It didn't hurt anymore, but you could still see where the blade pieced your stomach and caused you to almost bleed out in the living room of the man you had been tailing. If Coulson hadn't found you... It wasn't something you wanted to think about.

You regarded May coolly from the medical bay as she talked to Fitz about something or the other, you could read Fitz's lips easily but May's back was to you. Fitz was talking about the Monolith, something you had only heard of in passing from your time locked up by Hydra when they first revealed themselves to S.h.i.e.l.d. Your at the time boyfriend Grant Ward had supposedly saved you from your confines and brought you back to HQ, only now you knew it had all just been a set up so they you'd tell him what you knew. When you found out Ward was Hydra it had taken a long time to process, you thought he had loved you, but he was just using you.

So you changed your name and moved to England to do contract work under the radar, that is, until Maria Hill herself had contacted you about joining the new S.h.i.e.l.d, it was also quite a shock to you to find out Coulson was the new director and that Fury had been killed in action. Part of you didn't believe he was gone, you'd spent quite a bit of time with him the year he was your S.O, before you were handed over to Melinda May to be trained and assessed. Compared to Fury she was a treat.

But still, your years in the academy were some of the best in your life, you met great people, Grant included, and it still broke your heart to think about how he betrayed you. You'd promised him the last time you saw him that you'd stop him, whatever it took.

Which is coincidently how you'd ended up bleeding to death in an apartment living room in Texas, following a lead on Grant. He had been there, you'd seen as much, your heart had practically stopped when you saw him walking down the street, he had barely changed in the year or so since his turn to the dark side.

That was why it came as a shock to you when Coulson came in to deliver some surprising news. "Agent (Y/L/N)" He said, striding towards you as you were fastening your laces and putting on your black jacket. "I have a proposition for you." That didn't sound good.

"I'm flattered really." You told him. "But I'm still recovering." May walked in behind him and gave you a once over, for some reason she had grown cold towards you. When you had told her as much she had made a snap about Grant and you had almost taken a cheese knife to her throat, for whatever reasoning had, she still believed that you were loyal to him and as a result, Hydra.

"Melinda." You nodded casually, her face was still blank and unreadable.

"(Y/N)" She nodded back, Coulson looked between the two of you.

"If you've got the reunion out of the way, I'd like you to look at this." Coulson handed you a cream coloured file and waited for you to open it. Inside there was a list of names and places.

"What is this?" You asked, looking over the names.

"We believe we have narrowed down a list of possible places Ward could be." Coulson explained, placing his hands behind his back.

"Based on what?" You asked, there must have been 30 to 40 names on this list, give or take.

"Based on the phone call we received from him moments ago." May said before Coulson could. "After your little careless mishap over the border Ward decided to give us a call to see if you were okay. It seems the man who stabbed you, Kurt Kahn, was not authorised to approach you. He handed us the man at an anonymous drop off about 23 miles from here. One of our agents picked him up." You didn't know what to say, Grant didn't care about you, not anymore, you didn't even know if he ever did but still...

"Anything else?" You asked, taken a back. Coulson and May glanced at one another before Coulson drew a phone out of his blazer pocket.

"He said he'd call back on this and he wouldn't talk unless you were on the other end." He gave you the phone screen up. "Is that okay with you? I don't think I need to remind you that whatever Ward did to you, he's done much worse to other people and we have to stop him." You knew. Turning the phone towards you you held it in your hand and waited. Just as you were about to ask when he had said he'd call back it rang. You almost jumped, but you didn't want to give May the satisfaction of seeing you rattled.

"Hello?" You pressed the answer button and held it to your ear.

There was a relieved sigh from the other end and you instantly recognised Grant's voice. "(Y/N). It's good to hear your voice."

"Grant." You said as nicely as possible, though your tone still managed to sour and menacing.

You heard him smile, "I always liked it when you called me that, no one else ever did." As much as you hated to admit it, hearing his voice was actually nice.

You looked to Coulson, who was tracing the call. It said two minutes on the screen, easy enough. "I was told you wanted to make sure I was okay." You tried.

"I did." He sounded sincere. "When I found out the agent on my tail was you I ordered my men not to make contact and to let you go one your way. Of course, someone was bound not to listen, but I didn't think you'd end up in the state you did."

"You care?" You couldn't help the anger slipping out. He hadn't said a word to you in over a year and now he calls and acts like he misses you? No, it wasn't going to happen.

"I never stopped, I always did. I know you think I was using you to get intel on Hydra and I'm not going to lie to you, that's what it was at first, but not for long. I felt something for you I've never felt before. When you called me a monster I didn't know what I was going to do." Another one of his pitiful sob stories.

"What do you want?" You tried not to dwell on what he said.

"I want to see you, face to face, I want a chance to explain what I did and what I'm doing now. I want you, just you." Grant said in all honesty. And being honest yourself if you were alone you would have agreed, part of you had always wanted to know, what made Grant Ward work, what were his motives, his reasoning's. It made you curious, and once upon a time he had made you happy. "I want your forgiveness." He went on. "I want you to look at me the way you used to, I'm begging you for a chance." You bit your lip and looked to Coulson and May.

"Grant-" You began.

"(Y/N). There are 20 seconds left till this call is traced." Your heart stopped, how did he know? "I'm betting Coulson and May are with you now, trying to make you talk for time. If you let these last seconds tick away, fine, I'll know I don't deserve another chance, you won't see or hear from me again. You have my word. But if you want to see me, like I want to see you. Then hang up now." 5...4...3...2... You hung up and threw the phone on the hospital bed you were sitting on. Coulson just looked disappointed.

"That was our chance." He snapped. "Do you know how selfish that was? We could have had him." May was actually smiling, to your amazement.

"No, we still have him." She said, your ears pricked.

"I don't follow." Coulson said angrily.

"She hung up." May began to explain and I watched the situation unfold. "Now he'll try and meet with her, we've still got a chance at catching him and now he thinks she's on his side." Coulson looked like a child at Christmas.

You held back the urge to scream, part of you knew that that plan was sound, it was one of the reasons you hung up to begin with, but another part of you wanted to look into those puppy dog eyes and never let him go again. You wanted to give him another chance, and that was what you were going to do.