Quotable Quotes

Disclaimer: Victorious and its characters are the property of Schneider's Bakery and Nickelodeon. Jaws is property of Universal Studios. Dr. Strangelove is owned by Sony. The Third Man is the property of British Lion Film Corporation. WarGames is the property of MGM. Halloween is owned by John Carpenter. Mary Poppins is, of course, the property of Disney. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. Any original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. No profit is intended or wanted for this story.

Summary: Tori surprises Jade with her choice for a movie quote assignment and leads the dark girl to see the peppy high schooler in a new light.

Note: To the guest reviewer, David, I am John O'Connor. Luchcoltrane is my email ID. I appreciate your concern over plagiarism but, in this case, it's not warranted. I have been using the lushcoltrane for well over 15 years as my primary email for writing and posting. I wish you had created an account on FF so I could address this directly with you through a message. However, maybe it's better this way as more people, who might have similar concerns, will see it.


"Alright, this is from Jaws. The characters are Roy Scheider, who played Amity Police Chief Brody, Richard Dreyfuss, who played Hooper the shark expert, and Robert Shaw, who played Quint, the crusty, old fisherman. They're in the cabin of the Orca, Shaw's fishing boat, boozing it up as dusk falls on the water, seen through the cabin windows. Shaw explained a tattoo he had removed at some point in the past. It was a tattoo of the USS Indianapolis. A bit of then-nearly forgotten history as well as a hint of what they were up against."

In a voice that eerily sounded like an old, seasoned New England fisherman with a hint of the Irish, Jade recited the following:

"'Japanese submarine slammed two torpedoes into our side, Chief. We was comin' back from the island of Tinian to Leyte - just delivered the bomb. The Hiroshima bomb. Eleven hundred men went into the water. Vessel went down in twelve minutes. Didn't see the first shark for about a half an hour. Tiger. Thirteen-footer. You know how you know that when you're in the water, Chief? You tell by lookin' from the dorsal to the tail. What we didn't know...was our bomb mission had been so secret, no distress signal had been sent. Heh.'"

Pausing and sipping from an imaginary cup, she went on, "'They didn't even list us overdue for a week. Very first light, Chief, sharks come cruisin'. So we formed ourselves into tight groups. Y'know, it's... kinda like ol' squares in a battle like, uh, you see in a calendar, like the Battle of Waterloo, and the idea was, shark comes to the nearest man and that man, he'd start poundin' and hollerin' and screamin', and sometimes the shark'd go away... Sometimes he wouldn't go away. Sometimes that shark, he looks right into ya. Right into your eyes. Y'know the thing about a shark? He's got...lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eyes. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be livin'... until he bites ya. And those black eyes roll over white, and then... Oh, then you hear that terrible, high-pitch screamin', the ocean turns red, and spite of all the poundin' and the hollerin', they all come in and they...rip you to pieces.'"

Another pause.

"'Y'know, by the end of that first dawn...lost a hundred men. I dunno how many sharks. Maybe a thousand. I dunno how many men, they averaged six an hour. On Thursday mornin', Chief, I bumped into a friend of mine, Herbie Robinson from Cleveland. Baseball player. Bosun's mate. I thought he was asleep. Reached over to wake him up. Bobbed up and down in the water just like a kinda top. Upended. Well... he'd been bitten in half below the waist.

"'Noon the fifth day, Mr. Hooper, a Lockheed Ventura saw us, he swung in low and he saw us. Young pilot, a lot younger than Mr. Hooper. Anyway, he saw us and come in low and three hours later, a big fat PBY comes down and starts to pick us up. Y'know, that was the time I was most frightened, waitin' for my turn. I'll never put on a life jacket again. So, eleven hundred men went into the water, three hundred sixteen men come out, and the sharks took the rest, June the 29th, 1945.'"

Once more, she pauses and raises the imaginary cup with a twisted smile.

"'Anyway...we delivered the bomb.'"

