/ alright, so on my fanfiction maiden voyage I am going to do a fanfiction that I have been AGONIZING to wrote. This will take place during season 3 when some of our favourites took off to Neverland. I am so sick of Belles vanilla ass ruining our dear Rumples confidence that I am hooking him up with a very confident very loving lady of my own creation. A woman from Rumples past he had long thought dead, a woman that welcomes him and his dark side, a woman that has a very dark side of her own. This bitch is the business and speaking of business her and Rumple get down to a lot of it. Hell yeah nookie is going down throughout this fanfic. PLEASE give it the benefit of the doubt for now. All we want is our favourite wee man happy so I am rewriting his past to make it so. LET'S DO THIS. /
Neverland, Rumple swore to himself and whatever gods that were paying attention that he would never set foot on this hideous land again… It sickened him to his core to know that he was literally going to his death. Young Henry would be his undoing but he didn't care, he was trying so hard to be good… So hard to ignore the darkest part of himself…It hurt his heart knowing Belle would never truly love all of him. He was the dark one, no matter how hard he repressed it he would always be the dark one. He only wished that she would love him as he is instead of the man she thinks he is. He was a man once, yes. But he was man no more and she failed to see that.
He had already made the conscious decision to abandon the rest of the merry crew of his greatest foes aboard the Jolly Roger but something halted him… He wanted to get Henry back of course, he would honour his son and protect his grandchild from the evil clutches of Peter Pan. Annoying little bastard. It was just… As the ship came to a halt he felt something… Something so familiar… Like a scent one smells that brings back a childhood memory, or a song that makes one reminisce about the past. This wasn't the allure of his grandchild pulling him in like a magnet to metal… This was something else entirely… There was someone else here… "Feeling a little nervous are we mate?" Hooks condescending tone rang from behind him, clearly the concern and confusion he was feeling was evident on his face. Biting back the venom of the words he really wanted to say to him he merely smiled his best fake smile "oh on the contrary, it's always nice to visit a land where I am back in prime physical condition, dearie" he said the echo of his past impish self slithering into his voice as he dropped his cane at the pirates feet his leg back to its former glory.
He was not one to involve himself in the childish arguments of the saviour and Regina but after a good two hours of wandering aimlessly about the treacherous landscapes of Neverland listening to the two mothers bicker like school children with Snow and her shepherd prince trying to play devil's advocate Rumple had just about enough. He opened his mouth to give them the tongue lashing of the century when the continual thorn in his side bet him to it. "Ladies, we are not going to find dear little Henry with all this angry bickering. Nightfall is coming we need to make a camp. Unless you slags like an audience when you fight, I am happy to oblige Emma looks lovely when she's angry" Hook said with that sickeningly charming glint in his eye. "Don't call my daughter a slag you fiendish pirate!" Charming exclaimed pointing his sword at him with steely determination. "Oh gods kill me now" Rumple grumbled under his breath pinching the bridge of his nose in exasperation. The temptation to put them all under a sleeping spell for a few hours consumed him… He could feel the purple smoke forming around his hands, the sweet caress of his precious power goading him on. But he stopped, he was trying to resist this part of himself, he had to deny himself this pleasure unless he wanted to feel the dark cloak of loneliness clutch him once more. He let the smoke fade away, almost feeling guilty for denying it the pleasure of shutting up the shouting hairless apes around him. He knew just how in tune him and his precious darkness was in the next ten seconds when a grubby little lost boy sprung from the bushes grabbing the saviour in an iron grip a blunt but by no means useless blade held firmly at her throat. He smiled secretly to himself, silence at last… It may have been a tense silence but he felt he should thank the lost boy for ending the hideous noise of them all screeching like haggard old witches.
"My my, we do love when family come to visit" the boy whispered menacingly his eyes meeting each and every one of them. He could have been no more than 15… Well he appeared no more than 15. The saviour was tensed against him everyone inching their hands for their weapons. "Ah ah, less of that now chaps" the boy whispered pressing the blade harder into the soft skin of her throat. "I am here on Pans orders, our newest member is most happy here. Henry has no need for family anymore. Go home now while he is still allowing it." Ah yes, Rumple knew all too well about the persuasions of Peter Pan. He probably had Henry under some sort of trance with that damn music of his. She knew all of that irritating boys pathetic little tricks and he would not fall prey to them. "This is ridiculous" Regina said a fireball appearing in her hand ready to crush the little ant in a second. All the pure of heart annoyances at once began to protest the saviour included. He rolled his eyes siding with the evil queen on this one, he was seconds away from turning the boy into a snail and crushing him with his boot. That's when he felt it again… What was that?! It was like déjà vu but stronger… It halted his entire thought process as he found himself looking behind him in paranoia.
Then, like a bullet from a gun something shot passed the group causing everyone to collectively jump. Seconds later the boy fell to the ground a poisoned arrow lodged right between his eyes. Naturally he felt all eyes turn judgementally to him. "It wasn't me" he said plainly holding his hands up in mock surrender. "It was me" a feminine voice called from the trees above them, it had a foreign twang to it, Romanian… Or maybe Russian… It was familiar. So damn familiar. Everyone looked around cautiously weapons poised and ready thinking it was another of pans tricks. Seconds later someone landed gracefully from the trees landing directly in the middle of the group. "Oh god" Regina piped up rolling her eyes in exasperation. She had her back to him but he already knew beyond reasonable doubt his was a trick from Pan, he was playing mind games, he was playing mind games with Rumple and Rumple alone.
