AN: This is my first fanfic so review after you have read please. Something I can improve is always useful

I don't own any of these characters and have nothing to do with the making of Holby City (If I did, Janny would never split!)

"For once in your life be honest with me; what do you want this to say?"

Jonny was stood opposite Jac is the ladies bathroom on Darwin ward. He held the pregnancy test Jac had just done in both his hands, so neither of them could see the result. Jac was unsure, however, whether the result would have shown up yet as she wasn't sure how long they had been waiting. It had felt like forever, but she was sure it hadn't been that long, only anticipation making it seem longer.

And know, how was she supposed to answer that. Of course she wanted it to tell them she was still pregnant, that the small seed growing inside was still in fact, very much there not lost like she had originally thought. She had wanted this child, and when they heart wrenching realisation the she might not every be able to have a child was taking away from her through a diagnosis, she was hoping was still wrong, had come about, she was even more certain that she wouldn't give up a chance if she did ever get pregnant. But however, the universe doesn't revolve around Jac and her thoughts and hopes, so she had, after miraculously become pregnant in the worst possible way, pity sex, with nurse DNA, thought she lost the child starting to grow inside her womb. She had brushed all her feelings for this under the carpet, not wanting to show through her exterior her emotions and went about the day as normal, but maybe, she thought to herself, it wouldn't be so bad to have the test read positive and have a baby. It would be something to prove for her life, as apart from her job, she had nothing. So yes, she did in fact want to test to reveal the, normally good answer to this question, and tell her she was still pregnant.

However, as she thought about it more and more, about being a mother, about having to love someone, about having to show motherly instincts to everyone who thought she was just an ice queen, the idea of becoming a mother scared her and she began to doubt herself ever more. Sacha had told her, previously this day, that she had it, whatever it was, and that she would make a good mother, but what if he was wrong, what if he didn't know her as well he as he thought he did. Maybe he was wrong; maybe she wouldn't be able to do this. It had been proved that she couldn't love someone without hurting them after and that she was unlovable, and she really didn't want her child to go through the same thing she had been through. To have a mother who didn't love you really was one of the truly worst things imaginable in Jacs life. Lovers came and went; you had more than one chance at finding your soul mate. But you didn't get to choose your mothers, and you only have one, so maybe she would be putting a curse on this child if she allowed herself to be a mother to it. And what about everyone else. It was important to Jac what everyone else thought about her, and if they began to laugh and joke about small things that matter to her, she could change in an instance. Maybe everyone would laugh and joke about this, something serious which was hard for her to believe was happening. Maybe they would feel sorry for the child she was bearing as they would have to grow up with the mother in the form of Jac Naylor. But no-one else knew about what she went through as a child, and she couldn't let that sort of thing happen to her own child. She knew what it felt like to be abandoned and she knew how much it affected you in further life as an adult. So maybe she could prove them wrong.

"I don't know," she answered him truthfully, which gained a bemused look from Jonny.

"How can you not know something like that? It's a simple enough question. Do you want to have a baby to look after soon, or not?" He asked her again, as if a second time would make things easier for her to understand.

"I don't know," she told him again, as she felt her eyes mist over with the unwelcoming normality that resulted in her locking herself in her office.

Jonny frowned. He looked at Jac with a puzzled expression. As if everything wasn't complicated enough, Jac now decided this as an appropriate time to start with emotions and water works.

"What's up? You're going to have to let me in one day Jac, might as well be know."

She looked down at her shoes momentarily, silently wishing for the tears to magical disappear from her eyes and instead be replaced by a look of ice, something which normally meant she didn't engage with questions. She looked back up, hoping he wasn't still looking at her, which of course he was. She did decide however, that she would ignore this question and ask one of her own. It didn't feel like the right time to start opening up to him, even if he did really care about her.

"What does it say then? She indicated to the test with a nod of her head. It was defiantly past the 3 minuets that the packet said to wait for

Jonny looked down and stared at the test for several moments, as if trying to decipher a code someone had sent him, which caused Jac to get even more impatient. Not only had she wasted three minutes waiting for the result to show, she know had to wait for Jonny to read it, causing her even more time away from the ward she was supposed to be running outside of these four walls. Jonny looked back up, a gleam in his eye.

"You're going to be a mum," he told her happily. He was still unsure of where he stood in all this mess, and didn't want to ruin this moment for Jac by bringing himself into this yet so didn't comment on he would also be a father.

Jac stood shocked, clearly unsure about how to react. She took the test and looked for herself, wondering if he was just playing a cruel joke to get her back for all the things he had done to her. But sure enough, there it was. Two lines indicating that the small seed was still inside her womb, implanted safely into the walls of her womb. She smiled, a genuine smile that spread across her face.

"And you're going to be a dad," she told him. She sounded sure that this was what she wanted, but Jonny still questioned her

"You're sure"

"Yeah." She had never been so sure about something in her whole life and this was what she wanted. All the emotions she had been keeping locked up since her and Jonny had spilt again found a way out and soon tears were rolling down her cheeks quicker than she could wipe them away.

Jonny pulled her into a hug and they were both over taken with happiness and emotion that they were soon both a mess. "I love you Jac," Jonny said with a meaningful voice.

Jac believed him, and replied with just as much meaningfulness as Jonny. "I love you too." She meant it and he knew it.

This was going to work and not just for the babies sake.

Thank-you for reading everyone!

I can carry it on if people want me to, but I think it's better as just a one-shot.

Please write a review so I know how to improve xx