Dean kissed my nose and hugged me tight. His hand patting my back, telling me that everything will be alright again. Tears streamed down my face as I gripped him tighter, hiding my face in his shirt. His head rested on the top of mine, whispering words of comfort and reassurance. My head moved away from his chest. Dean tried to lift up my chin, I had no other choice then to look into his deep green eyes. Watching the typical single tear of Dean, running down his cheek over uncountable freckles. He took my arm in his his manly hand. As I watched my arm I saw blue veins shimmering through pale skin. My eyes wandered past my wrists, along my arm, where my skin was full of red lines and head scars. Some of the cuts were deep and fresh other red and light. Dean's finger slid lightly over one of the deepest self-harm scars of mine. His face was now covered in tears. The hunters lips moved to my arm, planting light kisses on my scars, making the fresh cuts bleed again. "Fuck, sorry!" Deans head rushed upwards. "Never mind" I whispered in a soft voice, searching for a tissue to press against my arm. Dean reached one first and pressed it against my skin, trying to stop the bleeding.
"You ok?" he asked shyly, his eyes fixed on my bleeding arm. "Sure, I'm fine" I answered with a light smile around my lips. "No you're not!" Dean's voice sounded angry and hurt as he yelled at me "Stop lying! Stop faking all of your smiles. Just...stop fooling me!" his voice cracked at the end of the sentence. Dean let go of my arm, and tried to look into my eyes. I sank my eyes. I looked at the street in front of the bunker, hiding my tears and trying not to show how much it had hurt. "I'm sorry, Dean" I whispered slowly not able to hold the tears back anymore. Suddenly I felt a warm body wrapped around me, it seemed like Dean wanted to hide me, to keep me save from the rest of the world. That was the first time, since very long, that I felt save, that I felt loved, that I didn't feel like a complete failure. I once felt worthy.
I sensed the warming body moving away from me " No" I whispered, my words nearly unheard, because of the cold October wind, blowing through our clothes. The body stopped and took me in his arms again, hugging me more tightly. It was too tight, I could hardly breath, but I felt happy, finally. "Dean... you... I can't breath" I tried to say but my voice kept breaking. He looked puzzled, then he realized and his mouth turned into a smile, and even the little wrinkles around his eyes showed. "I love to see you smiling"I I told the hunter, and his eyes brightened up a little. I slowly let go of him, but he kept holding my hand. "I'd say the same to you, but I can't remember seeing you smile fo' real" he pointed out, his forehead frowned and looked from my eyes down to my arm, with my furled sleeves . He gently moved his fingers on my scars again, his eyes returning to mine. His eyeballs were as red as mine and I smiled at him. This time I didn't have to fake it. "I like you better that way" he said being completely honest. Dean lifted me up and carried me inside the bunker.
I couldn't stop giggling, which made the hunter laugh and his whole body shook with me in his arms. He saw that the scars on my arm were still showing so he pulled down my sleeve. Dean threw me on the couch, I softly fell in to the comfy sofa and closed my eyes. I opened my eyes again as I heard Castiel coming into the living room. Dean hugged his lover and Cas slowly pushed him into their bedroom. I quickly gripped Sammy's iPod and turned to volume up, as much as possible. I didn't want to hear whatever Dean and Cas were doing.
