Friendtervention

Disclaimer: I don't own TVD rights.


A/N: I decided I wanted to start posting some of my drabbles/one-shots from tumblr on here to a broader audience. This particular "drabble" was the very first one I've ever written as a request for missspecter. Enjoy this silly little piece!


When Caroline got the call from a distressed Stefan, begging to crash for the night so he wouldn't have to spend another moment in his house listening to the overly flirty banter of his brother and his former flame, she could't really say she was surprised. From what he'd told her, it was understandable that over the weeks it just became unbearable. At first Damon and Elena were reserved, walking around him on eggshells praying that he wouldn't crack. But once they stopped caring, once he had to face walking into the room and seeing them, limbs intertwined in embrace before the fire or hearing furniture in Damon's room going flying against the walls, it became more and more necessary to find distractions - away from the boarding house. So after three long weeks of monitoring blood bag intake and fighting off the urges to kill any human in sight, it was finally time for a "friendtervention". And Caroline was the expert at those.

In the late evening, four short, wistful knocks sounded the Forbes residence. Caroline pulled open the door, greeting her former vampire mentor with a heartwarming smile. She ushered Stefan in and led him to the living room where he slumped into the floral cushions of her couch. She joined him across the way in an armchair, trying to appear as supportive as she possibly could.

"Can I get you anything?"

He laughed but it was humorless. "I don't think there's any substitute for wanting to rip into someone's artery."

She folded her arms, frowning. "There will be none of that. Sober sponsor, remember?"

"Yeah," he grinned, rubbing the back of his neck. "It's getting harder."

"Oh, come on," her hands flopped to her knees in distress. "You can't break now. After everything we've gone through? You're stronger than that, Stefan."

"You don't understand, Caroline. I can't just turn it off."

"Isn't that what Klaus already compelled you to do?"

He shook his head. "It's different this time."

Another knock at the door disturbed them. Sighing, Caroline rose to answer it. When she returned, a certain dirty blonde hybrid was in tow.

"If you call him, he will come," she gestured back to Klaus with a sardonic expression.

"I'd choose your words a little more carefully, love," Klaus smirked, teasingly.

Caroline shot him a snooty look but it only made him smile wider. Stefan peered up at his so-called friend, a tired expression on his face.

"What do you want, Klaus?"

"The town is a buzz with the news."

Caroline peered, skeptically. "What news?"

"Stefan has moved on to green pastures. My mate was shacking up with my lady in waiting," he smiled wittily, joining Stefan on the couch. "Can't expect me not to be at least a bit suspicious."

Caroline raised a firm, objecting finger. "One date does not constitute any such label."

Klaus leaned toward Stefan with a smug grin. "She's in denial."

She rolled her eyes. "And you're delusional."

"Caroline and I are just friends, Klaus," Stefan assured him. "She's just helping me."

Klaus tilted his head, raising his eyebrows smugly. "Be that as it may, I feel better being able to confirm it myself."

Caroline just shook her head, scoffing. Klaus directed his attention to the spread on the coffee table before them. There were two clear glass bottles of golden liquid, a stack of DVDs and bags of Lays and Oreos.

"So I see we've the proper layout. Alcohol. Junk food. Romantic comedies."

"This is not a slumber party for you, Klaus," Caroline argued.

"No doubt." He picked up a DVD. "The Notebook is not exactly to my taste."

Caroline snatched it from him, defensively. "It's to help instill the idea that epic love conquers all. When Ally's parents disapproved of Noah and made her move away, he didn't give up. When Ally was engaged to another man, he still didn't give up. And even when Ally got dementia in her old age, Noah never gave up on her. You know why? Because they were soul mates." She glanced at Stefan. "Just like you and Elena, which means you shouldn't give up on her."

Klaus leaned forward, clasping his hands together. "That's charming, love, but it's only a movie."

"It was based on a true story," she insisted.

"I think what Stefan really needs is a nice, leggy brunette, that's not on vervain, who I know happens to frequent the Mystic Grill this time of night."

"No. That is exactly what we're trying to avoid. If he goes all Rippery again, Elena will never forgive him. And he will never forgive himself!"

"Oh, I don't know about that, love. I think he tends to enjoy letting loose every once in a while, right Stefan?" Klaus grinned at him, a darkness filling his eyes.

Stefan sighed, unimpressed. "What I really need is for you two to stop arguing over me like an old married couple."

"I resent that," Caroline scowled.

"Look. Right now, what I need is a distraction." He sank back against the couch, rubbing his temples. "Or a crazy amount of alcohol to forget the fact that you two are…" He flailed his hand in front of him. "Whatever you are."

Caroline pouted, looking away from both of them, refusing to acknowledge that Klaus was anything other than annoying. Klaus, in the mean time, grabbed one of the bottles of whiskey and opened it with a loud snap that caught the other vampires' attention. He held the bottle up with a grin.

"Well then. Let's get cracking, shall we?"


An hour and one and a half bottles later...

"No way!" Caroline was giggling. "I am not doing that."

"Come on," Stefan pleaded. "I'm broken and hurting inside. Do it for me." He widened his eyes, forcing his lower lip to protrude. "Make me smile again, Caroline."

