AN: This is a parallel storyline to HEAVY IN YOUR ARMS, which is from Bo's POV. I highly encourage Chapter 01 being read at the same time as this.
Disclaimer: As always characters belonging to Lost Girl are not mine but the storyline and settings are.
Cosmic Love:
Chapter 01:
It was still dark morning out when I rushed about the city trying to make it there on time. I hated being late in all degrees, it was impractical and unprofessional. I heard my phone ring but I dismissed it as I walked into the big cement and glass building. I could see the ER ward was full and nodded at the RN in the front desk as I rushed to put my uniform on. There had been a seven car pile-up in the highway and I was paged promptly to handle the overflow of patients. The Doctor on the floor was a newbie and there was no way I was letting him handle the situation alone.
I rushed into the busy room as I assessed the patient in the bed while my nurse gave me the specs. 47, Caucasian male, not conscious. I took a deep breath and started my assessment.
"He clearly has a broken femur, we need to do some x-rays I want to see his whole spine lit up. Let's get him into a CT scan, I want to make sure what's going on in his head. Patient next to us needs some ABC's come on people!" I barked out the orders as I took charge of my room.
I could hear the other Doctor across the room in the other units trying to go as fast as I was. I moved from patient to patient repeating the same process. My mind running, my fingers dancing and my mouth giving orders I didn't even have to think twice on. I diligently worked over and over until I could feel the fatigue residing in my body.
I roamed the halls between patients ready for a small break in the shift. I had just taken a bag of Twinkies out when my relief surgeon tapped me in the shoulder making me jump a hundred feet and laugh nervously.
"Holy shit Lewis what's got you so jacked up?" the blonde joked with jovial blue eyes.
"Tamsin, you gave me a freight!" I chuckled as she took out a drink for herself.
"Serves you right! You sent me about ten surgeries, I won't be able to get out until tomorrow night!" she complained mockingly.
"Good thing you don't have a life." I joked. "I mean we could've let them die or something."
"Or something…." she mumbled "And don't think for one second that me not having a brat running around makes me have no life!"
"I never said that." I chuckled amusedly.
"Yeah but you insinuated it." She waved her finger at me accusingly. "I swear I don't know how you do it."
"It's tough but it's sweet Tamsin, she's the light of my days." I smiled thinking of my 'brat' as Tamsin called her often.
Truth was Tamsin loved my girl, there was no denying it. She would spoil her rotten every chance she could. Tamsin and I had met when we were in medical school. She needed a tutor since she was partying too much at some point and I guess that after that we just stayed together. We had even moved hospitals together whenever the time would come to change practices. When I made the decision to bring my baby home, Tamsin had been there to welcome her into the small apartment I then owned.
"I'll be out tomorrow I'll call you so we can do something with the squirt." She hollered and I nodded before getting back to my rounds.
I sighed as I gave the nurse at the counter the chart of one of the patients I had just closed up on. She gave me a smile and a sympathetic look as she handed me another chart. I glanced at the clock knowing I was close to the end of my shift. It had been hours since I had come in but the work had engrossed me so much I couldn't pry away from it. I grabbed the chart with a smile as I took off for the next patient.
I let the water wash over my body as I ran my hands down my hair and leaned against the wall of the stall. I felt the tears come before I knew it and I let them fall and mesh with the flowing water. I tried to supress my sobs, it had been a long time since I had a breakdown like this. Not since medical school probably. I couldn't handle the loss I had just suffered. It was a small child not much older than my own.
I had almost forgotten it was New Year's Eve by the time I was dressed. I grabbed my phone and quickly scanned my notifications knowing my baby would be home soon. I was excited for the plans we had made for tonight. She was old enough that she was going to stay up late and bring in the New Year with me. I had bought all sorts of party favours and her favourite snacks. We had the best view in town to catch all the fireworks and even the countdown on one of the buildings.
I got in my car and sped off anxious to spend some time with my girl. I knew she must've been in piano lessons right around this time and I smiled. She was so good at that piano, yet she wanted nothing to do with it besides the practices she endured for my sake. I wanted her college application to look nice when she decides to go into it. Be it for what it may I wanted her to have a bright future. She was smart but she loved being active more than anything. She loved acting first and thinking later and I wondered how much of that was attributed to her genetics.
I found myself smiling more often than not when thinking of my baby. She was beautiful, by far the most beautiful little girl I had seen in my life. It was probably something all mothers said, but mine would be a looker, I knew it. As I drove I found myself making a small plan to surprise her. I'd stop at the donut shop and then head to her hockey practice to fill her up with the treats she loved so much. Hockey had been her compromise to her piano lessons and although it scared me how much she could injure herself with such a physical sport I indulged her.
I wasn't much for sports myself, I found it brutish and pointless and most of them confused me. I hated being confused. It was one of the things that made me mad the most. I showed up at her games, cheered and tried to pay attention but I wasn't that typical sports mom everyone else had and sometimes I wondered if she wanted that from me. I was the total opposite of these things, I was intelligent and logical and had excellent calculation skills so when it came time for things like passion and 'push hard' I couldn't wrap my head around it.
My phone rang and I glanced at it. I hated using a cell phone and driving, it was so perilous and I had many people in my ER for it. I wasn't far from the donut shop so I decided to rush there and grab my phone then. When I parked I read through the email quickly. As my eyes went through each word I did a silent celebration. It was an email from the board letting me know my proposal for a research facility had been approved.
I had been wanting to spend more time with my daughter. Right now we made it work and all but being an ER doctor wasn't easy with a kid no matter what is said. I was also a single parent to make things much more difficult. My girl had all she wanted but it didn't change the fact that I was gone every day before sunrise and couldn't come home well after 5. We had arranged her curriculum so she was occupied most of the time, but still. I'd make sure to make breakfast before I left every morning and the bus would come pick her up in front of our building then off to school until 2:30, piano at 3:00 and hockey at 4:00, by the time 5:00 rolled around she was exhausted. I wanted to change the fact she was alone most of the day when the weekend hit or when there was no school like today and now I had the tools for that.
