Note: PLEASE REVIEW...I'll love you forever and ever and ever if you do...I might even give you a little treat…something of the continuation of this story nature, or maybe I won't…it's all up to you, reader. To review or not to review? That is the question…the answer to which I pray is, "YES I'LL LEAVE A LONG A BOISTROUS REVIEW THAT AVERS NOTHING BUT PRAISE AND HAPPY THOUGHTS"…and while I apologize for the outburst, I do not promise it won't happen again for I am not a liar…I will lead you on under false pretenses. The offer listed earlier though still stands. If you are able to successfully…persuade…me, I may be inclined to turn our little oneshot into a full blown story. Think about it…
I do not own ANY of the characters in this story…*sobs*…OH, PITY MY POOR BROKEN HEART, AGONIZED BY THE FACT THAT I AM UNABLE TO TRAVEL BACK IN TIME AND SWITCH PLACES WITH THE DIRECTOR OF THIS FINE, FINE…FINE…SUPER FINE MOVIE…OH, THE INJUSTICE…OH, THE INIQUITY…OH, oh, well, I really ought to get on with the story now and quit being a drama queen, I trust you have grown quite tired of me prattling on like this by now…oh, by all means, read on…
Forbidden Fruit
Todd paced nervously back and forth across the small dorm room he shared with Neil Perry…A ghost of a smile danced across his lips, consequence of simply thinking about the shaggy haired heartthrob. Todd peaked over at Neil's bed, where he sat doing his homework. Neil's painfully kissable lips spread into one of the young actor's breathtaking smiles, almost as if Neil knew that Todd was thinking about him. Todd shook his head, attempting to rid his mind of such ridiculous ideas, and failing horribly. Todd blushed furiously and turned away from Neil, his mind still laced with wicked thoughts. Neil was forbidden fruit, Todd knew better than to pursue him, didn't he?
"Ugh…" Todd thought, and inadvertently sighed, "Neil HAS to know what he is doing to me…I mean, I have NEVER seen anyone so amused by trigonometry homework in my life, not even Pitts and Meeks!" Todd let out another exasperated sigh, eliciting an annoyed response from Neil. "Hey, Toddy" Neil crooned causing the familiar heat to return to Todd's cheeks. Todd didn't like it when people called him that, and while he really couldn't pinpoint why he found it distasteful it didn't change the fact that he did.
He listened as Neil continued to talk, "do you need something, or are you just going to continue pacing and sighing with your panties all in a twist?"
Todd noticed a mischievous glint in Neil's beautiful hazel eyes. It was obvious, Neil was playing with him, but Todd couldn't blame him. Todd was an easy target. He was overly shy, unbelievably awkward and painfully spineless when it came to expressing himself—though he could always count on his emotions to be completely transparent when he needed most to hide them. Neil must have picked up on Todd's damn near obsession with him and was seeing how far he could push it. Although he did it in a kinder, friendlier way then, say, Charlie might have, it still stung. Todd narrowed his eyes, burning a hole in floor as he spoke,
"Ugh…" he sighed again, "it's nothing. Nothing at all" Todd's voice was barely above a whisper.
"What, Todd? Did you say something?" Neil asked distractedly.
"No, Neil, you're crazy. I didn't say a thing." Todd teased uncharacteristically. He wasn't lying, Todd had not, in fact, said "a thing".
Neil looked up and studied Todd in a kind of smothered amusement—if there is any such thing—making obvious mental note of the fact that Todd was trembling, everywhere, and his face looked as though it was on fire with vexation. Todd was in the middle of stuttering some kind of apology when Neil interrupted him,
"Hey, Todd, relax. It's okay. I'm not mad. Just chill out so I can study. It's hard to focus with you huffing and puffing". Todd nodded curtly, acknowledging his folly.
Then something surprising happened, Todd could have sworn he heard Neil continue, but this time mumbling,
"By the way, the only thing I'm crazy about is you".
As soon as Todd thought he heard it his head shot up, almost giving him whiplash, and stared expectantly at Neil. But, alas, the nearly inaudible statement had occurred so quickly, and Neil had returned to his ever interesting Trig book before the declaration had even reached Todd's ears. Luckily, this made it easy for Todd to convince himself that it was simply his imagination getting away from him…but he couldn't keep that nugget of hope from lodging itself in the back of his brain. The ghost of a smile from earlier had broadened into a fully fledged grin—which he hid by facing the wall against his bed and mentally scolding himself for acting like such an idiot. Soon enough both boys heard Mr. Nolan calling for lights out and they shared their usual goodnights before resigning to their individual bed where they would spend the night cold and alone.
