Title: Bella's Demands
Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephanie Meyer. I am merely borrowing the characters.
Summary: In response to Edward's rules and demands, Bella feels it's only fair she gets to influence his behaviour as well. This is a sequel to The Ultimate Survival Guide.
Bella's Demands
1. Do not inflict damage on my car
a. This includes driving it
- Your driving my truck would definitely mean its death, what with your habit of crossing the speed limit at every chance you get.
b. It also includes the removal of vital parts
- I know I'm not able to physically hurt you, but if you ever break down my car again (I don't care how good you claim your intentions were) I will at least try.
Or have Emmett throw your piano out of the window.
2. You are not to commit suicide
I will accept no excuses.
- If the idea of living without me frightens you so much, you are going to have to either suck it up - or change me.
The following actions will lead to certain death, and are therefore prohibited:
a. visiting the Volturi
b. going out into the sunlight in front of a crowd
c. jumping in front of a train
- I'm just curious: would that mean the end of you, the train, or both?
3. Do not go drinking people's blood
a. Unlimited self-control, remember?
- So help me, but I'd be jealous. The idea of you being able to resist my blood, but giving in when it comes to someone else's, makes me want to drink their blood myself.
4. Killing Jacob is never an option
a. Furthermore, inflicting damage is only allowed with my permission
- If he kisses me again, I might just grant it to you.
b. Also, don't call him dog or mongrel
- He has a name. A nice one.
5. You are not to dye your hair
6. You are not to go hunting on your own
- Grizzlies are big and strong - and I'm quite fond of you, too.
7. Do not cross the speed-limits
a. Driving a car requires patience and self-control
- If you can't help yourself, you could always go for a run
b. Charlie would jump at every opportunity he gets to send you off to prison
8. Stay away from my belongings
- I've forgiven you for leaving me, but I will never forgive you for erasing all the reminders I had of you.
a. My car stereo is the exception to the rule. That you can have.
9. Don't get mad at your family for wanting my blood
a. It would be pointless.
b. It would be pointless.
c. Oh yeah, it would be pointless.
10. You are not to get burned
- I know that seems relatively easy, but trust me… accidents do happen. I should know.
a. Don't go to the sauna, just in case.
b. Stay away from me when I'm cooking.
c. Don't have Alice make me a birthday cake with candles.
- In fact, I don't want her making me a birthday cake at all.
TBC…
