Something to Hold on For

Hermione tugged at her mitten; it was late October and it was starting to get quite chilly in the evenings.

"I don't even know how they let you buy adult sizes with your hands so tiny," teased Ron leaning over and putting his giant hand against her petite one to show the contrast.

Hermione smiled, "My hands are normal, Ronald. It's actually quite the surprise they make them in your size either." She stuck her nose into the air but was grinning all the same.

"Blokes are supposed to be large," he waggled his eyebrow suggestively.

"And girls are supposed to be small and delicate," she retorted, putting a strain on the last word.

"Well you're certainly not delicate," Ron replied, pretending to look her up and down with her wild hair and worn clothes, "I don't know about you but a girl taking down three death eaters with one spell while having her arm sprained in five places hardly counts as delicate."

"Oh, Ron…" Hermione weekly replied, grinning and rolling her eyes.

They were sitting by the fire, trying to warm themselves up. Traveling had been hard for all three of them, and especially now when they were trudging through the mountainous woods. Right now both Ron and Hermione were both trying to relax before the next day awoken with its unknown dangers lurking.

"Ron…I have a question." She turned her brown eyes towards him, hoping that just maybe if she caught his eye contact they could have a normal, civilized conversation.

Ron's stare remained on the fiery embers, "Let's hear it."

By his tone, she already knew she would get no where. Boys can be so unattached sometimes.

"Do you think…if we went back to Hogwarts…everything would be different?" She tried to phrase her question as diplomatically as possible, hoping to slowly bring on the topic of conversation she was eager for.

Ron shrugged, "Yeah…I guess…Why you ask?"

"I don't know, it's just…" she gave him a sidelong glance, "since Ginny and Harry aren't working out right now, but they're obviously meant to be. Maybe, other things would have happened that were…meant to be?"

He did not respond right away, leaving the last three words hanging in the air. "I mean, sure, you would've been head girl and gotten all your NEWTS and Gryffindor would have won the house cup and all. But, this is obviously more important… what we're doing now."

She felt her heart sink. Even if he had not got what she had been getting at his view on that matter was pretty clear: If something had been meant to happen between them it did not matter anymore because fighting you-know-who was more important.

She swallowed hard and put down her cup. "Your right, I should not be thinking that way," she yawned, "Look I'm going to head to bed." She could hear her clipped tone but sometimes it was just so hard to hide the resentment in her voice.

"Hermione, don't make me ask you what's wrong," he pulled her back slightly, grinning goofily at her, "Look, ima' boy don't expect me to read minds."

She felt herself force a smile. Should she tell him? Telling a boy your full feelings on any situation never turns out well.

"I just felt like…" she was choosing each word delicately, "like our friendship could have been different if we weren't stuck in this extreme situation."

He thought about this for a second, "Could it?" He said it not in a mocking tone, but as if he wanted this new theory explained to him.

"Well, yes, I mean I could have read last year events wrong, but I-" She stopped herself, she was talking too much.

Ron looked thoroughly confused now, "Hermione, I have no idea what you want from me with this…"

This was typical; boys always want to say the right thing but really have not the faintest clue on where even to begin.

"I-wish-we-could-be-something-more-then-friends." The words came out in rapid succession before she even had even time to ponder the stupidity of putting her feelings out on the line.

"Oh," came his voice, all she could see was the back of his head.

"Oh?" she squeaked. Her voice always got high when she got upset or panicky.

"I had no idea…I mean…er…I did…a little…but…er…" Ron tumbled over his words. If this were any other situation, Hermione would have laughed.

"Well if you don't, if you want to be just friends…" she trailed off hoping against hopes that he would say the right thing for once.

"You fancy me?" his voice cracked; he was finally looking at her.

"What about you?" she asked avoiding his eye contact that she had dearly wanted only five minutes ago.

"I don't know…er…isn't it obvious?" She could tell he was extremely uncomfortable with this conversation.

"Not really, Ronald," she said slightly accusatory. "I really should be heading off to bed." She hoped they he would call her back again. But, just like a typical boy, he let her go.

"Night," Ron ruffled her hair playfully like the conversation had not really happened. But, he squeezed a little harder then usual in his good night hug.

Maybe one day, boys will actually know what to say to make our heart melt instead of grunts and avoiding confrontation. But until then, Hermione would hold that little phrase Isn't it Obvious around in the back of her mind and know she had something to hold on for.