I Left My Heart In New York
Chapter 1
Finn and Rachel's Loft - Night
Finn was sitting on the couch, bouncing his knee while staring at the digital clock on the DVR. It read: 11:49 PM. He leaned back into the couch and sighed. All the lights in the loft were turned off and the only light sources came from the fireplace and the candle in the dining room.
He pulled his cell phone out from his back pocket and sighed when he saw there were no new messages. When the back light switched off, he put his phone away and turned his attention toward the door. Waiting for Rachel to walk in.
Just as he was about to turn and face forward again, he heard the door knob turn and immediately stood up. "Rachel?"
Once Rachel walked in, he smiled enthusiastically. "Rachel." He sighed happily.
Rachel smiled, "Finn." She set her purse down and Finn ran over to help her take her coat off. "Thank you, Finn, but... What are you still doing up? It's almost midnight and... you have work tomorrow."
Finn shrugged. "I know, but... I was waiting for you to come home."
"Finn, I told you that you don't have to do that anymore. You need your sleep, and I always get home after you should already be sleeping."
He looked down and murmured, "Well... you usually come home at least somewhat sooner than this..." He tilted his head in the direction of the clock..
Rachel pursed her lips. "Yeah..."
"I uh, I made dinner for us..." He sighed.
Rachel's face softened and she took her coat off. After she hung it on the coat rack by the door, she walked up to Finn and gave him hug. To both comfort and thank him. She pulled back enough to look up and see Finn's face, but since Finn's arms were still wrapped around her, she placed her hands on his biceps.
Rachel smiled. "That was very sweet, Finn..." She looked up at him, "But you didn't need to do that."
"But I hardly ever see you anymore, Rachel."
"I know. I know, and I'm sorry. You know that I love spending time with you. But I just had a really long rehearsal today, and I'm just really exhausted."
"I know, but-"
"Plus, I kinda already ate..."
"You did?" Finn's face fell.
"Yeah. The cast took me out to dinner." She smiled. "You know, sort of as a way to thank their female lead,for working so hard."
Finn couldn't help but smile. Rachel was so happy. He looked down and let go of Rachel. "You have been working hard..." He sighed. "Why don't you just go bed while I clear the table?"
"Oh, do you want me to help?"
"No! No... that's fine. You've had a long day. I'll do it. Um, I'll be up in a minute."
Rachel smiled and raised herself up on her tip toes to kiss Finn on the cheek. "I love you, Finn." She smiled as she walked into the bedroom.
Finn inhaled sharply, "Love you, too..."
Taking a deep breath, he walked into the dining room.
"Happy anniversary," He said as he blew out the candle on the table.
Kurt and Blaine's Apartment – Day
Kurt and Blaine were sitting on the couch. Blaine's arm was around Kurt and Kurt was biting his nails, leaned over, staring at his cell phone on the coffee table.
Blaine leaned forward to look at Kurt. "Kurt, stop biting your nails."
Kurt put his hands out in front of him. "I wasn't..." He looked at Blaine, who was smiling. "Fine, I was. I can't help it. I'm nervous."
"You're going to get the part, Kurt. I know you will. That part was practically made for you."
Kurt took a deep breath. "Yeah... I know. I really want it, too. But... what if I don't get it?"
"You will." Blaine reassured Kurt and set his hand on Kurt's knee. "You just need to be positive."
He inhaled sharply and sat up straight. "Right. Positive."
Blaine smiled and looked at Kurt's phone, also anxious for it to ring.
When it finally did, Kurt squeaked. "Ah!"
Blaine laughed, "Kurt."
He nodded. "Right." Kurt cleared his throat and his hand was shaking as he picked up the phone. He took a deep breath as he answered it. He put the speaker up to his ear. "Hello? Yes, this is he. Hold on one moment." He put his hand over the speaker and turned to Blaine. "I'm going to take this into the other room. I'll be back."
Blaine nodded and smiled. "Not that you need it, but good luck."
Kurt rolled his eyes and walked into the bedroom. "Yes. I'm back..." Kurt's voice trailed off and Blaine walked into the kitchen.
He looked around and opened the liquor cabinet, pulling out Kurt's favorite wine. Blaine flipped the bottle in the air and caught it. He set the bottle on the counter and spun around to face the wine glasses he already had set out. He could faintly hear Kurt in the other room, but couldn't make out what was being said. He stabbed the cork with the wine bottle opener, and with some struggle, finally got it open.
Kurt opened the door and walked towards Blaine with the cell phone speaker still pressed against his ear. Blaine quickly poured wine into both of the glasses while looking at Kurt.
