div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;"Sam Winchester never perceived himself as a troubled child. He was a smart boy, not ranking top of his class, but pretty close. His parents were't exactly happily married but they didn't fight all the time, they made it work for them and their kids. He didn't consider himself popular but his small Laurence town school was pretty well open and friendly. Most people got along with everyone unless it was a specific grudge, no cliches really forming. His hero, his big brother Dean, was always there to look out for him and have his back. So, in retrospect, Sam shouldn't have ever had to question the sanity of his head. /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;"He remembers when things hadn't been so confusing and terrifying. When he didn't question his morals./div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;"He remembers his family sitting around the table for dinner and eating happily. While nothing really changed for the Winchesters, his own perception of their life and himself had suddenly become a mess of self loathing and jealousy. As he laid awake in bed at the age of 17, long, dangly limbs spread out to cover the span, Sam could trace the birth of his demons back to one event. Which, in all honesty, shouldn't appear all that bad considering some people's lives are a barrage of bleeding messes that melt together to create an undefinable tragedy./div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;"But not for Sam. No, he could follow the single line that would flip his brain upside down for the rest of his life. /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;"It had all started at the age of 15, when he had seen something that he wasn't meant to./div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;"His older brother had just officially announced to the family that he was questioning his own sexuality. He hadn't labeled it at the time but 2 years later Dean would claim that he was pansexual, and leave it at that. This had been brought up, when Dean, fresh out of high school, had confided in them that he was seeing someone. That someone happened to be his best friend Castiel Shurley, the boy who had moved in across the street 5 years previously and was one year ahead of Dean in high school. Dean claimed that he had never been attracted to another boy before but by the time he graduated, he could only ever see himself being with Cas. It had been a shock on the family but no one had blamed nor hated either of them for it. Their mother had been ecstatic, practically cheering that she wouldn't have to worry about Dean knocking some poor girl up before he was ready to be a father. Their father had been shell-shocked most of the night, but the next day he had had a private heart-to-heart with his oldest son that seemed lengthy and deep. Dean would later recap for Sam that their father hadn't seen this coming but was just happy that Dean had the courage to follow his heart, even if it meant potentially facing his family. Dean had also made a disgusted face as he glossed over the details of a rather awkward safe-sex talk that they had had./div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;"Sam hadn't really understood Dean's paranoia at the time. He didn't know what the problem with being homosexual was (even if Dean still swears that he is not). Hell, they had neighbors who lived two doors down that were homosexual, and them and their parents had been friends for years. But, Dean had seemed scared and awkward for the first few weeks after he had made the announcements. Now-a-days, Sam had a full grasp on what that meant, which honestly didn't really mean anything. Dean and Cas had been in love, they still are in love, the pair were currently looking for an apartment to rent closer to Cas' college. But at the time Sam didn't understand why Dean had been so afraid to proclaim the things that he wanted. But, now he did. Because now, Sam was conflicted and needing and desperately yearning to do the same. But it wasn't that simple, not as simple as it had been for his brother./div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;"Sam stiffly pulled his boxers back up, throwing the dirty tissue he had used to clean himself up with into the waste basket by his desk. He flopped back down on his bed, covering his eyes with his forearm in an attempt to block out the light filtering in through the curtains of his window. /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;"He felt like he always felt after these incidents. Filthy, disgusted with himself, and lonely. It was in these moments that he hated what he had become, what this one event had reduced him to. Sure, it was easier now that Dean was out of the house but it didn't make it any better./div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;"And, like always, he let his brain recount the moment everything had changed for him./div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;"It had been a quiet Saturday night, the house silent other than the sound of his clock ticking on the wall. Dean had gone out with Cas, their relationship having already stretched into 4 months. They had told their parents that they were going to the local 24 hour diner for a "date night" but Dean had let slip to him that they were actually going to a party across town./div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;"It was 1:30 in the morning and a 15 year old Sam decided to sneak into his brothers room to sneak a peak at