Madara's Dramatic Exit

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

Note: It IS fun to write characters that don't have well-defined personalities so I'm going to do another one.

"Why are we doing this again?" Senju Tobirama asked as he and his brother made their way towards the newly settled Uchiha district.

"Because I don't think that Madara is taking the news of my becoming Hokage very well," Senju Hashirama explained patiently for the fifth time since they set out.

"What makes you think that?" Tobirama asked.

"He was half-way through his acceptance speech before he'd realized I'd won," Hashirama pointed out.

"It was a nice speech though," Tobirama noted. "Very dramatic."

"He does have a bit of a flair for that, doesn't he?" Hashirama agreed. "But once he realized he'd lost, the rest of his speech was very…angry-sounding."

"Once he realized he lost, why in the world did he finish the speech?" Tobirama wanted to know.

Hashirama shrugged. "He's a perfectionist and loves the attention. He couldn't not finish it."

Tobirama nodded. "True. It was kind of weird though how he went from walking on air to homicidal in the fifteen minutes it took him to realize what had happened."

"I thought Izuna would have warned him that there was a possibility he might not win," Hashirama commented.

"He probably did," Tobirama said dismissively. "Like Madara would listen."

"You're probably right," Hashirama decided. "And I think Madara threw in a few more references to me founding an entire village for the sole purpose of crushing the Uchiha and they were playing right into my hands after he understood that I won."

"That sounds like something I would to," Tobirama said. He paused. "Well, try to, anyway. You would never let me…"

"I'm sorry for having the maturity I would expect from any self-respecting twelve-year-old," Hashirama deadpanned.

"I forgive you," Tobirama said magnanimously. "You can't help it if you're no fun."

Hashirama snorted. "Not growing up with you, I can't…"

"I've got to say, even though I am not looking forward to all the paperwork I'll have to do after you die, the outfit just might make it worth it," Tobirama said suddenly, stopping to examine the brand new Official Hokage Outfit his brother was wearing.

"Yeah, Izuna did a nice job with that, didn't he?" Hashirama agreed. "You kind of have to wonder how he managed that since he has no eyes, but…"

"Best not to go there," Tobirama nodded. "I still don't get why you wouldn't let me bring my apprentices. If they are going to be charged with governing Konoha – oh, one of these days you've got to stop twitching every time anyone says the name of our village."

"I'm working on it," Hashirama said defensively. "But you really shouldn't be surprised since last month you and Madara chose the name for the sole purpose of annoying me and Izuna didn't care so he went along with it."

"When we hand down the history of Konoha's founding, let's leave that part out," Tobirama said, looking surprisingly serious.

"That's the first sensible thing you've said all week," Hashirama remarked.

"It's only been a week since the last time I said something sensible?" Tobirama asked in mock horror. "I must be slipping."

"Indeed. And as to your question about why I made you leave Hiruzen, Koharu, and Homura behind…" Hashirama trailed off. "Well, as you are no doubt aware this is a VERY delicate situation and the last thing we need is for you to make an ill-timed reference to the Uchiha being evil."

"I know better than to do that right now!" Tobirama insisted, affronted.

"Maybe," Hashirama conceded. "But your students are bound to ask you about whatever new Uchiha conspiracy they've either heard or invented and intend to spread around. God knows that when they do, you can't help but agree and often encourage them."

"I don't want to stifle their creativity," Tobirama said innocently.

Hashirama rolled his eyes. "I'm sure that's exactly it. I swear, sometimes I wonder where our parents went wrong with you…"

"Only sometimes?"

"The rest of the time I realize that I'm probably better off not knowing," Hashirama explained. "And that's why your students couldn't come."

"Hokage-sama! Tobirama-sama!" a small boy cried out as he leapt in the Senju brothers' path.

"Do we know you?" Tobirama asked, eyeing the young boy idly.

"Danzo, what can we do for you?" Hashirama asked politely.