Todd woke up early the next morning. He shielded his eyes from the light that slipped through the window between his and Neil's beds. Still halfway asleep, Todd scrambled to put on his stuffy school uniform. He was halfway done getting ready when he heard Neil's sleepy voice,
"Todd, you know it's Saturday, right?"
Todd felt his face heat up with indignity, "Oh, well, I…um… apologize for waking you" he sighed, slumping onto his bed and loosening his tie.
"Awww, you don't need," Neil yawned and continued, "to be sorry Toddy!" Todd flinched at the crass nickname.
Neil leapt out of bed, already in an enviously awake state at 5 o'clock in the morning,
"I like waking up early!" Neil noticed Todd's skeptical facial expression, "Well on non-school days that is. Now we have plenty of time to have fun and do what we want before we have to get back to our homework!" Neil gasped dramatically, "Oh and LOOK at that sunrise".
Todd groaned sleepily, he had humiliated himself enough already, he wanted to just go back to bed and try to ignore the fact that he had screwed up for the billionth time. Of course the vibrant young actor wouldn't have his friend miss such a wonderful moment, so he rushed to Todd's bedside taking hold of his nervously clenched and clammy hands. Neil then heaved Todd up off the bed promptly enough that when Todd landed on his feet he stumbled close enough to Neil that their chests were touching. Todd licked his lips, trying desperately to suppress the urge to close the painfully minute distance between their lips. The boys eyed each other intently, both daring the other to make the first move.
"Oh to hell with it!" Todd exclaimed exasperatedly before closing the gap between their lips.
Neil's eyes widened in shock, mostly surprised at Todd's forwardness, but he recovered quickly and surrendered to the intoxicating affect that the kiss was having on him. For a moment they molded together, clinging to one another as if their lives depended on it. For a moment Todd wasn't afraid or self-conscious, Neil forgot the bleakness of his familial duties, and both discovered for the first time how freaking amazing it felt to let go. The empty place that had ached for far too long was extinguished. They breathed in each other's scent and exulted in the taste of one another. The kiss was desperate, hungry. Neither boy could get enough, they grasped mercilessly at shirt and skin and hair. The kiss continued to deepen as the boys battled briefly for dominance—Neil, of course, arose victorious, and Todd willingly surrendered to him. When they finally separated and their eyes met, both grinned at the other and breathed heavily. The moment was almost surreal in its perfection. Todd's smile faded as he allowed the event that had just taken place to fully sink in. He pulled away from Neil and collapsed heavily on his bed, his heart still racing from the kiss and his brain completely frozen in mortification from what he had done. Neil's face fell as well as he searched Todd's eyes for an answer to his sudden disinclination.
Neil swallowed audibly, "Todd?" he inquired worriedly.
Todd remained frozen in place, purposely avoiding Neil's wounded gaze. Neil reached out to cradle Todd's cheek in an attempt to gently force Todd to face him, and begged,
"Todd please look at me. I need to know what's wrong. What did I do?" but Neil retracted when Todd moved even further from the boy, his muscles tensing.
Neil recovered and spoke again; his voice wavering somewhat, "Please" he entreated plainly.
Neil's injured tone wrenched at Todd's heart and convinced him to glance briefly at the other boy. Concern replaced self pity in Neil's eyes when he noticed the outline of Todd's eyes had turned an angry shade of red as they filled with tears. Neil climbed delicately onto Todd's bed, careful to keep a distance from him so as not to worsen the situation. What had just minutes ago been perfect was slowly turning into a disaster. Todd spoke, his voice laced with contrition,
"I'm sorry Neil. I'm so sorry, I can't even put into words how terribly contrite I feel. I crossed the line, and forced you into something that I am not even sure that you want. No, I forced you into something I KNOW you don't want. You don't want to feel the way I do…like you don't belong, like you're an outcast" Neil opened his mouth to protest but Todd overstepped him in his vehemence, "I know that I feel that way because I really don't belong. I have thoughts that are wicked and immoral. Thoughts that will send me straight to hell and how dare I try to drag you down with me? You're my friend! What the hell kind of person sullies's the image of their friend because they can't control their own selfish desires? Obviously someone like me. Even if by some miracle you happen to feel the same way about me as I feel about you, that still doesn't help us. If anything it damns us further! We can't do this ever again, it was irresponsible and inappropriate. Look…if you want to swap roommates I totally understand, in fact I think you should just stay as far away from me as possible. I just beg of you that you refrain from telling Nolan the reason why. I know that I am in no position to be demanding things from you, but please? I can't afford to get kicked out of here. That's all I ask. I'm so sorry; I never should have let my guard down. It won't ever happen again, I give you my word—though I doubt my word is really worth much" Todd inhaled deeply, his breath shaking as the tears that had flooded his weary eyes now trickled silently down his cheeks. Todd wiped them away violently and turned from Neil in an attempt to disguise his sorrow.
