this is my first story so critizim welcome but be nice please.

love all :D

Chapter 1

6 months ago

He left me. That was all I could think. Dimitri left me for her. He left me when he said he loved me. He left me when he said he never would. He left me even though he said he would always protect me.

Flashback

I got to training five minutes early for once. Dimitri was already there, but he wasn't setting up. This worried me a little. Then I noticed he wasn't in workout clothes. This really isn't good, something's wrong.

I stood half in, half out of the door of the gym. He sensed me like usual and looked up with his guardian mask in place.

"Come in Rose, I need to talk to you." I did as he said and came in hesitantly

"What is it comrade?" His lips pulled up at the corners at his nickname.

"Roza I'm leaving."

"WH-what? What do you mean you're leaving? Where are you going? Why are going?" I was getting hysterical but his guardian mask just got harder and more focused.

"I'm leaving to be Tasha's guardian. I don't want this anymore. I want a family and Tasha can give me that you can't. I don't love you anymore." He should've just said he didn't want me that would have hurt less.

"What? No, no Dimitri I don't believe you. You said everything was fine. You said we'll figure it out. You said you'd protect me and be with me and you're just leaving with her."

"Rose you have to believe me because it's true. I'm leaving to be Tasha's guardian and to start a family. I don't love you and I don't want to be with you. I'm sorry Roza"

"NO, FUCK YOU DIMITRI BELIKOV. YOU DON'T GET TO BE SORRY AND DON'T EVER CALL ME THAT AGAIN. I HATE YOU. I WISH I'D NEVER MET YOU OR FALLEN FOR YOU. ALL I WAS TO YOU WAS AN EASY PERSON TO GET SEX OUT OF. SO FUCK YOU DIMITRI BELIKOV!" I screeched then ran back to my room with tears rolling down my cheeks.

Flashback end

As I lay crying on my bed all day Lissa sent messages through the bond. 'Where are you?' or 'are you ok?' I just kept crying and when the tears stopped I fell asleep or stared at the wall becoming numb. When school finished for the day there was a knock at my door. I didn't bother getting up it was Lissa and she was coming in any way.

"Rose? Rose, why didn't you come to class today?" when I didn't respond she started looking for me, and found me curled up on my bed. "Rose are you ok?"

She sat down beside me and pulled me around. I sat up and she saw the dried tears and wrapped her arms around me. I started to cry again. The tears just kept coming, the sobs that racked my body got harder and harder. When they finally settled a little Lissa started asking questions.

"Rose what is it? What's got you so upset?" I just shook my head and got up to get some water. "Rosemarie Hathaway what is it that has you crying and being locked in your room all day?" Liss said with a motherly tone.

"I-I-I can't. Liss he's gone, he left when he said he wouldn't. He said he loved me and we could figure it out. But he left me." I said tears running again.

"What, who are you talking about?" Liss asked very confused.

"Dimitri" I whispered.

"What your mentor. Rose I don't understand, what about guardian Belikov? What do you mean he said he lov-"that's when it clicked she understood now. All the signs pieced together in her head I felt it through the bond. "You and guardian Belikov were in love?" she half whispered half yelled at me.

"Yes Liss. We loved each other well I thought we did and now he's left me to be with Natasha Ozera" I said HER name with disgust in my voice but I don't think Lissa noticed. Through the bond I could feel her confusion, anger, sympathy and jealousy. But anger was the strongest, she was angry I didn't tell her, she was angry I kept it from her, angry that I couldn't trust her to tell her.

"Why didn't you tell me? You can trust me rose, why didn't you tell me?"

"I can't believe you Lissa. I've just been rejected by my one and only love, the guy I gave my virginity to and all you want to know is why I didn't tell you? I couldn't because we were trying not to love each other for YOUR safety. I didn't tell you coz we were trying not to love each other for you! There was the age difference and mentor-student thing sure but you want to know the main reason Lissa? We couldn't love each other because if we let ourselves love each other then he would've thrown himself in front of me and not you! So I'm sorry if I didn't tell you that I was in love but I couldn't love him because if I did I'd put you in danger. But once again I've just sacrificed something so your precious royal Moroi life wouldn't be in danger. You know what? FUCK YOU Lissa" I said all this in about two breaths so I was breathing hard as I went and grabbed my bag of clothes and things I'd packed earlier and went out my door. Not listening as Lissa screamed after me to come back. That I couldn't leave her. Ha just watch me you stupid girl.

