Disclaimer: All Rurouni Kenshin characters belong to Watsuki Nobuhiro, Jump Comics, and all concerned parties. No infringement intended! Please don't sue me, a poor person. This applies to all chapters of my fic. Any other characters created belong to me.

SPOILER WARNING! There are spoilers beyond episode 30 here. If you dare take the risk, be my guest! I am sorry in advance for any misunderstandings and all but I wanted this for the fic esp. the part with "guilt." I know he's over that but I wanted something like an alternative for the storyline. Don't we all? (You'll know what I mean in time...)

I want to thank Nicky-san for the time and support for this fic. This one's for you big sis!

First created on : June 13, 1999

Setting : near/after the Revenge Arc

REAL DREAMS
Chapter One

He heaved a long and lung-emptying sigh before he mournfully focused his big, lavander eyes at the glowing shape of the setting sun. 'The night's coming once again. The nightmares...' he paused and another fatigued sigh was heard. After another short pause, the clatter of utensils could be heard once more as the rurouni busied himself once more.

Meanwhile, at the peaceful dojo grounds, two figures could be seen practicing kendo. One was a young female wearing a simple gi and hakama while holding a bokken tightly in her right hand. She had a face as beautiful as a goddesses. Deep blue eyes that captured light stared intently at the figure before her, irritation and anger starting to show itself on her delicate features. The one before her was a young boy with spiky hair and dressed in a yellow gi and green hakama. Not quite a teen yet, he held a shinai and a mischievous grin was playing on his face. The object of his interest: Kaoru. "Hag! Hag! HAG!" he half yelled and each call gained intensity with every swing. 'Will it never end?!' Kaoru asked herself and simultaneously shook her head to keep her temper at bay for she could almost see her blood evaporate from her veins due to her growing irritation.

Finally, after a few more agonizing minutes, she let loose her anger and yelled, "Baka! Who are you calling, HAG, Yahiko-CHAN?!" and her body unconsciously moved to a fighting stance without her knowing it. "Who are you callin' a kid, BUSO?!" he said as he turned to look at Kaoru who had just launched herself from her fighting stance. His eyes bulged out... *Uh-oh.* And that started it. So much for peace...

"Hey, Jo-chan!" a tall man with spiky hair suddenly called out, ending the vigorous battle in the process.

"Oi, Sano! What are you doing here?" both fighters asked together. Surprised, the two looked at each other and abruptly faced opposite directions with a "hmmph!" to punctuate their query.

'Kids!' Sano muttered under his breath. Fortunately, he wasn't heard. He took a few steps forward and shook his head. "Ano. I just happened to be passing by and so I thought, 'Why not visit them since you're here anyways, Sano?' So, here I am!" and he mentally added, 'And to probably get a free meal while I'm at it.' He smiled expectantly. A pause. Then, he flicked a worried glance at his immediate surroundings before continuing in a quiet voice, "Say, I noticed Kenshin in the kitchen. What's up? Didn't even notice me entering the place and he looked kinda worried to me..." he trailed off as he noticed that Kaoru had turned quite pale and disturbed.

"...................."

"Hey, Jo-chan..."

"I know." she answered simply, solemnly, and quietly. Her face was downcast and it startled both men since it was an unexpected response. "I noticed about one or two weeks ago his strange behavior. I almost did not see because he hid it well."

"So why don't you ask him about it? Talk to him." Sano suggested.

"Oh! Believe me. I've tried but..." she trailed off at the sound of a window sliding open near the kitchen. Kenshin's head and upper body could be seen poking out as he looked for the group and when he did, he said, "Dinner's ready!!!" He then noticed Sano and stared at him with wide and unbelieving eyes. "Hey! When did you get here? Never mind. I'll go and set a place for you at the table first." With that, he disappeared and could be heard rummaging through the kitchen.

"Nice timing!" Sano whispered to them as he scratched his head. "As if he knew we were talking about him...Fine! Let's talk sometime else, ok? I'm starving!"

*****

Silent footsteps echoed through the hallway and stopped at its end. The slender figure that appeared then sat down against a post, propped a sword against one shoulder, and sighed deeply as he gazed out at the moon.

"Kenshin?" a worried voice asked from behind. His eyes widened not only because he did not sense the person come up behind him, but also because he noticed the sadness in the voice... and grimaced as the thought struck on why that feeling was there. *Kenshin no baka!* he screamed inwardly as well as mentally kicked himself for not seeing it sooner. Bracing himself in all aspects, he turned, faced that person, and plastered the well-practiced smile on his face while waiting for the inevitable. He knew it was useless but he had to at least try, right?

"Yes, Kaoru-dono?" he started, injecting as much innocence as he could gather when he saw the worry etched on her face.

"One...Onegai." she stuttered. "Don't pretend, Kenshin. I...I know that there's something wrong and that you're hiding it from me... from us all here. What is it? What's wrong?" she managed to add despite the tears that started to form in her eyes though she valiantly suppressed them.

