A/N: Ok…this is gonna be a oneshot. Felt like I had to do one, what with the overflowing Gwevin fics around here! R&R, guys!
Little Secrets
"Gwen…"
"Hmm?"
"Gwen…"
"Yeah…I'm listening."
"Gwen…"
"Yes, Ben…what's it?"
"Gwen…"
"Aarrrgghhhh!" cried out Gwen, slamming down the book she was reading. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"Nothing…I…I…" Ben bit his lip. What was he trying to do, anyway? It was not like he had anything special to say to Gwen. It was just that he wanted to draw her attention, and…like…talk to her, and he didn't know of any other technique in which he could get Gwen to look at him, except for irritating her in some way or the other. But he very well couldn't say that to Gwen.
"Nothing?" said Gwen, glaring at her cousin. "You distracted me just for the heck of it? I swear, Ben Tennyson—"
"No…don't," said Ben hurriedly. "I didn't want you to get all mad, Gwen. I just…I just…"
"You just what?" asked Gwen, exasperated by now. What exactly did Ben have on his mind?
"Uh…nothing...forget it…"
With a sigh, Ben got up, and walked towards their bunk beds. He drew the curtains across. There was a slight shuffling noise, and then silence…
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Gwen put down the book she was reading, and stared distantly towards where Ben had drawn the curtains…separating him from the rest of the RV…separating him from her. She didn't know why she put it that way, but it felt strangely logical. Ben had departed with a 'uh…nothing…forget it', but had taken all her steadiness away with him. Leave alone the book; Gwen could hardly sit still where she was. Every impulse within her told her to go to Ben, and ask him what he had wanted to talk over with her. She couldn't forget how imploringly Ben had been gazing at her when she had looked up at him, and – and – shouted at him. A small sheepish smile worked up at the corners of Gwen's lips. Maybe she should not have yelled at him like that, but what was she to do anyway? He'd been calling his name since forever, and she'd thought he had been doing that just to distract her – so she'd shouted at him. But considering the way he had walked off, he probably had something more than plain mischief on his mind.
What could he have wanted to tell her? What did she want to hear? She didn't know… or…maybe she did. Was it time she made a clean breast of her feelings – at least to herself? Gwen nervously licked her lips. The biggest confession she needed to make – to her own self…the rest could be taken into account later – was that she liked Ben. In fact, she liked him a lot. When they'd started out at the beginning of the summer, she was sure she'd have him on his hate-list, and that he would remain there as number one for the rest of her life. But she didn't know when, where, and how things began to change. First there'd been the Joel and Camille wedding disaster, though it had been less of a disaster, and more of a pleasure for her. The reason? Ben. She would never forget their impromptu dance session in the RV. True, teaching dance to an amateur like Ben hadn't been easy, but she'd loved it. The feeling of having him so close to her…their hands clasped together, fingers interlaced…eyes locked… A little shiver of ecstasy ran down her spine.
And then there had been her near brush with death on the planet of Xenon. If not for Gluto, she'd have been dead by now. The experience had been terrifying, but the outcome of it was something she had received pure bliss from. The whole adventure would have been only half as wonderful had not she shared with her cousin that close physical proximity, when he'd discovered that she was still alive, and had not died while saving him. That one embrace had changed everything for her. She had wanted to hold him close to her forever…and not let go. But the urgency of the situation had forced her to let go of him, however reluctantly.
And after all these days, even if the two still bickered, their relationship was not even slightly close to what it had been at the beginning of the summer. Even though Gwen didn't know how Ben felt about it all, this was one thing she was sure of. She liked Ben a lot…a lot than she could ever have imagined… She loved him…
A slight shuffling noise from behind the curtains drew her out of her reverie. Was Ben still awake, then? Another shuffling noise confirmed that he was. But Ben never shuffled about in bed like this. An immediate sixth sense told Gwen that something was troubling him. And the least that she could do was help him out.