I walked straight out the gates and down the road to the town and caught a bus to the airport from there I got a plane to London using one of Adrian's credit cards I'd stolen when he wasn't looking. I was going to buy alcohol with it but now I needed it to get away from this stupid school, stupid country and stupid continent.

1 month later

I was still in London. I was working at a bar being a waitress. It wasn't crash hot but it got me enough money to pay the rent and feed myself, that's all I needed. The bond still worked. The first few days after I left I checked on Lissa to see if she was fine. The first few times she was crying and yelling. But then she calmed down and Christian distracted her long enough to forget for awhile. I was glad Christian was there to help her but also envious he could get her to forget me. I stopped checking soon after that. She had moved on I had to do the same.

London was great! I loved it here. I was friends with the bartender. His name was Dillon. He was a dhampir as well. He was bulky build, dark brown/black curly hair that he styled perfectly every day, had brown eyes tan complexion and hot. Not as hot as Dimitri but still hot. Dillon was like a big brother to me. He walked me home every night coz I didn't finish till midnight and even though he knew I could take of myself he still insisted he walk me home.

Also there was Violet my neighbour in the apartments I lived. She was a nice girl a bit older than me and a Moroi but one that has left the court society to live a quiet life amongst humans. She was tall, pale and slim like most Moroi, but she had bright white natural hair with purple streaks through it and she had vibrant ice blue eyes. She was awesome, she was just like me and she could even hold her own food. I swear she ate as much as me and that's a lot.

I was just walking to my apartment door when Violet's opened.

"Hey rose?"

"Yea Violet."

"I was wondering if you wanna come with me to my university graduation ball. It might be boring and I don't know about alcohol and there will be a lot of slow dancing but it would be so much better if you were there with me. But I understand if you don't wanna." She asked with puppy dog eyes she knows I can't resist.

"What night is it?"

"Tomorrow"

"Well I have tomorrow night off, sooo I guess I can come but I don't think I have a dress to go to a fancy ball."

"Yay" she squealed but then turned red in embarrassment "well… uh… I may have bought you a dress hoping that you would come and I knew you wouldn't have anything to wear, but uh yea" she looked down in embarrassment.

"Well then, that's settled I'll see you tomorrow to do hair and make-up and such 'kay?" I said opening my door.

She looked up with a small smile on her face. "Yeah, okay I'll see you then, night Rose."

"Night." as soon as I got to my bed I was asleep.

The next day getting ready

"Come on I'll show you your dress" Violet lead me to her bedroom and into her walk-in closet. Then she pulled out a bag and pulled down the zipper. There hanging in the bag was a blood red dress. It was silk and looked like it would hug my every curve. It was floor length and strapless. It had diamonds running down from the top to the bottom in a swirling pattern. It was beautiful and sexy.

"It's…wow" what? I didn't know what else to say "Where's your dress?" Violet pulled out a second bag and unzipped it. This dress was purple the same as Violets streaks. It was floor length also, with spaghetti straps. It was silk also with light blue diamonds designed in flowers in random spots on the dress. It was beautiful also.

"Wow Violet, there beautiful. Where did you get these? You better have not paid too much."

"No, no, no. It was nothing Rose, don't even think about giving me money. To pay me back you're going to make me beautiful and you're going with me to the ball tonight, that's enough."

Damn she knew me to well. "Okay I won't give you money and I will make you even more beautiful than usual. And I promise I will make tonight a night you'll never forget." With that I winked and went to the bathroom pulling her behind me. I sat her down and started doing her hair, make-up, etc. she did the same when I was finished with her and we inspected ourselves in the mirror.

I now had ringlets falling down pass my shoulders with ruby combs holding my hair from my face. I had smoky eye-shadow with red flecks in it, mascara, eyeliner and foundation. I'd done Violet's hair dead straight with a flick at the bottom. I'd put purple and blue eye-shadow, mascara and foundation. We looked fabulous.

We got into our dresses and strappy heals, grabbed our clutches and made our way down to the limo we had hired to get us there in style. In my clutch I had some alcohol, enough to spike a big punch or knock you out in a small punch. Of course Violet didn't know and she wouldn't figure it out till it was too late.

When we arrived all the guys and girls by the doors stopped talking and looked at us. As I had suspected when I looked at the dress it hugged my every curve. The guys' jaws were on the floor and the girls looked like they were going to rip our heads off in jealousy. I laughed. I hadn't been looked at like that since St. Vlad's. I took Violet's hand and we went inside leaving the drooling guys' behind.