his good skin mags. Dean always kept them in a storage container crammed under his bed beneath some old winter sweaters. Sam had just pulled the first one out, sitting on the edge of his brothers bed as he flipped through the pages of scandalously dressed women. He was reading an article on one model's kinky experience at a night club when he heard the thud from the front room that could possibly have been the front door. He froze in fear at the sudden sound, listening for any sign of life. When he heard the jingling of keys and the scuffle of feet he let the panic take a hold of him. Shit, Dean must be home./div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;"He threw the magazine back into the container and hastily shoved it back under the bed. He hit the lights and as the sound grew nearer on the other side of the door, Sam scuffled in the middle of the room in dread. If Dean found him in here, he was dead./div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;"The sound was so close, there was no way it wasn't Dean, and he had about 2 seconds before that door flew open and all hell broke loose. His brother was approaching the only exit, so in his panicked mind, the closet had seemed like the only reasonable place to hide. He shut the closet door just as the bedroom door was opened and he watched through the slants in the closet cover as dark figures swayed in./div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;"Alright, he could do this. At least he could see through enough to not be noticed and if he stayed quiet, he could just wait for Dean to pass out and sneak back to his room./div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;"He was taken aback however, when he realized that Dean was not alone. And his brother wasn't being as subtle as he thought he was, either. He listened as he heard Dean drunkenly stumble into the room accidentally slamming the door behind him. He chuckled goofily as he shushed the door, his hands trailing over what could have only been Castiel. Cas clutched at him for stability, laughing at his boyfriend and mumbling something that Sam couldn't make out. It must have been funny though because Dean let out a barking laugh, which Cas tried to stifle with a hand over his mouth. He could barely make out the silhouette of the two figures as his eyes adjusted to the darkness but he was certain that he saw his brother pull Cas' hand from his mouth before forcing their lips together./div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;"Sam scrunched his face as he listened to the sound of rustling cloths, laughing, and wet lips slickly working together. He glanced through the slants again to see Dean stumbling backward towards the bed, pulling Cas with him. As they drew nearer, Sam could barely make out their mumbled conversation between open mouthed kisses as they both shucked their shoes off. /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;""-shit, no, but don't worry babe." Sam could distinguish as Dean /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;""Your dad would kill me."/div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;""He'll never know you were here. Everyone's asleep. And fuck, you look hot."/div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;"Dean got stuck in the sleeve of his shirt as he pulled it off, giggling to himself as Cas noisily undid his buckle./div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;"Holy shit, he did not want to see this. The panic in Sam's brain had not calmed down and he buried his face in his hands as the sound continued. He could hear the rustling of cloths, the heated breaths of both his brother and his boyfriend now growing frantic. There was a loud creak of what Sam could only guess was the sound of weight being put onto the bed./div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;"He heard a hiss come from Cas as he harshly whispered, "Ow, shit Dean, be careful."/div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;""Sorry, I just can't help myself."/div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;"Dean chuckled deeply, "Well don't take it out on my shoulders."/div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;""Aaaaw, I'm sorry, baby. You don't like my love nips?"/div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;""That was a bite, what are you a vampire?"/div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;"Dean hummed sexually, a tone that Sam wished he could bleach from his brain forever, "No, but I'd sure like to suck something out of you right now."/div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;"Cas chuckled again, letting out a breathy gasp at something that Sam couldn't see. He bit his lip as he listened to the sound of slick moisture working between skin, a noise that he had never heard before./div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;"Sam bounced his leg in anxiety, trying to think of anything other than what was happening just 3 feet from him. It was a few minutes of painful wet sounds for Sam before something forced him to peak between his fingers in what he could only pinpoint as curiosity./div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;"Castiel had let out a pit retching moan and the sight that greeted him when he glanced through the slates sent a bolt of lightning down his spine that ended up some place that it didn't belong./div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;"The room was illuminated by the reys of the moon light, giving Sam enough