This is set in the same universe as my fic, Escape Plan 145b, but you don't need to have read that one first.
The events of the movie happened mostly the same way, I'll get around to writing what happened differently in my universe eventually.
I don't own Megamind
Wayne slouched back against the wall and watched the party unfold around him. He hated these things with a passion, what he wouldn't give to back in his sanctuary working on his latest musical masterpiece. He's sure this one really had potential.
But, no, he's stuck here. The main event had already finished, but the socializing amongst all of Metro City's finest was still in full swing and Wayne Scott, sole heir of the fabulously wealthy Scott family, couldn't just disappear after donating nearly his entire fortune to charity. The decision had cost him no end of ire from the public, but he just wasn't cut out for this life. Wayne didn't have the head for business and trying to balance all of the financial account, dealing with the lawyers, and meeting with business boards had been giving him headaches ever sense his father had passed away. Wayne had known he'd always been a disappointment to his father, Lord Robert Scott, even if the man had never said so. Mother had at least understood him better; let him focus his energies on becoming a hero and helping people. In the end it was still always about appearances, keeping up the family image and properly representing the family.
Now, there was on one left anymore, just Wayne. No one to stop him from just retreating into his sanctuary and pretending the rest of the world didn't exist.
Well, almost no one. Roxie had berated him, dug a suit out from his closet, and had gotten him presentable. Wayne felt immensely awkward in the old white suit. Not only hadn't he worn the suit in years, but it had been mother's favorite, not that Roxie had known that. She was right though. He needed to be here. Besides, after this he was officially unimportant. Even now his lawyers were finishing the corporate merger things that had to be handled in order for Wayne Scott to officially no longer be in charge of his father's companies. Wayne wasn't need for any of that, thank god.
Now, with Metro Man already dead, after this Wayne Scott could disappear into obscurity as well.
True freedom.
Somewhere in the city a siren started, firetruck, two police sirens added to the chorus. It caught Wayne's attention and he unconsciously focused on it. People were screaming, the sound of chard wood collapsing.
Someone was probably dying right now.
It wasn't his problem anymore. Not his responsibility. Someone was always dying somewhere. The city was always screaming, fighting, killing, and hurting. He just couldn't do it anymore. Couldn't save everyone and trying just hurt him more.
Metro Man was dead and he was staying dead.
Around him the party moved, dozens of people oblivious and unconcerned about the tragedy unfolding elsewhere in the city. The rich snobs around him had long sense given up trying to make small talk with the eccentric but no-longer-rich playboy, so Wayne was left alone leaning against a wall. He stuffed his hands in his slacks' pockets and tried not to listen. It was hard. He'd spent so much time alone, buried in his sanctuary under layers of soundproof plating miles away from the city that he was out of practice at tuning out his super hearing.
Wayne's reason for being at this party laughed, the rich sound of it floating through the room. Wayne focused on that rich voice and used it to drown out the noise and chaos of from the city around them. It was the one consolation to being at this party; that he was here too.
Wayne may have occasionally enjoyed being in the spot light, but he found it exhausting. The only thing that had gotten him through all of his appearances as Metro Man was the knowledge that when he started getting overwhelmed or worn out he could just take off claiming to have overheard an emergency, 'sorry citizen, I'm needed elsewhere' and flashing a grin was all it ever took. If he was ever stuck at a very important event then Megamind was sure to crash it, but Megamind wouldn't be crashing this party, not when he was the guest of honor.
The blue man could claim all he wanted that he hated these functions as much as Wayne did, but it was obvious that Megamind adored the attention. Whether he was a 'jittery ball of nerves' or not didn't matter, the blue alien exuded confidence and charm with ease. Wayne watched as Megamind laughed again, bantering with the chief of police, a new hobby the retired super villain had taken up. Everyone knew that Mr. Blue had been and still was the shadowy overlord of Metro City's underworld, but no one could prove it; and with the lawyers Megamind had on retainer, Wayne was sure they never would. So Megamind as Mr. Syx Blue-Ritchi couldn't be denied his newly claimed place in society running both a robotics company and the nonprofit charity Metrocity's Caring Blue Hands; the very charity which Wayne had just given an enormous sum of money. Really it was all just a formality. Megamind had already been handling most of Wayne's accounts over the past year and a half. His little buddy was just so much better at it.
