This was just me wondering why Castiel never remembered anything from being dead. So I wrote this, just to satisfy that question.


He'd never told them what happened, had never mentioned even a word. Perhaps they thought he knew nothing about it, perhaps it didn't occur to the Winchester brothers that he, Castiel remembered what happened after he died.

It had been cold, Castiel remembered feeling cold, which had been mildly alarming seeing as he'd never felt cold before. It was a burning, yet numbing feeling and more then a little unpleasant. Then he'd been spinning, spinning, and he remembered calling out to the Winchester brothers, to Dean, but they weren't here, they weren't anywhere. Castiel hadn't felt them at all. At first he hadn't known why, but then the realization had sunk in. He had died. Lucifer had been walking towards him, seething mad that he'd Molotoved his brother with holy oil, and then… he was here.

For a long time, he spun, knowing that the stretching days down here, wherever he was, was only seconds up on the world of the living. Perhaps, eventually, he would have reached whatever the afterlife held if that indeed was not it (and Castiel had suspected that it wasn't), but before he could he'd heard a voice.

The voice had been everywhere, as loud as thunder, yet as soft as the gentle patter of rain. As terrifying as Lucifer, but as pleasant as the comforting touch of a loved one. Not that Castiel had known of many of these things, and he STILL didn't really know, but he'd known that the voice was God's, that God had chosen him to talk to, and indeed to resurrect. For God had said,

"No, no, no. It is not your time, young angel. As it wasn't last time, it still isn't now." And he had opened his eyes, once more in the Plane of the Living.

"Dean." Had been his first thought and, "Sam," his next. He'd sprung up and teleported back to the scene, but he'd known instantly that it was over. Sam had been gone and a beat-up Dean was on his knees, crying out for his lost brother. There was nothing Castiel could do to save the younger Winchester. So instead he had walked over to Bobby's body and resurrected him with a touch.