AN: Written for annaisadinosaur's The Deepest, Darkest Secrets-A Competition on HPFC.
Character: Theodore Nott.
Prompt: Beauty
Secret: Double Personality (I've missed writing Nott XD)
Italics is Nott talking. Thanks to Caz and Sara for looking this over :D
Ever since he had taken the Dark Mark, something had changed in Theodore Nott. He felt it and he'd known that it would happen; he just didn't expect it to be like this. Of course, he had taken the mark of his own free will. No one had threatened him; he had done it out of love and adoration for the Dark Lord. His long bony fingers touched the mark on his inner left forearm, carefully tracing the skull and the snake without pressing it. He knew full well what was about to come, what he was about to see.
"You are too much of pessimist, Teddy. Lighten up a bit. Drink firewhisky, smoke or even shag Daphne. Hell, you can even do all three at the same time." Nott smirked at him, his voice sounding dark and cruel.
Theodore, who was sitting on his bed inside the dorm that he shared with Malfoy, Zabini, Crabbe and Goyle, looked up at his other self. The darker part of him. The sadistic, cruel, vengeful, psychotic, sinister, creepy part of him who was capable of killing and torturing without remorse. Once you took the mark, your darker side showed up and you either welcomed it with trepidation or with acceptance.
Theodore welcomed it with love.
Licking his lips, he smirked back, agreeing to the choices. But a part of him, the lighter, good and honest part of him didn't want that. Theodore wanted to be with someone else. But she wouldn't be safe. Nott had told him that the best way for him to be a Death Eater without people getting suspicious and without killing the quirky Ravenclaw was to tell Luna that he didn't love her anymore, that they didn't belong together, that they came from different backgrounds even though they were both purebloods.
But she hadn't listened, so Nott had taken control and acted.
The result was that Luna, his sweet, loving, innocent, unique quirky Luna, now hated him. Or that's what he perceived – she didn't exactly say the words, but her actions confirmed his fears. Luna wouldn't talk to him. Hell, not even those dreamy blue eyes of hers looked his way. It had happened last year at the Halloween Ball during his fifth year at Hogwarts. And ever since then, Luna had been seen with Potter instead.
"Forget about that loony. You ha – " Nott was interrupted by Theodore.
"Don't call her that," Theodore hissed, looking up at Nott. His darker self looked exactly like him – the same brown messy hair, hollowed cheeks, mature emerald eyes, tall and weedy frame, long bony fingers, and various scars decorating his body. His other self even bore the nasty scar that he had gotten when he'd joined the Dark Lord. The scar started next to his nose and extended all the way to the tip of his mouth.
But Nott – that was the name he'd given his other self – stood straight with arrogance, power, grace and something so terribly dangerous. He was so different from Theodore, who never stood up straight, never looked arrogant. Theo was always seen hunching as if he was hiding himself, making him shorter from his 6' 2" height; he would become a small ball, so that no one could see him. Nott was the polar opposite of Theodore. Nott killed for ecstasy while Theodore was locked up inside, looking out from behind Nott's green eyes. For Theo, that was brilliant! He didn't have to feel remorse, because it wasn't exactly him doing these things – it was the dark side of him that was responsible.
His father had told him from a very young age that the Dark Mark brought wonders to you, that it fixed everything wrong in yourself as a person and perfected it. You became a god – the ones that the muggles talked about: Zeus, Hermes, Aphrodite and more. But the Dark Lord was Zeus and they, the Death Eaters, were the inferior gods, the ones with a lower rank, but were as perfect as can be. And Theodore was finally perfect.
…
His green bed covers were on the floor in disarray and their bodies were entwined. Blood stained his body, but Daphne was bloodier. Nott didn't like being tortured; that was a thing he hated and despised. So when he was in control, he liked to hurt and torture others. And Daphne was the perfect girl for that.
He was only interested in having fast, hard sex. Hurting her, making her bleed for him. Nott knew that Greengrass was a masochist; she loved it when he took control and made her hurt while bringing pleasure at the same time. His lips were on her neck, licking the wound he had made, as he entered her roughly, his long hands tightening on her thigh, hard enough to bruise. Her moans were music to his ears; her cries of pleasure and pain made the best notes. He kept his eyes on Daphne.
Nott's green eyes looked dark and crazed. His mouth bit and licked, making his scar even more pronounced. His dark brown hair was more tangled than usual, thanks to Greengrass' hands pulling at it. He looked like an animal, acting on instinct – technically, he was.
Meanwhile, Nott was in control and Theodore was inside, looking out with those same eyes. And instead of enjoying the pleasure that was coursing inside him, he wanted to vomit out of disgust from what he was doing, but he couldn't stop himself – he wouldn't stop Nott. Because, somehow deep inside himself, he liked doing this, hurting Daphne, making her feel low. Hurting her, just like they hurt him. His emerald eyes blazed in euphoria as his body tightened. His mouth went to her jaw, not wanting to kiss her, but wanting to touch something. His scar-covered hands clenched her hips and he buried himself in her more deeply. The groans that came out of his mouth were muffled by Nott biting Daphne's neck. And he would have forced more moans out of Daphne if it weren't for Malfoy interrupting them.
"Ugh, really, Nott? Bloody Greengrass?" Draco hissed in disgust.
The Greengrass sisters weren't a loving pair; they were despised even among their housemates. Nott frowned and slowly separated himself from Daphne. With a wave of his wand, the bloodstains disappeared and the bite he had delivered faded.