Inside was beautiful. It was covered with candles and on the ceiling were rows and rows of white roses and purple violets. How ironic. An old wrinkly guy in a tux, a teacher I suppose, walked up to the podium and told everyone to be quiet and make their way to their seats. We went and sat at our table and waited from the boring ass speech to be finished with. When it was I went and spiked the punch and left a little for myself to drink straight. When I got back to Violet and our table there was a guy sitting in my seat.

I cleared my throat and he turned around. When he did I was in shock. He looked exactly like me. He had dark brown/black hair, large brown eyes, and nose and lips the same.

"Shit. Who are you and why the fuck do you look like me? What the fuck!"

"Yep definitely her." He muttered then looked back at me "I'm Nick Mazur and you are Rose Hathaway. I look like you because we have the same parents and are twins."

"Well shit."

"Is that all you say?" Nick asked with a smirk, my smirk.

"No I'm just weirded out by you being here and that we look the same and that my mother never told me about you and that I have a brother. So I'm sorry if my lack of wording at this present moment is a bit one syllable. Violet I'm going I'll get a cab see ya later." Then I turned and walked out but only to be followed by Nick. "What do you want?" I growled.

"I think we should talk."

"Yeah I do too. Come on."

At the apartment

I had changed out of the dress and was sweats and a tank top. I was making some dinner when he started talking.

"I'm sure you're confused and angry. But please listen to me before you start to yell. Please?"

"Yea sure, sure shoot."

"Well, I'm Janine and Abe's son your twin brother. Our mother thought it would be best if we never knew of each other or the rest of the world because Janine having one child was enough but two never. So she told Abe to take me and not ever tell anyone I was hers. Just say I was a one night stand dad had with a dhampir who didn't want me. Well Abe did but he always told me not to believe it and he told me the truth about Janine and him and about you as well. As I was growing up at my school in turkey there were rumours' about the great Rose Hathaway and how badass she was and I knew it was you. I told dad I was going to find you and so I went to the academy. When I got there I got told you'd left and that no one knew where you were. So I left and asked people in the town if they'd seen you. Eventually I got to the airport where they'd said you'd got a plane ticket to London and so came here. It took a while to find you here but I did it. Now here I am and I want to ask you do you believe me and if so will you come back with me to my place?"

"Umm… I don't believe the great badass stuff but everything else yes. I can see my mother doing that. And yes I think I will come back with you."

"Cool. Well I'll see you tomorrow at 9am be ready and packed okay."

"Okay, I'll be ready."

Present day.

"How are you everybody!" I yelled into the mike to the crowd in front of us. They all screamed back all I got was your hott! Or sing sing sing! "Alright then, Nick I'm feeling a bit dirty, mind taking a picture?"

And with that the band starting playing and I started singing. Yep that's right Rose Hathaway sings. Since I met nick and left with him to go live him, a lot of things have changed. I'm now a red head, not just a wash out red but a full bright 'cover your eyes!' red head, I also have green eyes from the help of contacts. My fashion sense hasn't changed much but for the concerts I wear strange outfits. At the moment I'm dressed in rainbow stockings, black mini-skirt, red shirt with badass written on it, I'd tied my hair high up on my head but on the side and had 6inch black shoelace-up-to-the-knee boots on. Oh and dorky glasses with no glass.

I could dream of ways to see you
I could close my eyes to dream
I could fantasize about you
Tell the world what I believe
But whenever I'm not with you
It's so hard for me to see
I need to see a picture of you
A special picture just for me, yeah

So take a dirty picture for me
Take a dirty picture
Just take a dirty picture for me
Take a dirty picture
Just send the dirty picture to me
Send the dirty picture
Just send the dirty picture to me
Send the dirty picture

Snap.
Uh.

Whenever you are gone, I just wanna be wit ya
Please don't get me wrong, I just wanna see a picture

Take a dirty picture for me
Take a dirty picture
Take a dirty picture for me
Take a dirty picture

Whenever you are gone, I just wanna be wit ya
Please don't get me wrong, I just wanna see your picture

Take a dirty picture for me
Take a dirty picture
Take a dirty picture for me
Take a dirty picture

The dream of ways to see you
I could close my eyes to dream
Fantasize about this with you
But the way is never seen

Take a dirty picture for me
Take a dirty picture
Take a dirty picture for me
Take a dirty picture
Just send the dirty picture to me
Send the dirty picture
Send the dirty picture to me
Send the dirty picture

