"So, Daphne Greengrass approached me today. Apparently she wants a sort of alliance between the houses of Potter and Greengrass. What do you guys think?" Harry broached the topic with his friends, but before any of them could express their own thoughts , Ron Weasley happened.
"She's a slimy snake, Harry! They're all evil!" Ron shouted while ejecting spittle en masse. His mouth was covered with half-eaten egg, and his mouth was full of bacon and toast.
"Really? And why is that?" Harry looked at the boy incredulously.
"You-Know-Who was a Slytherin, and everyone knows that all Slytherins are Death Eaters!" Ron still saw red and had no idea in what direction his self-proclaimed best mate would take this.
"Interesting. Let's expand upon that logic a bit, shall we. Hitler was Austrian. He caused over 60 million deaths. Gasp, that means all austrians are evil! But wait, Hitler was straight, that means all straight men are evil! But that's not all, Hitler was a muggle. Therefore, all muggles are evil! But we can go deeper, still. Hitler was a man. Ergo, all men are evil!" By banging his fist on the table each time he uttered the word 'Evil', he quickly caught everyone's attention, and soon all conversation in the Great Hall had stopped, everyone gaping at his proclamations.
"Merlin's beard, he was a human! That means all humans are EVIL! Let's not forget he was alive, that means every living thing is EVIL!" People's eyebrows were by now covered by their hair, even Quirrell's, and he was wearing a turban! "Oh Lord, Hitler existed. Everything that exists is evil. Meaning all magic, too, is evil. That means all magic is dark! But if all magic is dark, none is dark. And if no magic is dark nor light, that means the whole concept of good and evil is non-existent! By god, Ron, you have made the greatest discovery in the history of humanity; There is no good and evil, ONLY POWER AND THE INTENT THAT GUIDES IT!" Going with the flow of his own speech, he stood up and ran out of the hall shouting how he had to write to the Daily Prophet about this. He had noticed how the entire Great Hall had stilled, and how he had everyone's attention. Once he was out of earshot, he started chuckling to himself, murmuring something about 'illogical idiots'.
Meanwhile, the entire student population (with the exception of the muggle-born and -raised) had their entire world-view shattered, and realised that Potter was right! Good and evil didn't exist! They all had to tell their parents about this major discovery immediately! And so it was that a good nine-tenths of the students stood up and rushed out towards their dorms to write their letters home. If one stayed, one would have seen the teachers gaping, still working on processing that bit of information, after all, they had lived their entire lives following the concept of light and dark without even once questioning it, and Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, defeater of Grindelwald and champion of the Light, eyes unfocused, muttering words such as 'Impossible' and 'Gellert'.
The rest of the people in the hall were those who had been raised in the muggle world and whose concept of logic was, well, more logical. They were the ones who had been taught to think for themselves instead of just accepting everything they were told as facts. After the first person began chuckling, the rest soon followed, and quickly, fists were banging on the desk in a desperate attempt to express their humor. Only a good five minutes later did the ones rolling on the floor stand up and wipe away their tears, and the ones lying their heads on the table start inhaling air again.