Taking a deep breath, Gwen stood up, and began walking towards the bunk beds…
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"Uh…nothing…forget it…"
Ben got up, drew the curtains to their bunk beds, and threw himself back on Gwen's bunk – the fact slipping out of his mind that the bunk was not his. He tossed and turned over a bit, and after finding a comfortable position, slowly closed his eyes. But sleep was something that evaded him. Instead, he found himself confronted with a deluge of perplexing thoughts…thoughts that mainly concerned one person – Gwen. When he had walked away from Gwen, just a few minutes ago, he had been fervently wishing that Gwen would call him back, say something…just do anything to stop him from leaving. But she hadn't done anything. Just stared at his back, probably. Or gone back to the book she had been reading. He gave a small sigh. He didn't know why it was Gwen who had temporarily occupied the forefront of his mind. But he knew one thing. He loved Gwen – as something more than just his cousin…
The entire summer had been superb, but would it have been the same degree of superb, had Gwen not been there with him? He'd spent some marvelous moments with Gwen… moments that he would cherish forever. And if not anything, he owed her his life. In Xenon, had Gwen not saved him from those vicious Floraunas…He gave a little shudder, thinking of what might have happened otherwise. Gwen had put her own life in danger just to save him. At that time, he'd thought that Gwen had died. But when he'd seen her later, alive and breathing, and helping him out once more, he couldn't help shedding a tear. Oblivious to the situation, he'd rushed forward to hold her in his arms, to feel her body close to his… And to his surprise, Gwen too had instantaneously put her arms around him. They'd stayed like that for what had seemed eternity to him…and then he'd had to pull away. Even though he was nowhere near Gwen where intelligence was concerned, he still had some common sense. Tetrax would have certainly found it very odd if Ben had clung to Gwen, when the very existence of the universe was at stake. So he'd been forced to leave her. But those few moments were the ones he held very close to his heart…he'd never let them go…
Ben turned over on his side, making a slight shuffling noise. Apparently, his current position didn't quite satisfy him, so he turned over on his other side, facing the drawn curtains. He really had no reason for drawing the curtains… It was not like he was undressed or something. He was fully dressed – he just had his shoes and socks off. So then why had he drawn the curtains? Like so many other things, this was another thing he didn't have the answer to. The only answer that he had – not taking into account the question – was that he loved Gwen…
Suddenly he heard footsteps. Who was coming to see him now? Surely it wouldn't be Gwen? Nah…he told himself. Why would Gwen come to see him after all this time? If she'd wanted, she could have stopped him right on his way back…but now? No way. It must be Grandpa, back from his evening walk. Not bothering to sit up, he closed his eyes, waiting for Grandpa to call out his name…
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With a quick yank, Gwen had the curtains drawn back. "Ben?" she called out instantly.
"Gwen?" Ben quickly opened his eyes at the sound of her voice. He hurriedly sat up. "I wasn't expecting you…um…and…" Why had Gwen come to him? And what did she have to tell to him? And then it suddenly struck him. "Oh…I'm sorry. This is your bunk…and I should be off…I'm sorry…"
Gwen shook her head softly and smiled. The smile sent a torrent of thoughts whirling into Ben's mind. Gwen was NOT here to admonish him for having slept on her bunk? Then why was she here?
He stared blankly at Gwen as she slowly sat down beside him, her arms resting on the bunk on either side of her. Then she looked up at him – directly into his eyes.
Ben felt a blush rising to his cheeks. He quickly broke the gaze and looked down. He couldn't bear looking at her anymore. He felt that if he stared into those eyes anymore, he'd break down right there, and confess everything to Gwen there itself. But the warm feeling of Gwen's hand on his shoulder made him jerk his head up in surprise…and he found himself staring into those emerald eyes once again.
"Ben…" said Gwen softly. "No – don't look down…it's
just me. I want you to tell me what's wrong."
"Wro –
wrong?" stammered Ben, blushing like crazy. "Who told something
was wrong?"
Gwen moved her hand from his shoulder and brought it down to Ben's hand. She wrapped her hand around Ben's, and gave it a little squeeze.
But Ben's reaction wasn't one she had quite anticipated. As Gwen softly squeezed Ben's hand, Ben slowly interlaced his fingers with hers – and squeezed her hand back.
