A/N: Hello! This starts off near the end of episode 1x13 "Valentine's Day" and changes some things. So many fics focus on Ness smut, but I think their personal chemistry is so cute that that doesn't have to be the main deal at all... :)
MEANINGLESS
Cliff the intern storms out from the office with a triumphant look on his face. Quitting his job, off to spend time with his birds. What a fool, Nick thinks, and empties his own glass of champagne as he pulls himself up from the floor where he's been sitting for the past hours.
Julia the lawyer stands gobsmacked in the doorway, at loss for words at the sudden situation. She turns to Nick with a questioning look, not with a positive edge to it, and he sighs and downs what is left in Cliff's glass as well.
His conversation with the young intern this Valentine's Night made him think. Think hard, overthinking things even. It was hard to unthink them.
"Point of the story is," he had told Cliff a few minutes ago, "I looked around at my life and I realized that I didn't want to work for somebody else my whole life."
Now he looks his girlfriend straight in the eyes, her big dark irises blaming him for what will mean more work for her on an evening where she's already running overtime. But he knows at this point that she wouldn't have time for him today even if her intern hadn't had a sudden moment of inspiration. That's what they are like, him and her, Nick and Julia. She had taken the path he had diverted from, she had chosen the life he had opted out of.
And he didn't want any more regrets, if he could help it.
ooOoo
Half an hour later, he enters the loft, alone. He supposes Schmidt or Jess might be home, probably busy with their Valentine victories, and decides to make an effort to be quiet. Not that he cares about Schmidt, but something within him doesn't want to disturb Jess's ventures. She deserves to be happy and have some fun for a change, without having to consider her roommates on the other side of her door. Pictures float up in his tired mind, pictures of Jessica and a faceless man doing things he shouldn't be picturing at all. Shoving the images aside, he heads for the kitchen for an evening snack that leans more on the salty side rather than the sugary stuff he's been constantly feeding himself with while waiting for Julia.
Movement ahead of him makes him nearly jump in surprise. The next second he realizes that it's only Jess. Fully dressed, in the kitchen. Well, not the kitchen, to be precise. She's hovering outside of Schmidt's door, holding something under her arm. Her hair looks even longer and more gleaming than usual, and it's of course simply because it's the only thing gleaming on her in the faint light from the nighttime loft, but he catches himself smiling as he watches her from behind for a second.
Longer than a second would have been creepy, so he makes himself known quickly enough.
"Hey Jess, what are you doing?"
Apparently this is his turn to surprise her, because she literally jumps at the sound of his voice, turns around and drops her item on the floor. Not just one item, it turns out. A whole box full of items. Specifically… condoms.
A moment of silence passes by, as he tries to process what he's seeing. His eyes are widening and his hand is rising, and she fumbles for words, with nervous laughs in between every breath.
"Were you…?"
"No."
"With Schmidt?!"
"No! No, I was holding those but I…"
She seems to gives up when his mouth becomes too large and round, and just shuts herself up as she dives to the floor, desperately trying to scoop up all the spilled condom packages back into her big box.
Nick is perplexed, to say the least, and can only blink as he watches her frantic movements below him. Was this what Schmidt had planned all along? As Nick and Winston went away on their own Valentine dates, Schmidt would outmaneuver Cece and manipulate Jess into thinking that he should be her first one-night stand? Fury swelled up in him, mixed in with huge disgust, and a hint of jealousy.
No, wait what?
"Oh my god," he spits out in a shocked response to that last thought. But Jess clearly interprets it as being aimed at her.
"Schh," she says urgently, cheeks red with embarrassment as she crawls up and pokes a hard finger into his chest. "Don't ever speak of this again!"
"And why do you have so many condoms?" his mouth says, because that's the thought that somehow leaks from his brain at this time, before he shakes his head hard. "And with Schmidt?!"
"Schh, I was feeling twirly!" Jess moans as she sits back down on the floor, and he can tell she has probably never felt so uncomfortable in all the time he has known her.
"No, no no," he says and determinedly pulls her up from behind with his arms under hers. "Let's go! We'll get these later."
"Niiick!" she whisper-shouts at him as he drags her away from the door, not even really trying to struggle.
"No, you're NOT having sex with Schmidt, this is a danger zone for you!" he barks, finally making her stand on her own two legs in the hallway in between their own bedrooms.
"Stop, Nick please," Jess says and twists away from his grip. "Ughhhh…"
She covers her face in her hands, but doesn't turn away from him. Watching her with his hands on his hips, he can tell she wishes to find some words to say to excuse herself or at least make him stop judging her, but he also realizes that he's smiling, and before he can stop it, a laughter escapes him. She looks up, still red-cheeked, but now with indignation.
