God of War 101
Anonymous Speaker: Welcome to God of War 101, the class where you will learn about monsters, Gods and the God-like powers. Your instructor will be Mr. Kratos, the God of War himself.
(Kratos enters through stage door left)
Kratos: Hello class, how are we doing today?
Class: Good
Unknown Voice: Bad!
Kratos: WHO WAS THAT?
(A boy at the back wearing all black raises his hand)
Kratos: YOU WILL BURN IN HADES!
(Kratos runs up and hits the boy over the head killing him)
Kratos(now with blood splattered on him): Okay then, anyone else have any smart comments?
(The class all looks in bewilderment at the boy and nervously shakes their heads)
Kratos: Good, now what we will learn first is (turns toward blackboard and starts to write) the art of killing!
(A hippie boy dressed in tie-dye stands up)
Hippie: Killing people is wrong! Violence is not the answer! Peace, peace will solve all problems
(Kratos looks at the boy suspiciously)
Kratos: Which of the god's powers allow you to shock a person with a bolt of electricity?
Hippie: uh… Zeus's I believe
Kratos: You want a demonstration?
Hippie: Umm, sure?
(Kratos conjures a thunderbolt and throws it at the hippie, killing him; two people remain)
Kratos: Now that all distractions are out of the way, which one of you can tell me what a hydra is?
(A nerdy looking person stands up and raises his hand)
Kratos: Yes?
Nerd: A creature of the sea that attacks ships that happen to cross their territory
Kratos: Very good, now what is a Minatour?
(Both children raise their hands and Kratos calls on the nerd)
Nerd: A Minatour is a half bull half-
(The other boy jumps on him for stealing his question and kills the boy then turns on Kratos and attacks him, Kratos pulls out a head and the boy turns to stone)
Kratos: Well, now we move on to-
(Kratos turns around and sees that everyone is dead)
Kratos- sighs Only eight more periods to go
