Chapter 1
Belfast, Northern Ireland 2015
As I finish putting on my makeup, I hear a knock at my bedroom door. "Come in, sis! I'm just about done." I shout out." She pokes her head in and says. "You better hurry, you know how your dad and my mum, hate it when we are late." I simply roll my eyes and look at my step sister, through my vanity mirror. "Yea, yea. I'll be done in a minute. Meet you out by the car." As my step sister is fixing to close the door. I begin to ask. "Hey, Trinity. Do you think my dad will be willing to let me, tag along with Kerrianne? To visit her da, in Charming." Trinity sighs before she begins to speak." I think he'll let you go, but I also think that he will be sad. After all, you two just found each other. About 4 years ago." I turn away from my step sister, and look at myself in the mirror, and start to think back, to the day that I found out about my biological dad.
Indian Hills, Nevada. 2011
It had been a long night, at Dreamers (The strip club where I had worked, over the past 6 years.) Quinn, was waiting for me by the front door of the shitty place. As always ready to take me home, to my apartment. "Ready to get out of here? "Poison."" He mocked me. He always hated my stage name, but that's what everyone here called me. Even the rest of the sons of anarchy Indian Hills charter. "Take me to the clubhouse. Will ya?" I look at him as he shifts his weight from side to side. "Haven't you already been drinking, and if I'm not mistaking. Been snorting up, that crap you do!" I instantly begin to shout. "That doesn't concern you! Now take me to the fucken clubhouse! I want to party, with the rest of the guys!" Quinn puts his hands on my shoulders. "Bella! You are like my little sister, that I never had. Of course it concerns me! I've looked out for you, ever since you came here! With no where to go, and just a garbage bag with a few of your clothes in it!" I try to get away from him. But his grip only tighten. "Look, Bella. I'm not going to argue with you. I'm tired of always, trying to get you to understand me. You're 23, a grown woman now. I'm just letting you know now. That once I think you've had enough of partying yourself out. I'm throwing you over my shoulder and taking you home. Understood?" I look up at him and put a arm around his waist. "Don't you always." I smile at him. "You've been a good big brother, to me. At times you were a little too, overly protective. That's why I'm still a virgin! Will I ever get to know what sex is like?" We laugh, as we walk over to his motorcycle. Quinn hands me a helmet. "Not as long as I'm around. Those pricks won't stand a chance."
Once at the clubhouse, I go to the bar, and order a shot of whiskey. By the time I order, what happened to be my 13th shot. I feel someone, spin me around and tossing me over their shoulder. " Put me down! You big neanderthal!" I kick and punch away. "You've had way to much to drink tonight. Time for you to go home." We immediately make it to my one bedroom apartment. I quickly push the door open, and go into a fit of rage. "You're always ruining, my night! Why can't you just let me be! I can handle myself!" Quinn runs his hands down his face. "Bella." "It's, Poison!" I clarify to him. As I see the anger in his eyes. I immediately regret it. Quinn runs up to Bella, backing her up to the wall, and slams his hands on either side of her. "No! Now listen to me, Bella Aislinn Crowe-McGee! This "Poison" girl, you make yourself out to be isn't you! Poison, is just someone you created to push everyone away from you! Like a shield, to hide your feelings, and the true you! Bella, you are capable of so much more. I know you. I see right through you. You are just this lost spirit, trying to find herself. I'm sorry for everything that you been through, in the past. But that doesn't mean that you have to go through this life, being someone you're not. I suggest you get yourself cleaned up and find yourself. Before this "Poison" swallows you whole." Quinn takes one last look at her and walks out of her apartment. As soon as he closes my door behind him. I throw the nearest thing next to me.
