Author: Urban Rose

Pairing: Jacob/Bella

Genre: Angst, regret and romance.

Rating: M ( just in case)

Summary:

Ever wondered what if... what path your life may have taken if something had been different? Or how one decision, one moment could have changed your life...?

One moment for Bella will mean the difference between life and death or for her, life and vampirism... One moment really can change your life as Bella finds out.

This story is split into two separate realities which will run in tandem; In one Bella wakes up as a new-born vampire, while in the other she remains a human, but neither is the reality she realized all too late, that she wanted, and her previous decisions come back to haunt her.

Some demons you can't out run; no matter how hard you try.

Beta: Patricia aka Pece87

Pre-Reader: Tonyamic10

In Progress

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

A/N: The first half of this story is based in Breaking Dawn part one (wedding scene, so no doubt it will appear really similar in places- I wrote it from memory so it may be a bad merger of the movie and the book sorry guys. Hopefully it's not too bad!

I am really worried this story will disappoint you especially if you read my Halloween entry and voted but the Human story should be happier :) I've nearly finished the vampire side which I'll post first so you can see how Bella ended up on James Island that day.

This chapter is the start for both Vampire Bella's story & Human Bella's story.

Tormented Souls

Chapter ONE:- The day it all changed

Four Years ago- August 13th

He sighed, as the song came to an end. "Can I have another dance or is that asking too much?" Not wanting to let him go so soon, I tightened my hand around his, as his own tightened around my waist; neither of us, quite ready to let go of the other. "You can have as many as you want," I whispered, he chuckled in response, "Hmmm, that could be interesting but I think I better stop at two, let you get back to the… er party".

"You would think I would be used to telling you goodbye by now", he murmured into my hair, I tried to swallow the lump in my throat, but it refused to move. He pulled back a little, startling me, as I tried to cling to him tighter, as he tilted my face to look up at his, "Bells, you're not meant to cry on your-" He coughed, "special day", he wiped his fingers across my cheeks, wiping away the tears, I hadn't realized I was crying. "Everyone cries at weddings", I mumbled in response, he cocked an eyebrow at me, "Erm but the br- the girl, isn't meant to be the one crying, unless they are happy tears."

I swallowed thickly.

"And you're happy right?" He asks, his fingers lifting my chin so he can look straight into my eyes, I try to duck my chin, to avoid his scrutiny, but he keeps it firmly in place. "Bells look at me. This is what you wanted right?" Wanted… yes, it was… so I nod, keeping my eyes closed.

"Well then smile. If I know this is what you want, it will make it easier for me to-"

"Don't. don't say it Jake. Please."

"Smile then Bells," I tried, and he laughed at what must have looked more like a grimace. "Just give me this Bella, let me remember you like this; happy and smiling, with big brown eyes, blushing pink cheeks, and a healthy glow. Let me pretend-"

"Pretend?! Pretend what? That I died?"

His jaw clenched, and I felt him stiffen, "Bells please. I don't want to fight, that isn't why I came." I could see him warring with himself. I knew exactly what he was thinking and what he was struggling not to say. Anger flashed through me, at him, trying to placate me, so unlike the normal Jake, like my Jake. Without thinking I stomped hard on his foot, making him laugh huskily. "Ah there's my girl", my heart leaped at his words, racing, I knew he could hear it, if he couldn't feel already it hammering against my chest. He went to speak, but he clenched his jaw closed, again. And I felt my temper flare; again. When had things gotten so difficult between us? It used to be so easy, so natural. But ever since Edward had come back it had been so fraught with tension, unsaid sentiments, and emotions. Our once easy going innate relationship was now overwrought, like now there was a massive elephant in the room, and we were quite literally dancing around it. Neither of us wanted to talk about my fast approaching change, which Jacob, couldn't and would not ever accept or understand and yet again it was causing so much strain between us.

"Just say it Jake."

"What?" He asks distracted.

"I know you want to say something-" He goes to deny it, I push my finger to his lips, "you look like you're chewing on a wasp's nest. Say it, and then you can relax knowing you said your piece."

