AN: This is a one shot written for my amazing friend Amanda! Happy birthday love! So yeah, the texts are all in italics! Enjoy!

A brand new IPhone five. Steve had Never been so disappointed in his whole life.

"Tony, you know I don't need a new phone! I'm perfectly happy with actually having conversations with people!"

Tony scoffed.

"Steve, listen to me. What about when I go on long business trips? We miss each other like crazy! This is going to help!"

Steve opened his mouth to protest, but Tony was right. They missed each other terribly on weekends or even a whole week or two when Tony was away. Steve had even resorted to sending letters on some of the longer trips.

"Well you could have picked one less complicated then! How the hell do you even-?" the blonde trailed off, fiddling with the small white block that was his Christmas present.

"Babe, no. Just stop. Let me show you." Tony shuffled from his place beside the roaring fire to sit by Steve at the Christmas tree. That's how they were sitting as they opened all of their gifts.

"You see, you just press here. Then click up here, then press this twice and open that there-" Tony continued to ramble, tapping and swiping like crazy at the screen. Meanwhile, Steve's head was spinning.

"Tony, can you just show me how to send a text please."

The brunette blinked at him.

"Pft, you could have just asked ages ago!"

Steve forced a smile. He knew Tony meant well and that phone obviously cost a lot, so he tried his best to seem pleased.

"Okay, so you just click here. Write your message and then send it to me. I'll save my name as a contact in a sec, Kay?"

Steve nodded and tried to repeat the process. Click there, write the message then send it to Tony.

The two lovers spent the rest of Christmas together and Steve was just thankful he didn't have to use the damn phone.

It wasn't until two weeks later he got his first text from Tony who was away for the weekend on business. It read:

Hey babe, wuu2?

Steve was of course hugely confused as he picked up the phone and read that. After some trouble, he managed to reply...

I don't understand Tony. You do realise I've only had this phone for two weeks? Please speak English.

Tony laughed to himself as he sprawled out on the hotel bed, phone in hand. Perhaps he could have a little fun with Steve.

Sorry babe, I was asking what you're up to.

Steve blinked down at the book in his hand.

Reading

Tony pulled off his restricting suit jacket, throwing it on the floor.

Oh yeah? You always look sexy when you read ;)

Steve blushed slightly, and yet was still confused.

Tony what is ;) ?

"Oh god!" Tony burst out laughing again, picking his beer up off the dresser and taking a sip.

It's a winking face babe ;)

Steve nodded in realization.

Oh, alright then.

It was obvious he didn't understand the techniques in trying to keep up a text conversation.

Don't you want to know what I'm doing?

Steve grinned. Sarcasm is something he could definitely understand and use himself.

Not really.

Tony smirked."That's more like it, he's loosening up."

Well I'm gonna tell you anyway. I'm sprawled out on a hotel bed all alone and bored.

Steve mirrored his partners smirk.

What part of 'not really' do you not understand?

The brunette took another sip of his beer.

Oh don't go playing hard to get on me Steve, I've already got enough hard ;)

Steve flushed completely, widening his eyes.

Tony I don't think we should be talking about this kind of thing through texts.

But it was too late, the billionaire was already pulling down his pants in eagerness.

Babe, trust me. Nobody can see this. Just have a little fun with me, Kay?

Steve bit his lip anxiously.

I'm really not sure Tony. How does it even work?

Tony couldn't help but smile at his partners innocence.

We just say the things we say to each other in bed.

Steve frowned.

Like goodnight and I love you?

Tony laughed once again.

Not that kind of bed Steve, I mean like bed bed...like the sexy kind ;)

Steve desperately tried to ignore the growing bulge in his jeans.

Romance is completely dead.

Tony pulled his shirt off desperately, wishing it was his lovers hands doing it and not his own.

Nah, this is pretty romantic babe. Don't you think? Long distance love or some shit like that?

Steve was half way through pulling his jeans off before the next reply came."It's not like Tony will know I'm doing this."

This is the farthest thing I could ever imagine from a romantic situation.

Tony rolled his eyes impatiently.

Well then it's a goddamn sexy situation now hurry up and stop being such a whiny virgin Steve!

To anybody but Steve the words might have appeared harsh, but he knew it was only desperation.

Are you desperate Tony?

That caused his stomach to flip, only heightening his arousal.

Steve don't play with me.

He had him where he wanted now.

Oh but you'd like me to, wouldn't you?

Tony gasped, slipping his hand into his boxers to relieve himself.

Of course I would, you know that.

Steve began palming himself, letting out a content sigh

You know what I'd really love to do with you? I'd love to slam you down on our bed and fuck you so hard into our mattress we'll go back to the 1940s

Tony….?

TONY DO YOU DELETE TEXTS?

TONY?

Tony frowned, glancing at his phone.

What do you mean?

Steve gaped at his phone.

Oh my god Tony I send the text to Fury….

And that is the story of how Tony Stark laughed so hard he lost his erection and Steve has a mortifying apology to make.