visibility to see the pale reflecting skin of Castiel, sitting up right on the bed, straddling Dean's lap./div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;"He couldn't see the fine details but Sam was mesmerized as he watched Cas breathing heavily from his mouth, rocking up and down slowly. He couldn't take his eyes away now, his own breath picking up hotly./div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;"His dark hair shadowed his face, but the rest of him looked shiny, as if a layer of sweat had formed over his entire body. He watched as Dean's hands wound up to caress Cas' chest, kneading his flesh as he rocked up into him. /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;"Sam was stunned as Cas let out needy breaths, his form lifting up before coming back down. Cas repeated the action a few times and Sam didn't even mind as much when he heard his brother let out a stifled moan./div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;"Cas increased in speed, Sam now certain that Cas was riding him, something he had only heard of. Cas let out a throaty moan before Dean hushed him, pulling him down for a kiss and halting his movements. They laughed between themselves as Dean rolled them over, "Shhh, baby, you want to wake everyone up?"/div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;""Can't help it, feels so fucking good."/div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;""Christ, yeah it does. You're so fuckin' good, Cas."/div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;"Cas let out a small breathy laugh as he lulled his head to the side, facing the closet door that served as Sam's hiding place. His breath caught in his throat as Cas' mouth fell open in silent pleasure as Dean sucked marks into his neck. He swore Castiel was looking straight at him, his blood running hot. Cas, however, shut his eyes in pleasure as Dean hoisted his leg up and began to rock into him again, his lips never leaving his neck./div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;"Sam was paralyzed. He couldn't move even if he wanted to. Something else was happening to him too, however. He couldn't bring himself to tear his eyes away from the curve of Cas' neck, or the way his face looked slack with tension-free bliss. His lips looked soft and slick from where Sam was and the flutter of his eye lashes were tantalizing. Sam felt a strange tightness of his pants and he tried to shift his position in the closet to relieve the pressure./div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;"He couldn't see his brother's face from here thankfully, as it was still buried in Cas' neck. But he could see the open pale thigh of Cas' leg as it wrapped around the contrasting tan of Dean's hip. The way Cas bit his lip to keep in the sounds he wanted to make was sinful. But not as much as the way he threw his head back in ecstasy, a hand coming up to clutch at Dean's bicep firmly. /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;"His voice sounded wrecked when he whispered, desperate and gravely, "Dean- mmmh, yes. Oh Christ, don't stop. Don't stop."/div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;"He could barely hear his brother over the sound of the bed creaking slightly, the rustle of blankets dancing around through the darkness, "Fuck, Cas, you feel so good- I got you baby, I got you." Their breathing picked up and for a moment, Sam was worried that Mom and Dad would hear the couple, "I ain't gonna last- I'm so close."/div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;"Cas released his brother's bicep and reached his hand in between them, a rapid motion accompanying them. Sam's own breathing was picking up, the smell of sweat and sex filtering in though the door. /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;"Suddenly, Cas threw his head back violently, his entire body tensing as his free hand dug into Dean's hair and forced their lips together. Dean didn't slow down, in fact, he picked up speed as he breathed coarsely through his nose. It was only another minute before Dean let out a sharp whine as he too tensed up, all movement stopping./div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;"The stiffness in Sam's pants didn't let up, the only thing he could focus on as it developed into a light throb. He shut his eyes tight as he tried to sort through what was happening in his head, the sound of the pair making out doing nothing to calm him./div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;"He must have sat in that closet for an hour after the room fell silent, too afraid to move. It was only after he chances a glance at the sound of his brother's light snoring before he shakily slid the door open. He tip toed through the darkness, neither of the sleeping figures stirring as he slid out of Dean's room. Sam tried to be as silent as possible as he made his way back to his room. He didn't dare investigate the hardness that sat between his legs as he battled the thoughts of what he had just witnessed out of his head. He laid awake in his bed, staring blankly up at the ceiling until the sun came up, not a single opinion forming in his mind./div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;"For a while, Sam had a hard time meeting his brothers' eye, always finding an excuse to duck out of the room. He imagined this was what it was like when his friends would embarrassingly tell him about when they walked in on their parents having sex. Yet, something was different about