Yay! I'm back with a new fic! School started again so I felt quite bored and decided to write a bit. The beginning of this fic is fairly angry but that was just me venting some anger out because I get waaaaaaay too much homework... And thanks to all the people who reviewed in my previous fics and were kind enough to correct me with few of my mistakes.


Dear Li Syaoran,

I hate you! You know why? Because you're an arrogant self-centered cold-hearted jerk! How can you not see how I feel for you? I LOVE you, goddammit! But can you see that? Noooooooooooooo... All you can think about is your precious perfect Sakura-chan. ARGH!

You are such a stupid idiot! What the hell is your problem? After all the years that I have been by your side, doing everything I could to make you happy, you go ahead and fall for someone else!

So what if she's drop-dead gorgeous! So what if she has cuter, bigger, emerald green eyes that are your favorite color! So what if she has beautiful golden-auburn hair that frames her lovely tanned face perfectly! So what if she is kawaii, and innocent, and naïve, and pretty, and kind, and selfless, and perpetually cheerful with a smile that can outshine the sun, and and and—! So what if she is so damn perfect that everyone loves and adores her! So what if she is so talented – as the Card Mistress, as a cook, as an artist, as an athlete, as EVERYTHING!

Just because she's so bloody perfect and just because she's everything that I'm not, doesn't give you the right to dump me for her! Okay, so what if we were never officially a couple. Everyone knew you were mine! Even she did! But did you notice? NO! The almighty, handsome, athletic, PERFECT Li Syaoran had to go and fall in love with the pretty, charming, kind, PERFECT Kinomoto Sakura!

I know I'm not perfect and I know that she is Little Miss Flawless but still! I have something that she doesn't and that she never will! I have CHARACTER!

But you're never gonna notice that are you? You're too smitten with her. You're always there by her side, with your arms around her waist, whispering sweet nothings into her ear. Flattering her, being sweet and romantic for her, going to anger management sessions for her (and so that you and her brother stop fighting), being charming for her, smiling those special smiles where your eyes sparkle and your entire face lights up for her, being gentle and caring and loving for her.

I tried so hard for years to do what she can to you in seconds without noticing! Do you have any idea how much that hurts? How much it makes me want to hate her and tear her to shreds? Do you? No, you don't. Coz you're to busy trying to give her the world. Neither of you seem to notice that my world has been stolen from me. That the person that I love more than anything has fallen for someone else.

Neither of you seem to notice many tears I've shed because you can't or just WON'T notice me. I can understand that from her because she's so dense that she won't notice anything but really Li Syaoran! I thought you would! Especially since we live together! How can you have not heard my sobs while I cry myself to sleep? How can you have not noticed how often I have to fake a smile? How can you have not noticed how quiet I've been? How can you have not noticed how red and puffy my eyes are? It's probably because you're too caught up with your love of Sakura-chan, right?

I knew she had the power to take you away from me. I knew it would happen the moment I first saw her; in your apartment wearing your shirt. It had only been a few weeks since you had left and already you were sharing clothes and letting her stay in your apartment!

I promised myself that I would hate her! She was stealing my Syaoran away from me and I would never let that happen! But slowly she managed to make me happy too. She became my friend and I couldn't hate her... Just like everyone else I fell under her spell, I couldn't hate her she was just too nice and innocent and sweet.

I know why you love her, and why I could never win your love. She's everything that I'm not... She's care-free, happy, full of life and she makes you happy... Whereas I, on the other hand, am more of a worry or a pain than the light of your life. I'm selfish, rude, possessive, forceful and quite often temperamental.

I know that I'm full of flaws, like how I'm too brash and reckless, and always end up getting hit in the head, like how I don't often notice my own strength and send you falling face first to the ground, like how when I'm upset I go around bullying and intimidating guys.

I know I'm not good enough for you, whereas she is perfect. I know that you deserve the best because you are Li Syaoran! So I have decided to let go... I'll stop glomping you and being so possessive and try to steal you away from Sakura-chan whenever I have the chance... I'll let you go, like setting a caged bird free so that it can be happy and experience life... I love you but I just want you to be happy, and Sakura-chan is the only one who can make you happy...

Maybe one day I'll find someone who loves me more than anything in the world, more than life itself, like you love Sakura-chan. He'll look at me with the same loving gaze that you give Sakura, the one that shows that no matter what you'll always be by her side. He'll hold me in the same tender and gentle way that you do to Sakura, like I'm fragile and delicate and yet still show that he's yearning to hold me tight and never let go...

Although I realized something else as I was writing this... I'm not gonna find this guy waiting around Tomoeda... Sure you found Sakura, and Eriol has Tomoyo, and Touya has Yukito, and Chiharu has Yamazaki, and Rika has Terada-sensei and everything, but the guy I'm looking for, I just don't think he's gonna be here... I guess this is my way of saying that I'm leaving... I can't bear to say it to your face or to anyone else here because I know that I'm just gonna crumble and fall to pieces and decide not to go... Especially if I see you Li Syaoran...

I mean we're in high school! I need to go out and see the world and the billions of guys on the planet who might fall in love with me. So I'm going to America, to San Francisco really. I'm staying with Naoko-chan. She invited me because she's lonely there seeing as she just moved, after she got that scholarship to that prestigious high school. She and I are gonna do some boy-friend hunting together, away from all of the mushy couples here.

So goodbye, Li Syaoran, and say goodbye to everyone else for me too. And thank Tomoyo-chan for me; tell her I'm sorry I got her lap wet on numerous occasions... And thank Sakura-chan too. She told me that if something was wrong and I couldn't tell someone, to write it down and it would make me feel better and see things clearer. She was right. And also tell her that I'm not mad that she stole your heart but that I'm glad that she can make you happy.

Love from, your cousin and ex-fiancée

Li Meilin

P.S. I'll remember to bring you a souvenir from America, so don't worry. I hope that you will stay happy, especially now that I, the one you called an 'annoying clingy burden', is gone.


Sneezii: And I've finished another oneshot! Yay! Although this is the shortest one I've ever written... Please read and review!