"Uh-huh... Yes... Thank you... I'll be there... Goodbye." Kurt sighed as he hung up the phone and Blaine grabbed both of the glasses before he walked up to Kurt.
Blaine smiled, oblivious to the hurt expression on Kurt's face, "So...? Did you get the male lead?"
Kurt shook his head.
"Oh? Then... leading supporter?"
He shook his head again.
"...3rd male from the left?"
Kurt sighed when he shook his head again.
Blaine hesitated a little, "Understudy?" Kurt nodded and Blaine sighed. He set the glasses down and gave Kurt a hug. "...I'm sorry."
As Kurt pulled away from the hug, he inhaled sharply. "Don't be. It's fine. There'll be other plays, right?" Kurt shrugged and walked off into the kitchen.
"I... guess?" Blaine bit his lip as he followed Kurt into the kitchen. "What are you doing?"
Kurt was on his tip toes looking through the liquor cabinet. "Looking for something we can toast to."
Blaine looked over at the wine he already prepared. "I already poured wine for us..."
Kurt laughed, "Yeah, you poured the good wine. An occasion like this doesn't exactly deserve the good wine..."
"Yeah, well... It's not like I can put it back."Blaine chuckled lightly.
"Oh well." Kurt said, still searching through the cabinet. "We still shouldn't toast to it... Oh! Here we go!" Kurt pulled out a bottle of tomato juice from the back and walked over to Blaine. "I think this is much more fitting to the occasion."
Blaine sighed, "Kurt."
"What?"
"Stop."
"Stop what?"
"This. You're trying to pretend that you aren't upset. When I know that you are. It's OK to get upset Kurt. I mean, this is the fourth show in a row that you got cast as understudy for the lead. I mean, that has to hurt."
Kurt's voice was steady. "It does."
"So then... get upset about it. Stop... pretending like it doesn't bother you."
"It does. I am upset. If I wasn't... I wouldn't be pouring myself a glass of... tomato juice."
Blaine took a deep breath. "Yeah... I can see that. But-"
Kurt ignored Blaine's comment and continued, "You think I'm not upset about it?"
Blaine shrugged, "I don't know. But whenever you get a call saying you got the lead's understudy, you don't get mad, or sad, or... anything. You just kind of... pretend it doesn't affect you."
"Well, what do you want me to do, Blaine? Yell? Or cry? I'm not going to do that."
"I'm not... I'm not asking you to do that. I just-" He stopped, not sure what he wanted to say next.
After a short moment of silence, Kurt spoke up. "It's going on eight years, Blaine."
Blaine sighed, "I know..."
"It's been eight years and I still haven't made it." Kurt walked over to the living room and picked up a magazine, with Rachel on the cover, off the coffee table. He pointed at Rachel. "It's been eight years for her, too. But she won a tony for Best Breakout Star of the Year."
"Yeah, but-"
"I'm not..." Kurt looked up and took a deep breath, forcing his tears back. "How come I haven't won a Tony?"
Blaine opened his mouth, but couldn't find any words. "I don't... I don't know."
"I'm always second best. I always get so close. But I'm never good enough..."
"Kurt,"
"I always come in second to Rachel Berry. It's always been that way. And... it always will be."
Blaine couldn't bear to watch Kurt act this way any longer. "Kurt, I-" He walked up to Kurt and wrapped his arms tightly around him. "You will make it, OK, Kurt? I know you will. Soon."
Kurt took a deep breath right before a tear slowly rolled down his cheek.
Finn and Rachel's Loft Bedroom – Morning
Finn rolled over and a ray of light coming through their thin curtains shined in his eye. He shut his eyes tighter and rolled over to the other side. "Mmm... Rachel." He murmured as he put his arms out. Expecting to touch Rachel and wrap his arms around her. But he couldn't feel anything. He slowly opened his eyes and saw that Rachel wasn't there.
He sighed deeply, "Of course..."
He groaned as he pulled the covers off of himself, and sat on the edge of the bed. He dragged his feet as he walked into the bathroom and his face lit up a little when he saw a note taped to the bathroom mirror. It read:
Finn,
I forgot to tell you that my call time today was 5:30. Sorry we couldn't have breakfast like you wanted. Next time though, I promise! Have a great day at work,babe. :)
xo Rachel
Finn read the note over and over. He just couldn't stand having to be apart from Rachel all the time. And he really couldn't stand the fact that Rachel always seemed to be OK with it.
But she was living her dream, and Finn didn't want to take that from her.
He sighed and crumpled up the note. He tossed it into the trash bin just as he walked back into the bedroom.
