"Dick Grayson is homosexual."
Robin laughs around a spoonful of cereal. "You didn't catch on to that already? That's sad, dude."
Rolling his eyes, Kid Flash waves a magazine. "That's what this says. There's an article about you and your boyfriend. A very handsome, mysterious redheaded boy."
"It says you're handsome?"
"Well not exactly, but it's strongly implied. Anyway, you've been outed, sweet cheeks."
Dick shrugs. "Well okay. Not like it was some big secret."
"We should go out today. Go eat or shopping or something."
"Why?"
"We need to give them a better picture than this." Wally scrutinizes the picture disapprovingly. "It's all blurry. You can't see how utterly handsome I am. Which is why they didn't say it outright."
"Why does it matter?"
"Come on, you gotta give the fan girls what they want. Oh, oh! We should 'get caught' doing silly things. It'll be hilarious."
Dick's grin promises trouble. "We should do something that would annoy Bruce."
"Are you kidding me?" Wally looks around incredulously. "You want to get Batman mad? At me, the boyfriend who is defiling his only child?"
"KF, you're not defiling me."
"Tell him that!"
"I have."
"Well do it again. I can feel his wrath through that damn cowl. It's scary."
"Don't worry, I'll protect you if he tries anything."
"No, you won't, you little liar. You will laugh your fine ass off and watch him tear me apart."
Dick can't deny that with any credibility. "It would be entertaining. Anyway, what should we get caught doing that would be wondrously scandalous?"
"I'm not doing anything that will aggravate Batman."
"Okay, we won't try for that."
"Stop that."
"Stop what?"
"That fake innocent look. You know full well what you're doing with those blue eyes of yours. No wonder Batman is always pissed off, he has to deal with you every day."
"That's hurtful." Dick pouts.
"Suck in that lip right now."
"Or what?"
Wally realizes he has nothing with which to threaten Dick. He realizes he has no power in this relationship. He is so whipped.
Dick cackles and leans over the table to kiss Wally.
Wally realizes he doesn't mind being whipped.
"Okay, we can do whatever you want, Boy Wonderful. We can freaking take the Batmobile for a joyride if you want to."
"Really?" Robin lights up, hopeful and mischievous and beautiful and deadly.
"You will be the end of me, babe. But hey, it'll be a fun ride."
"More likely Babs will be the end of you."
"But I haven't done anything!" Wally whines, throwing his hands up.
"Keep it that way and you might survive."
"Being your boyfriend is terrifying. It's dangerous. But it would be even more dangerous to leave you. Bats and Babs would hunt me down mercilessly."
"Isn't it wonderful? Not to mention what I would do to you."
Wally drops his head onto the table with a loud thump. "Please stop. I really can't handle this conversation anymore."
"Okay, okay." Dick reaches over and soothingly pets Wally's lovely red hair. "Do you still want to go out?"
"Whatever you want, dude."
"Hungry?"
Wally perks up. "Always."
"We could go to that Mexican karaoke place in Gotham."
"Karaoke?"
"Yeah. We can sing something funny wearing those sombreros they have and make fools of ourselves. Someone will be sure to record it and post it all over the internet."
"Okay. That sounds fun."
"Awesome. You like how I made it seem as though you had a choice in the matter?"
Wally crosses his arms. "I'm whipped, you don't have to be a dick about it, Dick."
"Oh, stop pouting."
"Or what?"
"Or I'll sick Batman and Barbara on you."
Wally immediately sucks in his lip.
