A/N: Happy New Years!
Disclaimer- No, once again, I do not own Naruto.
Title: The Loser
Pairing: SasuSaku
Summary: "Because no one wants to be the loser who doesn't get kissed on New Years."
I stare at her as she sits in the middle of the floor address books all around as she flips frantically through the pages phone in hand.
"So I was thinking that… Oh you're busy? With Tenten? I didn't realize. No, no it's okay. Really, it is. Hope you have a great one." She says with a broken smile as she crosses out yet another name on a list that has far more names marked out than remain.
She always does the same thing this time of year- the friendly small talk before cutting straight to the chase (She's never been the patient type). She doesn't think anyone notices the way her eyes dull or the small sigh that escapes her lips when she turns yet another page in her address book; she doesn't think anyone notices her. Why would they? Naruto on the phone babbling rather loudly away (probably with the Hyuuga girl- she's the only who wouldn't have hung up already), Kakashi so consumed in his little book as if it's the first time he's ever read it, and I with my earphones in. Everyone so wrapped up in their own little world- a world that doesn't include her.
"I wouldn't normally ask, but… Really? When did that happen? I'm happy for you guys. Tell Ino I said hi."
Different words,
different person.
Same thick black line through yet another
name.
Same broken smile.
She does the same thing every year, and I don't know why. I turned my iPod off long ago, but she doesn't know. My eyes are shut, but I can feel her battered gaze on me if only for a moment. I know she's back to flipping through the address books not by the sound of the pages turning, but by the meager sigh that yet again escaped her. She doesn't think I notice, but I do.
I notice a lot of things about her she doesn't know I do. I don't try to notice the small little things that no one else would; I'm just perceptive that's all. I notice the way she crinkles her nose saying 'I'm not a little girl anymore' when Kakashi messes up her hair. I notice the way her eyes glint when she calls Naruto an idiot because she knows it's only out of fun. I notice the way her eye twitches when she can't get the hold of new jutsu in training. I notice how her eyes sparkle when she tilts her head towards the sun bathing in all the warmth of the rays dancing on her face. But most of all, right now, I notice how there's only one name left on her list.
"Yeah, and I thought it could be just the two of us. So do you wanna?... Oh you're busy too. Oh, no. Don't cancel on Temari. I know you don't get to see her often."
Different words,
different person.
Same thick black line through the very last
name.
A new tear that gracefully slides down her face.
She quickly wipes it away so no one will notice, but I do. I always do.
I don't know why she does this every year. It never changes. It's December 30th, and she still doesn't have a date for New Year's Eve.
She sits there in the middle of the floor address books all around as she stares at the 3rd tile from the wall, crushed. She draws her knees to her chest and delicately wraps her arms around them though her gaze never leaves that spot on the tile. I hear her sniffle. She's trying not to cry.
I don't know why her muffled sobs bother me, but they do. It may be because they're interrupting the peaceful silence I've become accustom to, or it may be because they're simply annoying. But I think it's because she's Sakura and out of this room full of misfits that have somehow become my family, she's the one who's supposed to be happy.
Somewhere between my ponderings, she's stopped crying and she's staring at me again- cheeks glistened with the tears she's shed and eyes filled with the tears haven't been.
She does this to herself every year, and I don't know why-
"Sasuke-kun?" She asks between broken breaths.
-And that fact itself frustrates me.
She continues after I crack open my eyes in recognition, "I was wondering if you want to do something tomorrow…"
She looks downs, afraid to make eye contact because she already knows what the answer is.
"Why?" I reply, and it startles her, and it somewhat startles myself.
"Well… because I think it would be fun." She answers voice wavering with questions she has yet to ask herself.
"No, I want to know why," I say, headphones out of my ears and fully involved in the conversation. "Why do you do this every year?"
She's quiet for a moment, thoughtful expression on her face. I can tell she's arguing with herself because even though she's looking right at me, she has a distant look in her eyes.
I begin to put my headphones back in before she replies with a bitter sweet smile on her face, "Because, Sasuke-kun, no one wants to be the loser who doesn't get kissed on New Year's."
And it's as simple as that because no matter how much she's changed over the past few years, she will always be the 12 year old hopeless romantic on the inside.
"Hn," I grunt. She cocks her head to the side, and I can tell she doesn't quite understand because she always does it when she's confused. "Fine."
She's quiet for a moment once again, but her expression slowly changes into a genuine smile-none at all like the broken one which had made a home on her fragile lips all night. It's that smile that makes me swell on the inside, but I don't know why.
"Thank you," She says as she turns to walk off into the kitchen.
Naruto is still babbling on the phone unaware of anything outside of his own little world, but Kakashi is not. He's no longer reading his book, but is looking at me with his looming eye. "You love her," he says simply as if it's merely fact and not speculation before returning to his book becoming just as engrossed in it as he was before.
I don't love her.
-&-
And now it's New Year's Eve, and I am yet again at Sakura's apartment, but this time alone without the company of the rest of Team 7. She's sitting next to me wearing a little green dress that matches the brilliant color of her eyes but somehow still pales in comparison. She's uncomfortable and I can tell. She's fidgeting, only slightly, but that's what she does when she uncomfortable.
"This really means a lot to me," She smiles that smile she always reserves for me. It's different from the other smiles she has. She has a smile for when she's nervous, and she has a smile for when she's excited. She also has a smile for all of her friends like Ino and Naruto and Shikamaru and Tenten and Kakashi. But the smile she has right at this moment, it's the smile she saves for me, and it makes me burn on the inside.
She hugs me and that catches me off guard. I can feel my face heating up at the touch of her soft skin, and I think I might be blushing. "I just really didn't want to bring in another New Year alone."
And with that, she begins to count down the seconds until the New Year.
10...
She's got this far off look in her eye and she's grinning from ear to ear.
9…
And I think, maybe for this moment, she might be beautiful.
8…
She's staring at the clock on the wall with excitement burning in her eyes.
7…
She's still the same little girl she was when she was 12- finding joy in the simplest of things.
6…
And I realize that maybe she hasn't change all that much over the years.
5…
Though she's stronger and more mature and a lot less annoying,
4…
She still has the same too bright hair and too wide forehead
3…
And she's still reliable and someone I can always count on,
2…
She's still Sakura, and hey she may still even love me,
1…
But I'm still Sasuke, and I don't love her.
Midnight
But I kiss her anyway, and it catches her by surprise, but I don't stop and neither does she because her touch is the most amazing feeling in the world.
It's all over way too soon, but she's still in my arms and she looks at me with questions in her eyes. "Why?" She asks.
And I smirk, "Because nobody wants to be the loser who doesn't get kissed on New Year's."
And she smiles and kisses me again, and I think-
I might. Maybe just a little.
