TITLE: Jack's Cure For Boredom

AUTHOR: Vid Z.

CATEGORY: humor

DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc of the TV show Stargate: SG-1 are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this fic. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

SUMMARY: Even going to other planets becomes routine with time and Colonel Jack O'Neill is officially bored. What can he do to make off-world missions exciting again? How will his idea change the structure of the SGC and help save lives?

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Colonel Jack O'Neill, former Special Ops officer, current CO of SG-1 and the 2IC of the SGC of the USAF of the US was bored. Bored, bored, bored.

The novely of being able to go to another planet had faded long ago. How can it still be exciting and new if you go to another planet at least twice a week?

It had all become a routine and a boring routine at that. Either it was going to a planet to watch Carter and Daniel do their geek stuff or go to a planet to get shot at.

Pretty damn boring, if you asked him.

There is a point where even getting shot at loses that feeling of novely and excitement. Well, after about 25 or 30 years, but still...

He needed something to liven up his job, make it exciting again, interesting and jolly.

And, as the saying goes, idle minds are dangerous minds.

"I still have friends with the Combat Controllers and they must have some of those things still laying around. I'll just give them a call..." he thought and his lips widened in a smirk.

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ONE WEEK LATER

SGC

EMBARKATION ROOM

"SG-1, you have a go, Godspeed!" was heard over the tannoy and the team moved forward.

Jack, being the last one, was about to step through when he was stopped by Walter's call. "Colonel, sir, your package has just arrived."

Jack stopped and went back down the ramp, an evil, mischevious glint in his eyes.

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1 MINUTE LATER

P5R-443

"Where is he, Daniel?" asked Sam, looking at her watch.

"Don't know, Sam." Daniel shrugged. "I'd imagine he was momentarily halted because of something. I'm sure he'll be with us soon."

Just then their radios crackled. "SG-1, this is Hammond. Are you reading me? Over."

"This is SG-1, sir, we're reading you loud and clear. Over."

"SG-1, you are to return to base, I repeat, RTB. Colonel O'Neill will take over the recon by himself. Over."

Sam looked at Daniel, even more puzzled, but nonetheless replied. "Understood, sir, we're coming back. Over."

"Acknowledged, SG-1. Standby for Colonel O'Neill and stand clear of the 'Gate. Once he's through, return home. Over and out."

The radio clicked out and Daniel and Sam looked at each other in puzzlement over the development, while Teal'c raised his eyebrow. Nontheless, they cleared the 'Gate.

With such a sudden appearance that the two scientists actually jumped from fright Jack came flying through the 'Gate, enthusiastically screaming "YEEEEEEEHHAAAWWW!", and, due to the fantastic acceleration properties and the ramp, flew for another 20 meters before landing in the dirt.

Then he turned to his team-mates and pulled up the goggles. "Hi, guys! Have fun. I know I will." With that he snapped the goggles back into place, opened the throttle full bore and pulled a wheelie (riding with the front wheel in the air) as rocks and torn dirt showered behind him, some small pieces even hitting his teammates.

The team was still standing in shock 2 minutes later before they finally recovered.

"Was that..." Sam started, stunned and pointed the way Jack had gone.

"You mean Jack on a dirtbike?" stuttered Daniel in shock, then nodded erratically. "Yeah, I think that's what I saw."

"It was indeed O'Neill mounted on a two-wheel land vehicle powered by an internal combustion engine." intoned Teal'c.

The other two looked at him and then started to the DHD. "Let's get back home, I'm sure we'll get some answers there." decided Sam as she started pressing the buttons.

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MEANWHILE ON THE SAME PLANET, 5 MILES AWAY

Jack was loving it, the wind in his... erm... his helmet, the wild bucking of the matt black painted motorcycle under his ass, the roar of an engine further down and the endless rush of adrenalin that comes with handling such a machine in the environment it'd been created for.

In just a few minutes he'd covered more ground than an SG team on foot would've in 3 hours of walking, especially since it was a rough terrain, and thanks to the modified exhaust and improved muffler he wasn't even alerting everyone within 2 miles radius, as it is normal with this type of bikes.

Dirtbikes - a layman term, their real designation being "hard enduro" or cross motorcycles, depending on if they can be registered for road use (enduros yes, cross bikes no), that are used by Special Forces are chosen for this purpose because they are highly durable, reliable, maneuverable and especially light and provide excellent mobility, especially off-road mobility. They are usually of displacement from 300 to 400 cc, but mostly 350cc, anything more is too heavy. The enduros and cross bikes of smaller-than-600cc-class sound amazingly similar to circular saws and spec ops units have to add more efficient mufflers to achieve the needed stealthier capabilities.

Otherwise they could just as well publicly announce their arrival.

But Jack wasn't thinking about that. He was enjoying his time on a motorcycle, his own spending just too much time in the garage because of lack of time. Once again being assured of the usefulness of a motorcycle in the field he began making plans.

"When I get back I have to talk to George about forming a couple of motorcycle-mounted recon units, 2 men per patrol, and start training them. Preferrably men with already-existing experience with off-road bikes, since riding an off-road bike is so different from riding a road bike, much less driving a car. And we have to get a couple of ATV's as well and bring in some PJ's (Pararescue - AF Spec Ops unit specialized in rescue operations, all qualified as paramedics) and set up a unit for CSAR (Combat Search And Rescue), SAR (Search and Rescue), extraction and medical treatment of injured personnel,... and put them on the Quads. How many times have we needed a quick extraction force who would've been able to offer medical assistance as well. I do this patrol and then George and I have a lot of planning to do."

Satisfied with this he opened the throttle further, anxious to get back home and start making some changes.

THE END

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