We'll Make It
Ch.1 God Gave Me You
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. I don't own the song used in this chapter either.
A/n: The much(or maybe just in my head) anticipated sequel to Take My Hand. Oh and I now have a Beta. Much thanks to icebabesfire for making sure I don't drive everyone insane with mistakes.
Get up.
Stretch.
Put feet on floor.
Try not to trip on best friend.
Make way to bathroom.
Turn on hot water.
Step into shower.
I've been a walking heartache
I've made a mess of me
The person that I've been lately
Ain't who I wanna be
I know this feeling; the terrible feeling that something was wrong. I had let myself hope. I had let him hope that things would be different this time.
The knock on the door is loud and quick. He has no reason to knock as we share this bedroom. I understand though. I have missed my last class. And we both know the only reason I would miss a single class. I don't answer him. I can't find my voice. He opens the door gently and shuts it behind him as he walks in.
I am a curled up mess on the floor. My resolve hadn't even lasted to the bed. He lifts me with ease and places me gently on the bed.
"Ginny." It's barely a whisper.
"No more." My voice is weak and cracks.
"No more." He agrees kneeling down to look me in the eyes. His are filled with tears and soon they are spilling over like mine.
Together we cry.
We cry all that night.
And we cry as we tell our families.
And we cry as we spend an afternoon at the healer's office.
Step out of shower.
Dry hair.
Wrap self in warm towel.
Walk back to bedroom.
Wake best friend.
But you stay here right beside me
And watch as the storm blows through
And I need you
"Pansy's pregnant." I drop my school books on the kitchen table in our small apartment.
"I know, Blaise told me." He is walking on eggshells. I could sense it. It has only been about six weeks since the miscarriage.
"I'm happy for her." I take a step closer to him and he stands from his seat at the table.
"But?" He takes a step towards me in return.
"It hurts." I crash into his chest and let the tears fall.
"I know."
Put on ridiculous lingerie.
Make note to never let friend's pick out anything again.
Listen as people around house prepare.
Smile when his voice carries up the stairs.
Cause God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
And for when I think I lost my way
There are no words here left to say, it's true
God gave me you
Gave me you
"It's a boy!" Blaise smiles triumphantly and I plaster on my happy face.
"Congratulations" He smiles and listens intently as his best friend describes the tiny infant we can hear wailing even though Pansy's room is down the hall.
I hate this place. And all I want to do is run. But I can't. In two weeks' time, I'll be working here. And I'll be forced to let go of the pain and jealously or be consumed by it again. No, it's time to let go.
I stand and mentally give myself a slap to get it together. Then I follow my friend's to go and congratulate my friend's on their new baby.
Sit still while sister-in-law applies makeup.
Sit still while friend braids hair into an intricate up do.
Breathe deeply and calm nerves while group of girls in the room get themselves ready.
There's more here than what we're seeing
A divine conspiracy
That you, an angel lovely
Could somehow fall for me
You'll always be love's great martyr
And I'll be the flattered fool
And I need you
"You said this couldn't happen. You put her on the best birth control money can buy!" His voice is angry and I feel bad for Healer Smith who looks like he may pass out. This will probably be the last time we come to his office. I want to be sympathetic but after all this is his fault.
"I know. It shouldn't have happened. It must be her heritage. The Weasley family is known for being extremely fertile. For all we know, this pregnancy may be viable. You should, perhaps, calm down a bit and have some hope. She hasn't had a miscarriage." The healer is visibly shaking and at this point is saying whatever he can think of to get us to leave.
"Yet" He snarls taking my hand and leading me out of the office slamming the door behind him.
"You were, perhaps, a bit over the top in there." I whisper as we step out into the chilly afternoon. January had been especially cold this year.
"I'm sorry. I want to believe. I want it to be different this time. But then again I'm afraid to hope. I'm afraid of letting myself believe again. "He wraps an arm around my waist protectively. Across the street an elderly couple smiles at us. I hope we can be like them someday; still madly in love after decades together.
"I know. We'll just have to wait and see. I guess I should find a new healer now." I smile up at him. We both know what waiting and seeing will bring. It's just the inevitable coming round again. "Let's not tell anyone this time."
"Alright love." He kisses the top of my head and we make the short walk back to our flat together.
Smile as the dress is pulled out of the closet.
It belonged to my mother.
It is simple but elegant.
It is strapless and white with a lace overlay.
I love it.
It is perfect.
God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
And for when I think I lost my way
There are no words here left to say, it's true
God gave me you
I throw the vase and it hits the wall and shatters. I slide down until I'm all curled up in a ball. He walks through the door and spots the mess.
"No" His voice is sad. I know why. We had agreed to not be hopeful. We had agreed to not believe. And then weeks began to pass. And yet nothing happened. Then today, at ten weeks, the bleeding started. I was at work so I just asked a friend to do a quick exam. And my fears are confirmed.
"We knew" I cry and he crosses the room to come sit next to me. "We knew and yet when it didn't happen after a little while we just." It wasn't even a full sentence or thought. But he knew what I was getting at.
"Now what do we do?" He asks. I lean into his chest and close my eyes.
"I don't know."
I slip it on.
It fits perfectly.
Everyone in the room smiles and offers a compliment.
I slide my feet into my shoes.
They aren't even heels.
They are pure white soft ballet flats.
On heels, I will sink in the grass outside.
On heels, I may stumble and fall.
On flat shoes, I am safe.
On my own I'm only
Half of what I could be
I can't do without you
We are stitched together
And what love has tethered
I pray we never undo
"I don't see why you are so angry!" I shout.