For the next few minutes I trash my apartment. Feeling so angry at his words, but not because they were hurtful. But because they were the truth, I was lost. I'd been lost for a long time. I some how down the road lost myself. As I threw, and broke stuff. I come across a familiar little box, that I have long forgotten about. It was my mother's jewlry box. One that she gave me just a few short days, before lukiemia claimed her life. I sit on the floor and take it in my hands. I try opening it, but I take notice that I need a key. Key that I lost some time ago. So, I get up grab a hammer, and take a seat in front of my coffee table. I Crack open my mother's jewelery box, and out falls, a silver necklace. On that necklace is a silver charm of a crow. I instantly remember my mom wearing it around her neck. Never do I recall, her taking it off. Didn't even realize she wasn't buried with it. Without thinking it twice, I put the necklace on. Instantly making me feel like my mother is standing right in my living room. With that, I look down at the jewlry box, and notice paper poking through. I pull the envelope out, and notice my name on the front it. It's my mother's handwriting. I quickly tear it open, and immediately begin to read out loud.
June 10,2000
To my dearest child, Bella, if you are reading this letter, then that only means that I am no longer by your side. Well at least not physically, but in spirit I'll always be with you, wherever you may go. There's so much to say, yet so little time.
Remember when you were, just a little 5 year old fire cracker, and you asked me for your father? I said, literally shouted out, to never ask me that again. I'm truly sorry, hazel eyes. Just know that I wasn't mad at you, just know that I could never speak of him, without breaking down. I loved... still am very much in love with your father! Believe me when I say, that I'm SORRY for never speaking of him to you, and I'm SORRY for keeping you from him. It's just that I was afraid for you, I didn't want you to know his world. His world so full of chaos! No! I wanted something more for my unborn child. Hell, I wanted more for myself. I wanted to be a professional dancer, I wanted for the world to know me for my talent! But it wasn't ment to be.
I followed your father, to Belfast where the motorcycle club, that he was so devoted to, established a new charter. Where he would be president. The name of that motorcycle club is SAMBEL. SAMBEL, is part of the Sons Of Anarchy motorcycle club. The mother charter is in Charming, California. That's where one day, your grandparents decided that we would move to in 1979. I then met your father in 1980, I was only 20 years young, and your father was 41. His name... Keith McGee. I met him at the SAMCRO, clubhouse. Where some girl friends of mine decided we should hang out one night. From that night on your dad and I, instantly connected. Some say are relationship was unhealthy for one another, and it was. We were always arguing, more so me then him. But that didn't matter to us, we always ended up back together. I deeply believe that what's ment to be always find a way. And what's not well, it falls apart.
My precious, I encourage you to go to Belfast and find your father. Go and meet the only man that could ever own, my heart. I know he will accept you with open arms. Let him know that, I'm sorry for ever keeping you a secret, and for being so weak in his world. Also let him know that there wasn't a day that went by, where I didn't think of him. My sweet, rebel child. I'm sorry that I couldn't go on, that I let this illness over power me. Sorry for not taking the time to explain to you, why I spend so many days in out of hospitals. I just couldn't find the right words to say. I feel so weak, so much pain. But nothing hurts me more, then to look into those beautiful hazel eyes of yours. So full of life and so very cheerful, and know that I soon will no longer look into them. I hate myself for not fighting to make it to see you on your wedding day, or for one day to see your babies.
I LOVE YOU WITH ALL THAT I HAVE, BELLA AISLINN CROWE-MCGEE! DON'T EVER DOUBT THAT! BE GOOD, BECOME A WOMAN WITH SUCH GRACE FULNESS. LOVE WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND SOUL. I KNOW YOU HAVE THE COURAGE, AND STRENGTH TO BE A PART OF YOUR DAD'S WORLD. YOU ALWAYS FAILED TO SHOW ANY KIND OF FEAR, AND I ADMIRED YOU FOR THAT.
Take this necklace and always take me with you.
Love Always, Your Mommy
Linda Crowe
"Hello, earth to Bella!" Trinity waves a hand in front of Bella's face. Bella slowly comes out of her train of thought. "Jesus christ, what time is it?" "Oh, I don't know. Time for us to get going! We are late!" Trinity exclaims. With that said the girls run out to their car, and head to their parents house.