"Wooofff... Thank you Jade, for that bit of cinematic history..." Sikowitz said. "And no notes…"

He had assigned his class to find a monologue, not a dialogue, from an older movie - made prior to the millennia – and, if necessary, to set the stage for the quote then recite it in class as well as tell the class why the quote resonated with them. Another stipulation was to try to refrain from too much profanity, basically ending students' hopes to use any of Quentin Tarantino's 1990s neo-classics. He also noted when any of his students didn't just read a note card but actually performed the mini-scene.

"Andre!"

"I chose Dr. Strangelove Or How I Stopped Worrying And Learned To Love The Bomb."

"Classic dark comedy from Stanley Kubrick. One of my all-time favorite directors... Proceed, Andre."

With a nod, the musician started, "Well, there was a great one-sided dialogue between the president and the Soviet premier. Also the B-52's survival kit inventory scene but... Anyway, this is what Major Kong says to his flight team on their B-52, the Leper Colony, when they get the go-code to attack Russia. I think it has a lot to say about how people naively viewed nuclear war in the 1950s and '60s. And, marginally, the early years of the Civil Rights Movement."

While not sounding too much like Slim Pickens, Andre did a credible, stereotypical Southern accent as he said, "'Well, boys, I reckon this is it. Nook-lear combat toe to toe with the Roosskies. Now look, boys, I ain't much of a hand at makin' speeches, but I got a pretty fair idea that something doggone important is goin' on back there. And I got a fair idear the kinda personal emotions that some of you fellas may be thinkin'. Heck, I reckon you wouldn't even be human bein's if you didn't have some pretty strong personal feelin's about nook-lear combat. I want you to remember one thing, the folks back home is a-countin' on you and, by golly, we ain't about to let 'em down. Tell you something else, if this thing turns out to be half as important as I figure it just might be, I'd say that you're all in line for some important promotions and personal citations when this thing's over with. That goes for ever' last one of you regardless of your race, color or your creed. Now let's get this thing on the hump - we got some flyin' to do.'"

"Very good, Andre. And you only checked your notes twice.

"Okay, Mr. Oliver. What do you have for us?"

"Carol Reed's awesome classic, The Third Man. After Joseph Cotten, who played western pulp writer Holly Martin finally tracks down his old friend Harry Lime - Orson Welles - in the ruins of post-war Vienna, they talk on the Ferris wheel in an amusement park, that survived the bombings and the battle. To me, it shows the incongruity of war. While showing the coldness of those who prey on the weak, it also highlights that, even when we pray for peace, we see progress so much faster under the gun. Harry is leaving the ride after unsuccessfully trying to talk his friend into helping him with his black-market activities. Harry is suffering from chronic heartburn as well.

"'I wish I'd asked you to bring some of these tablets from home. Holly, I'd like to cut you in, old man. There's nobody left in Vienna I can really trust and we've always done everything together. When you make up your mind, send me a message. I'll meet you any place, any time. And when we do meet - it's you I want to see, old man. Not the police. Remember that, won't you?

"'Don't be so gloomy. After all it's not that awful. Like the fella says, in Italy for thirty years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love - they had 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock. So long Holly.'"

"Good choice! One of my favorite quotes. Which does not get you extra credit," Sikowitz says with a smile.

"Cat!"

"Yay! I chose Mary Poppins. 'Supercallifragilisticexpialidocious!'"

Shaking his head, Sikowitz patted Cat on the head, "I...I'll accept that. I think we all know why you chose that. So, Robbie!"

"Mine's from WarGames. It's short but it sums up the whole mess with the super-computer, WHOPR, when it inadvertently prepares to launch World War Three. General Beringer is addressing the systems designer. 'Mr. McKittrick, after very careful consideration, sir, I've come to the conclusion that your new defense system sucks."

"Very good, Robbie, if a little short. You even managed to sound like Barry Corbin. Why that quote?"