I hurried and picked up her treats before heading towards the rink ready to surprise her. She would never expect me to come pick her up so early but I had done my rounds in a hurry after that last patient I lost just to see her face. I pushed through the double doors feeling the cold air hit me and the sounds of the girls playing hockey filled my ears. I stood by the side of the rink scanning the red jerseys and hoping to catch a glimpse of my girl.
My face wrinkled with worry as I scanned the crowd of little girls once more realizing that number 16 was nowhere to be found. My heart raced in my chest immediately. There was no way she would do something like this, no way. The coach saw me and a frown graces her features not calming my fears. She skated over quickly and addressed me.
"Hello Doctor Lewis, can I help you?" she asked looking as confused as I was.
"I'm just, I'm looking for my daughter." I tried to smile hoping she was in the bathroom or in the changing room.
"I… I don't understand. She told us yesterday she had to help with preparations for New Year's at home today and couldn't make it to today's practice." Her face turned into more concern as I tried to make sense out of everything.
"I… oh… I forgot." I mentioned trying to think of why she would do such a thing.
"Is there something wrong?"
"No, thank you." I shook my head as my hands balled to prevent them from shaking. "Have a happy new year"
I walked outside briskly and rushed to my car. She was ten, I trusted her judgement and she had no cell phone. I felt like such an idiot. I was scared that if I said anything to authorities and it turned out to be her just skipping practice to watch TV at home we'd be in serious crap. I turned on my car and hurried home the donuts forgotten in my haste. I was scared since she had done nothing like this ever. I had no idea what could be so pressing that not only would she lie around but she would also keep it hidden from me. We were best friends I liked to think.
As soon as I got through my front door I rushed about disheartened that she wasn't home. The TV was off and everything was exactly as I had seen it when I left for work. I let out a whimper in desperation, I was starting to really get desperate, but I kept trying to make logic of the situation knowing there was no signs of a struggle and if she had made excuses she had somewhere to be.
I put all my things away and changed into jeans and simple white tee as I tied my long blonde hair in a ponytail. This went against all the trust and respect rules that we had set in the house but there was no way I could hold back from investigating when she was gone and lying. I went into her room and started looking around for something, anything that would help me out.
Her bed was unmade which was strange for her and I could see that her backpack was missing. I sat on the bed for a second trying to think of where to start. I looked at the mess of shoes in her closet thinking it was uncharacteristic of her as well and decided to look there. After rummaging I hit a dead end and so I went on to look in her desk and under her bed. When all that turned up empty I grunted in frustration.
My eyes widened when I realized her laptop was not on top of her desk. Wherever she was she had taken it with her. I ran to my office and grabbed my own laptop throwing it open with ease. The browser application she was using in her laptop was logged into my account. I was hoping that I'd be able to find something even to start in her browser history.
She was smart, but I could see everything she had seen in her browser since the beginning of time. As my eyes widened at her activities and the websites she had been visiting my heart dropped and I grew anxious. I could see various bus websites and a few of itineraries had been searched. She was looking into maps and directions to take her somewhere, I just couldn't place where or why.
I opened new tabs and scrolled rapidly. I had the bad feeling that she had been gone longer than I dared to think. Shifting through music websites and fashion tabloids along with sports schedules and game highlights I wondered if she had sneaked out for some event. Maybe she was curious about a concert or a sporting event. I could only hope it was something as mundane as that.
As my search went into older and older files I stumbled upon something I didn't think I'd find. It was the website for the agency I had used to adopt her. I gasped as I saw that she had scoured the entire website from top to bottom. I was in shock about this, I wasn't sure what she had wanted with it or why. We had always spoken truthfully to each other. She had known that she was adopted since she was little. I had thought it was of little to no importance to her, she seemed happy and stable not really caring how we came about each other but that we were together.
I knew it'd be a long shot but I decided to check the internet based storage system to see if she had left any trail or documents there that I could get information for. She had TONS of pictures. Hockey, plays, her team, us… you'd name it she had it. I was beginning to think that there was no end to the scrolling and I was going to give up when I saw a few word documents near the bottom. It was titled rendezvous and I grew curious clicking it immediately. The screen blinked a few times and I thought the computer had crashed. Then I realized the document was THAT big that it took a while to load.
I had to give my girl props for this. It was a 75 page document of pure and utter research. It seemed that her homework hadn't always been school related. It had phone numbers, addresses, and paragraphs with a trail of clues. I could see it clearly unraveling in my head and I my heart ached the more I realized it. She seemed to be looking for her birth parents.
It instantly gave me the insecurities of being a mother. I was surprised she was looking at all this stuff without bringing it up with me. We had a very close relationship despite my crazy hours, but now I was starting to think I didn't quite know my girl as much as I thought.
The thought of her looking for her parents deeply saddened me but also worried me. I had known that her mother had given her up in a closed adoption and that it wasn't in the best of terms. I had always been resentful towards her birth mother since my baby had to be put on watch for several weeks before they gave her to me. They had to monitor she wasn't addicted to any of the things her mother was and it truly made me feel scorn towards the woman. Besides that though I knew nothing else.
I had thought she had found nothing else on her parents and it almost calmed me, yet at the very end of the document there was an address in Ottawa with a name in bold letters. Bo Denis.
"Oh Fleur, what have you done?" I asked myself out loud as I emailed the document to my phone and set out to find her.
This Bo Denis better get ready, cause I wasn't stepping foot back in this house without my daughter.