"Are you REALLY going to the Uchiha Compound?" Danzo asked, his eyes wide.

"Where'd you hear that?" Hashirama asked, avoiding the question.

"Koharu and Homura told me," Danzo replied. "They said Uchiha Madara was going to sacrifice you to bring back his brother's eyes."

"He's sacrifice him for a lot less," Tobirama muttered. When Hashirama glared at him, he admitted sheepishly, "Okay, so maybe you have a point…"

"Whatever Madara is planning – and I'm sure that not it – I have to go there for the stability of the village," Hashirama stated confidently.

"Why did you even found a village with them anyway?" Danzo demanded. "They're evil!"

"Hey, don't look at me; I don't even know the kid," Tobirama declared when his brother turned to glare at him again. "Listen, Dan-"

"Danzo," Danzo corrected.

"Whatever," Tobirama didn't care. "I get you don't like what we're doing, but the simple fact is that we're in charge so we can do whatever we think is best. When you get older, you can feel free to wipe the Uchiha off the face of the Earth but until then let us do our job."

"Tobirama!" Hashirama admonished.

"Wait, let me guess…Dan's 'impressionable' too?" Tobirama asked sarcastically.

"Not particularly, no," Hashirama admitted. "But it's not like he needs any encouragement…"

"You worry too much," Tobirama said dismissively.

"When I'm in charge…" Danzo said, a blissful look coming to his face. "I like the sound of that…It's settled then. After the two of you die, I'll become the Sandaime Hokage."

Hashirama cleared his throat. "Actually, I already promised Hiruzen the position."

Danzo shrugged. "Then I'll become the Yondaime. Or the Godaime. Or even the Rokudaime."

"You wouldn't hold out for Seventh if you didn't make it?" Tobirama was curious.

"I'll probably be dead by then," Danzo pointed out. "Seeing as we're still on our first Hokage." Still looking dreamy, Danzo departed and let the Senju brothers continue on their way.

"I feel as if something horrible just happened, but I'm not sure what," Hashirama said, sounding vaguely concerned.

""We just had to talk to an obnoxious kid who thinks he knows better than we do how to create a village," Tobirama pointed out. "That seems simple enough."

"No, I just suddenly fear for the future…" Hashirama fretted. "I can't explain it."

Tobirama snorted. "With him shooting for Hokage, who wouldn't be? Hiruzen had better take some students he can pass the buck to – er, train to become Hokage," he amended.

"I'm sure he'll be thrilled to hear it," Hashirama grinned as they finally reached the gate to the Uchiha district. They were quickly shown inside and found Madara in a back garden, ranting to twenty or thirty of his fellow Uchiha, who all looked a little annoyed.

"And so you see, my brethren-" Madara broke off upon seeing them. "What are you doing here?" he demanded of Hashirama.

"I'm here too, you know," Tobirama spoke up, but Madara ignored him. "Talk about obsessed…"

"Sorry about that," Izuna apologized. "He's been…upset since the ceremony last week."

"The Senju are trying to destroy us!" Madara cried out, sounding desperate. "They're confining us to this prison where they can watch our every movement and then, when the time is right, crush us!"

"You don't have to live here you know," Hashirama pointed out. "As a founding clan, we just thought you might appreciate having your own private section of the village."

"I notice you aren't living with your clan," Madara shot back.

"Oh God know," Tobirama said automatically, shuddering. "I mean, we would, but SOMEONE'S got to live in the Hokage mansion, otherwise building it would have been a huge waste of resources."

"It was a waste of resources," Madara sniffed.

Tobirama crossed his arms. "I notice you didn't think that when you helped design it."

"That was when I thought I would be living there!" Madara pointed out.

"Because that's not a double standard at all," Tobirama said, rolling his eyes.

"I never should have agreed to a truce with you. You're out to destroy us," Madara claimed, turning his attention back towards his eternal rival.

