HARRY POTTER AND THE LATE NIGHT FAN FIC THAT RUINED EVERYTHING,
BY ME.
SUMMERY: Harry is up late one night, google-ing his name, when he comes across a fan fiction site and is horrified to find all the CRAP people write, and some how all our favorite charators end up there, too.
CHAPTER 1: THE ROMANCE FIC.
Harry was google-ing his name one night when he found something strange: A thing called a fan fiction. Haveing no idea what a fan fic was, he clicked on it.
It came from a web site called Instead of reading this fic, he clicked the 'home' button on the page and it brought him to a whole realm of fan fics bassed on him. "...The hell...all these things are about me? Why would people write about me?" Harry thought.
He made the mistake of clicking on the romance fic section, and was immeadiently bombared with fan fics that all seemed to have names like ' Light in the dark,' 'Rain shadows,' 'Heart of darkness,' and so on, and they all had summeries like ' Harry is lonly one night and Ron is the only person who can help him,' 'Hermione has been cursed by Malfoy and Ron must bring her back to health,' and, well, you get the idea.
"What the heck is a slash fic?" Harry thought. If the world of fan fics made any sense, slash would have ment ' violence,' but no, it means a graphic-y gay fic.
Of course, Harry didn't know that, so he clicked on one that said ' Snarry slash.'
It started out something like this:
' Snape was waiting for all the stoodents to leve the dungons one day after potions class. He had spent the hole lesson thinking about how much he loved Harry and now he couldn't take it any more and was going to tell him after everyone left even though Snape was like 50 yers older then Harry and evul.
"Poter, come here." Snape said.
Harry did and they started explaining their feelings for each other in a disgustingly gushy way and then commenced to makeing out.'
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!"
Harry screamed, grabbing a near by hammer and started whacking the computer.
Not only was that fan fic sick, but it was spelled WRONG.
"What are you screaming about, Potter?" Snape demanded.
Harry sobbed and pointed at the computer. Snape took one look and sheirked, then pulled out a sledge hammer and started bashing the computer screaming "DIE EVIL DEMONS! DIE!!"
"Stop it, stop it. What are you reading?" Hermione asked, repairing the computer with her wand and reading the fic. She gasped. "Oh how could those horrid fan fic writers write this disgusting crap?! Snape is a teacher and Harry is 16! But we shouldn't be distroying the computer, we should be distroying the fic's writer!" Hermione said, pulling out her own hammer.
"Potter, there will be no need to come in to potions class. Ever again." Snape said shuddering.
Hermione and Ron mean while were looking at more fics.
"Oh, lets read this one." She said.
This fic started out something like this: ' Hermyony was reading a book and Ron couldn't take it. He jumped on her and they started makeing out. There would be more, but the writer of this fic is listening to music, and it's rather distracting. So, a bunch of fluff happens, then Hermyony gets attacked by death eaters and Ron has a duel with Voldomort and wins, then gets rich,'
" He he he.." Ron laughed as he drooled slightly, re-reading the many make out parts.
Hermione looked scandelized. " Look at all those spelling errors!" she shrieked.
"Yeah, and where did this fic's writer get the idea that Ron would save the world?! I'M THE BOY THAT FREACKIN' LIVED!!!" Harry yelled.
"And why would anyone want you, mud blood?" Malfoy demanded.
"Alright Malfoy, lets just see how many people want to be with me!" Hermione said, going back to the romance fic home page. Harry grabbed Ron's arm, for Ron was raiseing a hammer over Malfoy's head.
"Hmmmm, lets see.. Theres me and Ron, me and Harry, me and Snape oh, thats horrible, too, me and AAAAA!! DUMBLEDORE! Oh good God, me and Fred or George, hey, heres Dramione!" Hermione said.
"Whats Dramione?" asked Seiris, who had come back to life just to make us wonder.
"It's me and Draco, honestly, hasn't anyone read 'Fan fics, a history?'" Hermione demanded, clicking on the Dramione fic.
It read: ' Malfoy was a pure-blood, he could not luv a mud-blood like Hermoony Granger. But he did luv her, like a lot, and he couldn't take it.
He wanted to ask her out to the dance, but just could'nt, so he was sad throo the hole dance, untill Hermoony came out. She looked so pretty in her red dress, and her hair wasn't bushy it was now staight and pretty.
He asked her to dance and they started makeing out, then they got married even though they were fifth years. The end'
" Oh God, that was horrible! Do they really think I'm so sluty I'd go out with MALFOY!? And can't anyone spell?!" Hermoony, I mean Hermione cried.
"Do I have have any fics?" asked Lupin.
"Yeah, but it looks like there mostly slash fics between you Sirius, Snape, or James." Hermione said.
Lupin, Snape, Sirius, and James all gaged and started screaming.
"And Ron, it seems that you have the most slash fics out of all of us- HEY! WHAT DID YOU DO WITH VIKTOR?!" Hermione yelled, seeing the Ron/Krum fic.
"I'm sure it's nothing, Hermione." said Dumbledore, who had just poped up with Voldemort.
"Yeah, your probably right, professor. Oh look. Heres a Dumbledore/ Voldemort fic!" Hermione said.
"Uhhh, thats enough of this." Dumbledore said hastily, exchangeing a shiftty look with Voldemort.
END OF CHAPTER 1.
AUTHERS NOTE: Ok, terribley sorry to all romance writters out there, but romance fics are intensely boring after a while. Now parody fics are an art form. Anyway, PUHLEEZE reveiw sob I know I never reveiwed a fic, but thats only cuz my mom won't let me! I still don't know what to have the HP charactors read for chapter 2. I'm thinkin' action, but I don't know...