Gwen's eyes widened a bit, but she didn't draw her hand away. Nor did she break the steady gaze she held with her cousin. She felt her cheeks heating up, and she didn't need to sweat it out to know that it was Ben's touch that was responsible for it.
"Um…" Gwen began, but didn't know what to say next. "I…I…uh…I heard you…um…tossing and turning over…so…like…I thought that something was troubling you…so… I just came to ask you…"
Ben didn't say anything. He just silently grasped the fact that Gwen had come to him – just to ask him whether he was all right or not. But what should he answer? His mind was a whirlpool of fleeting emotions and thoughts, and he knew he wouldn't get much help from it. But what was he to do then?
"Are you okay?" asked Gwen, seeing that Ben was still silent. She wondered what he was thinking of. He had interlaced his fingers with hers…but what was that supposed to indicate? If something was genuinely troubling Ben, then she would do all she could to help him out. But in spite of her main aim being that of helping Ben out, she couldn't ignore the fact that she was madly in love with him, and having their fingers laced together didn't quite make matters easier for her…
"Gwen…" began Ben, softly. He'd made up his mind. He would tell Gwen his true feelings. He didn't know what consequences this could bring, but he felt like he couldn't keep it all bottled up anymore. Yes, he had made up his mind. But making up your mind, and actually carrying it out…there's a whole lot of difference between the two. And Ben simply had no idea how he'd make it all known to Gwen.
"Gwen…" he began once again, and stopped. How on earth was he to tell her that he loved her? True, Gwen had not flinched when he'd clasped her hand, but he very well couldn't make assumptions based on that. For all he knew, she might have been doing that just to comfort him. He sighed at his own indecisiveness.
Gwen shook her head, and smiled reassuringly. She brought her other free hand up, and rested it on Ben's shoulder. "It's ok," she said softly. "You can tell me. Whatever it might be. Physical, emotional…anything."
In spite of himself, Ben smiled. "Physical? I'm afraid, being a girl, that's not quite possible for you, Gwen."
"So it's physical, then?" Gwen could feel herself getting hotter and hotter. Would she end up lecturing Ben on the topic of 'physical problems'?
The smile began to fade from Ben's face. "No, it's not," he said, "It's…it's…"
Gwen slowly withdrew her hand from Ben's clasp. She wiped the sweat that had formed on her palms, as a result of their prolonged contact; and then, with both her hands, she gently cupped Ben's face. "Ben, tell me what's wrong. I'll help you out. 'Kay?"
Ben brought his hands up and placed them over Gwen's hands. "Gwen, it's just that I…I…"
"Yes…you what?"
"I…I've wanted to tell this to you for quite some time…. and…it's…it's…I…" Ben didn't know how to phrase it. Tell her straight out that he was in love with her? Let it all out gradually? Or…what?
Gwen sighed softly. She didn't know why Ben was hesitating so much. It was not something physical, so there was no chance of him being ashamed of telling it out to her. Then what was the problem? Would making him more physically comfortable with her help him spill it all out to her without hesitating this much? She really didn't know. But she wanted to make Ben feel comfortable. And moreover, she couldn't deny that she too craved for this physical intimacy between them.
Gwen brought her face closer to Ben's, and rested her forehead on his. "Come on, Ben…tell me."
Ben breathed deeply. "First you gotta promise me something."
Gwen nodded slowly. Ben took her hands down from his cheek, and placed them on his lap. Then slowly…very slowly, he interlocked his fingers with hers. "You're not gonna get angry on me?"
"Uh…no…" Gwen nervously licked her lips. What was Ben going to tell her?
Ben gently squeezed Gwen's hands. "It's…" He took another deep breath. No other time would be as appropriate as this to tell her of his true feelings for her. Who knew – if he was lucky, he could even have his feelings reciprocated back.
"Ok…it's time I told this to you, Gwen. We – the both of us – have been through a lot within these past few weeks…and…and…"
"Yes?" Gwen prodded gently, staring intently into Ben's eyes. "And what?"