"I don't want to say anything." This time it is my turn to arch an eyebrow at him, he chuckles, but it isn't a genuine one, I knew because I know him better than I know myself, and I knew then that whatever he wanted to say, was going to hurt him, "I don't- it isn't-I- I want to ask - no I need to know something- I need you to tell me – I need – ugh- It doesn't matter."

As I watched him fight with the need and want of knowing the answer to whatever he wanted to ask warring with the not knowing, debating which one would cause him the most pain, the knowing or not knowing, I knew then what it was he wanted to ask, as he kicked his shoes in the dirt, and fidgeted angrily with his clothes, not looking at me.

"Not tonight Jake- not yet" I whispered, so softly into the night. I knew he heard me as his whole body relaxes, and he exhales a large gust of air, neither of us were aware he had been holding. My humanity was a major obsession for both Edward and Jacob, but Jake was more fixated on it, than even Edward. He seemed almost haunted by it and seemed to treasure every breath and heartbeat I had, and whenever we were together he was always studying me like he was trying to commit every small detail to memory .

He tried to act cool, and unaffected, but his relief was evident to see, all of his body and face had relaxed, and he looked at peace. His eyes raised to look into mine, as he gave me a shy smile, and pulled me back into his arms, chuckling with glee and relief, wrapping his large, strong, warm arms around me, and lifted me up in the air as he danced in a circle, "Loca", I thought I heard him whisper, making me flash back to that first day I had taken the motorcycles to his house, he spun me around laughing, and seeing him so happy and carefree made me forget everything and I giggled along with him, happy to see him so happy.

When he finally placed me on the ground we didn't pretend to dance, instead we simply held each other for a few moments before he whispered a "When?" into my hair, his breathe caressing my ear, making my hair stand on end, and my body shiver in result.

"Not yet- I don't know. Soon. A fortnight maybe", which was longer than I had told Edward, I had said a week at most, but suddenly I wanted to reassure Jake, but deep down I realized I wasn't so sure myself, I suddenly wanted a few more days.

Jake looked at me, his eyebrows raised in surprise. "I thought you couldn't wait Bells? Why the sudden delay?" He smiled at me mockingly, almost cockily.

I felt my anger begin to rise, at his response. "There isn't one! But I don't want to spend my honeymoon in pain – strangely enough!" My annoyance was clear in my tone, which only made him laugh again, with what seemed like more relief and happiness.

"I want to have a proper honeymoon!" I snapped. He stopped laughing, and looked at me seriously.

"Bells you can't have a proper honeymoon with your leech- so why even pretend and go through with the pretense! Just admit you're just putting it off! It's fine! Hell it's the best news I've heard-"

"I will have a proper honeymoon Jacob! It will be real in every way just like anyone else's!"

"What?" His eyes bulged in horror, "What did you just say Bella?" He grabbed me, by the arms, tightly and looked straight into my eyes searching for something, his sudden change in his behavior startled me.

"Jake- what's wro- ow Jake! You're hurting me",

"Is this a sick joke Bella? You can't- not with him! He will kill you!"

Realization dawned on me, I had only wanted to stop his gloating, my teenage rebellion had kicked in, like it always did when Charlie told me I couldn't do something and now he was livid. Everything was happening so quickly.

Our quiet private time was suddenly careering dramatically off path. Snarls and growls erupted around us in the darkness.

"Let her go now." Edward hissed angrily. Jake's face was no longer recognizable, as he lost himself to his emotions, his body shaking and his vibrations resonating through me, his hands still pinning me in place, Edward appeared on one side of me, and Seth moved to stand on the other, as he placed his hand on Jake's arm. I looked at the fifteen year old and tried to convey I was okay and to step back. But Seth was concentrating on Jake.

"Bro, you're gonna lose it! You have to calm down, otherwise you'll hurt her." A growl, followed his statement, as another overlapped it, as Seth's words seemed to reach Jake. He let go of me and staggered backwards still shaking, the blood rushed through my veins, painfully I winced, and stepped towards him, but gasped when I was suddenly stood behind Edward, on the other side of the clearing instead, this only seemed to annoy Jake further.

"I would never hurt her, Leech!"