"Don't laugh at me, Miller! Okay, fine!" she says, waving her hands out in resignation. "I was going to sleep with Schmidt! I just wanted sex, Nick. Stupid, unimportant, meaningless sex. Can you blame me?"
"I do, yeah," he said, still not able to quench his amusement. "I knew you wanted that today, and I understand that completely, but I didn't think you had sunken so low that you were willing to give yourself to the man who makes daily donations to a Douchebag Jar!"
"Oh, like you'd be a so much better choice!" Jess groans sarcastically, narrowing her eyes at him.
"Oh, miles better! No, lightyears better!" Nick laughs.
"How do you know, have you guys done it side by side, comparing?" she says with faked interest, crossing her arms.
"Jess, Schmidt might seem like a nice guy sometimes, and sometimes he even is. He's my friend, but I know him too well, alright? When it comes to women, Schmidt lost his nice guy capabilities along with 200 pounds, years ago. He only thinks about himself, even during sex," Nick explains, chuckling out the last sentence.
"So what? I was looking for a one-night stand, Nick, not a Prince Charming to marry," Jess says, and her voice is sharp. "Maybe Schmidt is exactly what I want."
Nick shakes his head, and the smile falters at last. He can't really believe she is telling him this. A nasty feeling bubbles up, when he thinks about Schmidt doing things to Jess. Things that he hasn't even done to her himself.
There it is again. Where did that come from, the jealousy? He has never thought like that about Jess, so why should it bother him if somebody else did? Then again… He has been seeing somebody else for most of the time they had been living together. He hasn't had reason to think about the girl across the hall. He has always been... distracted.
"Maybe, but in that case I don't care about what you want," he says, crossing his own arms in defiance now. "I would never let you sleep with Schmidt. Mindless, stupid sex or not, he is not what you need. I won't accept it."
For a while, they simply stand there, their ice and chocolate eyes shooting one another with stubborn energy, which soon dissipates a bit and is let out as a grumpy sigh from her, before she finally speaks.
"Why would I care what you think, Nick?"
"I'm your friend, and contrary to Schmidt, I actually care about you."
"Contrary to you, Schmidt knows a lot about mindless, stupid sex."
"What makes you think that I don't?"
"You were devoted to the same person for several years, and now you have a girlfriend again," Jess says in a very know-it-all voice, raising her chin.
"No," he says, more quietly, which seems to catch her off-guard.
"Sorry, what?"
"As of today, I don't have a girlfriend," he says with a half-hearted smile, and leans against the wall to his bedroom.
He watches her blink a few times, dropping her arms to her sides, and gone is horny drunk Jess, giving way for thoughful friend Jess at last.
"Oh my god," she says.
"Yeah," he breathes.
"What happened?"
"It wasn't right," he shrugs.
"But you guys were so much fun together. I was starting to like her!"
"Sorry Jess, I hope you'll forgive me for ruining your blossoming friendship," he said in a jokingly solemn tone.
She punches his arm weakly, with an all too sympathetic smile. He loves that smile. He also hates it, all of a sudden. It makes him feel as if she cares about him too, and he knows her well enough by now to understand that if Jess truly cares about somebody, there's no way you'll be able to give her the massive care she deserves in return.
"Look, Jess, I'm fine. It's what I wanted. I made an effort, and then I made up my mind. She'll be fine too. It's all fine."
"But it's Valentine's Day," Jess squeals.
"It's just a day like any other."
"But now you'll be alone again…"
"Jess, really, don't worry about me."
"And you're not good at mindless, stupid one-night stands, so you'll be just as alone as I am. That's horrible."
He glances up at her with another chuckle. She looks like a sad puppy, so genuinely sorry for him that it tugs at his heart. Jess, what a mess. She is so endearing.
"Eh, we'll learn. But not from Schmidt!" he says, earning a giggle from her. "Maybe I should just head down to the bar right now and find a rebound? It might help me skip the whole Dirty Dancing phase! What do you think?"
"Why go to the bar," she laughs, "I'm right here!"
He initially laughs with her at that, but then that thought from before swirls up inside of him and makes him feel strange. Looking at Jess now, he isn't just seeing Jess the mess. He sees a woman, pretty like a meadow, radiant like a sunflower. Drunk like a wannabe-stealthy teenager, sure, but no less beautiful for that. Has she always been like this?