Neil hardly noticed the tears that had begun the flow from his own eyes as he sat, utterly stunned by the severity of Todd's self loathing. He watched the harsh rise and fall of Todd's back as he sobbed, and extended his arm to place a consoling hand on Todd's shoulder but as soon as he made contact Todd flinched away as if burned. Without turning, Todd hissed at Neil venomously,
"I said go Neil. I just want you to leave me alone! Don't make this any harder than it has to be…"
Neil's eyes narrowed determinately and he averred,
"No" he objected feebly. The word was simple, but held more emotion than Neil thought possible.
Todd turned around this time, wholly stunned by Neil's riposte. For a moment Neil could have sworn he saw a relieved and hopeful glint in Todd's eye, but then it was replaced yet again with the all too familiar self deprecating anguish that frequently tugged at the young poet's eyes.
"W-w-what?" Todd managed to stutter in response.
Neil straightened set his shoulders and straightened his back and neck defiantly. This time he spoke forcefully and boldly,
"I said NO. I refuse to leave, and I refuse to be told that what I feel is wrong. What the hell has come over you Todd? Since when is it okay to just let something like this go, to just give up, just because someone might not approve? What the hell happened to carpe diem? You have to seize the day, Todd! Do you think I'm going to quit the play just because my father doesn't approve? Of course not! I care about acting enough to keep on with it" Neil took a weighty breath and wiped a tear from his cheek before continuing, "Look, Todd, what I am trying to say is that you have to stick with the things you love. No matter how tough or incommodious it may be to stay, you always do because it's what you love. It's what you care about…and Todd Anderson, I love you more than I ever thought possible. I love you to the point of physical pain, and if you think for one minute that I am going to just walk away and pretend that I don't feel the way I do then you are wrong, dead wrong!"
Neil finished talking, his breathing labored from rambling. His hazel eyes pierced Todd's brown ones daring the younger boy to refute his speech, and surprisingly he didn't. Instead Todd's lip quivered momentarily before he flung himself across the bed to where Neil was perched and embraced the actor in earnest. Todd buried his head in the crook of Neil's neck and though Neil was momentarily stunned but soon recovered and gripped Todd fervently. Emotionally and physically worn out; the boys sunk down onto the bed, both refusing to let go of the other. As sleep deprived weakness took hold, Todd managed to whisper one last avowal,
"I love you too Neil…" Neil acknowledged Todd's statement by placing an affectionate kiss on his forehead and smiling lazily.
It had become clear to them that what they had taken once for forbidden fruit wasn't actually all that forbidden. Todd moved closer to Neil by entwining their legs and pressing his head against Neil's chest. Under the protective cover of stillness, they lay in Todd's bed listening to each other's breathing, and feeling the rise and fall of one another's chest, delighting in the closeness of the other person. The breaths of the contented teenagers soon lulled and their heart rates slowed as they drifted into deep, uninterrupted sleep.
Note: Psssssst…Hey, it's me again…you know the ingenious author who gave birth to this miracle? Wow…I am really sorry about that sentence. No use turning back though, that would mean I'd have to use the delete key which means I'd have to admit I'd made a mistake which, let me tell you, is NOT going to happen. I'm just joking. I'd delete it but it just seems so naturally a part of this stupid author's note now that it really would be a crying shame to take it away…plus I'm just really freaking lazy. Yeah, anyways, I just thought I might remind you to review again if you had forgotten the note at the beginning of the story…I mean, if I'm going to hound you, I'm going to go the whole nine yards. I'm just going to annoy the hell out of you till you cave. I'm like an annoying younger sister who won't get out of your room until you fulfill her wishes…FULFILL MY WISHES!!!!!