"You just did!" – I rushed to reassure Edward I was fine, I wasn't hurt, not physically. Inside I was a mess, seeing Jake's horror and pain, and realizing I had caused it, made me feel sick, I tried to go to him again, but Edward stopped me. I looked up as Jake roared at him. Two massive wolves suddenly appeared in between Edward and Jake, but instead of tensing ready to fight like Edward and Jake were, they looked to be trying to appease the situation, trying to use their massive heads to push Jacob backwards, away from us. Jacob's body was now a blur.

"You'll kill-!" He began to yell but he choked as emotions got the better of him. "Jake, come on let's go", little Seth pleaded, wrapping his arm around Jake. Fear swelled in my stomach as I realized how close Jake was to phasing and with Seth so close, again I tried to move to Jake, knowing I could make him calm down I just needed to be able to touch him, or get him to really see me, even though he was looking at me, he seemed too angry to concentrate on me to hear my voice. I knew he would never ever hurt me. Edward gripped me tightly, "Don't," he commanded, "he isn't in control".

"Let her go!" Jake snarled, as he jerked and convulsed, "I'll kill you myself, right now, before you lay a finger on her", the giant black wolf barked and growled harshly at Jake. "Move Seth, now", Edward hissed having heard something that worried him in someone's mind, made fear grip me even tighter, instead Seth grabbed Jake more firmly, "Come on Jake, let's go, come on", Jake seemed so torn between phasing in anger and trying to keep his form, the biggest wolf, nudged Jacob making him stumble backwards slightly with the movement, which allowed Seth to yank him backwards as Sam continued to push and shove him with his head, until they disappeared into the woods.

My heart was breaking as I watched Jake's fearful eyes penetrating mine, despite everything his eyes had never left mine, except when he had looked at Edward briefly to yell his threat. I needed to go to him, I tried to step around Edward for a second time, but he grabbed me and pulled me into a cold embrace so different to the one I just left. I was already missing Jake and his warmth.

"Edward, Jake-" my voice muffled by his suit and the tightness of his embrace.

"Is fine. Sam has him controlled."

"He doesn't need to be controlled Edward! He needs me. He isn't-"

"An unpredictable, unstable, dangerous mutant canine who nearly killed my wife and my sole reason for living because of some stupid crush?" he snarled, as a growl erupted from behind us, startling me. I tried to turn to see if Jake had returned but Edward's embrace was restricting any movement on my part. I only caught a glimpse of fur, but with the darkness and my poor human eyesight it made it nearly impossible to distinguish the color of it. It looked a dark brown, so not Jacob, maybe Quil. Edward looked at the wolf, and nodded coldly. I twisted around the best I could, before whispering "I'm sorry, tell Jake I-", but Edward pulled me away and back towards the party, the wolf, whoever it was, watched with cold, sad eyes, before turning and rushing into the woods. My heart felt like it had fractured, the part that was Jacob's and I knew no matter how long I had left as a human, or even as a vampire, that that part of my heart, and my soul would forever remain his.

The rest of the evening was a blur, my mind only focused on Jacob, I wanted to get away to speak to Billy but Edward never left my side. All I could think of was how Jake had looked, how I had broken him beyond repair this time, how he reacted, what he said before I had ruined it, how he had come here for me, as a gift despite what it must have cost him, or the pain it would have caused him to come, and then how he had looked, as he was pulled away.

I needed to get away to him. But that would be impossible. Instead I vowed I wouldn't be changed until I had chance to see him and rectify things I needed him to know- what? What is it that you need to tell him? What was it that was suddenly making me doubt my future as a vampire or at least the making me delay it a little while longer? It felt like something had changed but I couldn't understand what it was. I knew I needed time to think and I wasn't about to get it in the middle of a wedding reception. My wedding reception. To Edward. And here I was thinking about another man, and not just any man, but Jacob, the man I gave up to be with Edward. I was suddenly wondering if I had made the right decision, only hours after promising vows of forever to Edward. I had meant them, right up until I saw Jacob, hearing him talk of goodbye, had made it all seem so final, I wasn't ready to give him up as selfish as that was to any of us. I had missed Jacob so much, I had felt incomplete and now he was back, he had made today perfect, but I realized I wasn't happy. I'd just been lying to myself. Jacob was right, he was always right. But how much of what he said was right? I was a tornedo of emotions and confusion.

