Law-Abiding Citizens

The events of "The Newlywed Game" have a different outcome in this story. What if the FBI made Jack & Sue's newlywed cover a little too authentic? They got more than they bargained for signing up for this mission…

Based on the episode "The Newlywed Game" in season 2. A farfetched idea that came to me one night… 75% believable, 25% zany, just go with it. ;)

(Disclaimer: I don't profess to be a Sue Thomas expert – I've only seen a handful of free episodes online, so if any of the details in this story conflict with the show's canon, I apologize.)

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Chapter 1 – Welcome to the Neighborhood

The house was nice. If by nice you meant palatial. Each room Sue entered on her tour of what would be her make-believe home for the next several days – or weeks – was grander than the one before. It made the humble bungalow she grew up in seem like a shanty. Cathedral ceilings, skylights, and granite countertops took her breath away around every corner.

To have Jack present in the midst of all this grandeur was yet another amazement among many. But then, he seemed to fit the environment. Unlike her. This was hardly the first time in her life she'd felt like a fish out of water, but it was the first time it involved feeling outclassed.

Her insecurities were getting the best of her, she knew. Jack was the last person who'd think less of her for any reason, least of all something as petty as social strata. He'd been her biggest advocate at the agency since day one. Even if he suspected her origins were less auspicious than his, he had enough character to keep it to himself.

When she accidentally knocked over a vase in the kitchen, however, she feared she might be testing that theory.

"Ugh, that was so clumsy of me," she lamented, searching for a broom and dustpan. "I hope that wasn't one of your personal belongings?"

"It's not mine. Must be a last-minute thrift store purchase Bobby found to make this feel like 'home.'"

Sue hurriedly swept up the mess, wanting to avert her eyes but needing to periodically glance up to see his response. "I'm just afraid it's bad luck, breaking something so soon."

She saw Jack's mouth open and his larynx wiggle. He was laughing.

"Sue, I'm surprised! I didn't take you for the superstitious type."

"I'm not usually, it's just… I feel like I'm making this more awkward than it already is."

Jack's smile turned to a contemplative smirk. "I hadn't really thought of it as awkward. More like… unique."

"Unique is what you call an exotic pet or a piece of modern art! Posing as a married couple so we can spy on the neighbors who are most likely terrorists? That's what I call awkward!"

He shrugged. "Well, if you put it that way."

Shaking her head, Sue swept the last of the vase's fragments and dumped them in the trash.

"There, let's hope that's the last thing I break. We don't need to be destroying a house that's not even ours."

Jack sauntered past her, trailing a finger along the mirror-smooth surface of the island countertop. He seemed to be drinking in the sumptuous details of every appliance and recessed light.

"Ours or not, I intend to enjoy it while we're here. What fun is it to handle a mansion with kid gloves?" he snatched an apple out of the fruit bowl, gouging a bite from it. "Have you seen the entertainment center in the basement? It's like a miniature movie theater!"

"I haven't been down there yet," she confessed.

"Wanna try it out tonight?"

Sue drew a face. "Thanks, but I'm pretty tired. Moving in is hard work, even with everyone's help."

"You sure? I brought my entire Seinfeld DVD collection."

"Tempting, but I'm headed to bed," she yawned. "Which brings us to the issue of bedrooms."

"I had my eye on the one at the end of the hallway, across from the second bathroom."

"That's fine. I'll take the master bedroom, since it has enough space for Levi's dog bed."

Nodding, Jack stepped aside with exaggerated manners, as a butler would. "Goodnight then…"

"See you tomorrow," Sue offered a tired smile and headed past him, whistling for Levi to follow her upstairs.

"…Mrs. Hudson," Jack added playfully behind her back.

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