Author's Notes: So I have no idea where this came from, only that I wanted to write something angsty. As such, this thing will most likely have little plot beyond regrets of everyone's favorite rivals…that can of course be interpreted various ways depending on the inclinations of the reader. Anyway, this is my first Naruto piece, so hopefully I didn't maim the characters too badly (especially since I'm rather tired at the moment), but let me know what you think either way! Just try to be somewhat nice about it, okay? Fanfic writers are human too…(though sometimes you do have to wonder)…
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, its plot, characters, locations, etc.
Title: On This Battlefield
Rating: eh, no idea.
Chapter: One-Shot
Author: Singe
0O0O0O0
We can stand on this battlefield all night, staring each other down, waiting for something, anything to happen and our gazes to fall away from the eyes of the other. You and I can wait here forever; gazing silently across the bloody, corpse-strewn distance and the darkness that neither of us had wanted to acknowledge, once upon a time. Back then we could pretend that everything was alright, that I wasn't hiding the past and myself from you, and that in return, you would act as if you weren't hiding your own secrets from me. Sometimes I wonder how I could have missed it for so long…but then I wonder...did I really not see the truth? Or was I just trying to hide myself from you? Did I not want to admit just how weak I really was…how weak I still am? The reason why you couldn't see the dark cloud hovering so close by…I can only guess. But then again, you were never known for your intelligence. In any case I wish we were still that blind. Now, the shadows are unavoidable.
"Sasuke."
The words leave the one standing so close and so far away from me. It's your body and not your body. Golden hair too long, too dark without the blinding gold of the sun. A frame too tall, too strong, too scarred and jaded from the unrelenting stream of battles and time. Crystal blue eyes no longer full of laughter and the false bravado that so many refused to look underneath, only emptiness and jagged shards of promises long since broken. And that voice…that surely can't be the same obnoxious voice that once masked what you really felt. Is that it? Is that why it sounds so different, so unlike the person I remember? Have you finally stopped hiding, stopped pretending? That's good, I suppose; it means that at least one of us has.
I tried to once, did you know that? I tried to break free from the mask. We had been training, sparring out in the forest sometime after we had buried Haku and Zabuza, but before the exam that would change our lives forever. Things had been strange between us from the beginning, but it had been a comforting kind of feeling, but things had grown uncomfortable since the time when you had thought I had died to save you. Some days, I honestly wish that I had. Anyway, it had been raining and we were fighting, and suddenly, out of nowhere…I decided that I would tell you everything. And then the Chuunin exam started and I figured once we passed would be a better time, even if only because then I could reason to myself that if you passed, you would deserve to know.
But then things happened. He happened. And by the end of the test I could barely look you in the eyes, but all I wanted was to turn to you and say, "One way or another this is me, this is who I am, not who and what they've made me." I still tried to hold on to the path that we were walking together, even as we moved farther and farther apart. I suppose I gave up holding on the moment I looked into my brother's eyes. I let go when we fought on the hospital rooftop. But a small, locked away part of me thinks that I never have.
"Kyuubi." I refuse to call that body by your name…you could never be so empty.
"…You're wrong and you know it." You purposely leave off the expletive that was once your way of addressing me.
"Hn."
What could I possible say to you now? We're both covered in blood and both of us accept that it may never come off, the crimson staining more then just our hands. Because I tried to just walk away, but you were determined to stop me, for us to stay together. And then you left me no other choice. Back then, I tried to let go, but you refused to let me just leave. And so we fought, and even though I was the last one standing…I didn't win. I could never really win against you, not then, and not now.
Because on this battlefield, we cannot face one another as we were before. We cannot act as if there was anything ever between us. Here, we have to be simply strangers in the middle of a bloody, dangerous battle that just happen to be on separate sides of the war. We both have to believe that, or nothing will happen and nothing will change; the two of us will simply remain, watching each other, uncertain of the path to take. Ironically, you and I probably are little more then strangers at this point. You are not the Uzumaki Naruto I knew. He was loud, clumsy, and often a failure at all things that shinobi should be adept at. I am not the Uchiha Sasuke you once thought you knew. The me that stands before you is the face behind the porcelain mask that you never were able see (at least not until those final moments) and has been worn and stained with more blood and pain then you could ever imagine.
So we'll stand here and wait, until one of us can lie convincingly enough to our self so that we could attack without regret or until the order to retreat comes. Because I can still see the Naruto I knew, the strong-willed, unknowingly powerful boy who always did everything he could to best me…and to try and save me. And I imagine somehow, you think you can still see part of the Sasuke that you thought you knew in what remains of him in me. I can't really say what it is you see…I've never understood what you and the others ever saw in me.
But you were the one, always the only one…that tried to save me.
Thank you…
Thank you…but I think now…it's far past the time to say good-bye. Because here on this battlefield, I'll make certain that you are the one to walk away.
0O0O0O0
Ending Note: Well, that was short, rambling, and random, even for me. I hope it made some sortrt of sense..Personally, I don't really think this is really up to the standards I usually try to reach, but it's been a long day and I suppose it's okay for a drabble type of thing. I might go back and rewrite or add on to it later, but that probably won't be for a while. Once again, any comments/critiques would be appreciated, but flames/rants would really not be helpful.