All too soon, Alice was dragging me away to get changed, with Esme and Renee's help. I knew it didn't need them all, but I felt my mother needed it, and I knew it would most probably be the last time I saw her, or will it? A little voice in the back of mind asked, the same little voice which kept popping up randomly with little doubts and niggles. "I love you mum, thank you for everything" I hugged her tightly, my voice thick with emotion, as she wept openly.

I went searching for my father to say goodbye. He seemed to be hiding, his red eyes explained why. I took after my father in a lot of ways, our lack of ability to show our emotions being one of them. My heart ached seeing him looking so sad. He looked like he was at a funeral I thought instead of a wedding. My wedding, his daughter's wedding, I wasn't sure if I was ready to say goodbye to him either, and felt slightly better knowing that when I came home I could settle things with Jake and see my dad one last time, so he could see me happy and know whatever happened or where I ended up or however the Cullens' covered my change he would know I was happy. Wouldn't he? That depends are you still thinking of changing? He doesn't have to miss you -Only if you change. The little voice echoed again. I hugged him fiercely as my own eyes streamed with more tears, I had cried more tonight than I had since- since the night I had told Jacob I didn't love him as much as I did Edward, nausea rolled in my stomach, and I gagged, alarming my father, I waved at him, as I rushed behind the wall, worried one of the vampires and their supernatural gifts would rush to investigate. I heard dad worrying and him reply to someone, but as I had ducked my head between my legs, to try and center myself I had no idea who it was. I prayed it wasn't Alice or Edward, but was surprised to find Rose and Esme. Esme was rubbing my back and Rose was chatting to a worried Charlie and keeping watch, or so it seemed. I smiled weakly at Esme as she helped me up, and Charlie rushed over to me. "Bella are you okay?" "Of course Dad, it's just-" I faltered unable to come up with an explanation, it was Rose who answered for me, "Nerves, you know how Bella hates surprises Chief Swan, and now she's about to leave for the honeymoon, it's finally hit her she doesn't know where they are going", she gave him a dazzling smile, but I felt like there was a message in there for me, but my head was a whirl with far too much already.

Although I knew, I had made a vow to make it back to see him before I was changed I still felt like I needed him to know how I felt, how much he meant to me, and knew that as much as it pained both of us to show our emotions, I didn't have the time to worry about being embarrassed or self-conscious.

"Dad, I love you, so much. Don't forget that, okay. You-" my voice broke as emotions took over me, Charlie pulled me to him, and wrapped his arms, around me, "I know kiddo. I know. I love you, always have, always will. Don't you forget that, and no matter what happens, you always got me, can always come to me and you always have a home here", this time his voice broke, and he quickly wiped his eyes, and coughed. "Now you better go, we don't want you missing wherever it is you're going" he muttered gruffly, pulling his moustache down with his finger and thumb.

I smiled up at him, and hugged him again, before I heard him mumble something under his breath, puzzled I leaned back to ask, but Edward's voice interrupted me, seeing my father's face darken, I knew whatever he had said had been aimed at Edward, and I was once again hit by a wave of affection for him, even after giving me away to Edward, he still felt protective of me. We may not be very vocal or able to show our emotions well but that gesture showed me more than anything else, he really did love me above all else- despite what I may have believed as I grew up. I felt a pang of guilt at how badly I had treated him, I needed to rectify a few things with my dad I realized before I was ready to say goodbye to him properly like I was with Jake. Giving a small affectionate smile I leaned forward and placed a kiss on his cheek, as he did the same, I gave a small indiscreet sniff of his aftershave trying to commit it to memory, the same as I had done with Jake earlier, and I was sure Jake had done the same, although neither of us would ever have admitted it to the other.

"Call me" he called as Edward pulled me towards the car. "I will! I promise" I shouted back over the cheers and clapping as Edward opened the door so I could climb into the car. He appeared besides me, "Ready?" He asked, and gave me his dazzling smile, I nodded afraid to speak. In truth I wasn't sure if I was, anymore.

I rolled down the window, and shouted "I love you" to where all of my family stood; human, vampire and the last two remaining pack family I had, Billy and Sue. A tear slid down my cheek as I waved at them all, feeling like I was never going to see them again, instead of about to embark on my honeymoon with the man I loved more than anything else.

