Oh, the pain.

Not from the hangover he was to have soon. A different kind of pain. Like the emotional kind that, before Haymitch had went to the Hunger Games, he figured was fake.

He swigged down the remains of a bottle of liquor, the opalescent moonlight glinting off of it and the metallic blade of his knife that he held in his other hand. The window was open just as it was every night, letting the air in. It sent shivers down Haymitch's spine. But he didn't care.

He sat down on the sofa. Just a minute ago the television was blaring and his eyes were starting to become sore from looking at it. Spots were even clogging his vision, even. So eventually he shut it off with the press of a button, finished his alcohol, and lay back, staring at the ceiling, and then forcing his grey eyes shut. But he was far from asleep. It was one, two, three in the morning and still, his mind was busy processing thoughts, all the little levers and pulleys working away.

And the star-crossed lovers lived Happily Fucking Ever After.

Or something like that. Haymitch didn't even remember.

He didn't even know if it was Happily Ever After for them star-crossed lovers. With that little stunt they pulled, it may or may not be a happy ending. But then again, it wouldn't be a Happy Ending for him, either. Because it the Capitol went after her, they also went after him.

Fuck. Normally liquor had slowed down his system and made him fall asleep until noon when he usually awoke. But this...he just wanted this to stop.

She didn't deserve him. Not that he was saying he did, either. He and Katniss were no angels. But he was. He had a good heart, or a pure soul, or something like that in which Haymitch wasn't particularly familiar with. All of his thoughts of the boy were...of that sort. Oh, how he wanted it so bad...

...Haymitch never felt love. Well, he had loved his family and all of the friends he used to have in District 12, but never the romantic kind of love. He had fucked a few prostitutes and girls whom were anxious to sleep with the victor of the Hunger Games, but that wasn't love. And he was well aware of the fact that he probably never would, too. But while he was very drunk when he came up to the reaping, he still caught in the center of his eye this beautiful blond-haired boy whom had walked on to the stage. He only saw the girl through the corner of his eye and had thought of her as very pretty, but he saw the boy afterward and felt some sort of light come to him. He was a good-looking boy with bright blue eyes whom was built well and, as he saw later, had such a sunbeam for a smile.

But it was more than physical attraction. Haymitch had eighty thousand of them before. He continued to watch the boy throughout the next few weeks and felt something, though. He noticed how much of a bright spirit he was, how he was so good-willed it made him want to cry.

So that one day, when Peeta went up to be interviewed by Caesar Flickerman...Haymitch watched Peeta's every move, and then...and then he said he loved her. He was well aware of the fact that Katniss didn't believe he meant it, so Haymitch just said, 'It's all a big show. It's just how you're perceived.' He didn't believe in his words. But he just hoped they were true.

During the Games, there was one sight Haymitch relished in: Peeta's bare skin. Katniss was so lucky. How he wanted to touch it and feel what it would be like to have his fingers gently graze, down, down, down, and then have his lips come to Peeta's...And then Peeta would smile and moan as Haymitch came in and out, in and out, in and out...and then, only he could have Peeta.

But yet another scene continues to replay through Haymitch's mind. In the cave. They kiss. Both of their first kisses. No...that was supposed to be his...

...And yet again, Haymitch's heart wrenched.

Happily ever after. The thing he could never have.

Author's Note: Thank you to those of you who read this cheesy, awful fanfic. I like yaoi, and I just finished Catching Fire, so this came to mind. I haven't exactly figured out whether or not I'm for this couple yet, but this came to my mind, so...I hope you enjoyed. All I know is that I absolutely hate KatnissxPeeta and I love Haymitch. This was a quick write. Sorry if it's bad.