'Blast it! She noticed.' he thought and mentally braced himself. "No...Nothing's wrong, Kaoru-dono." he said and smiled even sweeter to hide the inner turmoil. "Why would you think otherwise?"

"It's just that you've been acting so...strange lately." she added with a quavering voice. 'Especially when you're sleeping.' she added to herself and thought of all those whimpering and pained noises she heard him make while he slept. He spoke sometimes, usually uttering, 'Why?!', and that worried her. *'Why?' what?* Because of that, she usually stayed wide awake and concerned of his condition. She pushed those thoughts aside just in time as she felt another emotional wave overtake her. New tears sprung up and she fought for self-control. She exhaled and some of her discomfort disappeared with the released tension. "You've been sighing a lot and drifting off into who knows where...." She then trailed off as she noticed movements by the dojo walls...and saw telltale signs of human eavesdroppers. *Hunh?!* Abruptly, something clicked in her head. She turned slowly, grinned wickedly, and decided to test her theory even if she knew that the situation WAS serious; she just couldn't resist. Partially turning her body back to Kenshin, she said in a light voice, "Added to that, Kenshin, I don't know how you missed Sanosuke today. It's just not like you to miss that free-loading, good-for-nothing, noisy, and lazy rooster-head!"

"Hey!!! I HEARD THAT!!!" Sano screamed from the background as he peered around the corner. *Oops.* he thought belatedly as he saw the triumphant smile the little missy was throwing his way. *Why that sneaky.......!* he added to the hundreds of curses that went through his head. "Who're you callin' 'ROOSTER HEAD'?! That's such a brave statement from such a lousy, tomboyish cook...OUCH!" he managed to say before the last of his breath came out when Kaoru's bokken connected with his head. He reached up and rubbed his now sore head. He turned it slightly and glared uselessly at the laughing kid beside him and said, "Ok, ok, OK! We'll go and leave you two lovebirds alone!!!" He grabbed Yahiko and sprinted away before the damn bokken could connect with his poor head again. He noted with grim satisfaction the faint blush on the couple's cheeks.

Satisfied, Kaoru turned around and found out that Kenshin had stood up. He smiled and shook his head.

'This girl's amazing.' he thought. 'She could beat up Sano when nobody would even dare touch him...except me of course.' and smiled inwardly.

"I'll go to my room now if you don't mind, Kaoru-dono." he said and bowed slightly.

"Matte! I..." she muttered. She didn't want him off the hook yet. Who would? But she stopped nonetheless as he turned to face her. For a brief moment, she could have sworn that he looked torn between telling her and hiding it again. Then, suddenly, the look was gone.

"Not now, Kaoru-dono, not now. I'll tell you when I feel ready." he managed.

'This is it,' she thought defeated, 'he won't tell me. Ooooh! What's in him that I can't seem to disagree with? Fine. Let it be his way. There's nothing I can do to crack that shell of his.' Sadness crept into her being with those thoughts. "Pro...promise?" she stuttered.

"Hai. I promise." he said and smiled. "Oyasumi, Kaoru-dono." With that, he turned and headed straight for his sleeping quarters.

"Oyasumi, Kenshin..." was all Kaoru could whisper to his retreating back befor heading to her room as well, not knowing that grief would grab and play with her hear once more in a different way.

*****

It was late evening and silence reigned over the sleeping dojo. All was peaceful and all the living creatures lived in harmony. Nothing was out of place. But then again, maybe not.

Up on a section of the night sky, a luminous being with slight form could be seen watching another, apparently a companion, finish something upon the sleeping form of a certain redhead swordsman. Worry and slight panic could be seen being etched into her usually cold and stoic face as she stood helplessly up there. 'What if he doesn't survive this?' she kept asking herself. 'He's a good fighter but would it be enough?' And, she panicked even more. A few minutes later, she noticed that the other was approaching with a satisfied look so she had to force herself to calm down. 'There's no turning back now. He has to pass!' she now thought firmly.

"Will he be all right?" she asked in a surprisingly calm and clear voice that betrayed her true emotions at the present.

"Yes...and no. It would depend if he passes the final phase of the test given to him. You do know what would happen if he does pass, right?" she nods and he sighed exasperatedly. "Look, you and I want him to have a better life after all that he's been through. This is the only way He gave so we have to deal with it, ok? I'm also worried but we have to have trust in him and his family." He smiled again and handed sheets of paper over to her. "Here are your orders. Remember that they can help but not always. He needs to face and finish this test alone as much as possible, ok? Oh, and don't jump in too early if you know what I mean." she nods again and he continued talking. "Let some of the grief pass first before interfering." He turned and prepared to leave. "Good luck! Remember, don't get too involved...you or them alike. It may aggravate the situation." He then started to fade from view. "His guilt is the clue, Tomoe-chan..." and he disappeared completely from view as if he was never there, leaving a confused spirit behind.

End Chapter One.

Authors notes! :

Any comments? Suggestions? Sure, flames may also be accepted as long as they're reasonable. I'm sorry for having a serious fic for the start but I'll try! Really! Remember: Don't be shy! E-mail me!!!!!