One night, a while back, Megamind had been over visiting Wayne in his sanctuary and they'd started talking about their childhood. In a quiet moment Megamind had admitted how jealous he'd always been of Wayne's life, and how when their two little pods had been crashing to the planet's surface, Wayne's pod had knocked Megamind's pod off course. In a different world, this genius blue man might have been Wayne Scott instead. Just another in the long list of regrets that Wayne had accumulated over the years, because Megamind would have been brilliant at Wayne's life.
Over the years he'd watched little Blue turn trash into works of brilliant mad genius, had watched his frenemy take every hardship and disadvantage given to him and weave it into strength. During their decade of battles as Metro Man and Megamind, Wayne had witnessed his nemesis reshape the city around them through subtle manipulation and destructive force. The small boy that Wayne had once bullied had become a brilliant mastermind walking a careful tightrope between good and evil with the entire city held in the balance. If Megamind had been able to do all that starting from nothing, what would he have become with all the privileges that Wayne had taken for granted? It was a sobering thought.
Even before they'd started hanging out socially, Wayne had realized that he trusted his self-proclaimed villainous nemesis with the care of Metro City more than he trusted himself with it. Those thoughts, along with his growing weariness and depression had led to his disastrous retirement as Metro Man, which in turn had led to the Tighten Incident. Roxie and Megamind may have forgiven him, but Wayne would never forgive himself. He'd nearly cost himself the only real friend he'd ever had and the one person that meant more to him than anyone else in the world. Another regret.
Trying to refocus his thoughts from the gloomy spiral he'd gone down, Wayne watched Roxie appear at Megamind's elbow to steer him away from the irate police chief. They were perfect for each other. Wayne had seen it long before the two had started dating, how much they adored each other. From his height advantage over the crowed Wayne followed the couple with his eyes, Megamind pulling Roxie into a kiss and they laughed and danced despite it not being that kind of party. Roxie was lovely in a brilliant blue dress with white trim that flowed over her wide hips and gathered at the waist. Megamind was her counterpoint in a stark black suit and shockingly blue vest. Both designs clearly Minion's work, a perfect blend of form and function.
Megamind had defied tradition in his wardrobe and had neglected the quintessential black tie these events called for. That long blue neck exposed with the charcoal grey collar of the blue man's dress shirt loose. Wayne could get lost just watching that small adam's apple bob up and down as Megamind spoke. Or into those brilliant green eyes…
Crab Nuggets.
Wayne had been caught staring; Megamind had locked eyes with Wayne from across the room. Swallowing, Wayne quickly looked away; there were always drinks at these events. God he needed one right now.
Pushing his way carefully through the crowd of guests and trying not to make eye contact that would force him into uncomfortable small talk, Wayne made his way to the hors d'oeuvres table and flagged one of the waitstaff for a glass of champagne. Right now he'd prefer scotch, but that would have to wait until later when he could escape.
Wayne was so preoccupied in not looking were his former nemesis was that he was taken completely off guard when Megamind appeared beside him.
"Apparently I'm using some kind of horrible mind control ray on you," Megamind chuckled, snagging his own glass of champagne.
"Is that so?" Wayne stiffened in surprise, barely keeping himself from shattering the glass in his hand and his fingers tightened around it.
"MmmHm," Megamind took a sip of the bubbly alcohol, "I'm still dumfounded that these morons are oblivious to who you are."
At Wayne's blank look, Megamind continued, "You," he waved in Wayne's direction, "grew a beard. Changed your hairstyle. That's it! How no one recognizes you is beyond me! Even before all this, no one ever brought it up! Before I thought that maybe they were just being polite, but this is blatant stupidity." His face was so animated as he ranted, his hands dancing through the air, nearly spilling his drink.
"Well, people just don't see what they don't want to see, I guess," Wayne countered, he'd wondered about it himself years ago, now he was just desperately thankful for it.
Megamind blew out an exaggerated sigh, mumbling about the soft-headed masses, "It looks good on you. The beard I mean." He shuffled, glancing sideways up at Wayne through long dark lashes.
Rubbing at his neck, Wayne just chuckled softly in embarrassment. Growing out the bread had just been laziness. During his solitude, he'd given up on anything to do with maintaining appearances. Nothing really mattered after he'd faked his death.
"You, ah, look good too, in a suit. I need to convince Minion to make me something like that, looks comfortable, little buddy," he's rambling. Wayne never knew what to say around Megamind anymore. It was better when he had lines and a role. Banter had come easy back then.