She seems to catch on to his thoughts and turns abruptly serious, or very nervous. Maybe both. He isn't really sure when they came to stand this close to each other, at what point their faces drifted closer than a few inches apart, but he can feel her shallow breath on his chin now. She is nervous, very nervous.
He isn't yet sure of how he feels about breaking up with Julia. It only just happened, so he hasn't had much time to grieve or celebrate, or what ever else he is supposed to feel after this. He only knows that he isn't regretting it. Does he need a rebound? Maybe not. But would he welcome it, on Valentine's Day? Maybe... But could it be Jess?
It pains him to admit it, but he knows that he can't do this to her. He sighs heavily as he puts his arms gently on her shoulders.
"I'm your friend," he repeats from before. "And I actually care about you."
She just looks at him, unsure of what to say, so he continues.
"I don't think I could ever have sex with you and act like it was nothing the next morning."
His smile is meant to be reassuring, but probably turns out sad, because her eyes grow even bigger and he realizes too late that she has interpreted what he said in the most troublesome way possible.
It satisfies him to see her react like that, somehow, even though he's still not sure why, but it's still troublesome. It means complication. He doesn't want to ruin their friendship. He shouldn't have said anything.
"Ah, look, Jess..."
"Nick…" she says faintly, voice breaking like it often does when she's not putting force behind her words.
He lets go of her, feeling awkward now.
"We should, uh, should go to bed," he says, looking down, but then looks up quickly again. "Not together! I mean, I should go to bed. And you should go to bed. To your bed. And I should go to mine."
He turns to open his bedroom door, but is stopped by her voice.
"Why?"
She doesn't look as helpless as he thought she would. Rather, she has an inquisitive air about her now.
"Jess-"
"Does it need to be mindless and stupid?"
He mouths without words coming out for a second, not really having a good answer to give her.
"That's what you wanted, isn't it?"
She shrugs, and her eyes drift off.
"I don't think I'm the one-night stand type after all," she mumbles.
His heart skips a beat. It sounds as if she's implying something that he didn't even know that he was wishing for. Surely this must just be because she is unsober. Because he's in an emotionally vulnerable state right now, or at least should be, having just broken up with his girlfriend less than an hour ago. Surely she wasn't actually interested in anything more than a one time thing with him, if even that. Was this real?
By the time he's pulled himself out of his whirlwind of doubts, she is looking straight at him again. Not particularly sad, not confused. He even sees a smile playing in the corner of her mouth, and it makes him involuntarily smile too.
Their faces brighten each other up for several seconds, until she is giggling again.
"I'm sorry," she says, sighing. "I'm… I'm drunk."
"It's okay, Jess," he says. "Come here."
He doesn't wait for permission to pull her into his arms and calm her giggles against his shoulder. She doesn't wait for permission to pull her hands up along his back, squeezing him tighter than he thought she would dare to. He doesn't wait for permission to bend his neck enough to bury his nose in her hair until its tip touches her neck and makes her shudder for a split second. They stand like that as the moments pass by, and Nick feels as if all the world around them has just melted away. He shuts out all the problems, shoves away all the worries, and just allows himself to feel utterly content in her embrace for a while.
It's not until they hear a crashing noise that their heads jerk away. It could have been coming from Schmidt's room. Who knows what he is up to, even alone.
The moment is over, and reality pulls them away from their bliss. Nick finds his hands in Jess'. She has gingerly grabbed them as their hug ended, and now she seems determined to keep staring at them instead of at his face, as if she really isn't sure of how to end this situation. Or if she even wants to.
He knows what he wants, he realizes. It surprises him, really, that he wants it so badly. To think he went around looking in other places for something to fill the need for what was literally within his grasp already. At least the possibility was.
And since he wants what he wants, he can't give in to temptation like this. She deserves better.
He reaches up and brushes hair away from her face, stroking her cheek as he does. She finally looks up at that, and he can see that uncertainty has completely taken over her.
"Take my advice, will you?" he says softly. "If you avoid going out looking for mindless, stupid sex, maybe something else will find you. Something... Somebody who's also bad at one-night stands."
"Sounds dangerous," Jess jokes.
"Very dangerous. Maybe he'll need some time, and maybe it will be more complicated, but..."
"But maybe it'll be worth it," Jess finishes.
Their smiles once again match each other's intensity, despite their bodies separating themselves completely from one another at last.
"Goodnight Miller," she says before she disappears into her bedroom.
Not until the door is closed behind her, does he draw a long breath that feels mostly like a sigh of relief.
"Goodnight, Jessica."
A/N: Was meant as a one-shot, but... It might be fun to explore a bit further, hmm? Please leave a review or a note if you liked it or hated it. Thank you!