"I, uh…"

"Fool don't have a clue," Rex cut in.

"I do so! I think…it's about giving up too much control to mechanization."

"Alright, Robbie. Good point. And now…Toro!"

"Please stop calling me fatty tuna! And, for my quote, I chose the original 1978 version of John Carpenter's Halloween." She noted as Jade sat up a little straighter in her seat, an expression of interest on her face. "Dr. Sam Loomis, Donald Pleasance, is explaining to the sheriff, Charles Cyphers, while they're in the ruin of the Myers house, why he was scared of Michael Myers, who had escaped from the asylum and was back in Haddonfield on a killing spree on Halloween night. I think the subject is pretty self-explanatory."

Tori's voice was low and flat, a scary dull monotone, "'I met him, fifteen years ago; I was told there was nothing left; no reason, no, uh, conscience, no understanding; and even the most rudimentary sense of life or death, of good or evil, right or wrong.. . I met this six-year-old child, with this blank, pale, emotionless face, and the blackest eyes...the devil's eyes. I spent eight years trying to reach him, and then another seven trying to keep him locked up because I realized that what was living behind that boy's eyes was purely and simply...evil."

Sikowitz shuddered, "Woooof! Very good, Tori."

Cat curled into herself and simply said, "I'm scared..."

Even Rex said, "Girl, you freaky!"

Jade didn't say a thing but she had an unusual expression in her face. If one had to label it, it would be curiosity, even interest.

"Okay, um…Simmons," Sikowitz called out to one of the shruggers.

"Mine's the opening monologue from Patton starring George C. Scott. My great-grandfather was a divisional commander under Patton's Third Army when they relieved Bastogne. The movie's opening speech was actually his address to the troops before Operation Torch, the Invasion of North Africa…."


Later, at the end of the school day, as Tori was digging through her locker to take the books she needed to take home with her. She noticed a dark shape move up alongside her.

"Hey, Jade. Thanks for not scaring the bejeezus outta me."

"Welcome, Vega. What is bejeezus anyway?"

Tori shook her head, "I'm not sure. I think it's like chiz. A way to swear without the TV censors getting upset."

"But we're not on TV!"

"No chiz, Catherine Obvious!"

Jade sighed deeply, "I thought we went over all that in Beck's hot box…"

"Not if I make it a real thing…" Tori smiled as if imagining her new 'name' taking off, maybe even being entered in the Oxnard English Dictionary.

"VEGA!"

Jerking, Tori glared, "WHAT?!"

"I wanted to ask you about that movie scene. Got everything you need?" Tori nodded as she closed her locker. Then Jade grabbed her wrist and said, "You're buying me a Jet Brew!"


With coffee in hand, Jade asked, "What up?"

"'What up?'"

"You heard me…"

"About what?"

"Are you being obtuse on purpose? Or just to irritate me? Which is never a good idea…" Jade warned.

With a sigh, Tori said, "I still don't know what you're talking about."

"Your quote. From Halloween. It's one of the scariest movies of all time."

"Yes, it is. And with practically no gore," Tori agreed. "Dad has it on Blu-ray along with all of Carpenter's other movies. I particularly like The Fog, his remake of The Thing and Prince of Darkness. But some of his non-horror movies are great too. Escape From New York and Big Trouble in Little China are a lot of fun."

"Even Dark Star?"

"Yep!"

"Dan O'Bannon worked on that with Carpenter before he wrote Alien," Jade noted.

"As well as Dead and Buried, Lifeforce, Return of the Living Dead and Blue Thunder. And segments of Heavy Metal. The B-17 sequence that came from the magazine, Heavy Metal or Metal Hurlante, was the original version of the story that became Alien. And Dad has those O'Bannon flicks too."

"Your dad, the foot archer…" Tori rolled her eyes and shook her head. "…He have that remake of Village of the Damned with Superman?"

