She was seventeen when she had lost her best friend. He had died in a car crash that involved her and another driver. She was the only one that lived and she knew that it wasn't supposed to be that way. Andrew had been sitting in the passenger seat of her mustang, chatting away about this girl that he had seen at the mall. Of course she was jealous. Any girl that was in her position would be. Yes, Andrew was her best friend but that didn't stop her from developing feelings for him. And the fact that he was talking about a different girl just crossed the line a little too far. Sure the girl was beautiful if you were into the 'dumb-blond' look. The almost white hair and those cruel blue eyes. Jess hated her with a passion and, although it's not right, she wished she would just die and never come back. Cruel, yes. But Jess wanted her best friend to focus on her instead.
As Andrew kept babbling on, Jess was lost in her thoughts and didn't see the other car until it was too late. It all happened so fast. One second, Jess was deciding how to kill the dumb blond and the next, her car had flipped over the edge of the cliff and tumbled until it hit a tree and snapped in two.
Her legs were crushed from the impact and she had several broken bones, but she didn't care about that. She cared about Andrew, and when she looked over to the passenger seat, her heart broke.
He was beyond repair. His arms were twisted and mangled, his legs broken in the same condition. But she couldn't look at his face, pure agony ripped through her. His head was facing her and glass was jammed into every piece of skin they could find. He was definitely beyond repair, beyond life. He was dead.
She moved and screamed as the reality of the state she was in hit her. Broken bones, sprains, fractures, the whole nine yards. She needed help and she needed it now. She tried to move again and couldn't from the pain. That's when she saw black.
When she woke, she was in an ambulance. Sirens were blaring, lights blazing, all creating a clear path down the road straight to the hospital. She looked around, four men and one woman were sitting on the seats, all dressed in white. Three of them were busy trying to set her broken legs and arms so they could heal properly. The other two were busy at another stretcher.
Jess kept repeating "No, no, no, no. It's all my fault Andrew. I'm so sorry." Andrew lay there and Jess noticed something horrible. His chest wasn't moving. In fact a black body bag was being zipped over him. She screamed over and over as the woman tried to calm her down. Something sharp stabbed her in the arm and she passed out for a second time.
The room was still white three months later as she lay in bed, starring out the window. Her father had fallen asleep in the chair next to her and her mother had gone to get some food from Denny's. She probably shouldn't be eating this seeing as her body was still trying to heal, but she didn't care. Her life was ripped from her all because she was distracted that one autumn day. And because of her carelessness and selfishness she had lost the one thing she had been trying to protect. Andrew.
The thought of him brought tears to her eyes. His funeral was set to be the next day and her mother had ordered Jess's older sister, Adriana, to find a nice dress for Jess to wear. Jess didn't want to go, but her father insisted that she should, saying it would bring some closure to both families. And so Jess thought long and hard about what she would say.
The next day came too quickly and Adriana helped Jess get ready. Her hair hurt from the bobby pins and hairspray but her sister did make it look nice. Then she got into her silver dress. It had beautiful black lace draped over it and she wondered how much her sister paid for it. Nevertheless, this was the one and only time Jess would wear it. Her father helped her into her wheel chair, then the car, and they sped off to the cemetery.
So many people were dressed in black. Family, friends from school, even people from the hospital and diner that Andrew and Jess knew. Jess had kept her head down, trying not to cry and make a scene. This was just too much, too much for everyone. She couldn't look at anyone, it was her fault that everyone was standing here in the first place. If only she wasn't so selfish. If only.
The priest had said what he needed to and Adriana wheeled Jess to the front where the priest had previously stood. Jess waited for her sister to go back to their family before speaking, the whole time keeping her head down. She waited a good minute before drawing in a shaky breath and speaking to everyone and Andrew.
"Andrew, my best friend. You were always there for me, for everyone. You always got both of us out of sticky situations. Like that one time at the science fair when the fake lava got stuck in the volcano and you tried to unclog it. It didn't work and the whole thing exploded covering us in sticky sugar. But, I can't believe that you're gone." She sighed and frowned. "And it's all my fault, I'm so sorry. The weather man had said it would be a bad day." Jess smiled. "I remember when we were six and you had ran over stuffed bunny with your bike and you accidentally popped her head off. I was horrified and kept calling you names. But, you still took her home and tried to fix her with glue and string. And even though she still looked horrible, she was as good as new to me only because you had tried to fix your mistake." She raised her head to look at the marble coffin, a single tear rolling down her face. "Andrew, I never told you but, you were my best friend and you made everyone around you happy. You make someone's bad day turn into the greatest day of their lives. And I would know because you did that for me too many times to count. I'm greatful to have known you for the time I did, I only wish that it could have lasted longer than it did. Please rest in peace Andrew, we all love you."
And with that she turned her wheelchair around and headed towards the nearest tree while the men lowered the coffin into the ground. Her family caught up with her and they left for the hospital again.
Ten years later on October 16, Jess came back to Andrews' grave. Her wheelchair dug into the muddy ground as she rolled herself up in front of the marble stone. A vase of Lily's were held between numb fingers as she silently cried into them. A clap of thunder woke her out of her trance and she leaned forward to clear the mud and dust off the stone.
Fat drops of rain began falling on her when she laid the flowers down. She looked skyward and saw the dark clouds. Sighing heavily, she settled in her wheel chair. "Andrew, I'm so sorry. I was jealous of you talking about that girl, and I thought you were more interested in her than me. I was caught up in my thoughts and didn't see that car. I'm so, so sorry. It was my fault. Truth be told, I loved you. I still do Andrew. I don't think I can love anyone else. Ever."
And with that she turned away and headed back towards her sisters' car.
