Act One:
The scene opens on a forest with some misty bits and eerie music interspersed with Linkin Park. Edward and Bella are doing some things like stand, jump around in trees and lie in flowers.
Edward: Yahar, my love, yahar.
Bella: Nnngghh.
Act Two:
A field. Bad lighting. Maybe some lightning or a blizzard or at the very least a chinook wind. Lots of vampires, some of them angry and snarly, some of them in designer clothes. Also, giant wolves, none of them in designer clothes. But some Native Americans in cutoff shorts.
Fighting, jumping, gnashing of wolf jaws. Bella gets paw swiped or smacked into a tree at some point.
Bella: Nnngghh.
Act Three:
A hospital. Edward leans over the lifeless corpse of Bella (i.e. in her normal state). There is a grand piano in the hospital room, too.
Bella: Let's get married in the next movie.
Edward stops leaning over Bella in order to play the piano and recite a haiku.
Edward:
Bella, you are hot.
You read two books and cook fish.
Marry me, then sex.
The End