"That's not fair," she laughed, aiming her finger at him but swaying too much for it to stay balanced. "Using your pain to guilt trip me is against the rules."

"No it isn't," Klaus begged to differ. "Besides, I make the rules to this game. You either do the dare or face the consequences which would be taking two more shots."

"You're just trying to get me drunk. Don't think I can't see right through you."

"It's a simple task, love," he reasoned.

Caroline shook her head. "She would never believe me."

"Doesn't matter," Stefan grinned. "All you have to do is say it."

"And what if she comes here and tries to kill me? She hates me!" she sneered at Klaus.

"Not as much as she hates Elena," Stefan muttered, wincing as he took another shot.

"I won't let her," Klaus assured her. "Besides, she's not invited in."

Caroline chewed over the idea, eyeing them both carefully. "And if I do it, I get to dare you next, right?" she flashed a challenging smile at Klaus.

He met her gaze with intrigue. "If you succeed, yes."

She sat up, slapping her palms into the arms of the chair. "Fine. Somebody give me a phone."

"Has to be your phone," Stefan pointed out. "She can't know we're here or she'll figure out it's a joke."

Groaning, Caroline took out her phone, copying the number from Klaus' cell as he held it out for her to read. She pressed her lips together in a tight smile, shaking her head all the while. Her heart jumped when the ringing stopped and a conceited voice answered.

"Um...hi, Rebekah," she started, her voice small and nervous. She glared at the pair across from her smirking. "It's Caroline. Caroline Fo – " Her eyes slowly shut. "Vampire Barbie. Right..." She hesitated a moment, glancing at Stefan and Klaus but was faced with two sets of eyebrows waggling with urgency. She forced her eyes shut and gritted her teeth. "I just...wanted to call you to tell you...This, might actually come as a surprise, but um..." She shrugged, her free arm flopping to her side. "I'm in love with you. Totally head over heels, can't live without you, in love. So you can stop looking for Mr. Right because I'm right - " She paused and her eyebrows furrowed. "Hello? Rebekah?" She pulled the phone off of her ear to see the call had ended. Caroline nodded, sarcastically at the two. "She hung up on me. Are you happy now?"

Both Klaus and Stefan burst out in hysterical laughter.

"Just so you know, I hate you both!" Caroline grumbled, but found herself quickly joining their laughter.

"It was worth it."

"She's going to hate me even more."

"Don't worry about anything. Let me handle Rebekah," Klaus beamed, starting to get up.

"Oh no you don't," her voice stopped him. "It's my turn now. And I have a great dare for you."

Klaus eased himself back in his seat, smiling amusedly. "By all means."

Caroline sat forward in her chair, repressing her grin. "I dare you to kiss Stefan."

Stefan let out a short, nervous laugh. His eyebrows knit. "...What?"

"That's a bit extreme, love," Klaus protested.

"A dare's a dare," she batted her eyelashes, teasingly. "Unless you want to face the consequences. And my consequences are much worse than alcohol poisoning."

He pursed his lips in a daring smile. "I doubt there's anything you could come up with that I haven't yet endured."

"Try me," she challenged.

Klaus licked his lips, his confidence faltering in the slightest. He flicked his eyes to Stefan's cautious ones.

"Don't look at me," Stefan raised his hands defenselessly. "This is your dare."

"You're a bit involved, mate," Klaus sneered, no longer amused. "Though I'm pretty sure neither of us want to take part in this particular dare."

"Ah, don't kid yourself, Klaus. It's not like I haven't known for a while," Stefan began to tease. "All those long stares? And finding any reason to touch me?"

Caroline nearly choked on the sip of Bourbon she'd taken. Stefan flashed her a laughing grin. Klaus was having none of it.

"Well I'm glad the two of you are finding this amusing." He straightened his shoulders, regaining his composure. "You want us to bring your homoerotic fantasies alive, love? Fine."

Stefan raised his head. "Wait, what?"

"You heard the dare, mate," Klaus said, shifting closer to Stefan.

"Whoa, whoa, hold on," Stefan pushed him back. "Are you serious?"

"As a stake to the heart."

Stefan swallowed, hard. ""Okay, how did I get roped into doing this? This was supposed to be his dare. Caroline, come on..."

She shrugged, smiling. "Sorry, Stefan."

"It's just one kiss," Klaus reassured him. "We'll obliterate ourselves with whiskey shortly after."

Frozen in terror, Stefan sat there watching Klaus slowly coming toward him. Caroline had pulled her knees to her chest, unable to repress her giggles. Just as their mouths were about to touch, she broke.

"Stop!" she cried out in laughter. "Stop, stop, stop!"

Stefan and Klaus looked up at her, bewildered. Caroline was doubled over in laughter, the alcohol clearly shining in her baby blues.

"Oh my god. I can't believe you were actually going to do it!"

Klaus stared, aghast. "You dared me to."

"I know," she was still breathless from laughing. "I know. I thought you would take the consequences, but you actually were going to kiss Stefan! I am never letting you live that down."

Annoyed, the hybrid shifted back from his once friend and put himself as far away from him on the couch as he could. Stefan poured himself another shot, downing it at once.

"This was not what I had in mind as a distraction..."