Snap
Snap
Snap

Whenever you are gone, I just wanna be wit ya
Please don't get me wrong, I just wanna see your picture

Take a dirty picture for me
Take a dirty picture
Take a dirty picture for me
Take a dirty picture

When you're all alone boy, I got something to give ya
Will ya play along if I take a dirty picture

I'll take a dirty picture for ya
Take a dirty picture
I'll take a dirty picture for ya
Take a dirty picture

Take a dirty picture for me
Take a dirty picture
Take a dirty picture for me
Take a dirty picture
Just send the dirty picture to me
Send the dirty picture
Send the dirty picture to me
Send the dirty picture

Snap, uh
Snap
Snap
Click, click... snap

"This just isn't working. Come on New York! I can't hear you up here. Mexico was better than this." The screams got louder at that. "That's better, now I don't know are ready for the hard stuff?" a chorus of yes's replied. "Okay then but I think I'm going under from all this action!"

Now I will tell you what I've done for you -
50 thousand tears I've cried.
Screaming, deceiving and bleeding for you -
And you still won't hear me.
(Going under)
Don't want your hand this time - I'll save myself.
Maybe I'll wake up for once (wake up for once)
Not tormented daily defeated by you
Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom

I'm dying again

I'm going under (going under)
Drowning in you (drowning in you)
I'm falling forever (falling forever)
I've got to break through
I'm going under

Blurring and stirring - the truth and the lies.
(So I don't know what's real) So I don't know what's real and what's not (and what's not)
Always confusing the thoughts in my head
So I can't trust myself anymore

I'm dying again

I'm going under (going under)
Drowning in you (drowning in you)
I'm falling forever (falling forever)
I've got to break through

I'm...

So go on and scream
Scream at me I'm so far away (so far away)
I won't be broken again (again)
I've got to breathe - I can't keep going under

I'm dying again

I'm going under (going under)
Drowning in you (drowning in you)
I'm falling forever (falling forever)
I've got to break through

I'm going under (going under)
I'm going under (drowning in you)
I'm going under

We continued through the night with more songs. By the end I was tired from dancing around the stage.

"That was the last song New York. We will be at Missoula next. Thank you and goodnight NEW YORK!" I walked down to my dressing room, I had a different room to the guys', and I got changed into some sweats with the band's name down the side and a black tank top. Hey if I was going to be stuck in a plane I was going to be comfortable. We all piled into the limo and started for the airport. In the band was my brother Nick on guitar, Matty on drums, Daniel on bass and his girlfriend Michaela on keyboard or mixer, depending on the song. We all lived in the one house in Turkey. It was a five story house with an attachment apartment out the back. Ground floor was the main area, lounge, kitchen, gym, etc, second floor is Matty's, third floor is Nick's, fourth floor is Daniel's and Michaela's and fifth floor is all mine. The apartment out the back is dad's whenever he comes over. He said and I quote 'I do not want to be sleeping in a house of horny rock singers' so we built him a house.

But we weren't flying there. Nope. We were heading towards Missoula, Montana for our next concert. I hoped to god that the school wouldn't allow the Moroi or dhampirs to the concert but I doubted it. I've told the band everything about what happened and that I didn't want to relive it. They understood and said they were there if I needed them. The band was really my family not just people I sing with but brothers that fight for their lil sis' even though I'm not little when I land them on their asses which is regularly.

"Hey Rose?" Nick whispered. We were on the plane now. Everyone was asleep.

"Ugh… what it better be good I was sleeping." I replied with a groan

"It is sorta. I just wanted to talk to you about performing tomorrow. Are you sure your okay with it. I mean they are going to be there we know that. Were worldwide it would be a surprise if they didn't know who we were and that you are part of us."

"Nick I'm fine I promise. Just if you see them with me restrain me. I ain't gunna be responsible for my actions if I see HIM."

"Okay, just as long as you're sure you'll be okay and it won't mess with ya"

"I'll be fine Nick. Now go back to sleep. You now I need at least ten hours before I'm functional."

He laughed at that but turned around and fell back asleep. I tried to go back to sleep but I couldn't. All I could think was what Nick said 'they are going to be there'. I sighed. I really don't want to see them but then again I did. I haven't seen then in 6 months, I've missed talking to Liss about anything and everything, or bickering with Christian and even Adrian's smartass comments and sex innuendos. But I knew that if I saw them I would want to stay especially if we talked and made up but no I won't do that to the guys' they are my family now not them I left them I'm not going to go back like nothing happened. No I told myself no going back this is my life now.