Hello all! Welcome to my story, To Heal a Heart! I hope you enjoy it, it's my first foray into Criminal Minds fanfiction! It is slightly AU, mostly in the sense that Emily is still here, because I love her and was so sad when she left!

I own nothing related to Criminal Minds.

Whoever said time heals all wounds was an idiot.

At least that was the conclusion Spencer Reid had come to. He'd had time, over a whole year of it, and what did he have to show for it? A still raw, still bleeding, raggedly torn heart. A lingering urge to fill his veins with the sweet numbing release of Dilaudid. A pathologic fear of slipping in to sleep, for when he slept he was haunted by her shimmering ghost. Yeah, time had really healed him.

His team would tell him he simply needed more time. Easy for them to say, they were socially appropriate, normal human beings. They had lives, loved ones, people who needed them to pull up their socks and get on with their lives. Who did he have? Sure, the team, but they could function fine without him. His mother? She was a schizophrenic, for pete's sake. Even if he believed more time would heal him, what was the point? There was no one for him to pull himself together for. He might as well stay a broken man forever.

"Hey, pretty boy, wake up over there!" the teasing voice of Derek Morgan interrupted Spencer's inner musings. "You might actually start to fall behind on your paperwork."

Spencer grimaced at him, picking up the manila file he was supposed to be cataloguing. No one on the team knew about how shattered his heart still was. Sure, they knew he was still sad, but he did a damn good job at hiding his real emotions. Working with top notch profilers made it very difficult, but he didn't want his team to worry. They had spent enough of their lives worrying over him.

"Reid has never fallen behind before," Emily raised a perfectly manicured eyebrow at Morgan. "It's clinically impossible for him to."

"Never say never, Prentiss," Morgan grinned, his eyes slipping back to his own folder. "Even a genius can mess up."

Yeah, by falling in love with a girl with a crazy stalker, Spencer thought bitterly as Morgan and Emily continue to bicker genially. He threw the folder back on the desk, his thoughts again turning to Maeve and his inner anguish. If only they had figured everything out sooner. If only he'd had the smarts to stay away from her. If only, if only, if only.

His head was starting to hurt from all the turmoil in his brain. He needed coffee.

Leaving Emily and Morgan still arguing (seriously, did they every stop?), Spencer made his way across the bullpen to the coffee machine. He got it all set up to brew a fresh batch, then leaned back against the counter and closed his eyes. He could still picture exactly how she looked on that last fateful day, face tear streaked but still utterly beautiful. Those big green eyes filled with love, love for him…

"Um, excuse me?"

Spencer jumped, his eyes snapping open at the sound of the soft voice coming from somewhere around his left elbow. He jerked around clumsily, his eyes coming to settle on the source of the voice.

For the second time in his life, his brain actually sputtered.

She had to be in her early twenties, the skin on her face fresh and smooth. Long brown hair was twisted off to the side, a few stray tendrils escaping to frame her round face. Big blue (holy shit, so blue!) eyes were looking up at him, full pink lips were pulled in a slightly lopsided smile. His eyes darted down, taking in a short but nicely curved body covered in a demure flowered sundress.

"I'm sorry if I scared you," the girl continued to smile, "but I'm looking for Aaron Hotchner's office, and to be honest, you look like the least intimidating person here, so I decided to ask you."

Spencer blinked rapidly, his brain slowly regaining its focus. "Uh, H-hotch's office?" he managed to stutter out.

"Yes," the girl cocked her head at him, "You, uh, do know who I'm talking about, don't you?"

"Yes, of course I do," Spencer's brain had finally caught up with him. "Its that big one up there on the left," he raised his arm to point out.

"Oh awesome!" another crooked smile flashed brilliantly at him. "Thank you so much, er," she leaned forward, obviously trying to read his ID badge hanging off the pocket of his navy cardigan. Spencer was suddenly overwhelmed with the spicy smell of cinnamon and something slightly more sugary. "Spencer," she leaned back, taking her scent with her. "Thanks Spencer."

And without waiting for a reply, she walked past him and swept up the stairs towards Hotch's office.

Spencer watched her go, blinking confusedly. What on earth had just happened?

"Who was that, Reid?" Morgan suddenly appeared beside him, his eyes also trained on the girl currently being ushered into Hotch's office. "She is damn fine!"

"She just walked up to me and asked where Hotch's office was," Spencer replied stupidly.

"Oooh, maybe Hotch has a new girlfriend!" Morgan offered, turning to Spencer with a grin. "She's gotta be about half his age, what a dog!"

"Hotch is with Beth," Spencer replied, frowning. "I doubt that she is any sort of romantic interest for him."

"Well then, whoever she is, she's one good looking girl," Morgan shrugged, starting to head back towards his desk. "I saw you pretty boy, your eyes nearly jumped out of your sockets when you saw her. About time too, man. It's been over a year, you can look at other girls, you know."

Spencer's heart gave a painful squeeze, and he suddenly felt sick to his stomach. Truth be told, he had thought the girl was pretty. More than pretty. And that both scared and repulsed him at the same time. How dare he think of other girls, when Maeve was lying cold in the ground? His heart would forever belong to her, she was the only girl he should be thinking was pretty. She was the only girl he could ever love. He was just reacting physiologically, that's all.

And with that, Spencer slipped back into his sorrowful thoughts.

Reviews are appreciated! Let me know how I'm doing!