Ted Cruz had not killed anyone for almost 45 years. He remembered those days as if they were almost yesterday, before he took the potion that brought him into a cryogenic sleep so he would stay young forever. No one had caught him. Heidi and the kids still didn't know. Still didn't know he was the cold blooded zodiac killer, and he planned for it to stay that way. But now, those evil interwebs hooligans had figured it out and the jig was up. Someone even hacked his Twitter bio to add "the real zodiac killer" into it. He straightened his suit, getting ready for one of the debates that Fox News so often held. He was planning on starting again. His first victim was to be that escaped Oompa Loompa trump, his biggest competitor. Ted licked his lips creepily, imagining the blood. He also rather enjoyed the taste of human hair, and troompa Loompa had a lot of luscious hair that he could suck on all day. He arrived at the debate, concealing a knife he was planning to use on the Gerber baby after the show. "Hi my name is Sarah. I have a question for . How long did it take you to wash the blood off from being the real zodiac killer?" Jeepers! Stupid girl didn't know what she was asking. "I'm a Christian first and an American second. That's all I have to say. Thank you" Ted nervously cleared his throat and stepped back from the stand. What he didn't notice was a pair of eyes on him. Trump had noticed his knife, and he wasn't planning on dying today. If this guy wanted a senator games, he would get it! Trump was called up to answer a question and Ted took the opportunity to take a whiff of his spray painted hair. Mmmmmmmmm, hair. Before he knew what was happening, trump swung around and hit Ted straight in the face. "What the-" Ted couldn't get the words out before trump had body slammed him into the ground, and kicked the knife out of his hand. There were gasps all around as trump put his hand around ted's throat, beginning to strangle him. "Eeeeeeeeeeeeee" was all Ted was able to say. "You think you could just kill the trump, Cruz?!" Ted was beginning to black out, and yet no one did anything. "Well I got news for you. You just got trumped, bitch!" Was the last thing he heard before Ted blacked out and faded into oblivion completely.