His heart felt like it was shattering into a million pieces as he looked at her slender back, hidden by fiery red locks that ran down to her waist in a mass of loose curls. "And, who are you exactly?" Hook piped up as turned around to face him and Rumple a bow and arrow held tightly in her long pale fingers. She was dressed in a pair of tight red leather pants and a black corseted shirt that gripped her slender waist ever so slightly. She was pale, as pale as ivory and her eyes were the brightest most inhuman blue one could imagine. An audible gasp was seen pass through her plump rose tinted lips as her eyes connected with Rumples. She could have been no older than 25 but on an island where no one ever grew up she was surely much older. "She's a trick" Rumple said his mouth suddenly bone dry. "How dare you I am no such thing you idiot man!" she exclaimed that thick melodic accent warming his soul and his cold dead heart in seconds. "This is a mind game, this woman died centuries ago" he said, although he knew she was an illusion he could not take his gaze from her, his hands itched to cup her sweet delicate face, to touch his forehead to hers and feel the hole in his heart heal in an instant. "I'm sorry… But why would pan send someone to kill one of his lost boys? That makes zero sense Gold" David piped up his sword still cautiously pointed at her, something Rumple on instinct wanted to rectify by breaking his wrist.
The female put her hands on her hips looking Rumple indignantly in the eyes, oh that look. That look she used so often on him once that it was enough to bring him to his knees. Pan would hang for this the soulless little bastard. "I died? You did not see me die. What a crass assumption to make. Who told you that? I have been rotting on this island, an island full of angry children in the same outfit for YEARS!" She exclaimed, he couldn't help it. A smile curved on the corner of his lips. Even if this wasn't real. He enjoyed it. He missed her fiery words. How unafraid of him she was. Fuck, he missed her. This was going to end him. "You know how shallow I am, how could you leave me here without as much as a dress to give me some variation" she scolded him. "You are not REAL!" He exclaimed. "Oh yes that's right I am an evil illusion dreamed up by a grotesque boy. Well riddle me this, you cannot touch pans illusions so touch me gold spinner. Touch me and then apologise and I will consider leaving you with your balls." He could hear hook stifle a laugh at her last comment "illusion or not I like the cut of this ones jip" he said eyeing her up and down cautiously. The usually infuriatingly loud Charming's were as quiet as mouse. Regina had gone out of sight and the saviour was so concentrated on keeping her weapon pointed firmly at the new arrivals head that words evaded her.
When the fiery haired beauty realised he was glued to his spot she took matters into her own hands. Brazenly stepping towards him her eyes never left his. His breathing quickened in his chest, was this really happening. It couldn't be, no, she died. This wasn't real, then why was he so full of hope. Why the fuck was he pining so hard to feel her lips beneath his that his body was instinctively leaning towards her. Their faces were millimetres apart, the tension in the group suddenly became uncomfortable, everyone knew that this was a moment meant for no one but them. Yet they felt endeared to look on, dying to know the outcome of the mysterious new arrival. "My god you got old" she whispered her cool breath ghosting over his lips making his eyes fall shut at the sensation of her over his face once more. "No matter… I always told you that you would make a handsome older man. I was right" she whispered closing the gap between them their lips collided in a brilliant fashion a moan of disbelief leaving his lips as his hands reached up to cup her delicate face. The world melted away, the ground beneath them felt like it was shaking. Her hot breath filling his mouth, their lips agonizing to be closer and closer. Her hands bunched into the leather of his vest wanting to be under his skin practically. When they eventually pulled away he looked at her with glistening tears in his eyes his nimble fingers tracing each feature on her face over and over a ghost of a smile forming on the corner of his lips. "Grainne, my Grainne." He whispered his forehead touching hers his hands refusing to let her go. In truth he forgot about the other nitwits staring at them with their mouths hanging open. It was her that realised first the uncomfortable situation they found themselves in. "Rumple" she whispered, oh… His name on her lips was like a prayer. His hand wrapped around her waist refusing to let her go even for a moment. If he was being honest he wanted to take her and disappear back to Storybrooke where she would be safe, and with him… Forever. "What exactly is going on?" Snow asked unable to keep her optimistic little mouth shut a moment longer. "Um… Well, this is Grainne" Rumple said in a somewhat coy tone. Things were about to get very complicated… "And who exactly are you Grainne?" The saviour said evidently still cautious but at least relaxed enough to lower her weapon. Grainne smirked her body staying firmly pressed against Rumples "I suppose that was rather rude of me, Grainne MacAirt is the name. I am Rumples wife"
/ DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUN, I will eventually fill in the plot holes I am purposefully poking in the OUAT storyline but trust me this is gonna get juicy as fuck boys and girls. Also, next chapter is gonna be smut city. Ever heard of sex in the city? Well sex in the jungle is coming your way and hot damn its gonna be kinky as hell so keep that in your pocket. Until tomorrow my dears! I hope my maiden voyage was a success! /
