Titanic –Hearts of Ice- HL Griffiths
Hearts of Ice
Chapter one- "Goodbye"
May 1911
Rose
"Thud Thud" the clods of earth fell clumsily from my numb hands and fell and landed on the oak casket lying in the six foot hole before me.
Tears blurred my vision and I bit back the lump in my throat, if I cried I would not be able to stop the flow.
Mother on the other hand looking from under my black veil was standing like a stature, her skin white and her lips pinched together wearing her predictable ticked off look. Her hands were in her fur muff to be kept warm. Her hair stiffly in place beneath her widows weeds She wasn't throwing handfuls of earth into his coffin or weeping prostrate with grief.
She wouldn't miss him. She barely tolerated him. Ruth Dewitt Bukater did not seem to need anyone!
"Papa" I whispered, "Goodbye my Papa", tears started to snake down my face. I wiped them away with the back of my hand. I heard Mother sniff and tut!
"Use a handkerchief Rose" she said through tight lips.
I ignored her, it was easy to tune her out, her voice normally going on and on, pressing on me titbits of information about how to stand, how to walk, what to say.
Papa could tune her out too. When she went on at the dinner table Papa would wink at me and we would share the joke. Papa and me, two of a kind.!
Now he was gone, Just me and Mother left. She wasn't the sort you called Mammy or Mama or threw your arms around and hugged joyfully. If I tried it I was sure she would be as stiff as a board and would push me away saying I was wrinkling her clothes.
Ahh Papa, he was a jolly sort, Daniel Dewitt Bukater, he was an adventurer and a flirt and was full of life. I loved to hear his roaring laugh and hear him tell tales of his boring work colleagues.
Now our fine big house was silent, Silent as the grave my poor father now lay in. I could scarcely take it in.
Only weeks before on 5th April I had had a glittering sixteenth birthday Gala and had been waltzing and celebrating feeling his proud eyes on me, feeling like a princess in a stunning white gown and wearing beautiful diamonds.
I awoke the morning after my party to find my mother more frosty than a blizzard and my papa with shadows under his weary eyes his skin pallid and his laughter long gone. I knew something dreadful had happened.
No-one told me Rose Dewitt Bukater what was happening. From that day on Papa was always out, early mornings and in late at night, when I saw him he patted me on the head like a faithful dog and said "Be a good girl sweet Rosebud I will spend time with you soon"
Soon after he took to his bed unwell, and Doctors came in and went, Mother wearing a face like thunder, she would not permit me to see him.
Then that dreadful early May morning when the maid Annalynne screamed the house down and found him dead when she took his water in.
Dead from a heart attack they said. I screamed for him for two hours when Mother told me, It was like someone had ripped my heart out. I cried till my eyes were red rimmed and my throat raw.
I could not face he was gone. Standing at the bleak grave side whilst the minister murmured verses from Palms. The rain fell steadily down matching my bleak mood
The small contingent of mourners huddled round the Minister, some work colleagues, our maids and butler, Mother and me None would meet my eye. Where were his friends? I wondered, he had always been a social person, and was surrounding by people, he was that sort of man, loud and gregarious, he drew people to him with his warmth and sense of fun.
Finally The service was over, only Mother and I standing there, Mother took my arm and pulled it.
"Come Rose" she said stiffly. I resisted her. I could not leave him, not in that dark damp earth, lonely... Tears ran faster and I started to sob.
"ROSE" Mother practically shouted and tugged my arm really hard and tried to pull me away.
"Get off" I wailed "I want Papa" and tried to shrug her hands off me.
She kept hold and turned me so our eyes met. Hers angry and cold.
"Don't make a scene" she hissed "The cars are waiting for us"
"For once do as you are told, we must go back to the house"
I was too choked to answer her. I allowed her to pull me from Papas grave through the lych gate to the waiting car.
"I will need to speak to you when you have got over your hysteria" she said in cold tones
"We have much to sort out for our future, come to the Winter parlour later"
"Yes Mother" I replied automatically as we got into the Renault.
My last look back was from the back of the car at the church and graveyard.
"Farewell Papa" I murmured "Rest in peace"
My life would never be the same again without him here.
