Sonjay sighed as he glanced across the catering area at where Jay Lethal was carefully feeding a spoonful of soup to So Cal Va

TITLE: Get Me Through The Day

CHARACTERS: Sonjay Dutt, Jay Lethal, So Cal Val, Alex Shelley, Chris Sabin, Johnny Devine, Petey Williams

PAIRINGS: Past/one-sided Sonjay Dutt/Jay Lethal, Lethal/Val, appearance of Johnny Devine/Petey Williams

NOTES: I was on YouTube and I found this really cute slash video for the Sonjay/Jay pairing to the song 'When You're Gone' by Avril Lavigne. I got the title from a line in that song, also.

DISCLAIMER: Sonjay, Jay, Val, Alex, Chris, Johnny, Petey are not mine, nor do I claim they are.

Sonjay Dutt sighed as he glanced across the catering area at where Jay Lethal was carefully feeding a spoonful of soup to So Cal Val. He flinched in surprise when the Motor City Machine Guns flew into the chairs at his sides. They were both smiling. "What's the matter, Guru?" Chris asked.

"Yeah, what's making you stare ever-so-longingly at the wall?" Alex smiled.

Sonjay dragged his eyes from Alex's face back to the scene before him. Val was giggling and wiping some soup from Jay's chin. The two other men followed their Indian friend's gaze.

"Oh…" Alex said, realization filling his voice. "Sonjay, come on, man. You can't keep doing this to yourself."

"Yeah." Chris added, tossing an arm around Sonjay's shoulders. "You can't just keep living in the past, man. It's not good for your system."

Sonjay sighed and shrugged the heavy arm from his shoulder. "Thanks, but no thanks, guys. I like how I'm going. I'm not living in the past. I'm perfectly fine. Okay?"

Alex and Chris exchanged a glance. Alex set his fist on the side of his mouth, trying to conceal the fact that he was mouthing something to Chris. But Sonjay caught it. 'He needs to give it up. Jay doesn't love him anymore.'

Sonjay gritted his teeth and stood up from the table. "I have to change. I have a promo."

Chris swallowed, looking slightly embarrassed and sorry. "Take care of yourself, man. We'll see you later tonight or something?"

The Indian man barely even listened. "Whatever." He turned on his heel and began to exit the room, but not before witnessing the small kiss that Jay and Val shared.

Sonjay slammed the door when he walked into the X-Division locker room. He pursed his lips and closed his eyes when he saw Johnny Devine and Petey Williams kissing. "Get a fucking room! This is not the place for you two to fucking hook up, got it?!"

Petey pulled back quickly in surprise. "Geeze, Sonjay, what crawled up your ass and died, eh? You never cared about us before!"

Sonjay just glared at the pair of Canadians. Johnny flushed a bright red and stood, mumbling something to Petey about having a match with Jay.

Just hearing his name made the expression on Sonjay's face soften slightly, if only for a moment.

Petey looked at his boyfriend's retreating back wistfully. "Thanks a lot, Dutt. I just lost my pre-title fuck." The brunette forced a sigh and stood up, scratching his shaved hair.

"Good." Sonjay replied inconsiderately. "I'm glad."

Petey gave the other man a glare as he left the locker room.

The 26-year-old man sighed and flopped down on the vacated bench. He buried his face in his hands, pulling his legs up. He rested his heels on the edge of the bench and his elbows on his knees. Only then did Sonjay allow himself to cry.

XxXxXxXxXx

Jay Lethal couldn't be happier. He had a beautiful woman at his side, great friends, a great job, and he was the X-Division champ at age 22. Yes, life couldn't be any sweeter. Except that Val only seemed to really love him when he was playing the part of The Black Machismo. Or that his best friend seemed especially mad at him. Or that his great job was killing him to continue, with so many nagging injuries. Or that he was about to lose his title that night to Petey Williams. But, still, life couldn't be sweeter.

"I have a match soon, Lady Luck." Jay growled out, in a near-perfect imitation of Randy Savage, to the redhead that he had been eating with. "I'm gonna need to get changed and stretched, oh yeah, so you better go find someone to hang out with."

Val giggled quietly and nodded. She pulled Jay's face to hers and kissed him lightly. "Good luck, Machismo."

Jay kissed her back, equally as soft. "You are luck." He whispered and stood. The dark-skinned man made his way back to the X-Division locker room, only to bang headlong into Petey Williams, the very man that would be taking his title that night. "Whoa, whoa, bro. Where are you going in such a hurry?"

Petey sighed in an annoyed way. "Sonjay's being a dick so I'm going to Scott's locker room. Johnny's to afraid to go near Sonjay, so you'll probably see him cowering in one of the corners. Send him to meet me if you can."