"Oh it is. The fabric is the same stuff he makes my cape out of." What goes unspoken was that Minion would never offer such services to Wayne. Roxie and Megamind may have forgiven Wayne, but Minion had not.
"Where is the fish anyway?"
Megamind frowned at Wayne, but pointed off to the far side of the room anyway, "Minion's on security detail, in case someone decides to crash the party."
Right, the downside of walking the thin neutral line between good and evil, Megamind had made many enemies, both in the criminal world and among the city's new aspiring heroes. Following Megamind's finger Wayne had to strain his vision beyond normal human sight to make out Minion's shape through the hard light hologram that disguised him as a security officer guarding the back door. Sweeping his vision throughout the room, Wayne now noticed Brain Bots stationed in the corners of the ceiling hidden under invisibility camouflage.
"Expecting trouble?"
"No, but this is the kind of party I would've crashed, so better safe than sorry," the former super villain shrugged.
Wayne just nodded, not sure what else to add so he changed the subject, "You and Roxie… things look like they've been going good." Just to torture himself.
"Oh evil gods yes! She's amazing," Megamind got that goofy dreamy eyed look, "I just feel like the luckiest man in the world getting to wake up beside her every morning. Some days it still doesn't feel real, you know?"
They were good for each other, Wayne was happy for them, he really was.
"I'm still astounded that you and Roxanne were never together, I mean together as in dating. I know why now of course," Megamind flapped his hands in the air, his cheeks flushed an adorable lilac, "not being your, ah, type, and all that…"
"Yeah. That." Roxie had told Megamind about him being gay, or implied it in such a way the genius had put it together. Wayne wanted to be angry about it, but he'd done so much worse and she was one of his only friends.
"Anyway! I guess I'm just surprised you're not here, you know, with someone. There have to be loads of men out there who'd want to date a gorgeous bachelor such as yourself."
He's right of course, Wayne could collect phone numbers just by going out and buying groceries, but Wayne didn't want just anyone.
"I'm just really not the dating sort," Wayne said, trying to drop the subject.
"Really, there's nothing to be ashamed about. I know this country still isn't the most progressive on the subject, but it's not outside of human norms. Plenty of people out there like you. Not just like you, obviously… I'm rambling, sorry. Minion is the one who's good at this sort of thing…" Megamind trailed off blushing further.
"It's ok, I'm fine," Wayne closed his eyes, taking a deep breath; "It took me a long time to come to terms with who I am. Not sure I'm really done figuring it out. I hurt someone that I didn't mean to when I was still trying to deny what I was feeling. Now I just… I have everything I really need, so I'm fine."
Wayne felt a light pressure and warmth on his arm; Megamind had placed his hand on Wayne's arm, though he looked thoroughly embarrassed about having done so, "I'm sure they'd forgive you. They'd be a fool not to. I mean you've come a long way since our days in the ol' shoolhouse." Megamind looked up with a crooked smirk that disarmed Wayne.
"I… I don't think I'd derive it. I… I broke a girl's arm," he blurted out. It's not what he'd meant to say, but it was true, "In high school, we were just kissing… and I just held her too hard."
Concern that he didn't deserve from those green eyes, blue hand rubbing small circles on his arm, Wayne continued, "This just doesn't work for me, I can't do it." Not even sure what it he's referring to anymore, but Wayne's not sure the subject really even matters, just the feelings that he can't burry anymore.
"You were a child. You can't hold yourself back from finding someone to care about because of mistake made ages ago. I'd never have gotten anywhere if Minion let me do that. You couldn't have had nearly the level of control over your powers back then as you do now," he was waving those blue hands frantically around Wayne again, bouncing as he spoke, "How many battles have we fought? Physical confrontations? You've never seriously hurt me."
"That's a lie and you know it, little buddy." There had been too many times for Wayne to even know the number.
"Those where accidents, they don't count. Besides, I heal quickly." Megamind waved his concerns off, but for Wayne every injury was a black mark against him.
Megamind bit his lip then, looking sidelong at Wayne, "You just need practice is all. Roxanne has been very good at teaching me the benefits of acquiring lots of practice in these situations."
Wayne's thoughts stumbled, arriving in his mouth in a jumble, "That's… I don't think… Roxie, what?"
The rosy flush on Megamind's cheeks increased and he flustered, "I was suggesting… never mind, just never mind."