"Why? You are taking away our ability to ever have children! Why wouldn't I be angry?" He slams his fist down on the counter and I cringe.
"I didn't take that away from you. Bickman took that from us. Or do you not remember? How many more times do you want me to go through this? How many more times do you want to go through this?" I don't understand how he can't understand.
"We just need to prevent it for now. Maybe in a few years there will be a treatment or something. Please, I don't think this is the right thing to do now." He is begging now. But I know better than he does. I work in this field. There will never be a way to fix what was done to me and I explain this to him. But he just stands there and I'm sure he is shaking in anger.
"I've made up my mind. I am going to go through with this. I just wish you could support me." I plead my case one last time before turning and going to our bedroom.
I wait for him to follow me.
I wait for a long time. But he doesn't come.
I wait until I am exhausted and then I fall asleep alone.
And now it's time.
I can see everyone in their seats out the window.
I stand in the kitchen with my father.
I can see tears beginning to gather in his eyes.
He smiles down at me as the music begins to play.
I wrap my hand around his arms.
I take a deep breath and try not to cry.
He kisses me on the forehead.
And then he opens the door and we step outside.
It's time.
Cause God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt.
God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
And for when I think I lost my way
There are no words here left to say, it's true
God gave me you, gave me you.
He gave me you.
"Forgive me, love" He whispers. We are sitting on a bench in the park.
"I have already forgiven you about a thousand times." I say. He had already apologized for our fight several times since that night.
"I know. It's just that our wedding is in a week and I don't want us to have any unresolved issues." He holds my hand in his and I lay my head down on his shoulders.
"Nothing is unresolved. In a week we will be married and five days after that is the procedure." We never really talk about it. We hadn't really discussed it since we had made up and then spoken to the healer to make the arrangements. And I knew he wasn't going to talk about it now.
"Alright then." He kissed the top of my head. "Are you ready for our wedding?"
"I feel like I've been waiting a lifetime to be Mrs. Draco Malfoy."
"I know the feeling, love"
I say a silent prayer. Even though I know that with my shoes, I shouldn't trip, I'm still afraid I will. And if I did my father would catch me. My nerves make me want to throw up. Or maybe I'm getting sick. It doesn't matter. Because regardless of whether I throw up or trip on my way down the aisle, he will be waiting at the end.
I look up for the first time as we reach the back of the crowd. The first few rows are filled with familiar faces. My mom stands with tears in her eyes and a sleeping baby in her arms. I figure it is probably Fred's baby girl Amanda. His ex-girlfriend had just up and left in the middle of the night shortly after the baby was born. Fred had taken to being a single father quite well but every now and again our mom would step in when he seemed overwhelmed. Bill and Fleur both gave me and encouraging smile. Charlie and Anna each are holding one of their newly adopted daughter's hands. Her name is Clarissa and she even beams with happiness though I doubt she has managed to learn all of our names yet. Percy and his wife both smile though I know they disapprove of my choice in groom. Fred and George are standing together and for a moment I am afraid they are planning a prank. But Fred catches a glimpse of his sleeping daughter and shakes his head at George who just shrugs and smiles. Ron has his arms wrapped protectively around Hermione and her growing pregnant belly. The jealously twinges for a moment but my joy at the day allows me overcome it.
Across the aisle, Blaise is bouncing baby Tristan in his arms while Pansy wipes the happy tears out of her eyes. Next to them I'm surprised to see Harry but I know he will be wherever Azlyn is. And sure enough she has her arms wrapped around him not even trying to stop the tears falling from her eyes.
We've reached the end of the aisle and for the first time I look up at him. I've never seen him happier and I know that we are ready for this.
The officiator is speaking but I only catch bits and pieces. All we care about in this moment is each other. And when Draco speaks, I am caught off guard because I haven't even realized how much time has passed.
"I do" A single tear rolls down his cheek and I smile. This is how I have pictured this moment for months. Every bit of stress, loss, and hurt has led us to here. I am certain, right here and now that I will be happy. I know where I belong. So when my turn comes to speak, I have no doubt.
"I do" It's done. We are married. Nothing could ruin this day.
The priest makes it official and we kiss quickly. We have never been ones for huge displays of public affection but no one doubts the depth of our love. I don't even realize that I am crying until he gently wipes a tear away with his thumb.
We turn and face the crowd. Everyone is cheering in a mix of laughter and tears. We make our way back into the house to spend only a few moments alone. Outside, I know everyone is busy. In only minutes, the lovely arch, aisle and chairs will disappear to be replaced with a tent to keep away the sun as we party. A celebration will begin, that will probably carry on until after dark.
"We're married." Draco grins. I am unsure if I have ever seen him this happy before.
"I know. You look rather handsome today Mr. Malfoy." I keep one hand in his. I'm sure that I have never been this happy before.
"You look quite beautiful yourself Mrs. Malfoy." It sounds so strange to be Mrs. Anything. But I will definitely get used to it.
Even though it feels like it has only been a minute and it may have only been that long, we are interrupted by Azlyn who opens the door and peaks in at us.
"It's time. Let's go."
The party goes on after dark, as I expected. And by the time we apparate away, it is nearing midnight.
The beach house we are staying at is secluded. There is no city noise like in our apartment, only the ocean.
And for a few days it is just me, him and the ocean. We lose ourselves in each other and forget about the world waiting for us when we get home.
Here we are just the newly married Draco and Ginevra Malfoy. I couldn't be happier.