Jay nodded. "Will do, bro." He turned to watch the Canadian leave, mumbling to himself. "That man ain't right." Jay whispered to himself, shaking his head. "And it's not like Sonjay to be a prick. Wonder what's wrong…" He gently pushed the locker room door open.

He didn't expect what he saw upon entering…

XxXxXxXxXx

Sonjay gasped in shock when the door opened. He looked up quickly and let his feet fall back to the floor. Hard. "Jay, what the fuck?!"

Jay's eyes widened behind his sunglasses. "I have a match, man. What's wrong? Petey told me you're acting funny."

"Well, maybe Petey's acting funny! Ever thought of that?! Guess not, huh?!" Sonjay pushed himself off of the bench, forcing himself not to look at his former lover, lest more memories be dragged up. "Leave me the fuck alone. I need to think."

Jay, confused now, set a hand on Sonjay's shoulder. The Indian man shrugged it off almost immediately, as if it had burned him. "Sonjay, what's your problem?"

"I don't have any problems! I just like it better when no one talks to me, okay?!" Sonjay stomped over to the wall and leaned his forehead against it, the cool concrete soothing against his burning face. He didn't want to talk to Jay.

Jay understood, and with the way Sonjay was acting, he didn't want anything to do with his so-called "best friend" either. Too bad he didn't really care enough to talk about what was really going on.

Sonjay breathed heavily through his lips and closed his eyes. They were too hot. It was the crying. Crying always made his eyes hurt. But, he never cried back when he and Jay were together.

XxXxXxXxXx

Sonjay held Jay tightly in his arms, cradling the young man's head in the crook of his elbow. They were both breathing heavily after an intense round of lovemaking. The Indian man whuffled his lips over the shell of his lover's ear, gently breathing into the sensitive opening.

Jay swatted the older man away. "I'm trying to fall asleep here, Sonj. Let me sleep."

Sonjay chuckled. "Yeah, just tell me that you don't love this." He softly bit the flesh of his lover's ear.

Jay moaned quietly. "Sonjay…"

Sonjay chuckled and settled down. "God, Jay, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me. Ever."

Jay smiled. "You, too, baby. You too."

It was always a great way to fall asleep, with your one love by your side.

XxXxXxXxXx

Sonjay grunted in annoyance, pushing himself away from the wall. He hated the memories sometimes. If the memories were gone, then maybe he would have a chance of being comfortable again.

Jay silently watched his friend. He couldn't really tell what was wrong sometimes. Sonjay hadn't really been happy since…well, since they had broken up. But he had found Val, fallen in love. Sonjay and he were just a fling…right?

But there was no mistaking how much Sonjay needed Jay. There was always a trace of unseen emotion (perhaps hurt?) in the Indian man's eyes every time Jay was in sight. But, Jay still convinced himself, he had moved on, and Sonjay would, too.

XxXxXxXxXx

After the show that night, Sonjay left the building and wound up on the steps outside the back door, waiting for his riding partner. Jay.

Speaking of the Devil, Jay walked out of the building arm-in-arm with his Lady Luck. She hadn't been very lucky that night.

Sonjay continued to stare, unfocussed, at the sea of cars on the pavement. At least he did, until Jay came into his view field.

"Hey, ready to go?"

Sonjay shrugged, tightening his jacket. He was suddenly chilly. "I just want to get to the hotel. You don't have to talk to me in the car."

Jay tried to smile. "Man, I want to talk to you. Val's going with Gail anyway."

Sonjay hadn't even registered the fact that Val was suddenly missing. "Oh." Was all he could manage to say.

Jay wrapped a muscular arm around Sonjay and escorted him to the car. "Sonjay, I think I know what your problem is."

"What problem?!" Sonjay exploded, halting his steps. "I don't have one!"

"Calm down." Jay rubbed small circles on Sonjay's bicep. He hadn't even taken his keys out yet. "Sonjay, do you miss me?"

Sonjay struggled a bit in Jay's grip. "Miss you? What the fuck? You're right here. Why would I miss you?"

Jay sighed. "Maybe not me, but…us? Do you miss us?"

Sonjay became silent.

"It's okay if you say yes, you know." Jay reasoned, tightening his grip slightly in case Sonjay readied himself to bolt. He sighed when the other man made no sound. "Sonjay, please. You have to tell me."

Sonjay let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. "Jay, don't. Don't fuck with me any more." He shook his head sadly. "I can't take it." The Indian man pushed his friend away and opened the door to slide into the car.

Jay sighed again as he followed suit. He'd get Sonjay to talk, sometime soon.

XxXxXxXxXx

That night, Sonjay lay in an empty hotel room, with only his own breathing to keep him company. "Just gotta keep getting through the days." He sighed. "Everything will be okay, one day. But now is not my time."