Bella's POV

Could this seriously be the end? If it was why was I so happy? All I did was go to Alice's party. So what if it had half-naked men pop, locking, and dropping it? I knew I was taken. I knew I loved Jacob, with all my heart.

He was the one that shown light on me when my mother died. He had mended the hole that was now ripped open. He was the one who had made it seem like my mother was still here with us. But all that hard work of getting over my mother's death fell down the drain when he yelled at me for going to Alice's party. Every ounce of my body told me that I needed to apologize. But for what exactly? Had I done anything that I would need to apologize for? No. So why did I feel like it was my duty to apologize? He was the one who got all upset that I went to my friend's house. I wasn't the one who went ballistic when he found out his girlfriend went to a party with out permission. Why would I need permission from him to go to a party? I was perfectly capable of taking care of myself. When he dumped me, I almost felt relieved. I hadn't shed a tear. Not one single tear, which led him to believe that I didn't need him.

Maybe he just wasn't that special guy for me. Maybe I hadn't met that right guy yet.

When Jake told me that tonight he was going to propose to me, that he was going to have me as his own. I was disgusted, and relieved that he found out I went to Alice's party, or I would have his ring on right now.

Since that first kiss with him, I felt not one spark like they said you would feel if he was the one. Not even one single spark. So I guess I really wasn't meant for him. Some girl would find him some day, and be as possessive of him as he is of her, and he can be happy.

But I want to live a little. I want to see the sun rise in the morning with out having to think that I can't go out with my friends and have fun. I want to go to the club and meet guys without being yelled at. I want to skinny dip with a guy I've never met before. I want to drink and dance at some sluttish looking bar. That scares me.

I haven't been able to do anything stupid since I met Jacob. I can't even remember the last time I really smiled. Sure I was happy with Jacob, but I was never as happy as I had been with friends and family before my mom's death.

So I guess I never loved Jacob.

That right there brought the feeling of conviction. Of rightness I had never felt before in my life. So I could live my life now. I could jump of a building if I wanted to. I could buy clothes that I probably would never wear again.

I could breathe.

Finally, after all this time I could sit here and breathe fully. I was over my mom's death. I could think about her with out tears coming to my eyes. Thanks to Jacob. But I was over Jacob too. For the simple fact that I was never in love with him that I could be dumped by him with out shedding a tear. I was happy. Truly and blissfully happy. I promised myself that I was going to have some fun now.

I admit, I loved him. Oh, yeah, I loved him big time. But I wasn't in love with him. I had failed to see this before. When he asked me out, of course I was excited, of course I felt like I could fly, but I didn't really want to. I guess just the feeling that someone likes you brings you to like them even if you don't truly love them. That's what I had failed to see all this time. I never liked him more than a friend. I guess the feeling that he might like me satisfied me, even though a relationship with him wasn't what I really wanted.

So now that I know that I'm not in love with him, what do I do next? It bothered me that I didn't know the answer.

I just laid back and watched the stars. I sang to myself.

Maybe I've been the problem

Maybe I'm the one to blame

But even when I turn it off and blame myself

The outcome fells the same

I've been thinking maybe I've been partly cloudy

Maybe I'm the chance of rain

And maybe I'm overcast

And maybe all my luck's washed down the drain

I've been thinking 'bout everyone

Everyone you look so lonely

But when I look at the stars

When I look at the stars

When I look at the stars, I see someone else

When I look at the stars

The stars, I feel like myself

Stars looking at a planet

Watching entropy and pain

And maybe start to wonder

How the chaos in our lives could pass as sane

I've been thinking 'bout the meaning of resistance

Of a hope beyond my own

And suddenly the infinite and penitent

Begin to look like home

I've been thinking 'bout everyone

Everyone you look so empty

But when I look at the stars

When I look at the stars

When I look at the stars, I see someone else

When I look at the stars

The stars, I feel like myself, yeah

Stars, stars

Everyone, everyone feels so lonely

Everyone, yeah everyone feels so empty

When I look at the stars

When I look at the stars

When I look at the stars, I feel like myself

When I look at the stars

The stars, I see someone

When I finished singing I sat in the silence that rapped around me. That song explained everything about my life. I loved Switchfoot. They had that hard rock theme, but not quite, just because their singing wasn't screaming and they had that 'we know what we are doing' beat to their songs.

I inhaled slowly.

"That was nice." A velvety voice said from behind me.

I swear I jumped 3 feet in the air.

"Oh, God, you scared me." I said standing up and putting my hand on my heart, "You almost gave me a heart attack."

I don't know why I was talking to a stranger, but what ever. I promised to my self I was going to have some fun before my life was over.

"I'm sorry." The stranger said.

He stepped out of the shadows and into the moonlight and my heart skipped a beat. He had bronze hair that was sticking straight up in different directions. His face was pale either from the moonlight or naturally pale, I had no idea. His eyes were a lovely emerald green, and the only thing he was wearing was jeans and a pair of old converse. His chest was perfectly sculpted, and if I hadn't known better I'm sure I would have reached out and touched him to see if he was real.

He was gorgeous.

I had to take a second to remember how to breathe, "No, its okay, I was kind of in my own little world."

He chuckled, and I melted a little.

"Well, you have a beautiful voice. You should put it to the test." He said.

"I have stage freight, and sometimes I can't remember how to breathe." I said looking down at the ground. I blushed scarlet red, and I was sure he saw.

He laughed.

"Stop laughing at me!" I snapped, looking up.

He stopped laughing at once.

"I'm sorry; I have a bit of a temper." I said looking down at my hands. I can't believe I just said that!

"I do too, sometimes." He said.

"Oh." Was my brilliant response.