Turning away, Megamind downed his glass of champagne and grabbed a new one, staring fixedly out at the party still milling around them. Actually, as Wayne tried to piece back together his confused thoughts, he's surprised that they were being left in such relative quiet being the two biggest celebrities here. That was until he noticed the Brain Bots hovering above them.
Noticing Wayne's attention Megamind answered the unspoken question, "Holographic field. It's only blocking me out, they just see you standing by yourself. I'm over there." He pointed and Wayne could see Megamind's double hanging behind Roxie like a shadow; inside the flickering light, visible only to Wayne, was a rather beefy looking Brain Bot.
"Wait. So everybody sees me standing here talking to myself?" Sure, why not add craziness to his growing list of eccentricities.
Megamind rolled his eyes, "Don't be ridiculous, Wayne. You look like you're standing here brooding, just like you had been before I joined you. It's on a recorded loop."
"Oh." Wayne wasn't sure if that's better or worse, "I think I could use some air."
Nodding, Megamind waved one of the floating Brain Bots down until it nestled in his arms, light seemed to condense around Megamind in a flicker of blue; Wayne had to focus to still see him.
"Meet me on the balcony." Megamind breathed, but it was still easily audible to Wayne's ears.
Nodding his head, Wayne followed, downing another glass of champagne on the way to calm himself.
When they reached the door Megamind turned and presented the Brain Bot toward Wayne, a brief flash of blue light scanned over him, then Megamind released the bot and waved for Wayne to join him outside. As he stepped through the doorway the Brain Bot shot around him and as Wayne turned to look, his double walked calmly through the door and back into the throng of party guests.
Bringing his watch up to his mouth, Megamind stage whispered, "Code: I'm leaving early."
With a crackle the watch responded in Minion's voice, "Code: with Mr. Scott?"
"Code: Yes."
"Code: fine."
"I don't want to cause any problems… you don't have to leave the party too, Blue. Go enjoy yourself, with your wife." Wayne was enjoying the company, but he didn't need a babysitter.
"Oh please, Roxanne has everything covered. Besides, she's forbidden me from antagonizing that bore of man, Chief Riner, anymore. It was the only stimulating conversation I'd found. Apparently getting in a fight with the Chief of Police in front of all the to-do of Metrocity's banal population would look 'bad'," said with exaggerated facial expressions and full air quotes, "and not the good kind of bad. She was basically kicking me out anyway. And Minion doesn't have a problem; that was code."
"Code for what?" Wayne raised an eyebrow at his overexcited little buddy.
"Just code. I don't have to explain the intricacies of mine and Minion's complicated code language to you," ah that haughty tone took Wayne back.
"That just means it isn't a very complicated code, doesn't it?"
"Intricate. Built on years of personal knowledge and trust!" Those blue hands were talking as much as Megamind was, weaving through the air between them.
"I'll just ask Roxie later." Oh how he enjoyed getting Megamind so worked up.
"Traitor!" Megamind shouted, pointing accusingly at Wayne.
"How am I being a traitor? Wouldn't Roxie be the traitor in that scenario?" Wayne countered, not that he was trying to get between Roxie and his little buddy.
"Oh, you know what I mean," Megamind huffs, crossing his arms.
Wayne's not sure he does.
Megamind turned to Wayne then and raised his arms expectantly, "Well?"
When Wayne just stood there, the smaller man dropped his arms to his sides again and glanced away blushing.
Oh. Right, they were still standing on the patio outside the country club, the party continuing inside.
Stooping, Wayne picked his little buddy up; Megamind's hands clung to Wayne's suit coat. Lifting them into the air, Wayne can feel Megamind's small arms slowly reaching up to wrap around his neck, hot breath on his skin, blue lips just barely brushing his neck. Wayne swallows thickly, control, he's had a lot of practice with that over the years. His arms still tighten around the fragile body though, warm in his arms. It's been a long time now since he's carried Megamind anywhere.
Wayne didn't ask; he just flew them to his sanctuary under the old schoolhouse. It's the only place Wayne wanted to be right now. Away from people and the screams and chaos of the city; away from the guilt that still plagued him.
He didn't want to let go when they arrived, but he had to. This was wrong; of all the horrible decisions Wayne had made, he wouldn't add this to the list. After all his bone headed mistakes, he knew how lucky he was just to have this amazing man as a friend. He couldn't risk losing that. Couldn't risk ruining the friendship he had for what wasn't possible. He let go.
