Title: The Only One There Ever Was

Rating: M

Characters: Sebastian Smythe, Nick Warbler, OCs

Summary: There was only one time. Only one attempt to tear us apart forever. But it was the most horrible feeling and it still haunts me. But there was also only ever one love of his life. Only one person that he shared everything with. That he fought to look after. This is the story of how I found that out. Warnings inside. Part of Second Chance.

Warnings: Really super triggery talk and description of depression, self-harm and suicide. Medical squick. Will tailor warnings to each chapter where applicable but I'm not being nice this time. Really using this to cope with stuff at the moment so I'm just unleashing everything in my arsenal.

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or these wonderful characters.

A/N: I've put the prologue at the start of chapter 1 because the prologue isn't really long enough to constitute putting in an extra chapter. Thank you :)

THE ONLY ONE THERE EVER WAS

Prologue:

There was only one time. Only one attempt to tear us apart forever. But it was the most horrible feeling and it still haunts me.

But there was also only ever one love of his life. Only one person that he shared everything with. That he fought to look after.

This is the story of how I found that out.

Chapter 1:

Nick struggled to key in the digits for Sebastian's home phone as he cried into his free hand. He was hunched over in one of the chairs in the emergency waiting room and had finally given up trying to get information out of the nurses and doctors regarding Sebastian's condition. When Annabelle answered the phone, he only cried harder.

"Hello? Hello? Who's there? Is everything alright?"

"A-Annabelle – fuck, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to – I didn't want to leave him – I didn't think he'd do it! I'm so fucking sorry!"

"Nick? Nick, is that you? What's happened? Where are you?"

"I'm at – at the hospital. He was barely there when I found him. I called the ambulance and – there was so much blood and I kept standing on pills – they won't tell me anything!"

"Okay honey, you need to calm down. Can you take some deep breaths? You've done so well to get this far, sweetie. Is there someone you can call to be with you?"

Nick breathed long and deep as he tried to think of who he could call. He and Sebastian had a few friends in Chicago but none that they felt comfortable sharing their deepest secret with and certainly none that he wanted to see right now.

"Nick, are you still there?"

"Y-Yeah – there's no one I can really call. I'd have to explain everything to any of our friends and I just – I just can't do that right now."

"That's okay, totally understandable. Marcus and I will try to get ourselves up there by morning – do you know which hospital you're at?"

"N-No, I'll find out and text you."

"Okay, do you want me to stay on the line?"

"N-No, you can go."

"Okay. If you need to talk, just call, don't feel like you're being intrusive or anything. See if you can get some food and water into your system and try to relax. He'll be fine."

"Thank you, Annabelle."

"It's no problem. And Nick? You are being so brave right now. It takes a lot of strength to explain to someone what's just happened. Thank you so much."

"T-Thank you," Nick replied before he muttered a quick goodbye and hung up. He held his head in his hands and tried to figure out what to do now. What was he supposed to do now? Sit and cry? Find something to eat? Stare at a wall? How could they expect him to sit around and wait while his boyfriend lay somewhere possibly dying. Or already dead.

That thought sickened Nick to his core and before he knew what was happening, he'd thrown up all over the linoleum floor. Two nurses were at his side in an instant, pulling him to his feet and leading him through a set of double doors to the emergency room. Through teary eyes, he saw the walls lined with beds, some occupied, others empty and wondered where Sebastian was before he started crying again.

"Honey, can you tell us your name?" the blonde nurse at his right said as she helped him onto the bed. The other nurse was pulling off his shoes before she disappeared.

He managed to croak out a response and wipe his mouth with the back of his hand. His throat was on fire and his mouth tasted awful but his tears kept him swallowing as his breath hitched.

"Okay Nick, can you tell us what's wrong? Are you sick or what's happened?"

"M-My boyfriend tried to kill himself, killed himself, I don't know! I don't know what's happening!"

"Okay, try and take some deep breaths for me, you've worked yourself up worrying. When Nadia comes back I'll get her to help you clean up and see if I can find out some information. What's your boyfriend's name?"

"S-Sebastian, Sebastian Smythe."