As Edward raced through the night I peered out of the window, silent tears falling down my cheek, an unsettling feeling in my gut, and my mind miles away when a noise brought me back to the present, I knew if I could hear it then Edward definitely could, as he reached for my hand and squeezed it tightly, before he raised it to his cold marble lips to kiss. I smiled at him, but kept my face looking out the window, as the piercing heartbroken howl, tore me to the core. I realized then that I knew I had made a mistake, I knew the moment Jake had let go of me, and then again when Edward had not let me return to Jake's arms, that I had made the biggest mistake of my life the day I looked at him beaten and broken and bare faced lied to his face when I said I loved Edward more than him.

As the wolf howled his heartbreak over losing me, I knew the boy would be even more heartbroken. I cried for not realizing sooner that I belonged with him, and to him. All the while Edward pressed his foot to the accelerator trying to put as much distance between me and my true soul mate.

For far too long I had been pushing everything to the back of my mind, not admitting to even myself that I truly did love Jake, that I was in love with him. Had I been too scared to admit it or even acknowledge it? I knew my fear of him imprinting was a huge part in it- that I wasn't afraid to admit. I was scared if I did choose him I could end up losing not just him, but everyone. I'd lose Edward and the Cullen's the moment I admitted where my heart truly belonged. I'd gain my father back in my life and Billy and all of my La Push friends as well as keeping Jake in my life but for how long? Could I take that kind of heartbreak and loss all over again? I had survived Edward leaving, but only just. And that had been because of Jacob; He had painstakingly put me back together again, bit by bit, and then held me together, but if I lost him, when he imprinted I would lose everything. The fear of losing him had always been my biggest worry, even more so than losing Edward again. With Edward I knew as long as I was changed he wouldn't leave me, again. Only fear for my safety would make him leave me again, and now we were married that wouldn't happen. Edward was my safety net I realized. Once upon a time I had wondered if I could be with the one who loved me, try and love the one who loved me, and make it work, all the time thinking that person was Jake, that Jake could be my safety net- if I chose him. Yet now I had finally acknowledged that wasn't true anymore or if it ever had been. However, ever since imprinting had been mentioned it had became as huge to me, as my changing was to Jake. So instead of talking to Jake I did what I always did, I buried my true feelings for Jake, instead I clung to Edward, maintaining it was still him I loved. Yet Jacob leaving had finally opened my eyes and my heart to what I didn't want to recognize. And watching him being pulled away, just re-enforced it to me, especially after he had only just told me he couldn't bear to say goodbye or that he would have to pretend I had died was like being hit wit a sledgehammer straight into my heart.

I had barely slept since the newborn fight, and whenever I did, I was haunted by all the things I refused to admit or thinks about, consciously. Instead I was plagued in my dreams, as the thoughts of Jake and I came alive and I'd live out those fantasies until morning and the cold icy embrace of Edward would wake me, and once again I'd sweep everything off to someplace else, in the hope they wouldn't find me again and if I threw myself into the wedding and surrounded myself with Edward I would hopefully forget. But I was just deluding myself.

Seeing Jake tonight had made me realize that I was being weak, running from my fears which were only hurting him because I couldn't be honest with him or even myself. I was running, from him, from myself, from the truth, and as a result I had hurt and was still hurting so many people because I couldn't be honest or sincere about my true feelings. I wasn't sure how much longer could I do this? hours? Days? Weeks? Months?Years? Or if at all. But how long would I get with Jake before he left me? But I knew no matter how long I got I wanted it, I wanted him. I wanted whatever time I got with him. All these emotions rushing and crashing through me – yet it had never been so clear as it was right now, as I felt the tears running down my face, so fast I couldn't stop them. I could do this, I had to do this, I looked to Edward, I knew he would know I was crying, and my heart ached knowing I was going to hurt him, and I had done so selfishly, because I refused to admit my feelings had changed, instead I buried them and ignored them, lied to him and to Jake, and to everyone else, and now in front of everyone I had made promises, I had always thought I would keep, but how could I when I loved someone else. I could never give Edward my whole heart, I sighed remembering once when I had thought the same of Jacob, but both had accepted my heart would never be whole, that both had a piece each, but as time had passed, my heart had slowly switched sides, Jacob's small fractured piece had swelled and grown, taking over the majority, which had once belonged solely to Edward now belonged to Jacob, and only a small piece remained with Edward's name carved in it. I had no idea how or when this had happened I was only now allowing myself to see it. I had never once faced up to the pain and hurt my actions, decisions or lack of ability to love only one person had caused as it did now with the full force of Jacob's pain hitting me in his heartbroken howl.