Wayne imagined that Megamind looked confused when Wayne stepped back as they stood before the door. Imagined disappointment briefly flashing across those brilliant green eyes.
Megamind laughed heartily saying something that Wayne hadn't caught in his brooding and disappeared inside. Wayne followed, he'd follow forever.
Five drinks later, Megamind was giggling on Wayne's enormous white couch. They'd both long since discarded their suit coats and Megamind had shed his vest as well. The buttons of his charcoal grey shirt had slowly opened further, exposing more lovely blue skin, as Megamind complained about how hot he was getting. Wayne couldn't agree more.
What had they been talking about last? Wayne tried to retrace the conversation in his head, the alcohol in his system making this task harder.
"Really? You haven't even dated anyone? But you said that in high school..."
Right, Megamind had somehow brought the topic back around to Wayne's complete lack of a social life, "I really don't consider that dating, it had been one date. And that was the last time I bothered with it. That's why it had just worked out so well with mine and Roxie's fake relationship all those years. I didn't have to keep making excuses anymore."
Rolling to sprawl over the arm of the couch to get a better view of Wayne who was in the kitchen making a sandwich, Megamind continued, "But didn't you want to?"
"No! It's not really that big of a deal. Just drop it, ok buddy? Sex just isn't that important to me." He didn't want to be having this conversation again, not with Roxie and especially not with Megamind.
Wayne watched as more scotch sloshed out of Megamind's glass as it was waved about in explanation, "Sex is great, but that's not what I meant. Haven't you ever loved someone? That just seems so… lonely."
It was. God it was. Wayne forced himself to laugh, "I have everything I need, my music, my little buddy, and a good friend who'll kick my butt when I need it," and Roxie was good at that.
The look Megamind gave him was heartbreaking, "Which one of us is the outcast again? Because I'm pretty sure the hero is the one who's supposed to have the loving family, adoring partner, and close friends. The villain's the one who supposed stays in a solitary fortress, alone. When did we reverse?"
Wayne can't bear to try and tell Megamind that he'd doubled the number of friends he had since retiring as a hero, after all he had two now. Wayne just stood in the kitchen door, half made sandwich forgotten.
Megamind sat up, his glass abandoned, and pressed his fingers over his mouth in thought, "I can't believe I've loved more people then you."
Well it's pretty easy to have a higher number than one, but the way Megamind said it made Wayne ask, "How many?"
"Thirty six." Megamind said offhandedly.
"W-what? You've dated that many people?" how's that even possible?
"Evil gods no! I've loved that many people. That's different from romantic partners."
That made more sense, but still, "Thirty six, really?"
Megamind waved his hand vaguely, "Love is fluid and the English language doesn't have very good words to describe it in; but yes that many. I love Minion, Roxanne, you, Warden, my Uncles and the rest of my adopted family… I could name everyone if you really wanted."
Wayne hated how giddy it made him knowing that he made the list even if the context meant that it was just as a friend.
"But if your question about how many people I've loved was in reference to sexual partners, the answer is four. Depending on how you define sex."
Wayne's thoughts derailed once more, "How you define sex? I thought that was pretty straight forward there, little buddy."
"Well some people don't count blowjobs, but I do." The rosy blush was back in full force as Megamind fidgeted on the couch.
"Ah, yeah… I'd, ah… think getting a blowjob would count." Wayne really wanted to just end this conversation but his mouth betrayed him. He was trapped, needing to see it through to the horrible end, like watching an unstoppable natural disaster.
"Oh no, that wouldn't work," Megamind chortled looking back at Wayne, "I don't have the right parts to be on the receiving end of that. I was giving them, I'm fantastic," another nervous chuckle.
Giving blowjobs, that meant… that meant…
Oh shit. It meant Wayne had messed this up worse than he'd ever thought. Slowly he sank to the floor, back against the wall.
"Uhhh, did you just swear?" Megamind was leaning forward in concern.
Wayne was an idiot. If Megamind liked guys then all these year… If Wayne had just… He could have… But now it was too late. Megamind and Roxie were married and he'd missed his chance. All these years he'd forced his growing feelings down, knowing it would always be unrequited. He could never miss the way Megamind looked at Roxie, but… If Wayne hadn't been such an idiot, maybe it could have been him tonight who had been dancing and laughing with this amazing blue man.
"Wayne? You're scaring me. What's going on in that thick head of yours? Talk to me. Please."
