Volcanus shoves himself further onto the Trident so he can shove the Master Buster deeper into Exodus. Exodus coughs up a ton of blood and dies. Volcanus, now so far onto the Trident that his feet are firmly planted on the ground, shoves with all his might, throwing himself off of the Trident and onto his back a few yards away. The fire dies down. /battlemode
Prymus: *recovered, now runs over to Volcanus and drops to his knees* You've killed him...
*King Link runs up and drops next to his dying son*
King Link: My son… (tears in eyes)
*everyone is sobbing*
Volcanus: My son... cannot see my grave. If he does, he may seek revenge instead of saving this world and the next. Prymus, good friend, bury me in an un-marked grave in Termina. Make sure his mother is okay... *dies*
Prymus: *bows head and cries audibly*
Scene Two - EXT - LOST WOODS (Helena galloping on horse, looking stressed and worried. In her lap and left hand, a baby wrapped in a bundle is cradled)
Ganondorf: The Hero shall not be born. *draws string on bow*
Helena: *still galloping on horse* *an audible wail comes from the bundle* Shhh Link. Shhh.
Ganondorf: *releases arrow* *The arrow hits Helena right in the back, but does not go through her body, as she is from quite a distance from Ganondorf. He draws back and shoots her several more times. He then slips away into a portal*
Helena: *breaks through the foliage and falls off her horse right outside the Forest. Kokiri children come to investigate*
Helena: *coughing up blood* Take…my child. He…m-must live.
Kokiri boy: Saria, go ask the Great Deku Tree.
*scene changes to Saria talking to the Great Deku Tree*
Saria: The boy. She wants us to keep him safe and raise him.
GDT: I sense great importance in the child. His fate is tied with two worlds. We must take him in. Let him grow up with the Kokiri, and when the time is right, all will be revealed to him.
*scene changes to Saria cradling Helena in her arms*
Saria: He'll be safe with us. I promise.
Helena: I can see him. I'm going to see him now.
Saria: See who?
Helena: The father of my child. He who faced the Fire of the Gods and triumphed. *dies*
*credits roll*
EPILOGUE
Narrarator: The races won the battle on the day of Volcanus's death. The Dark Interlopers were locked in another dimension by the Light Spirits of Hyrule.
The races kept their promises, and planted the items in all of the temples of Hyrule. Link grew up to become the Hero of Time, and using those items, he defeated the murderer of his mother and the cause of his father's death, Gannondorf. Of course, he had no idea that Gannondorf had done all of these things. An unfortunate side-effect of being raised in the Forest. Poor kid was cut off from the world and never learned of his parents' true fate.
But what became of Prymus? After burying Volcanus in Termina, he disappeared from both worlds. No one knows for sure what became of him. Did he die? Or did he go somewhere else and start a new life?
We'll never know for sure.
*fade into final credits*
