"So, what are you looking for in a marriage, if you don't mind me asking?"
She hesitated, her cup inches from her lips as she glanced across the table. "Looking for?"
"Yeah. What do you want out of this?"
"Well, what do you want?" She replied, a delaying tactic she knew hadn't worked from the smile she saw pulling at the corner of his mouth.
"Ah, no. I asked you first."
Marriage. What was she looking for? What did she want? If she was being honest…
The man sitting across from her was watching with what appeared to be genuine curiosity rather than fishing for a certain response; maybe she could tell him.
"Can I be honest with you?"
"I would definitely prefer it if you were."
"I don't."
His brow furrowed. "You… don't?"
"Want marriage. At all. At least, not like this."
"Then why are you here?"
"Because I don't think the marriage I want is possible for me. Not in this lifetime, anyway. And not marrying is impossible for an Akiyama. My mother would kill me if I didn't so here I am. Looking for a long-term friend, I guess." She took a sip of her green tea as she sat back in her seat, sure that her mother was going to kill her anyway for saying all of that. Another failed meeting. Another name to cross off the list; a list that was shrinking faster than her mother could add names.
"So… you're not after love?"
"'Fraid not. Sorry."
"No, no. That's… That's perfect."


Erin was sitting out in the garden when her mother found her. It had been quite the shock when the family had been in touch to let them know how happy they were that their son had finally found the perfect match in Erin.
"I'm sorry. A perfect match? Erin?"
"Yes. Shusei says the two of them got on so very well. The meeting went perfectly."
Chouko Akiyama had hardly dared to believe what she was hearing and she wouldn't allow herself to feel excited until she'd heard it from her daughter's mouth. It had been a trying few months getting Erin to even attend these meetings in the first place, her ideas on marriage being what they were and how exhausting it was for her to introduce herself to so many new people. She knew it was taking a toll, on her mental state as well as her heart, and Chouko couldn't pretend to be ignorant of the pain her daughter was in. But if what she'd heard was true then maybe this was a step in the right direction. Maybe there was hope for her daughter yet.
"Erin, darling. How did the meeting go?" She approached her daughter with what she hoped was a neutral expression on her face, sitting herself on the edge of Erin's seat. Erin popped her book down on her lap and just raised an eyebrow. She knew that her mother would have heard by now but she couldn't blame her for being a little cautious; she hadn't really been the bringer of good news lately.
"It went… good."

It went good! Chouko was ecstatic. Her daughter, her Erin, was getting married. She'd finally found someone she was willing to marry. Someone that wasn't… Well, someone that wasn't him. Now it was up to her to make the arrangements with the family and hopefully things would move along quickly and without incident. If only her husband was around to see this; he would have been so proud of his little girl for choosing. Erin may have other ideas, but Chouko would never have forced her to get married to someone she didn't want. Agreeing to the meetings had been enough. Seeing her take an active step towards filling the hole in her heart was enough. For Chouko. For her husband. Her son, too. No doubt Erin would have wanted her brother with her while all this was happening, supporting her through every step. But then again, if Daiki had been alive then Erin, being the youngest, wouldn't have been asked to do any of this. She'd have been left to her own devices and would have continued pining for that Captain of hers. Chouko missed her husband and son but Erin needed this. This was her chance.
"Now, where has that child got to?"


At the Sixth Division barracks Captain Byakuya Kuchiki was returning to his office when a presence inside the room made him pause at the door. He knew who it was immediately and, though it had been a while since he'd last seen her, he heaved an exasperated sigh before entering the room.
"You know you can't keep coming here every time you want to hide from your mother, Erin."
The white-haired Shinigami looked up from where she was sitting, her brown eyes finding his. She smiled at him as she put aside the book she had been reading to give all of her attention.
"Ah Byaki, you always know how to make a girl feel welcome."
He cringed inside at the sound of his childhood nickname; a name he had always hated. He had often protested her use of it but had quickly learned that the more he protested the more she used it.
"If you made an appointment or waited outside like everybody else then perhaps, I would be more inclined to give you a polite welcome."
He took his place behind his desk and he could feel her eyes watching him as he went about his work, waiting for what he knew was sure to come. It was always the same. He wouldn't see her for days and then she'd show up out of the blue asking the same mundane questions about work, Rukia, meeting up more often.
"So, how's work been? Renji not causing too much trouble?"
Byakuya felt the corner of his mouth twitch. Predictable. "Work has been fine and I wouldn't worry about my Lieutenant. I'm sure I have a much easier time with Renji than Captain Sui-Feng does with you."
"Ouch. I think that was uncalled for. Besides, I'm just a lowly 9th seat. She doesn't need me. I just need to put in an appearance every once in a while." She said this as if Captain Sui-Feng didn't mind her ditching work, but that was Erin. She never pushed herself to do more than the bare minimum needed to get by. Her lack of ambition was one of the many things that had always irritated Byakuya, especially since he knew that she had the potential to do so much more. He'd told her as much but it had always gone in one ear and straight out the other. She just wasn't interested.
"How's little Rukia, anyway? I hope the human world's treating her well."
And now she was changing the subject and he held back a smile. She never changed.
"Captain Ukitake would probably know more about that than I."
At this she rolled her eyes. "But you're her brother. You've got to be keeping tabs on her."
"I assumed you would also be keeping tabs considering how well the two of you get along."
"Also? So, you have been keeping an eye out. I knew you couldn't be that heartless."
He didn't acknowledge that with a response. She was smiling but she didn't say another word on the subject, choosing to pick her book back up and continue her reading letting the room fall into silence.

"Hey, Byakuya."
He looked up from his paperwork, the serious tone of Erin's voice catching his full attention. Erin was very rarely serious and when she was it wasn't anything good. She was staring at her book, her expression just a bit too causal to be natural. Something was wrong. Was it her mother? No. If that was the case, she would have told him at the beginning. The only thing going on in her life that he knew of was her meetings. Was it about that?
"Is something the matter, Erin?"
She was still avoiding his eyes, her gaze focused on the page in front of her but she wasn't reading it.
"Erin?"

She just had to say it. She just had to say it and tell him straight but she was struggling with the words in her mouth. She'd come here because she'd wanted to be the one to tell him. Even though he'd never admit it, she knew that Byakuya would be upset if he found out from someone else. They'd been friends for so long it was down to her to give him the news but now that she was here, she wasn't sure she could do it. How would he react? Was it wrong for her to hope, even just a little? Or would she just be disappointed again? The only way to know would be to tell him. She just had to say it.
"I'm getting married."
The silence that followed was torture as she waited for him to say something. Anything.
Please, Byakuya.
The longer the silence stretched the more hope filled her heart, ridiculous fantasies filling her head. Perhaps this had been the wake-up call he needed and now that she was getting married, he'd realised that he loved her. That he'd always loved her and it would be a mistake to let her go. Perhaps-
"Congratulations."
One word from him silenced those thoughts and she looked up to see him smiling at her, as much as Byakuya could smile these days, anyway.
"Thanks," she replied, swallowing the lump in her throat. She smiled back, blinking away the tears as she tried to ignore the crushing pain in her chest.
"I'm sure your mother's pleased.
"Over the moon." She forced a laugh. This was hurting more than she'd thought. She needed leave. "Speaking of, I should probably head back. Catch up soon, yeah?"

Once she was back home and safe alone in her room, Erin felt the first tear slip down her face. It was over. Whatever this was that she'd had with Byakuya, this twisted friendship, was finally over. The relief she felt was overwhelming but as she curled up on her bed, the tears falling hard and fast, she wondered if it would ever hurt any less knowing that he would never love her.