Title: Broken 1/?

Author: GEM

Feedback: Please send it good or bad written: 3/21/06

Rated: M

Word count: 606

Story Timeline: Season 2 Pre-mini

Category: Drama/Angst

Focus: Lee

Summary: "I didn't want to come back alive".

Spoiler: Resurrection Ship 2 and Black Market

Lee Adama sat in the pilot's locker room. In less than an hour Lieutenant Lee "Apollo" Adama would launch in the blackbird and destroy the Resurrection Ship's FTL drive. Then he would return to the Pegasus- commonly known as hell where he would back Kara up.

Lee still couldn't believe the words his father had spoken just a day earlier. It seemed impossible that the President or his father would go to such lengths but then again they all had heard the rumors about the Pegasus and her civilian fleet. Lee sat on the bench staring at his gloves and sidearm.

That still didn't make what they were going to do right.

His head needed to be on this mission and it wasn't. It was miles and months away. The transfer to the Pegasus quickly changed him. He had been busted back for no apparent reason other than the Admiral was imposing previously paid sins on him. It made him unsure of his future in the military. He was lost in a personal battle with memories. Every time he closed his eyes the only thing he saw was her with tears in her eyes standing in the student union on the college campus, the only thing he felt was the softness of her skin against his hands.

It had been months since he thought of her but this hell brought back images from the depths of his mind. He wanted to die. He didn't want to experience those feeling every again. He should never have said what he said to her or done what he did to her.

"Black Bird and Resurrection ship squadrons to Briefing room 1 in five minutes." Lee stood up and zipped his flight suit and then closed his locker before walking to the briefing room.

----

The mission was easy enough. Jump in, take out the FTL drive and come home. Lee jumped in fired his missile and came over the wireless just in time. "Starbuck, Apollo, targets FTL is history." He was looking back at the explosion and made a rookie mistake he ran into some debris. He had just enough time to eject.

He floated freely watching the battle rage around him. He wasn't meant for this. He should have quit while he had the chance. He had been successful and then in a matter of days had that accomplishment taken away. He was about to let a person he cared for down again. He couldn't get anything right. He notice a pinprick hole in his flight suit. He was losing Oxygen. He coved the hole with his hand and continued to watch and wait. Lee found the experience surprisingly peaceful. They were calling. He could hear Dee calling but he couldn't answer he didn't want to answer.

He was back on Caprica floating in the east side lake and it was peaceful. The day was bright and beautiful this was where he wanted to stay. This was where he belonged.

He came back for a moment. They were still calling but others were calling louder, so he let go and allowed the air to leak from his suit. "I'm sorry Kara." They were calling louder now, they were all standing on the bank by the lake. He wanted to go to them Zac, his mother and Adriana, sweet, lovely Adriana.

----

Kara just didn't get it. He didn't want to come back alive. He wanted to go to her. He should have never let her go. He should have gone after her. He wanted to sink into Adriana warm embrace and be happy and forget this hell they were all living now.