"So, what brings you here?" He asked, cocking his head to one side and raising one perfect eyebrow.

"I don't know. I come here often just to look at the stars, they really are beautiful tonight." I said looking up at the stars.

"Yeah, they are."

"Excuse me for asking, but what is your name?" I asked, for all I knew, he could be a under cover agent trying to get my information for the president. Whoa, that was way off topic.

"You do not need to know my name." He said with a voice of authority that I couldn't disobey.

"Why not?" I asked, suspiciously.

"That doesn't concern you." He said.

"Why not?" I said again with more volume.

He sighed, either because he was giving up, or because he was frustrated.

"Fine, my name is Edward Anthony Mason Cullen, but I don't like it when people call me Eddie. Happy?" He said looking straight in my eyes. Edward suited him.

I couldn't think. I didn't know what my answer would be. I didn't even remember what my last name was. I just nodded, unable to speak for fear I would squeal.

He seemed amused by something. That pulled me out of my intense staring at him, and I looked away blushing.

"And what, might I ask, is your name?" He asked tilting his head to one side, grinning with those pink, full lips of his. I wanted to kiss him. What? I hardly knew the guy for more than 5 minutes and already I wanted to do unpleasant things to him. That right there is why I need out more.

"Well, since I asked you what your name is, I think it is only fair that I tell you my name as well. My name is Isabella Swan, but you can call me Bella." I said willing my hand to move from my side and shake his hand. He looked down at it, and shook my hand. I froze.

It was like an electrical current had gone through my body, and every bone in my body ached to pull him closer. I pulled my hand away quickly, putting it behind my back. It burned in a non-painful way where his hand had touched mine. I looked down at my feet, but in the corner of my eye, I saw Edward look at his hand in shock. As if he had just touched fire and it hadn't burned him. I'm sure the look on his face was on my face as well.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled, for he had not stopped looking at his hand. I saw him touched where I had, and I wanted to know what he was thinking. It surely was something, because he hadn't stopped looking at his hand.

When I spoke he looked up at me, and with an apologetic smile, he shook his head.

"Don't be." He said smiling a crooked smile that made my breathing hitch. I couldn't breathe, again. This guy could suffocate me if he wanted to, with out even touching me.

"But I am." I finally got out. I gasped for air, and finally breathed normally. I think I might need therapy after this, so I can remember how to breathe if I meet him again. If? I was surely meeting him again. Even if it killed me.

"Well, I don't think you should. It was my fault." He said looking ashamed. It was sweet and annoying at the same time. I was the one who shook his hand, and he was the one who was blaming him self? I fought the urge to slap some sense into him.

"No, its not. You didn't put your hand out there for me to shake. You didn't freeze when you shook my hand. You have no business blaming yourself. It was all me. And for that I am truly sorry." I said, holding my chin high. Wow. I never knew I had it in me! I thought I was going to stutter over my words like I do with other people. But surprisingly, he was easy to talk to. I had never had anyone after my mom's death, besides Jacob, that I could talk to freely without fighting the urge to cry.

"First off, it takes two to shake hands. Second off, I did freeze." He said and he seemed shy about that, "I was the one who shook your hand so I am blaming myself whether you like it or not. Please don't be sorry for anything." He emphasized anything.

"I don't know why we are having an argument about handshaking, but if you excuse me I have to get home before my dad comes looking for me." I said and with that I turned around and started to walk away, but two hands rapped around my waist. I wasn't even trying to struggle with him. All I could think about was his hands on me. The places where he touched burned in the same way it had when we shook hands.

"Where do you think your going?" He whispered in my ear and I could hear a smile in his voice. His hot breathe smelled like peppermint, and it made my mouth water. I could almost taste him on my tongue. A small shivered went through me, not because I was scared, not because I was cold, no, it was a shiver of pure pleasure. I wanted to kiss him so badly, but I resisted and answered him before he noticed that I was enjoying this.

"Home." I said, trying to struggle out of his arms. I knew, just from the way he was holding me, that I had not one chance. Besides, I wasn't trying that hard.

He turned me around so our faces were just inches apart. As much as I knew I was supposed to be scared, for all that I knew he could be a serial rapist. I just couldn't find that fear. There were new emotions I have never felt before, these feelings had my chest heaving, and my stomach flipping, but in a very good way.

"At least tell me your number." He said it almost nervously, like he was waiting for my answer.

I wanted so much to tell him yes, but my mind was screaming at me to say no. I wanted to give it to him, but at the same time I didn't know if he would use that against me. I faintly remembered my promise that I would have fun. If he wasn't going to hurt me, which I knew I was going to have to confirm, I would definitely give him my number.

"You're not some kind of serial rapist or anything are you?" I asked, narrowing my eyes.

"No, of course not!" He said offended, "If I was a serial rapist I would have already kidnapped you because you're alone."

That actually made a lot of sense. He would have already kidnapped me by now, because I was alone, and no one was around. He didn't seem like the type any way. Besides, he wouldn't have been that shocked when we shook hands if he just wanted to get into my pants. So I decided to give him my number. Any reason he gave me would have worked. I mean, technically I wanted to give it to him; I was just looking for an excuse for why he wasn't a rapist.

"Fine. Here is my number. Call me any time you want, just you know, don't call past 10." I said handing him a piece of paper from my book bag.

"Thanks." He said. He seemed rather eager for it. He leaned closer, and I swear my heart was racing faster than it has ever raced before, and kissed me on the forehead, "Good night, sweet dreams Bella."

"Good night." I said, in a daze. I don't remember walking back to my car, or the ride back home, or even when I got home, but I do remember falling asleep. That very night I dreamed sweet dreams of Edward.