Edward kissed my hand, trying to make me look his way, as I try to smile and pretend everything is okay, but I'm not deceiving either of us, and I'm only fooling myself trying to pretend I can carry on like this. I look out into the darkness and wonder if I could find my way back, what I would say.

I had spent so long trying to keep myself together, to make sure I never left myself exposed, to let others see me as I truly am, all my flaws, faults and imperfections but Jacob had, he always could see me, stripped bare of all the pretences and barriers. He could see through the masquerade and see me, the real me and that scared me as much as the risk, the fear of the unknown did, vampirism seemed like a walk in a park compared to what awaits me when I go back- when I go back? Am I going back? I know I am I don't know why I try to fool myself why I still lie to myself.

I hope he can forgive me, after everything I had said or done, all the things I had promised him and subsequently let him down on, all of them. I had vowed to always be there for him, and yet I hadn't- instead I had ran away when I got scared. I said I cared for him, but then told him it wasn't enough, instead I walked away and let him down when he was broken and beaten. Instead I broke him even more because there was far too much I couldn't say. I broke him and now I realized I had broken me at the same time. His pain always was my pain, and now I can hear it and feel it, tearing down all my walls, all my defences ripping me bare.

"Edward stop! I can't. I'm…"

"Come on love, we're here!" My head hurt, and I felt incredibly sleepy, and foggy. "Bella love, you need to wake up we're here!" I could hear a murmured voice which sounded like they were miles away. But still I tried to find my way through the fog to the voice, I recognized as Edward's. My head pounded and thumped, it had never felt this painful before, not even when I had concussion which was a far few times to know that this wasn't the same feeling. Darkness seemed to grab hold of me again as I slipped out of consciousness, to Edward reassuring someone he could carry me and blaming my tiredness on it being a long day. Somewhere in the back of my mind, something stirred trying to prick my conscious to say that wasn't true, but the fog was too strong.

I came too with the same banging, throbbing pain in my head. "Bella, you need to wake up or they won't let us board the plane", I tried to open my eyes, but the blinding lights above me made me yelp, I tried to lift my head, but it was a dead weight and I felt it roll back again, as Edward growled at my inability to wake up. I desperately tried but the most I could do was open my eyes, a slither and try to speak but I sounded drunk, slurring incoherently.

"Sir, is your wife okay?"

"Yes, yes she's fine" Edward answered, startling me, wife?

"Oh, oh, er…" she stammered in response.

"Could you help us get on board first please, it's been a very long day, and we have done a lot of traveling, for our honeymoon. I think it's taken it out of her", he replied in the voice he used to make humans feel dazzled, and confused. I wanted to say something or laugh as she flustered to do her job, knowing what Edward's smile and voice were like when he wanted to persuade you to do something, it – he was almost intoxicating, but my own mind was far too intoxicated with foggy sleep to be able to do or say anything. I felt him, re-position me in his arms, and myself being carried through a loud arena, which made my ears and brain hurt with the noise, I tried to speak but still only a few noises came out.

"You have got to be kidding me", I heard Edward hiss.

"Sir, could you step this way", someone asked.

"Is there a problem? As you can see I have my arms full at the moment and I'd really like to board the plane, so my wife can remain sleeping it's been an extremely long day for her, well both of us. We would just like to rest before we reach our honeymoon destination- as you can imagine", there was something suggestive in his tone, but the other person didn't seem to register it or chose to ignore it.

"Sir please could you and your wife step this way. This won't take a moment", another more firm voice spoke.

"Yes, fine, this better be quick, we have a plane to catch" Edward snapped.

"Bella, wake up now" I felt myself being shaken, and lowered to the ground, I clutched at Edward's shirt to steady myself, as he wrapped his arm around me to keep me upright.

"Sir is your wife alright?" a female voice asked, as I tried yet again to make my body respond to my demands.