this./div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;"He had only noticed a shift in tone when Cas would come over. Cas had spent a lot of time at their place over the years, even before he and Dean were involved. That just meant more supervision now. Like his brother, Sam found it difficult to meet his eye but when he did, it was hard to look away. Suddenly the piercing blue of his eyes were gazing through him, watching the reruns in his head that began to form. He would excuse himself to do homework but in the end the assignment was turned in late./div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;"He felt it again, a week later when Cas came over to hang out, a humid day forcing the boys inside. Dean had excused himself to take a shower before he and Cas planned to go and grab a bite to eat. That left him alone with Cas and try as he might, Sam couldn't seem to sit still. They had all been in the living room playing video games and after Dean was gone, Cas challenged him to a battle royalé on Street Fighter. After a few rounds Sam had glanced over and caught a glimpse of Cas' sharp hip peaking out from where his shirt rode up. Sam had to remind himself to breathe. Someone up above had to of been looking out for him, however, because Dean chose that moment to re-enter the room, his hair still dripping from the shower. Sam had made a charade of teasing his brother for taking so long because he really had to pee. /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;"He had locked himself in the misty fog of the bathroom for almost 10 minutes, trying to sort out the thoughts that had formed in his head from that one little sliver of exposed skin. It was the first time that he had beat himself up over the unwanted thoughts that formed. Castiel was his brother's boyfriend. How could he possible be thinking about him in any other way that wasn't as a friend?/div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;"Yet, he couldn't help himself any more than he could stop himself from breathing. Suddenly, flashes of pale bare flesh skidded across his vision, what it looked like exposed, what certain parts looked like coated in moonlight and sweat. The look of pure, consuming exctesy taking over every alluring feature of his face.../div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;"It was wrong, it was dirty. What he should have been thinking was, 'oh god, I never want to affiliate my brother and sex ever again'. What he was think, however, was how amazing it must be to see that expression up close. He wondered what his skin must taste like in that state and what his natural smell wafted into./div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;"He had had to splash at least 7 handfuls of cold water from the sink onto his face to get himself to calm down./div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;"The next time however, he wasn't so lucky. It was a late night and the family (plus Cas) had finished dinner a couple of hours ago. They had all curled up in the living room to watch a movie, their parents retiring for the night after the first one. Dean and Cas had moved to the couch and Sam claimed the love seat. They were half way through the second one when Sam felt his eyes stray. Dean and Cas were spooning, laying on their sides. But what Sam could only see, was the way his brother ran calming circles into his boyfriend's thigh. It was an innocent enough gesture but by the way Cas seemed to melt into the touch, Sam suddenly wished that that was him holding on gingerly to the long time neighbor boy./div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;"Things only escalated from there. These thoughts began to work their way into his imagination late at night when he was alone in bed. He began to think of Cas as a person. How kind and considerate he was all the time. He admired his loyalty and passion for life. He found himself grinning at the way Cas tilted his head when he was trying to figure something out. A bright fire lit in him, filling him with warmth when the older man laughed. He found himself becoming hard when he thought of all the ways Cas' sharp tongue would feel against him. He watched how comfortable Cas looked lounging around the house with Dean and him. How casually, yet respectfully he spoke to their parents and how he always seemed to have the words to make things better. He remembers watching the way his back curled beneath his shirt as he walked away. He remembers a lot of things. /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;"And now, here he was, 17 and still ocassionally fantasizing about his brother's boyfriend in the most back-stabbing way possible. It made him feel like shit, like he was scum./div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;" /div
div style="font-family: -apple-system-font; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; line-height: 16px;"However, in the heated moments concealed by the latch of his locked door, all bets were off. Sam had quickly realized that once the inkling of a thought was placed into his head from the moment he woke up, it was all a downward spiral from there. Once he gave into the need to wrap a firm hand around his member, his mind was set free. There, he found no shame in imagining what Cas' gruff voice would sound like panting his name. He could almost feel the flames radiating off of him as Sam wound sink into his wet heat. He pictured the marks he would leave blemishing his skin in an almost painful way. He thought of what it would feel like to just be. /div