Blue hands found Wayne's face, feeling the light pressure he relaxed allowing his head to be turned up. Megamind's brilliant green eyes were round with concern. He was all but sitting in Wayne's lap now. Bliss and torture all in one.
"I can't read your mind, you know. You have to start using full sentences. You aren't making any sense." Megamind was holding Wayne's face, cradling his cheeks, "Wayne, I don't know what to do."
Leaning forward, Megamind wrapped his arms around Wayne's head, drawing the large man into an embrace. Wayne could feel the sob wracking its way through him so he buried his face in Megamind's neck and gave into it.
Megamind's hands buried themselves in Wayne's hair, rubbing his scalp in soothing circles, "I don't know what I said, but I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed the subject. I'm so sorry. I just had thought that we could… it doesn't matter, I shouldn't have. I'm always screwing everything up."
Wayne couldn't help the bitter laugh that forced its way out of him, "I'm the one who messed it all up. I pushed you away. Idiot… all the things you've ever call me, I am. By the time I figured it out… you hated me. Now it's too late."
"Too late for what?" Megamind pulled back; he really was in Wayne's lap now. Leaning back against Wayne's bent knees.
The words came unbidden, the truth spilling from Wayne's lips, "For you to love me."
Megamind collided with him, blue lips capturing his mouth. Before Wayne could even move in his shock, Megamind darted back, "You." A kiss on his right cheek, "Are." Another on the left, "An." Blue lips brushing his nose, "Idiot." Butterfly light kiss on his forehead, heartbreakingly tender, those blue lips moved against his skin, "Metro Dunce, I already love you."
"But… you and Roxie…?" His traitorous hands had found their way onto Megamind's hips. Even for everything he's ever wanted, Wayne refused to be the other man. He wouldn't commit adultery and ruin the only two real friendships he's ever had.
Megamind sank further into Wayne's lap, running a hand down Wayne's thick neck, "You, my friend, are preapproved. I don't even have to ask."
"What?" This was all a dream, Wayne was passed out on his couch and this was a dream. It had to be.
Megamind made an exasperated sound, "Roxanne already approved you as someone she's ok with me having sex with. Try and keep up, hero." Megamind used his old villainous cadence, obviously trying to shake Wayne from his funk. He appreciated the effort.
"I'm not sure I understand." Wayne was lost and the way Megamind was playing with the top button of Wayne's shirt wasn't helping his focus.
"My people participate in relationships differently than humans do. Roxanne is my mate, but she's not the only one I want to express my love too physically," Megamind exhaled in frustration, "English just doesn't have the right words to explain the concept. Ah… the closest human explanation would be… polyamorous, Roxanne called it; having more than one romantic relationship. It's the closest comparison. Anyway! Roxanne already gave me permission to… ah, 'fuck some sense into you' was her exact wording." Megamind gave a nervous chuckle; the soft movements and resonance doing strange things to Wayne's insides.
"Roxie wants you to have sex with me?" Wayne couldn't process this thought, his head had become white noise.
Exasperated, Megamind crawled off Wayne's lap leaving a cold hollow feeling in his wake. Before Wayne could get too disappointed however, Megamind returned with a cell phone in hand. He nudged Wayne's arm until the large alien moved it and Megamind slid back into Wayne's lap, straddling him this time.
Wayne opened his mouth in question, but a blue finger on his lips silenced him. Megamind had the phone to his ear waiting. So Wayne just listened too, to the ringing of the phone.
Finally the line was picked up, "Hey Sweety, everything ok?" Roxie's voice.
"Ollo." Megamind's mouth quirked into a love struck grin, "Things could be going better here, but you were right. This was a very good idea. Wayne doesn't believe me though."
"That doesn't surprise me in the least. Give him the phone. No, wait, I need to get somewhere private first." The sound of movement and muffled voices from the party, a door opening then Roxie grunting and making shooing noises, "You can't come in here. Go guard the door. Sorry, Fifty Three was being clingy, but I do not want the kind rumors that would surface if people saw you going into the bathroom with me. It would be scandalous." She giggled.
On Wayne's lap, Megamind chuckled again, "Sorry about that. He does get quite overly affectionate sometimes."
"Don't be, I love that little bot as much as you do, goof. Now give the phone to Wayne." Megamind passed the phone to over.
"Hey, Roxie."
He could hear her sigh over the receiver, "Wayne, go ahead and ask."