"Yes! She is fine, it's been a long day and a lot of travelling as I keep telling you all, she is just tired and with the medication the doctor gave her for her fear of flying it's just made her more drowsy than normal", he reassured them as they all murmured their understanding, as I tried to remember if I was scared of flying, but it hurt to think. I tried to smile reassuring at the woman who looked the most nervous, of Edward or of me I wasn't sure.

More talking was taking place but I somehow managed to tune it out as I tried to will myself to stay awake. I was surprised when a dog came in the room and began wandering around our belongings and then around us, growling, which shocked me.

"Ma'am- can you step away from your husband for a moment?" a tall, stern looking man with white hair and a greying moustache asked, as he took me by the elbow to support me. I looked at Edward alarmed, scared I would fall over. Edward misreading thought I was scared of being removed from his side.

"It's fine my love, they just want to see who the dog doesn't like. Which I can assure you will be myself, for some reasons dogs don't like me do they Bella?"

I don't know why but I found this oddly hilarious and began to laugh loudly, which made my frame wobble.

"I think that maybe the medication", Edward muttered crossly.

"Well he seems to like your wife", the man with the dog replied as the dog licked my hand, and nuzzled into me. "Never seen Gunner, react like to anyone before", he chuckled as he smiled up at me.

"Yes, well dogs do seem to take some sort of over the top liking to her", Edward retorted.

"That's more than a liking sir, I'd say he is fully armoured with her", his owner replied as I giggled girlishly or drunkenly at him. I attempted to bend down to pat the dog, catching Edward's glare as I did so. I had no idea what had gotten into him, but then I couldn't remember anything at the moment, my brain began to slowly clear as I patted the dog and he licked my face and wagged his tail.

"Can we go now?"

"Yes sir, there doesn't seem to be anything amiss- just for some strange reason the dog took an aversion to you- our apologies." Again I found this highly amusing, even though I wasn't sure why.

"Come on Bella" Edward hissed, dragging me out of the room, as he grabbed our belongings on route. He was beyond livid when he was told we had missed our boarding time but that there was another plane in twelve hours' time. Instead he got us on another fight that would take us to within three hours' drive of wherever we was going and made them organise a car for us. My head was beginning to slowly fell less groggy and less painful, as I watched Edward rant and rave. It was beginning to make me think I really didn't know him, not really. He walked over to me and handed me a cup of water, urging me to drink it while they sorted through yet more details, for our change of plans. I wrapped my hands around it, but dint take any instead I looked up at Edward as he smiled, my smile back down at me, "drink Bella, you need to keep your fluids up, it will help clear your head", I smiled but failed to drink it, for some reason his constant gaze was making me leery.

"Bella, will you drink it for goodness sake so I can throw the cup away," he demanded, I took a hesitate sip but it tasted refreshing and cold, feeling bad for doubting him, I drank it desperately not realising how thirsty I was.

"Ah that's better. Feel better?" I nodded, and asked for some more which he happily went and got, before coming to tell us our plane was ready.

I come too as we were boarding a small speed boat, Edward smiled at me happily, "Hello sleepy head, how are you feeling? Everything will be just fine now", he grinned at me, before he revved the engine and we surged into the darkness. I was still laying cross the seat, trying to get my bearings, I didn't feel so groggy this time so I determined the sleep must have done me some good, but I still had a nagging feeling in the back of my mind, that I was forgetting something huge and very important.

"Ah there it is- look Bella, welcome to Isle Esme- our honeymoon destination", He beamed at me in the moonlight, as I could just make out the outline of something coming out of the sea. As we got closer, I could make out an island appearing, until we hit the shallow water of the beach and Edward turned around his face lit up with happiness and excitement.

"You are going to love it here, Carlisle brought it for Esme, as a wedding present, but they let us borrow it for our honeymoon, so it is just us here!" As his words hit me, my stomach rolled with fear, and my heart raced, and everything hit me all over again.

"Edward- I- can't…" I stammered as his face contorted.

"Bella, just give me tonight please- no not like that- don't worry. Just give me one more night with you before you rip my heart out and leave me for the- that- ARGH!" He roared.

