Hey, this is CoffeeshopSoundtrack, submitting my first story! Yay! It also happens to be my first VA fanfiction, so bear with me. This takes place post-SK, so I wouldn't read this until you finish the book!

Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Academy, I'm just a fan with big ideas! Also, the title and the lyrics belong to The Rocket Summer, from the song "Do You Feel?"

DO YOU FEEL?

CHAPTER ONE.

"Do you feel / The weight of the world singing sorrow / Or to you is it just not real
Cause you got your own things / Yeah we all have our things I guess"

Lissa rubbed her hands on her cold arms, creating friction in order to warm herself up. It didn't help. Even if her arms were slowly warming, her insides were cold – freezing, even. How could Rose just up and leave her right now? Now when she needed her the most? Lissa let her tears fall down without abandon. Her mind was swirling with thoughts, memories, her dashed hopes for the future. Her fist curled around the beads Rose had given back to her. She felt the cross digging into her skin and only squeezed it tighter until... She released the bracelet a little and stopped to examine her hand. The edge of the cross had broken through her skin, drawing blood. She sighed and switched the bracelet into the other hand, not wanting to stain it with her blood.

Finally, the gravity of the situation hit her. It felt like a wave of sadness that knocked her over. She almost fell down where she was in the middle of campus and cried. But, she knew she couldn't. She curled her hand around the bracelet carefully and ran towards the chapel. It was too early for anyone to be there, and she could sneak into the attic without trouble.

She slipped in silently and climbed up to the attic without being noticed. The tears wouldn't stop coming. She flung herself into the small room and crawled away from the sunlight. Finally settled, she started to calm down a bit. Her blurry vision cleared and she took in her surroundings. She hadn't been here in a while and... everything was gone. The change was a shock to Lissa and sparked her tears again. She curled herself into a small ball and cried. Sobbed. The sobs rocked her entire body and she felt like she was having a seizure.

Lissa sat there in her ball of self-pity for what seemed like, and probably was, hours. Finally, the tears stopped coming but the hole in her heart kept getting bigger. She felt exhausted all of a sudden and somehow fell asleep on the cold, hard floor of the attic.

Her dream formed into a beach of sorts. She looked around wildly, knowing what was coming next. "Adrian, I know you're here," she said in a soft voice. Called out, he walked towards her. "What do you want?" she asked impatiently.

"Where are you, Lissa?" he asked.

She rolled her eyes. "I'm fine. I'm with Rose," she lied.

"You're a horrible liar. I know Rose is gone," he told her. She turned around and started walking away from him. "Where do you think you're going?" he called, not moving.

"Far away from you," she called back. He was by her side in a few seconds. She stopped and ran a hand through her hair. "Get the hell out of my dream. Right now," she said.

"Or what?" he asked.

Lissa took a deep breath and willed herself to wake up. The dream faded into black and she opened her eyes to find herself in the attic – alone. She threw the bracelet hard against the wall across from her. It bounced off and came skidding to stop just at her feet again. Resigning to the fact that she couldn't get rid of it, she picked it up again. Looking lustfully at the sharp edge of the cross, she fought the urge. She couldn't... She wouldn't...

But she did.

Five minutes later she was crying again, from the pain of scraping the cross on her skin over and over again. Finally, she drew blood again on her wrist. Seeing the blood frightened her. She paled and held her wrist tightly to stop the bleeding.

She jumped as the door to the attic opened again and scooted away from the opening. Christian climbed up into the attic and looked at her sadly. "Hey," he said simply.

Lissa turned her body away from him. "Please go away," she gasped. He ignored her request and came closer to her. She crawled away from him and into the corner, her back still facing him. "Go away, Christian!" she yelled.

He paused. "Are you okay?"

"NO! GO AWAY!" she cried, bursting into tears again. Her tears hit her open wound and the salt caused it to burn. She gasped in pain and cried harder.