The nurse nodded before she carefully rubbed Nick's back, watching him closely until Nadia came back. Nick pretended not to hear her whispering about him when she did.

"The kid's boyfriend tried to kill himself. Clean him up, I'm going to try and figure out what's going on. I'm sick of them not sharing this information and me having to clean vomit off my emergency room floor."

Nadia nodded before she looked to Nick with a soft smile. "It's gonna be okay, sweetie. We'll get you cleaned up and find out what's going on."

"N-Nadia right?" he managed as she dipped a cloth in a bucket of warm, soapy water and wiped it over his chin.

"Yeah, I didn't catch your name before."

"Nick," he answered, trying to smile and failing miserably.

"It's gonna be fine, Nick. And I'm sorry about Marina; she's pulling a double shift and hasn't had coffee in three hours."

"Yeah, Seb's like that sometimes."

"Yeah? How long have you two been together?"

"A year last month."

"That's wonderful! My boyfriend's taking me out for dinner next week for our six month anniversary."

"Congratulations," Nick said with a more successful attempt at a smile.

"Thank you," Nadia stepped back slightly before she let the cloth slip into the bucket. "Do you want me to get you some water to rinse with?"

"Yes please."

"We'll just wait for Marina to get back."

Nick felt like he was being babysat but he didn't complain, he knew it wouldn't get him anywhere. They didn't have to wait long for the other nurse though; she stormed back with a glare that could melt the polar icecaps in five seconds flat.

"No visitors for three days."

"That was going to be kind of obvious," Nadia murmured. "But do we have any news?"

"Please say that he's going to be okay," Nick almost begged, looking between the nurses with wide eyes.

"They've pumped his stomach – he swallowed about half a canister of his anti-depressants. They're trying to stitch his arms up but they're struggling – if they manage that, they'll line his stomach with charcoal and then he should be right," Marina answered.

"'If they manage that?' You mean there's still a chance he could – could-" Nick didn't finish the question, it hurt too much.

Nadia's hand was on his back again, smoothing small circles across the plane. "They'll do everything they can, but sometimes with all the blood they get stuck. They can't see to stitch him up because of the blood but the blood won't stop coming until they stitch him up. It's not as easy as we'd like to hope it is."

Nick nodded swallowed and nodded numbly.

"We can let you try to relax in here for a little while, Nick, but you will have to go home eventually. Is there someone who can come and be with you?"

"N-No… I called Sebastian's parents and they're on their way from Ohio but they won't be here 'til morning."

"There's no friends you could crash with for the night?"

Nick knew that Nina and Jake lived not too far from a hospital and he thought he'd recognised where they were when he'd climbed out of the ambulance.

"There might be someone; I'll need to call them, though."

"Well, we'll leave you to do that. If they don't know about Sebastian's situation though, I wouldn't mention it, just to keep his confidentiality," Marina said before she and Nadia disappeared around a corner.

Nick took out his phone again, flicking through his contacts until he found Jake's number. He hit "call" and held the phone to his ear, rubbing his face as he waited for his friend to pick up.

"Nick? … Dude, it's two in the morning. What is it?"

"Seb and I, we uh, had a fight… I locked myself out – can I crash at yours tonight?"

"Sure, sure. How long will you be?"

"Not sure, at least fifteen minutes, probably."

"Okay. Keep safe, alright?"

"Sure, thanks Jake."

"No problem. See you soon."

Nick hung up before he climbed off the bed, looked down at his bloodied hoodie and sighed before he shrugged out of it. He'd throw it out somewhere – of course that would be suspicious, he'd ask the nurses. He headed back out to the foyer, finding Marina and Nadia at the triage desk.

"I'm going to my friend's for the night, I'll come back in the morning with Seb's parents," he explained quickly before he held up his hoodie. "What do I do about this though? I can't really take it with me and it's kind of wrecked anyway."

"We can get rid of it," Nadia answered, taking it with a gloved hand. "Have we got your number in case anything happens?"

Nick shook his head and recited it for them to note down before he headed out into the night.

A/N: So this will be another multi-chapter fic. I'll probably be posting pretty rapidly as I did with "Weekend at the Smythe's" so keep an eye out. Thank you for reading Frank xoxo