I hate you, I hate you, I hate you,I hate you so much it hurts. But then I love you. I love you too much to let you go so I'll stay here for a while more. Even though even the thought of you sends my heart racing and sends chills down my spine; I can't tell if it's strong loathing or overwhelming love, but it hurts. It hurts so much I just can't take it. I hate it. I hate my feelings for you. I hate myself. I hate you so much. Why won't they just go away? This damn heart of mine.
You're loud. I can't hear my own thoughts. You keep shouting my name. It's never-ending. Why won't you stop? I can't get away. You're invading my every being. Stop. My heart won't stop flying. I feel like I'm soaring when I see you, t it's wrong. I can't. I'm supposed to be nonchalant towards you, or annoyed. These feelings can' be real. They're wrong. You're not who I'm supposed to be with. I shouldn't love you, but yet...
Yet why are you making me do this. Your face, smiling down at me, gleefully asking me again for a toss. Your voice, ,echoing in my head, invading my heart. Every high-five we share, every gentle touch you lay on my shoulder congratulating me. I can't take it. It's to hard. How are you so calm? Do you not feel this hellish fire consuming me. I can't handle this. I hate this. I hate what you do to me. I hate you so much and yet I can't stop myself from wanting you. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop!
I can't. I can't deal with your gentle, protectiveness that you offer me. I won't do it anymore. Maybe once I tell you it'll go away. I can be normal again. I can stop these racing feelings and feel at peace with myself. I call your name, even just that speck of attention of you looking at me makes me burn. The words come out before I can stop them.
"What are you doing to me?" His head tilts at me, confused. How does he not understand? "Whenever I see you, my heart tightens. I feel embarrassed when you look at me. I'm burning alive. I can't get you out of my mind. What did you do to me Bokuto? I can't handle this burn anymore." I was more desperate now, I felt it in my soul. My hand clutched at my chest. That's where the burn was worst. My nails clawed at it, trying to get it out of my body. I fell to my knees sobbing. his burning hurt like hell. I wanted it gone. A calloused hand touched my shoulder. I looked up, seeing his gentle, smiling face for the umpteenth time.
"It's the same for me you know." He said in the deep, resonating voice I loved and hated so much. "Every time I see you, I just want to wrap my arms around you and never let go. I feel the heat too Akaashi," he said my name normally now, for once It wasn't drawn out. "I'm hopelessly in love with you. Go out with me, say you'll be mine." His face was serious, but his lips were still curved into that smile, and his owlish eyes were shining. I could never refuse him when he looked like this, gleeful and innocent. The burning spread. I couldn't help but smile back at him.
"Okay." My simple answer had led to the best moment of my life. He picked me off the ground, shouting in pure cheer, spinning me around. He pulled me to his chest and our lips connected. The burn consumed me, and I was happy.