"Get dressed," Nott told her, pushing her away, blocking his face from the kiss that was aimed his way. Nott dressed himself quickly and, glancing briefly at Draco who was frowning in disgust, he looked back at Daphne who was sitting on the bed. "Well what the bloody hell are you waiting for? Leave," he said darkly, making her blue eyes widen in slight fear. She quickly stood up and left the dorm.
"Merlin, Nott, I thought you had better taste than that," his fellow Death Eater said.
Sighing, Nott stood up and fixed his school shirt, taking time to cover his left arm. There was only one reason for Malfoy to interrupt him. Everybody knew that he hated being interrupted – especially when he was with Greengrass. "The toad didn't work then," Theodore said, going to his trunk and opening it.
Draco nodded. "It died – so did the raven. No living creature can go through that bloody cabinet."
Theodore took out a book and began to skim it. "Well I guess I'll have to experiment with that new spell I learned…"
Draco raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything else. He needed all the help he could get. He was tired and stressed and time was running out.
…
Theodore starting making his way to the dungeons. He had helped Draco with the task that the Dark Lord had given him. In a way, Theodore was thankful that he didn't have to kill the old loon; he quite respected Dumbledore because the headmaster was someone who surprised him. Few people could surprise the serious Theodore Nott.
"You know, I sometimes feel sorry for myself for being you," Nott said disdainfully. Theodore groaned at hearing his other self talk. He liked quiet and peace and Nott was the opposite of that. "You'd think that after torturing and killing muggles and shagging a variety of girls, you Teddy would change and become more like me. But you're still the same boring boy."
Theodore pinched himself and went to the bathroom. He washed his face with freezing cold water, trying to drown Nott, to make him stop talking.
"Teddy, you're a smart kid, but you're as dumb as a Hufflepuff if you think that you can get rid of me."
Theo bit his tongue. Nott was right; he could never get rid of him. The only way he could was to die and, well, he was too selfish to kill himself.
"Just calm down and let me take control of this, Theodore. I can make you feel better and you won't have to worry about the rest of this dragon dung when I'm in charge. The Lord wouldn't want a slip, more so from us. We are the most faithful and best young Death Eater he has. We cannot bring shame to his name," Nott reminded him, making Theodore nod.
He couldn't bring shame to his Lord, especially after all the years of "training" that his father had given him; he had the scars and bruises to show that he was the best Death Eater around. He was born and raised for this. He couldn't fail the Dark Lord now. Theodore had to let Nott take control, but it was horrible and bloody torture when it happened. It made him feel empty and hollow and the only emotions that coursed inside his body were hatred and disgust.
Theodore looked up and saw himself in the mirror. He frowned. He looked so much like his father; the only difference was his eyes, which were green like his mother's. The rest of him – his nose, jaw, face, even his posture and body that was now taking shape – was from his bastard of a father, old Abelard Nott.
A memory surfaced.
Theo was nine years old and it was the anniversary of his mother's death. Two horrible years later and the "training" had worsened. He was crying in the bathroom, not wanting to go out and look at his father. Theodore berated himself for the tears.
The door flew open. Abelard Nott came in and sneered at him. "You're just a weak, small boy," he hissed at his son, his voice filled with venom. His hand caught Theodore's left arm before the boy could run away. Abelard pushed him to the mirror. "Tears are the last thing the Dark Lord wants, boy. He would discard you like a piece of shit if he saw you right now."
The young Theodore trembled in fear; he didn't want to be discarded. He wanted to disappear and get away from here, to leave this dark place, but most of all he wanted to get rid of this face he had – it was too much like his father's.
Abelard cackled, already knowing what his son thought. "This face – " His finger poked his son's cheek, making Theo look back into the mirror. " – will always be mine. Every time you see yourself in the mirror, you will see me in it. A Nott. You cannot escape your fate, boy."
And his fate was here; his destiny was happening at this moment. He looked exactly like the man that he hated with all his heart and, worst of all, he was becoming like his father.
Theodore chuckled at the irony of it. Looking at himself in the mirror, he saw sadness and happiness at the same time. He had wanted this, hadn't he? But why was he hurting? Why was he depressed and alone? Nott had told him that everything was going to be perfect, that people would be with him and fear him and love him for what he was doing. But the only person that he actually cared for, even loved, wasn't here with him because she hated him for what he was, for what he was becoming.
"But that's the beauty of it. In the end, you will know that you don't need Luna or your mother or friends to be the greatest Death Eater, to honor our Dark Lord. Working together, we will become the greatest follower that the world has ever seen." Nott was standing next to him; his hand full of scars was touching his shoulder. "Trust me, Teddy, with me everything will be fine. We'll even make Abelard fear you. And he'll regret the day that he hurt you."
Theodore looked at his other self, his other personality, his darker, sadistic, cruel side. He nodded slowly, agreeing and trusting Nott. Trusting himself.
"And in the end you will have Luna again. Our Lord will give her to you."
Theo's hand reached out, fingers spread, pointing at Nott. "I'll be the best Death Eater around, even better than Bellatrix Lestrange," he whispered, making Nott smile at the words. Red sparks came out of his fingertips, going forward to Nott and pulling him into Theodore's body. They became one, melting their personalities together, combining and perfecting Theodore Nott.
He had to admit that the old bastard was right. He would become a god that the people would fear and admire.
AN: Ooh so what do you think? Was it good enough? Please review, it makes me happy, it really does.