They pull into the driveway, and Maureen opens the front door. "You two girls are late! Everyone had been waiting!" "Sorry, mum. it..." Bella cuts off, Trinity. "It's all my fault, Maureen. Don't be mad at, Trinity." Maureen smiles at the girls as they walk in. "Everyone is in the family room."
As they walk into the family room, Bella walks up to her father. "Hey dad." She hugs him. "What kept you, so long?" McGee asks his daughter."Oh, you know girl stuff." She smiles, and takes notice of everyone else. "Hi, Kerrianne!" Bella quickly hugs her best friend. "Are you ready to hear some, lectures and rules?" Kerrianne asks, Bella. Who simply does a fist pump in the air. "Oh, yea! I've been looking forward to it!" The girls laugh. "Oh, good morning Mrs. Larkin." Bella looks at Fiona. The two never really quite seemed to get along. "Morning, Aislinn." Fiona, always called Bella by her middle name. Which Bella hated it. She turns away from the woman, and spots, Padraic Telford standing off to one corner of the room. Kerrianne's cousin and Bella's best guy friend. "Padraic! What are you doing here?" She runs up to him. "Well, I'm here to share with you an idea that I came up with." Padraic, looks at Bella with a mischievous look. "You came up with an idea? I don't believe it. Not good ol' Padraic." Bella smirks at him. "Funny, but unlike you. My idea won't be getting us into any trouble. I think it will actually help you and Kerrianne out." He simply smiles at his friend. "Sounds boring." Bella says with a giggle. Padraic then nudges her, on her rib.
"Ok, so are we going to talk about this, or what?" McGee blurts out. "Yes, dad. Kerrianne wants to go to charming to visit her, da. And well. I'm going with her." Bella getting right to the point. "What a way of laying it down easy, Bella." Trinity says from where she is sitting. McGee staring at his daughter, slowly gets up from his seat. "Don't be to harsh on her, Keith. Remember she is a full grown adult." Maureen says. "Going? You are going? Just like that. Didn't even think about asking me, before making up your mind." McGee says behind his teeth. Bella gulps before speaking. "Dad. I'm letting you know right now. I knew you would get like this. I just think, it'll be good for, Kerrianne to have someone she truly knows by her side." McGee booms out. "Oh, really. Are you sure it's about Kerrianne, and not about you. About how strange it is for you to be so close to your ex boyfriend, Geezer!" Bella's eyes go wide. "Dad. I...I'm sorry for not listening to you. To stay away from the club members, but it happened. We dated for a few months, and it's all over now! What's wrong from getting away for just a little while." McGee's anger seems to fade away. "Bella, I just found you. I want you close to me, it's all." Bella, takes a hold, of one of her dad's hands. "I know dad, but there is some history of you and mom, in Charming. I just want to see the place that the two of you met. I want to walk on the same ground she did. Know the people she got to meet. I'll won't be gone, too long. I promise." Her father sighs "Ok, ok you may go to charming. Under one condition." He puts a finger up. "What's that dad?" "Stay away from the SAMCRO men!" McGee says firmly. Bella puts her hands on her hips. "What kind of a woman do you take me for? I only been with one, biker freak, and I don't intend to be with another. Well at least not any time soon." Bella and her father laugh.
Kerrianne then stands, and begins to jump up and down. "We are going to Charming!" "Watch out, da!" Bella adds. They begin to laugh. "Oh, wait." Bella says. "Padraic, what was your idea?"
***Auther's Note***
Hi. I'm so totally new at this whole writing thing. So please bare with me. I love SOA, and this story has been stuck in my head, for weeks now. So, yea I just decided, I would write it. Let me know what you think. All opinions, ideas, and any information, would be greatly appreciated. Like I said I'm new at this, so take it easy on me. LoL. If you see any mistakes, please let me know. I'm really trying to become better at this. Thankyou.
P.S This is an AU! Doesn't follow any of the SOA story line.
