Chapter One

Kelly Severide thought the hardest thing he'd ever have to do was bury his best friend.

Her body was in a casket. A casket. It just didn't seem real. He kept waiting for her to move. For her to start laughing and tell everyone it was just a joke. All he wanted was one more conversation. One more hug. He wanted to tell her he loved her.

His mind kept going back to that terrible day. He remembered the terrible fight that they had gotten into about Devon. It was so stupid. He wished he could take it all back. Their last day together should have been happy.

He remembered how he stopped breathing when he saw her lifeless body. Why couldn't he save her? Why wouldn't she start breathing again? He remembered screaming for her. He remembered Casey ripping Shay out of his arms and knowing that she was gone. Her life was over, and a part of him was gone forever.

She was pronounced dead as soon as they arrived at the hospital. His legs collapsed, and he felt two sets of arms grab him. Capp and Hermann supported him and helped into a hospital chair.

"No! Shay! No!" He cried. The one person he needed more than anything was gone. Dead, Shay was dead.

"I'm going to be sick." He said, running to the trash can. After finishing, he kneeled on the ground and put his head into his hands, tears pouring down his face.

"Kelly," he heard Casey say as he placed a hand on his shoulder. "Let me take you home."

He looked up. Sometime during his meltdown, Antonio had shown up. He was currently holding a sobbing and convulsing Dawson in his arms. This had allowed Casey to try to help his friend in the worst moment of his life.

Kelly shook his head. "No. I want to see her!"

"Kelly, I don't think-"

"I don't care! I want to see her!"

He remembered grabbing her hand and giving it a kiss. "Shay, why did it have to be you! Why? I don't know how I'm supposed to do this without you."

He sat by Shay's body for a few more minutes before Casey made him leave. He said Antonio had taken Dawson to his place so Severide was coming home with Casey.

Before he left, he rubbed his thumb down her face. He leaned down and gave her a kiss. "I love you, Shay."

He returned to present day and looked around. Everyone had someone. Everyone but him. His person was gone.

Before they closed the casket, Severide grabbed her hand one last time. He leaned down and kissed her just like he did that day at the hospital. Tears poured down his face knowing that this was the last time he would ever see his best friend.

"You were the best friend I could ever have. I love you so much, Leslie Shay, and I will never forget you."

After the funeral and burial were over, Chief Boden pulled him aside.

"Leslie Shay was one of the kindest, loving people I ever met. I know that she loved you very much."

He nodded. "I loved her more than anyone."

"Kelly, if you need anything, let me know. I mean it, anytime, any day. My door is always open."

"Thanks, Chief."

He had to get out of here. He ran to his car, but was stopped by Casey before he could get in.

"We're going to Molly's to celebrate Shay. Do you want a ride?"

"No. Casey, I can't. I can't stay here. I need to leave."

"Where are you going?"

"Anywhere but here."

He put his key in the ignition and drove away. He didn't know where he was going or how long he would be there, but he knew his life would never be the same.

Kelly Severide thought the hardest thing he would ever have to do was bury his best friend. He was wrong. The hardest part was just beginning. He was going to have to live his life without Leslie Shay.

Hey everyone! I am completely devastated by Shay's death. This story will be a few chapters about how members of 51, especially Severide, mourn and start to build a life without Shay.