"Yep. And it's pretty creepy. I think it held up well as a remake but I still like the classic Brit movie. Dad also has In The Mouth of Madness which was pretty creepy too."

Jade stared at the brunette for a long minute. "Alright, who are you and what have you done with Tori Vega?"

Tori laughed, "What? You expecting a seed pod? A Stepford wife?"

"Props for the references but Vega, you don't like horror movies!"

"Nooo… I like all kinds of movies."

"But you freaked when Cat gave me those scissors."

"Yeah, 'cause you were waving them around like Tawny Walker Black! I didn't want to get cut. And you had that wild look in your eye…"

"Hmmm…" Jade had a thoughtful look on her face then she asked, "So, if I invited you over to watch The Scissoring Trilogy, would you come?"

"Well, the second one was okay but the third one was pretty bad… But, yeah, I'd come over."

"Hmmm…"

"Hmmm?"

Looking thoughtful for a long moment, Jade finally said, "I'm giving you a break."

"Oh?"

"I'm driving."

"Are we going to Shadow Creek Park again?"

"Nah… We're going back to your place. I wanna see this 'awesome' horror movie collection."

"Oh… Um…okay…"


Later that afternoon, David Vega came home from his tour to find his daughter and her…frenemy? Her rival? Her…whatever…

They were sitting together on one of the two sections of the sofa watching George Romero's Creepshow.

"Hey ladies!" he called as he came in from the garage.

"Hey Dad!"

"Detective," Jade replied, her eyes glued to the screen as The Lonely Death of Jordy Verrill, the second tale in the anthology movie, began with the discovery of the meteorite. This was pretty much a one-person story with Stephen King, the horror maestro, playing Jordy in the movie he penned.

"Creepshow! I remember when I bought the comic book. Dad had a fit. He thought I was too young to read something like that. But he didn't care if I read his old Creepy and Eerie comics! Loved those old horror…"

"Detective? All due respect and all that but we're watching a movie?"

David chuckled. He often said the same thing to his wife when they watched a DVD for the first time. "Good point. Mind if an old man joins you?"

"Don't laugh at anything!" Jade said.

Wow! Pot, meet kettle, David thought with a smile, remembering the time their anniversary was crashed. He grabbed a beer and settled on the other sofa section. He noted how close the two girls were sitting – especially given their history. Another smile etched his face as he got comfortable.

Holly came in soon after, as she found the three sitting on the sofas watching the opening of her favorite story, The Crate, about a killer ape-thing from a long-ago polar expedition. She caught David's glance then nod towards Jade and understood not to say anything.

She poured herself a glass of Zinfandel and joined her husband to watch what was left of the movie.

After the epilogue, David stood and said, "I always sympathized with that kid but I would never order a voodoo doll to get back at my dad. Bit of trivia here too. The kid with the comic was actually King's son, Joe King. No joke – pun intended."

"Oh Daaad…" Tori groaned.

"And the great makeup man, Tom Savini, was one of the garbage men," he added.

"God! You're right! I can't believe I didn't see that!" Jade exclaimed. Then she turned to Tori, "Vega, thanks for letting me watch the movies. I…had a…good time."

Holly rose, "Jade, if you want, I made beef stew and you're welcome to join us for dinner."

Jade glanced at Tori who smiled back. "Okay, fine. But I wanna see some more of your horror collection, Detective!"

"Fair enough. Movies? Comics? Magazines? Novels? Holly's got her own collection of freaky stuff too."

"Vega, your family is a bunch of freaks! Why didn't you ever tell me? This is awesome!"

Later, while the four sat at the Vega's table for dinner, Jade asked, "Where's your sister…the…"

"Watch it!" Tori whispered harshly.

"The…vibrant, um…"

Holly said, "She's at her Aunt Sophie's. Soph has oral surgery and we 'volunteered' Trina to help her out."

Jade beamed and Tori smiled happily in return. "Payback…"

David asked, "So, what brought this on?"

