First fanfic in a loooong time :3
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, all rights reserved, yada yada yada...
A/N: This was an idea I had been toying with in my mind for a while...because honestly? Does anyone buy that Lupin didn't want to marry Tonks just because of the wereworlf thing? pfft...I think there was something more ;] This is shorter than stories I usually write, but eh *shrugs*
Enjoy! Reviews greatly appreciated 3
Tonks knows that Remus is only doing what he feels is best for her. She knows that all he's doing is trying to protect her from what he is, from what he could do. She knows he's only trying to prevent any future children of theirs from becoming what he is. She knows he's only refusing her because he loves her.
Right?
But what Tonks doesn't know won't hurt her, right? Because what Tonks doesn't know, the Order isn't about to tell her.
What Tonks doesn't know is that Minerva McGonagall remembers many breakfasts at Hogwarts, so many years ago, when a young Sirius Black would stroll in with his arm slung around a very bashful Remus Lupin. She remembers the way Sirius would watch with loving admiration, as Remus would carefully maneuver his spoonful of porridge around the thick volume he was reading, and skillfully swallow the spoonful without ever taking his eyes off the page. She remembers the time in their 4th year, when she caught Mr. Black passing a note on a bit of parchment to Mr. Lupin. She remembers the way Sirius protested when she threatened to read the note to the class, and she remembers all too well the way her irritation wavered as she read the note to herself: Transfiguration is bollocks, Remmy, because no amount of wand waving in the world could alter me into someone who really deserves you. –Padfoot.
What Tonks doesn't know is that Mad-Eye Moody remembers Sirius Black in his 7th year, pulling a very distraught Remus Lupin into his office one day. Moody can recall with perfect clarity the expression of pure fury on Black's face, as he dares to accuse the Auror of being a "washed-up old nimrod". Moody learns from the apologetic Remus that he owed the pleasure of the pleasant visit to Sirius learning that as a werewolf, Remus can never be qualified to be trained as an Auror, the career all the Marauders had planned to pursue upon graduating from Hogwarts. Maybe Moody was in an uncharacteristically good mood that day, or perhaps, it was something his keen eye (no pun intended) picked up in the way the angry, dark-haired teen stood up for his slight, quiet companion, which kept him from hexing Sirius Black into a toad.
What Tonks doesn't know is that Fred and George Weasley were certainly able to pick up more than the Order meetings with their Extendable Ears. Everyone knows when you eavesdrop, eventually you'll overhear something you wish you hadn't, perhaps…whispered conversations in the dead of the night, reminiscing about the past, the time before graduation, before the death of Lily and James, before Azkaban. A past in which a werewolf and a blood traitor could be together. A past that the Weasley twins never knew; a past full of stories of two men that the twins would never relay to anyone.
In hindsight, it was very lucky for Nymphadora Tonks that Severus Snape was already back at Voldemort's side by the time she had decided to press Remus for marriage, for Snape knows many things that Tonks doesn't. It was Snape, not Tonks, who witnessed from the shadows the stolen kisses in the hallways, the nonchalant brush of fingers during Potions, the warm embraces after victorious Quidditch matches. Snape, not Tonks, observed and took notice of the careful manner with which Black and Lupin conducted themselves when in the presence of other Order members. Snape was privy to years of information that Tonks was not, and given the chance, would have been the first to exploit the man she professed her love for.
Although Remus' lycanthropy had become common knowledge, he still had one secret that Snape held over his head: even after Hogwarts, after Azkaban, and yes, after Death, Remus Lupin was still in love with Sirius Black.
