Zexion. . . where are you? Why did you have to go? I don't understand. One who knows nothing can understand nothing, right?
You once told me I shouldn't judge anyone by appearance. But what about Axel, sitting there looking so normal in his chair even after everyone is gone? Or the Superior, contining to pursue kingdom hearts as if nothing has happened, as if nothing has been lost? What about your chair that continues to draw my eye and my attention even though it's so glaringly empty?
Roxas left. We were given orders to eliminate the traitor. Axel acted like it was nothing, but I saw him when he though no one was looking. Even though he looks as sad and lost as I feel, I have no pity for him at all. It kinda scares me, Zexy. It's like I'm becoming someone else.
Axel gave the report today. Roxas has successfully rejoined with Sora. He wasn't acting like himself, but I hardly cared. If you and Vexen were still here, you'd probably want to capture Sora for study. But no one seems to care about that now. All Xemnas wants to to gain access to Kingdom Hearts. But what's the point anymore? If we have no hearts, then you wouldn't be there.
Luxord gave me cue cards today. He said I've been spacing out more then usual and that I'm so clueless I'll probably need them. At meetings I'll just sit and stare at your spot. I'll stand outside your room and just stare at the door for hours. But I can't go in. I can't go in and have you not be there. Zexion, we must have hearts, because you took mine with you.
Xemnas announced a mission to the Underworld and I jumped at it. They all seemed surprised, but if I went to the Underworld, maybe I could find you. Axel grabbed me afterward and asked me what was going on, said I hated going on missions. I told him that maybe that me was gone and that he had made sure of that. I walked away and left that pained look on his face. I remember when we used to be friends, but none of it matters anymore. You're not here anymore.
I don't really remember how I got the stone from Olympus. That kind of scares me too. I remember meeting Hades and asking for you. He laughed at me and said that was the best joke he'd heard in awhile.
"You think creatures like you actually have souls for me to collect? Ha! And even if your loverboy was here, you wouldn't be strong enough to get him back."
I tried to be strong and think 'What would Zexion do? What would Zexion say?' but the pain in my chest was to strong and I just had to "Run, Run away!"
I saw Sora later on. I thought, if I could get Roxas back then maybe I could figure out how to get you back, too. But it was no use. I don't remember much of what happened next. I wanted to make you proud. I didn't want people to think 'What a lame lover Zexion has'. They were rude. You wouldn't have like that.
You once said you didn't think we could really die. After all, how can you end a nonexsistence? If that's true, then where are you? Why can't I see you? Why can't I feel you? Why can't I hear you? Why did you leave me? I don't want to be alone. If I End too, will I be with you then?
Axel's dissapeared. He kidnapped Kairi. I don't get what he's trying to do. Does he think Sora looks like Roxas when he's angry? I guess he does, but they're still not the same. But, I guess, if Ienzo existed and I could make him smile your smile, I would.
They've all gone to Hollow Bastion to watch Sora fight. None of them have looked at me since I returned from the Underworld. I'm no longer worth their glances. Or maybe I never was. What did you see in me, Zexion? I'll go to Hollow Bastion, too. Sora will end it for me, I think. He's kind like that. Even though I'm a nobody he hates, he'll still send me to you. But I'll make you proud, Zexion. I'll be brave and fight my hardest. You might have to lend me your strength though. Sorry if I look funny trying to act like you.
I did my best. I put whatever is left of my heart into it. I wanted to show him that it does exist. It has to exist because it's still looking for you. He's killed me, like I knew he would. Sora's kind like that, even if he doesn't understand everything. I'm Ending, I can feel myself breaking apart and I'm scared. If my nonexistence ends, will I really find you? I wish you were here to hold my hand and tell me everything will be alright. But instead, even my sitar has abandoned me. Did you feel this scared and alone when you died, Zexion? That thought alone is enough to make me scream. Zexion, where are . . .