"This?" Tori asked. "This what?"

"Yeah, you and Jade hanging out. I mean, it's pretty rare you're here Jade if the rest of your usual suspects aren't."

Jade snapped her fingers, "Hey, that's right. Vega, no one did anything from The Usual Suspects. There are those two great quotes from Verbal about Keyser Soze…"

"I suppose so, Jade. I…"

"You haven't seen it? One of the great heist movies of all time?"

Tori looked down at the nearly empty bowl of stew. "No…"

"I'll bring it over tomorrow. Don't ask anyone about the movie – especially Cat. I don't want you getting any spoilers!"

"So, my question hangs in the air…?" David said.

"Oh! Well, Dad, you remember when I watched that scene in Halloween several times?"

"With Donald Pleasance in the Myers house when he's describing Michael? Yeah. For some class presentation, right?"

"That's what I used for Sikowitz's class." Tori explained the exercise their teacher had assigned them.

"I have to admit she was pretty good. Her deadpan delivery was fitting. Scared Cat and Robbie too."

"I scared Robbie?"

"Either that's the reason there was a wet spot in his pants or he was really turned on…"

"JADE!?"

Meanwhile both the adults were chuckling at Jade's comment, knowing Robbie.

Finally, Holly asked, "Jade, what quote did you use?"

Rather than tell her, Jade again recited Quint's tale about surviving the sinking of the USS Indianapolis, even down to the gestures, with her iced tea glass as a prop, and that accent.

Tori smiled, "Jade, that was so good."

"Yeah, well you know I live for your approbation…" Jade replied snidely.

Tori just stuck out her tongue. Then she turned to her father, "Dad, Beck did that little speech by Orson Welles from The Third Man too."

"Boy's got taste."

"Especially since he's Canadian," Jade interjected.

"Jade!"

"Vega!"

"GIRLS!"


Several weeks of regular visits by Jade to the Vega residence to watch movies and join the family for dinner – she even got Holly to pass along her Family Pot Pie recipe – no one was surprised when Tori and Jade were seen with their arms wrapped around each other in the hall.

Andre asked, "Hey, Beck? Wasn't that your job?"

Beck glanced at the two girls. Jade's arm was around Tori's waist and Tori's was draped across Jade's shoulders in a possessive claim. "Yeah, it was…" He watched as the girls walked across the entryway to Tori's locker and said, "Aren't they cute together?"

"Yeah! And hot!"

Cat came up, "Aw, they're so cute…."

"And they're hot!"

Rex chimed in, "Think we can watch them make out?"

Robbie chastised his puppet, "REX!"

"And they're hot!"

No one said anything for a long moment until Andre again said, "And they're hot!"

Beck nudged his shoulder, breaking his fixation. "Oh, hey! What up?"

Tori smiled at the group and said, "Andre's right! My bed almost caught fire…"

Jade barked out a laugh as the rest of their group stood there with their mouths hanging open.

Finally, Rex asked, "Can we watch you two make out?"

Jade grabbed the puppet and followed Tori to the janitor's closet. Tori held the door as Jade tossed Rex into one of the nastier trash cans.

"Ooof!" came from the plastic can. Then, "It smells like ass in here!"

"You fit right in," Jade taunted before leaving the closet. As she and Tori resumed their earlier stance, she asked, "Anyone else have something smart to say?"

"Nah, I'm pretty dumb here," Andre said.

"Me too. After all, I'm only Canadian," Beck said sarcastically. He knew he could get away with it.

"You two are so cute together," Cat said.

Robbie was silent as his eyes darted between the lovely couple and the door of the janitor's closet.

The pair nodded as one and started to walk away. Jade growled at a freshman who stared at them even as Tori asked, "You guys wanna join us at Karaoke Dokey?"

"But no REX!" Jade declared.

"Jade!"

"Vega!"

"You guys are so cute together…"