"We are not," Hashirama insisted wearily. "How many times do I have to say it before you'll believe me?"

"I will never believe you," Madara vowed passionately. "Ever."

"Besides, you didn't agree to it, everyone else did and they threatened to fire you if you didn't go along with it," Tobirama reminded him.

"They can't fire me! I'm clan head!" Madara cried.

"Which is perhaps why you went along with it," Tobirama suggested.

"And your timing is horrible, too," Madara continued as if he hadn't heard Tobirama, as per usual. "I had just taken Izuna's eyes two weeks before!"

"That was your decision; we had nothing to do with it," Hashirama felt the need to remind his long-time foe.

"Hey, you know, I've actually been wondering about that," Tobirama announced.

Hashirama groaned. "Tobirama-"

"You both were going blind because you were overusing the Mangekyou Sharingan, right? And the only way to save your eyes was to take your sibling's?" Tobirama asked.

"Right…" Izuna confirmed cautiously.

"Completely ignoring the fact that using someone else's half-blind eyes really shouldn't restore your eyesight because I'm sure it's a Kekkei genkai thing: Why didn't you guys just trade eyes?" Tobirama asked logically.

"Two in one day, that must be some kind of record," Hashirama said quietly.

Madara didn't answer.

"Didn't even occur to you, did it?" Tobirama asked unnecessarily.

"Stop trying to spread dissent!" Madara ordered.

"But I'm not trying to!" Tobirama protested.

Hashirama sighed heavily. "You never do…"

"So what are you really here for?" Madara demanded suspiciously. "Are you trying to spy on us, because I swear, you'll never get anything from me!"

"I came here to try and assure you that even though the position of Hokage is mine, I have no intentions of destroying or even subjugating the Uchiha and I hope to be able to work closely with you to the betterment of our village," Hashirama said diplomatically.

"A likely story!" Madara said dramatically.

"Actually, I think it is a likely story," one of the other Uchiha spoke up. "We do provide half of the power Konoha has, after all, so it would be kind of problematic if we kept fighting now that we're supposed to be on the same side."

"What? No!" Madara was horrified. "He's getting to you. Don't tell me you actually BELIEVE that he 'just wants peace'. He'll have his peace when we're all dead!"

"That sounds kind of threatening," Tobirama noted.

"Except he said that when they're dead, not us," Hashirama pointed out.

"You know what, this is getting ridiculous. Your paranoia is getting out of control," another Uchiha said firmly. "We'll never be able to work with the Senju and integrate into the village with you sabotaging everything. Either accept the way things are or leave."

"You can't do this to me!" Madara cried out.

"I think you'll find that if we, as a clan, turn our backs on you and reject your authority then we can," a third Uchiha corrected.

"Izuna, make them listen to me!" Madara implored.

Before Izuna could so much as open his mouth, however, a fourth Uchiha said caustically, "Oh for the love of God, leave that poor boy alone. He sacrificed his eyes to your ambition, didn't he? What more do you want from him?"

Hashirama and Tobirama stood back and watched as one by one the Uchiha who were present turned on their leader.

"This is all your fault," Hashirama said finally. "Honestly, it's like I can't take you anywhere."

"My fault?" Tobirama exclaimed. "What did I do?"

"You were here," Hashirama remarked dryly. "That's usually enough."

"FINE!" Madara shouted at last, his face red with fury. "If that's how you feel, then so be it. I'm leaving so don't you dare come crying to me when you're all massacred one day!"

"Didn't we implement some kind of rule against abandoning Konoha?" Tobirama asked idly as Madara stormed off, making as big a scene as possible. "Something maybe punishable by death?"

Hashirama snorted. "I'm the only one actually capable of defeating Madara at this point and honestly, I'd rather not start something with him right now. Besides, he's leaving anyway and if he comes back as a threat, I can always take him down then."

"You know, now I'M getting a bad feeling about the future," Tobirama replied.

"Oh shut up…"

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