"How can you be ok with this?" it spill out and he immediately regretted the wording of it as Megamind frowned at him.
"Ok. One, I've seen the way you two have been looking at each other for years. Honestly I'd been surprised nothing had happened between you boys back then," he can hear Roxie drumming her fingers on a counter, "Two, you're a good friend Wayne and I care about you. Three, Megs adores you. Four, I'm married to an alien and am friends with two other aliens; this is hardly the strangest part of my life. Five, being a part of Megs' four way relationship won't be that different from the threesome it is now."
"Threesome?" Even with his brain hardly working, Wayne knew the math didn't add up there.
"Minion," Megamind supplied, making patterns with his fingertips on Wayne's arm, "It's always been Minion."
"So, what I need from you, Wayne, is for you to sex up my dear sweet husband instead of making longing brooding eyes at him. Just do whatever it is you too are going to do, and send him home in one piece. Because, Wayne," Roxanne continued in the most menacing voice he's ever heard from her, "if you break him, I will destroy your Les Paul."
She would too. Roxie was incredibly destructive in anger and Wayne still hadn't been able to find a replacement for the priceless guitar she had smashed over his head during the Tighten Incident. Not that he hadn't deserved it, so he just said, "Yes ma'am."
"Good. Give the phone back to Megs." Wayne did, still rather in shock from it all.
Megamind lounged back against Wayne's legs, which resulted in the blue alien's legs drawing up to wrap loosely around Wayne's waist. Smiling lazily into the phone Megamind said, "Have I told you lately that you're amazing, because you are."
Roxie hummed over the receiver, "Only three times so far today, but you can say it again. I never get tired of it."
"You, Mrs. Roxanne Blue-Ritchi are amazing, and I love you." It would be sickening how sweet they were being if Wayne wasn't so distracted by the blue hand that was wandering again over the expanse of his chest.
Wayne heard Roxie laugh brightly over the phone, "I love you too. You boys have fun; I'll be over in the morning with donuts."
With that the phone was snapped shut and tossed over Megamind's shoulder where it landed on the couch. That gorgeous blue man leaned forward, hands resting on Wayne's broad shoulders. Megamind bit his lip looking at Wayne through long dark lashes again, "So, now that we have that settled. About that offer for a blowjob. That is, do you want one? Except you said you didn't really care about sex, so I don't-"
Wayne cut Megamind off with a crushing hug, laughing. It was all just so surreal.
"Urk! Breathe! I can't breathe!" Wayne relaxed his grip and Megamind gasped for air.
Before Wayne could start berating himself for the slip up, Megamind had leaned back in capturing Wayne's lips with his own. As Wayne tentatively moved his lips in response, Megamind became bold. His hands wound behind Wayne's neck, fingers tangling in the short hairs there. Wayne felt lost, just softly following the blue alien's lead. Megamind's warm tongue flicked over Wayne's bottom lip, drawing it into his mouth where he bit it. Tugging Wayne's lip hard between his teeth, Megamind groaned and pulled on Wayne's hair, the pressure of it tingling his nerves and urging him into movement. Wayne gasped, warmth spreading through him, coiling in his gut. He rested his hands gingerly on Megamind's hips and made small movements with his thumbs over those narrow hipbones.
Breathing hard, Megamind pulled back from the kiss and rested his large forehead on Wayne's, their noses lightly brushing, "So is that a yes then? On the blowjob thing?"
Chuckling, Wayne leaned in tentatively and placed a soft kiss on Megamind lips, their noses bumping awkwardly as he did so, "If it's you that's offering, then yes I'm interested." Wayne admitted, "I'm not so much gay as whatever you'd call just being attracted to you is."
"A blue-sexual?" Megamind mused, "I can work with that."
Megamind's breath was hot and distracting on Wayne's neck and one of Megamind's hands was wandering again, slowly dipping to play Wayne's shirt buttons.
A thought wandered back into Wayne's mind, "Earlier you said something about not having the right parts to get one yourself," he felt awkward asking, but curiosity overcame him. Also Megamind was sprawled sensuously on top of him, so maybe it was the perfect time to ask, "What are in these pants of yours then?"
Fidgeting with the collar of Wayne's shirt, Megamind then bit his lip before rolling his hips against Wayne in a sinfully delicious movement, "Why don't we move this to the bedroom and you can take them off me and find out?"
Swallowing, Wayne nodded, that seemed like a very good idea indeed.