Christian came closer to her and started, "Lissa—"

She held up her wrist to him, the blood dripping down her pale arm slowly. "Please... just go away..." she sobbed. She tried to pull her wrist back into her, but Christian grabbed hold of it. He ripped off part of his shirt and wrapped it tenderly around the cut. Finally, Lissa turned to face him. He embraced her and she cried into his shirt. "Rose is gone," she sobbed. "She's just gone."

A FEW MONTHS LATER

Lissa straightened the cap on her head. She sighed to herself and looked around her once more. Christian squeezed her hand, in silent reassurance. "She promised me she'd be back," she kept telling him.

"Maybe..." he started, but she glared at him, already knowing what he was going to say.

Rose. Rose Hathaway. I can't read your mind. But I know you can still hear me. Please. I need you. It's graduation, Rose. I don't even care if you aren't really here. But... well, never mind. Bye. Lissa's eyes stung with tears. She bit her tongue and tried to make the tears stop before somebody noticed. Christian squeezed her hand once more before he left to go get in his proper spot in line. The rest of her class prepared in a similar way, getting into line and straightening their gowns. With one last desperate look, Lissa resigned herself to the fact that she wasn't coming.

And she couldn't care anymore.

The first few rows of her classmates proceeded into the auditorium slowly, to the pace of the graduation music. She finally walked, feet in time with the Moroi beside her. She couldn't be bothered by looking around. Her eyes focused straight ahead. She didn't feel anymore. Part of her, more like most of her, had left with Rose. Hell, for all Lissa knew, Rose was dead by now.

She wasn't even sad anymore.

The graduation ceremony flew by without much notice by Lissa. The only sign of emotion came when she faked a smile to Kirova as she was handed her diploma. When the rest of her classmates let out a cheer and threw up their hats, she simply removed hers and looked down sadly. Her eyes found Adrian's, who was looking at her carefully. He broke their gaze and left the room, going outside. Christian came up behind her and she faked excitement for him. She didn't want to hurt him by keeping him down during this happy time.

He kissed her lightly. "Hey, so I have a question for you," he said as the two started walking outside.

"Where are we going?" she asked him.

"Just outside. Don't want too many people around when I ask it," he told her, slipping his hand into hers. She nodded and the two walked in silence until they were out in the courtyard. Lissa could see the nervousness in him as he let go of her hand. "Okay, don't freak out," he said. Taking a deep breath, he fished through his pockets. Finding what he wanted, he pulled something from it and got down on one knee. "Lissa?" She knew what was coming. Her eyes widened in surprise and anticipation. He unfolded his hand and produced a beautiful, silver ring. "Will you marry me?"

Lissa felt a wave of emotion come over her. Happiness, shock, excitement, surprise, scared, nervous... sad. Sad that Rose wasn't here to see this moment. Sad that she couldn't show her true emotions. Sad that she was letting Rose and Christian down. All this emotion overwhelmed her. Her world starting spinning. She heard Christian say her name a few times vaguely, but soon her vision blurred and her head hit the ground.

When her eyes opened, three people crowded over her in concern. Christian, of course, Dr. Olendzki, and Adrian. They all let out a collective sigh as she opened her eyes. She sat up suddenly. "YES!" she cried out. She threw her arms around Christian. He let out a chuckle and held her tightly. "Sorry I fainted on you," she apologized. She kissed his cheek and let him go. This sudden burst of emotion seemed to come from nowhere.

"Lissa," Adrian said. "There's someone I want you to meet." He stepped aside and revealed a small Moroi girl. She looked to be a little younger than Lissa. "This is Sveta, she uses Spirit too." Lissa extended a warm smile to the girl. She looked down sadly. Frowning a little, Lissa felt a little bit of happiness shoot through her. Adrian looked down at the girl and said, "She can control emotions." The girl lifted up her head and smiled sadly up at Lissa. She gasped a little unintentionally. Through the months, Lissa had been able to learn to read auras with great effort. And the dark, pitch black shadow that surround the girl scared Lissa half to death.

Thanks for reading! Please review! -- AB