"And I just wanted to let you know that…that…I…I…" Ben couldn't continue – not with Gwen staring into his eyes like that. He slowly broke the gaze, and looked down at their interlaced fingers. He inhaled deeply once again. Okay…here I go…
"I just wanted to tell you this…that…that…Gwen…I love you…"
An excruciating silence followed. Ben fixedly kept staring at their hands, wondering what reaction his words had elicited from Gwen. But he didn't have the courage to look up. He wished Gwen would say something…something…just anything…
"Ben…"
The sudden sound of Gwen's voice, breaking the unnerving silence made Ben look up – straight into her eyes. "Yeah…?"
"What if I told you –" began Gwen, but was cut off quickly by Ben.
" I know…you're gonna tell me that we're cousins, and this entire thing is just taboo…"
"Ben…I…"
"And that a relationship like this is not gonna be accepted be society…"
"Ben, look…I just…"
"And you're ultimately gonna tell me this that you never the felt same way, but I—"
"Oh…for heaven's sake! Just shut up and listen to me!"
And before Ben could even begin to ask what he was supposed to listen to, he could feel Gwen's lips on his, drawing him into a kiss filled with intense passion and fervor. He didn't need to ask her anymore what she wanted to tell him… He'd got his answer.
Without much further ado, Ben put his arms around Gwen, and pulled her closer to him. Instinctively, Gwen put her hand behind his head, and buried her fingers into his hair. The kiss deepened, sending pleasant little shivers up and down both their spines.
They stayed like that for what seemed like forever, savoring the taste of each other. Then finally, they pulled back, flushed and panting, hearts beating overtime.
When finally both had regained composure enough to speak, they began in unison, "I didn't know—"
Then both stopped, and smiled.
"You first," offered Ben graciously.
"Really?" Gwen arched an eyebrow. "From when did you become the gracious one? From what I know of you, that's not your forte."
"Uh…guess falling in love with your cousin tends to do that to you!" Ben said, grinning.
Gwen chuckled. "I seriously didn't know that you too felt this way 'bout me. I mean, I thought I was the only one fantasizing 'bout you…"
"Same goes for me too," said Ben, putting an arm round Gwen's shoulder and pulling her even more closer to him. "I too didn't know that you felt the same way 'bout me."
"But now you do. And how does that feel?" Gwen slowly laid her head on Ben's shoulder.
"How's it supposed to feel?" countered Ben.
"Heavenly."
"Then that's what I feel too," answered Ben, gently kissing the top of Gwen's head. "But can I ask you something?"
"Hmm, sure."
"Why did you shout at me like that a couple of half-hours before?"
Gwen sat up straight, a little guilty smile on her face. "I thought you were hell bent on distracting me from what I was trying to do. You know…after all, that's one thing you've been doing the whole of this summer."
Ben too grinned. There was a twinkle in his eyes. "But don't think that I'm gonna spare you now, just 'coz we've discovered that we both love each other!"
Gwen groaned. "Do you mean you're still gonna irritate me to death, and get us thrown out of every hotel or mall we visit?"
"You bet!" Ben was grinning from ear to ear now.
"Oh, you little dweeb!' Gwen playfully punched Ben in the arm. "You're never gonna change, are you?"
Ben shook his head in a self-satisfied manner.
Gwen lovingly ran her hand through his hair. "Don't change. I love you just as you are. Dweeb."
"And I too love you just as you are. With all your know-it-all-ness and geekiness."
Gwen smiled softly. "But what about Grandpa? Do we let him know? I don't think it would be that good an idea."
"I too don't think so," replied Ben. "He'd probably freak out if he learnt that his two grandchildren were in love with each other."
Gwen laughed at the thought. "So what do we do, then?"
Ben grinned. "For now, we'll keep this our own little secret, okay?"
Gwen nodded, smiling, as the two leant in for another kiss.
THE END
A/N: Okay…hope you liked that. It's, by far, the longest oneshot I've written; though I have written only a single other oneshot, lol. Anyway, this was one story I really liked writing. Hope you enjoyed reading it too. If you did – and even if you didn't – don't forget to review!