"Look I need to go run, and hunt maybe. Why don't you unpack, have a look around or have a bath, but please don't swim in the sea, without me. Okay?" He looked so sad and defeated, I nodded. It was the least I could do.

He climbed back into the boat and with a roar of the engine disappeared into the night. I wandered from room to room around the house. It was decorated in the Cullens normal interior, pale whites, beiges and creams. I finally reached what would have been our bedroom, and gasped at the beauty of it. There was a four poster bed, with red rose petals scattered all over the bed and the floor, and candles adorned all the surfaces. I felt a huge lump appear in my throat, it felt wrong being in here, when I had no intentions of fulfilling my wifely duties with Edward, especially after I had spent months arguing with him, for this night. But now it was here I realised I didn't want to be here, or for this night to be with him. I decided a shower would help me think and opened my suitcase, surprised to see a letter from Alice nestled on the top.

Bella,

I don't know why but I saw that you would need this paper. There is a secret department at the bottom of the wooden box- the one I put all some new jewellery in, so Edward won't suspect. Burn this once you have read it. You need to follow these instructions carefully: remove all the jewellery, so u can find the compartment, then put everything back in and move it all around before putting the box at the bottom of the suitcase then do the same to all of your clothes, so your scent is on everything, and not stronger in one place, should he look.

Alice x

I looked up puzzled from her short note, which had been written in a rush but still her handwriting looked immaculate. I dug around for the small box, which was in fact a small chest, like a treasure chest but square and very ornate. Tipping all the jewellery out- which I would never wear- I searched for the secret department. Unable to find one I gave up and flung it onto the bed. It landed with a soft thud, but as it did I heard a soft plunk and stepped forward to open the lid of the box to appear inside praying by some miracle it was the box. Sure enough the bottom had opened, lifting two overlapping flaps, which now opened exposed the bottom. Another note was hidden inside which merely said;

HURRY.

Although I was unsure why, Alice was keen for me to have somewhere to hide things from Edward she obviously saw a reason so I did as she said. I burnt her note and began scribbling letters first to Renee, then to my dad, one to the pack addressed to Emily, and lastly to Jacob, while I was writing I suddenly had a horrible feeling stir in my gut something bad was going to happen, and whether Alice had seen it or had just seen the need for me to prepare I wrote down everything I had ever wanted them to know, especially Jacob. It wasn't until I signed the bottom, I saw the paper was dotted with tearstains, and blotted ink. I quickly hid the letters and buried them as she had directed and quickly rushed to the bathroom to wash my face as I heard the speed boat approaching. I quickly stripped off and dressed in my favourite slouchy pyjamas, thanking Alice for putting them in with the paper, as I knew what pain that would have cost her, especially when I saw they were on top of a pile of lacy and very expensive French lingerie. I quickly climbed under the blanket, and tried to slow my heart and breathing so Edward would think I had fallen asleep.

I heard him approach, and his cold hand, brushed the hair away from my face, exposing my neck as he leaned over to kiss my cheek, he whispered "I love you more than my own life", and sunk his teeth into my neck.

As searing pain surged through me as Edward penetrated my fragile skin, my eyes baulked as a blood curling scream echoed through the night as my life flashed before me, but it wasn't so much my life, but the people I loved. I got to see everything as an outsider, saw just how many chances I had had in my short life and all of them I had given up or lost, how many mistakes I had made, like marrying the wrong man, and making vows, that I knew even now, as I changed into something I no longer wanted to be, I couldn't keep and didn't want to keep and then I thought of all the bridges I had burned, and hadn't known how to fix, all the things I hadn't got the chance to say. Except now I would never get the chance. Had Alice seen this? Had she known and that was why… The burning in my neck was spending distracting me, and the pain was excruciating. I felt myself swimming in a vast sea of darkness I realized I didn't know how to get out, I couldn't find a way out. I could hear voices but the only one I wanted to hear is silent. I need you but I can't hear you, I try to draw your face to mind, as the darkness entices me in.

I'm screaming your name inside my mind hoping you will hear me but still I hear nothing, as the other voices grow louder. The only person I want is lost to me and as I scream in agony and writhe in pain. The darkness engulfs me finally taking me down, and the burning surrounds me and courses through me I scream your name one last time to save me.